Since the prologue is so short I'm posting the second chapter at the same time!
October 2, 2016
Logan pushed open the front door and pulled his suitcase behind him with a heavy sigh. He looked around the empty flat and had never been more grateful for Odette's frequent shopping trips to Paris as he was at that moment. He knew he couldn't face her right now; couldn't keep up his facade. Not now, not today, and probably not tomorrow either. He tossed his jacket over the back of the couch and headed towards the kitchen to find a snack, but there was nothing in the fridge or pantry. He wasn't hungry any way. He had picked at his eggs that morning in the diner in New Hampshire and still didn't have an appetite. He walked over to the drink cart and decided the situation called for a liquid lunch. It was midday there but his body was still in the Eastern time zone, and if there was ever a reason to drink this early in the day this was it. He poured himself two fingers of scotch and collapsed into the couch.
He had always known it was going to end this way. Of course he had wished deep down in his heart that Rory would tell him to not marry Odette. Confess her love for him and that no matter the cost they should stop this sneaking around and just be happy together. But he lived in the real world. Happily ever after is for children's stories. He was going to do the "right" thing and marry Odette, and Rory was going to write her book and carve out the success he knew she was destined to achieve. Odette was a good woman. She loved him and would be a good wife. As an only child one day she would be the sole heir to her family's considerable fortune which would keep HPG flush with capital that it desperately needed in this era of new media, and she would happily turn that money over to him because she trusted him. Logan took another long gulp of the scotch while he considered what a total bastard he had become.
They were getting married in April, a beautiful spring wedding in Paris. She had agreed to a long engagement because he used the excuse of wanting to finish certain projects at work. He kept stalling on setting a date and she finally put her foot down and told him it was April or never. He should have let her pick never. But that didn't happen. He was a coward once again and didn't tell her the truth. That was his chance. Instead he let his life happen to him. His judgment was so clouded by Rory it was almost like he walked around in a drunken haze. She chose their Vegas agreement and if he could just hold on to her for as long as possible, no matter how tenuous that hold was, he could maybe get her to change her mind. And Rory in any form was better than no Rory at all. He got up and poured himself another scotch.
Walking over to the desk with his desktop computer he pulled open a drawer that held files from work. He pushed back folders until he got to the very back and found what he was looking for- a practically ancient iPod from his time in Palo Alto. He found the charger, hooked it up to his computer and it miraculously blinked on after a few seconds. He scrolled down until he found the playlist he was looking for and pressed play. If he was going to wallow in his self pity he was going to do it properly. The soulful voice of Eddie Vedder came out of his speakers as he sang the opening lines to Come Back. He spent many a night drinking alone listening to these songs and it felt fitting to repeat the exercise. This morning had been the end. She was gone from his life forever and they would be left with nothing but the memories.
This was for the best. It was the same thing he had told himself after the rejected proposal and their break up on her graduation day. They needed a clean break this time. Keep telling yourself that, he thought to himself. He had made a commitment to Odette and she to him, when Rory had never been able to give him more than the promise of a couple stolen days every few weeks in a transatlantic affair. Odette was smart, funny, beautiful, and satisfied with the life he could give her. Any man would be crazy to turn that down. Was she perfect? Of course not, but he sure as hell wasn't either. She would never be unfaithful to him, of that he was certain. She would never take middle of the night phone calls from a secret lover while he slept peacefully in their bed. She wouldn't be okay with him sleeping with another woman while she casually dated another man either. While the French may be famously laissez-faire about monogamy, Odette was not one of them. Her father had kept a mistress for many years that led to a nasty divorce and destroyed their relationship. That made Logan even more of a bastard. If she were ever to find out about him and Rory it would crush her. He had become the worst version of himself, he had became his father.
The first few bars of Going to California filled the room and Logan decided one last scotch wouldn't hurt. If you're going to get drunk this early in the day might as well do it right. He sat back down on the couch and put his head in his hands. There were tears in his eyes but he wouldn't let them fall. He didn't have the right to cry. He threw back the last of the liquor and rested his head on the cushions. His last thought before he let sleep over take his body was the picture of her face he had burned into his memory that morning.
Several hours later Logan groaned as his body woke itself up. He could feel his pulse in his head as it ached in response to all the alcohol. The room was dark and he could hear the music still playing on a loop from the 10 year old iPod that he couldn't believe was still working. He drug himself off the couch noting he had fell asleep with his shoes still on, and made his way to the bathroom. The harsh overhead light made him squint and sent another shooting pain through his head. He managed to find a few aspirin in the medicine cabinet and took in his appearance when he closed the mirrored door. He was a total wreck. There was an imprint of the throw pillow on his face and he must've drooled in his sleep.
He went to the bedroom, changed into clean clothes and ran a comb through is disheveled hair. He picked up his phone and ordered take out. When he hung up he almost instinctively texted Rory to see how she was doing but stopped himself. Shaking his head, he thought what are you doing Logan? She had said it herself. His days of rescuing her were over.
He was going to stop this. He was going to become a better man. He wasn't in love with Odette but he did very much care about her and wanted her to be happy. That had to be enough. He knew there were millions of other people in this world who couldn't say that much about their spouse. He scrolled through his contacts and landed on her name. He sent a text to his fiancé to tell her he was back home in London and missed her. That he couldn't wait for her to get back from Paris. That he had a busy week at work ahead of him but next weekend they should make plans to get away together, somewhere romantic.
It was time to put this childish behavior behind him. He was a man, a man who was going to be a faithful husband to his faithful wife.
A/N: I am normally not crazy about songfics but I was thinking about what music Logan would've possibly been listening to so I looked up what was in my playlists circa 2007. I was obsessed with that Pearl Jam album and then Going to California was such an obvious choice. I know it's easy to paint Odette as a villain, or also a cheater, or okay with an open relationship, etc. but I truly don't think that is how she is meant to be portrayed in the revival. Logan wouldn't be sneaking around when she is there, and Rory wouldn't be jealous of her presence. I've been cheated on before when I was in a long-term relationship, and my ex eventually married the person he cheated with. It's not a fairy tale for the person who is in the dark and I want to be respectful of the character's feelings. It's important for Logan (and Rory) to acknowledge that they have been very cruel to the people they were publicly dating.
