Thanks so much for the reviews and follows! I was so excited to actually post something, and to find out people actually read it just made my day! I hope this chapter draws you in further. :)

#

Jay parked the 300 in the lot behind the 21st precinct. He gripped the steering wheel and stared through the windshield unseeingly. Memories flooded over him, through him, threatening to drown him. He squeezed his eyes shut. His breathing turned ragged.

A knock on his window jolted him back to reality. Chicago. The police station. Intelligence.

Mouse stood next to the car and Jay rolled his window down.

"You good?" Mouse asked. His fingers tapped against his leg. "You looked…not good for a minute there."

Jay nodded. He was good. He had to be. Jess needed him to be. She didn't need the broken brother who had barely made it home and struggled to keep a grip on reality.

"So you're good?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." Jay rolled up the window and pocketed the keys. He got out of the car and fell into step alongside Mouse.

"You took off from Molly's fast last night," Mouse said, sliding a look toward Jay.

"Will called," Jay said. He stopped and glanced around, then lowered his voice. "My sister came home." He shook his head and clenched his jaw. "No. She didn't come home. She came to the hospital. In an ambulance."

Jay recognized the look on Mouse's face. His eyes widened and his fingers tapped faster. "Oh man. She just showed up in the hospital? In Will's hospital? That's got to be—he must have been—is she OK? What happened, man? What are you doing here?"

He was asking himself all the same questions as Mouse, and didn't have answers. He was at the precinct because there was nothing for him to do at the hospital. And there was too much silence in his apartment.

He didn't have to say any of that to Mouse. His friend, his Army brother, nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, you should be here. We've got your back here."

"No." Jay grabbed Mouse's arm and lowered his voice further. "No one knows yet. Alright? Not a word about Jess to anyone. I'll tell Erin, but no one else. I just…I need to figure out what to do about Jess first. She came back to the states a month ago," he paused. His jaw worked. "She's not doing well."

"Yeah man. I've got you. Not a word." Mouse nodded. "Just let me know what you need. What Jess needs."

"Right now I need to tell Erin why I bailed on her last night," Jay grimaced.

#

Jess wasn't going to wait around for discharge papers. She had had enough of papers and regulations and red tape in the Army to last her a lifetime.

And then there was the matter of her brothers. Will was going to give her a ride to his place as soon as Dr. Choi let him know she was cleared to leave. No doubt Jay would be there, too. And they would want to talk.

Jess found the tshirt she had been wearing when they brought her in. Wrinkled and worse for the wear, but better than the hospital gown she was currently wearing.

She slipped it on then pulled on her jeans and slipped her feet into her converse.

She rummaged through the drawers of the treatment cart in her room until she found bandage scissors and neatly sliced off her hospital bracelet. Keeping her head down, she ducked out of her room and walked quickly toward the exit.

From the trauma bay came a scream. Someone in pain.

Cold sweat trickled down Jess' back at the sound. Her fingers curled into her palms and her nails dug in, though she didn't feel any pain.

Keep walking. She ordered herself to put one foot in front of the other. Another scream, followed by the hurried voices of doctors and nurses. Black spots floated in front of her. She tried to slow her breathing even as her pace increased. She was running by the time she burst out the automatic doors into the parking lot.

She gulped in the fresh air. She pressed her clammy hands to her face and closed her eyes. Memories of screams, of the wounded, mingled with what she had just heard. Dust. So much dust in this desert she could hardly breathe.

"Jess?"

She could hear her captain's voice calling to her. Right before the bomb exploded.

"Jess!" Two hands, real hands, gripped her shoulders tightly.

Jess dropped her hands down to feel the very real and strong hands holding her. She opened her eyes. Where was she?

Jay's face came into focus. Jay was in Afghanistan still?

"Jess, you're OK," he said. His blue eyes drilled into hers, holding hers. "You're OK. I'm here. You're here, in Chicago. You're OK. You're safe."

Safe. There was no way she was safe. She shook her head. A siren pierced the air, coming closer. Was that an air raid siren? No, no, no, no. No more air strikes. No more IEDs. She couldn't handle any more.

"Jessica Halstead!" Jay snapped, giving her a little shake. "This is Chicago. Stay with me. Stay here."

Jess nodded. Someone else took her hand. "Let's get her to the car, Jay. Let's get her somewhere quiet."

The woman's voice was soothing. Slightly raspy, completely calm. Comforting. Jess looked at the woman. The woman, a brunette with honey highlights, smiled sympathetically. "Let's get you home, Jess."

As soon as she was in the car, in the backseat with Jay, the tremors started. The letdown of the pure adrenaline and panic. Jay reached over and grasped her hand. "It'll pass," he assured her.

Jess nodded. It would pass. She knew that. But she also knew she'd be dealing with it again. Tonight after a nightmare. Tomorrow after hearing the sound of gunfire on a television show. This was her life now. There was no escaping the war.

#

Jay unlocked his door and held it open for Erin and Jess to walk through.

Jess' eyes had cleared and her body had finally stilled during the drive to his apartment. She was supposed to stay at Will's, but Jay hadn't taken the time to go into the hospital and get Will's key. He had wanted to help her get settled at Will's and to see how she was doing. When he and Erin pulled up to Med, he had his answer.

His phone buzzed again. Now that they weren't in the car and Jess looked like she was settling down, he pulled it out of his jeans pocket. Will.

Erin nodded for him to get it while she led Jess to the couch and sat down with her.

"Hey," Jay said, answering his phone.

"Where are you?" Will demanded, skipping any pretense of civility. "I've been calling for the last 20 minutes."

Jay glanced over his shoulder and saw Jess smile weakly at something Erin said, then answer her. He moved into the kitchen. "I was bringing Jess home."

He could almost hear Will throw his hands up in frustration. "Well thanks for telling me she was with you. She left without telling anyone."

"Yeah, well, I figured as much when I found her running out of Med." No need to tell Will about the flashback Jess was in the middle of.

"And you think it's my fault she was out there? I was keeping an eye on her, she slipped out when I went to check on another patient. You could have stayed, Jay, and not gone into work this morning."

"And you could have made her a priority over your other patients," Jay retorted.

"I'm off now," Will said shortly. "I'll be there soon."

Jay cut the connection and tossed his phone on the counter. He caught himself before he stalked into the other room. He forced himself to count to ten, to take some slow breaths. When he had everything under control, he went to check on Jess.

"This was the summer before we lost our Mom," Jess was saying. The ghost of a smile flickered on her lips. She handed the framed picture to Erin. "She was already sick, but we still made our summer trip to the cabin. It was the last summer Will, Jay, and I were together. After Mom's funeral, Jay enlisted and Will was already in med school in New York."

"That must have been lonely," Erin said.

Jay didn't dare move and interrupt Jess.

Jess set the picture back on the end table before she spoke. "It wasn't a big deal," she said. Gone was the warmth from a minute ago. Her voice was stoic. "I avoided my dad as much as possible and did the first thing that would get me out of the house."

"You enlisted," Erin said.

Jess' face shuttered. She pulled back from Erin and looked away. She saw Jay. "Nice place, Jay," she said.

"Thanks," he said. "You can stay here and I'll take the couch. Otherwise Will has a guest room at his place."

Jess shook her head. Her eyes darted around the room, avoiding Jay.

"You have to have somewhere to stay, Jess."

Somewhere we can keep an eye on you. He didn't say the words, but they hung unspoken in the air.

Jess got up. "I'm not staying with you or Will," she said, shaking her head.

Her lips trembled and she looked younger than 22.

"Where else are you going to stay?" Jay asked. He stepped toward Jess. Big mistake.

She backed up quickly, knocking against a chair. The scrape of it across the wood floor visibly jolted her. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for an escape.

"Not here," she answered.

"Jay," Erin said under her breath. A warning for him to slow down, to back off.

Jay stopped and held his hands up. "Let's just talk. We all want to help you, Jess."

She shook her head quickly. Jay saw the guilt, the fear, the torture all mixed together in an expression that was familiar to Jay. It was the same look he had seen every time he looked in a mirror after he got home from his tour. When he had been able to face himself in the mirror.

Jess continued to back away until her back hit the door.

"Hey, Jess, your brothers and I just really want to be there for you. Let's talk about how we can do that," Erin said. She didn't stand or move. Her voice stayed calm and reassuring.

Jess shook her head frantically. "No. No one can help."

Before Jay could see it coming, she had a hand on the doorknob. In one motion, she opened the door and ran down the hallway. She ran away from the people who could help her.