When Alfred got back to Wayne manor, he made his way to the living room, leaving a foot trail of water behind him. WHen he entered into the room, he was surprised to see Bruce there, looking rather distressed. His back was faced to Alfred and he was leaning on the couch, chin touching his chest. Alfred coughed to let his presence be known. Bruce jumped then let out a long breath when he realized who it was. Turning to Alfred he said hi and looked down at the floor.
"Is everything alright master Bruce?"
"The Joker escaped. Again."
"Well, I can't be really surprised. Any idea how he did it this time?"
"No. Most likely more men we can't trust in our firm. The worst part was, was that I saw him this late afternoon."
"Did you?"
"At the park. Like an hour after you left, I went there."
"I was there just before you. I didn't see anything suspicious."
"We must have just missed each other. I was at the pond and this man came up to me and he seemed so familiar. He wore a big dark sweater and gloves and he gave me bread to feed the birds. I am such an idiot. Deep down, I knew it was him, yet I didn't act till it was too late."
"You know, now that you say that, across the pond from where I was, there was a man in a large sweater holding a bag of bread. I couldn't see his face though."
"Then that had to be him. It was complete chance that we met there."
"I can't help but wonder what he was doing there. Hard to think that he just went there to feed the birds. Perhaps poison them maybe but not just feed them."
"I don't know. He wants me to meet him tonight."
"Well, at least that will be an easy catch."
"I hardly think he wont be prepared for Batman to show up."
"Quite odd how he knows who you are, yet doesn't come here to do anything about it."
"I know he doesn't want to kill me. His life would be boring if I was gone. We had that night. Me asking him to let me help him, then him telling me that stupid joke. Afterwards we laughed and he fallowed me to the asylum, not putting up any fuss. Then I left for two years and it really put a tole on him.. He took it out on so many people there. Then when I got back, he just resumed everything back to normal, like I had never left."
"Still. I would be expecting some type of prank by now."
"Who knows with him."
"So, will you go as Bruce or Batman?" asked Alfred with a raised brow.
"Wouldn't be very good on Bruce if people saw him hanging with the Joker."
"Wouldn't be very good on Batman either."
Bruce sighed rubbed his eyes for a moment with a thumb and fingers. When he looked back up, he suddenly realized that Alfred was soaked.
"Why are you wet?"
"It's a long story sir." said Alfred and he turned to go to his room.
"Did you at least have fun?"
"Of course Sir."
Joker looked at himself in his bathroom mirror, turning his face this way and that to look at every angle. It was nearing one in the morning and he needed to hurry, but every time he thought he was done grooming himself, he wouldn't be satisfied and would try again. His new hair cut suited him, but he had no idea which way to part it. The mirror was cracked, forming a web that took up two thirds of the glass. Finally, the Joker let out a frustrated sigh, and he left the room, only to come back with a crow bar, and proceeded to swing at the mirror, shattering glass that flew in every direction.
When he was done letting out his anger, he ran a hand through his green hair, brushing it back out of his face. This would have to do. He dropped the crow bar, left the bathroom, and rushed out the door.
Batman stood in front of the pond, exactly where he had been earlier. It was ten past one and he was feeling a little antsy waiting on the Joker. He looked this way and that, making sure the Joker wasn't sneaking up on him, and finally he saw a silhouette of a man approaching him from a far. The Joker walked steadily too him, wanting to be there as quick as he could, but not wanting to look so excited to see him. When he came into view, Batman gave him a once over, making sure he wasn't carrying anything suspicious. The first thing he could see was that the Joker held his hands behind his back, and his walk integrated into a skip. The Joker stopped just a few feet away, a grin spread across his face. "I see Batman came. Such a pitty really. I would have liked to get to know the person inside the mask a lot more. I am sure behind the playboy billionaire charade, there is a much more interesting person inside."
"I would say no. Not much to see in that one." he said in his harsh Batman voice.
"Oh come now Batsy, we both know I know who you are, so you can stop the voice."
In truth, he hadn't even noticed that he was doing it. He had gotten so used to doing the voice in his bat costume that it just came naturally to him. Now that he thought about it, he did that to Alfred as well, and he wondered why he never said anything.
"Like my new look Bats? I did it just for you." grinned the Joker and he spun to let Batman get a good look at every angle.
Before he could stop himself, Batman looked him up and down. Despite Joker's unnatural appearance, he did look rather handsome that night. His hair had definitely changed. The sides and back of his scalp were cut short, hardly touching his ears creating an undercut to the top of his scalp that was a few inches longer in length. It all slicked back out of his face, and looked soft and clean unlike the wild dirt pit that it usually did. In fact, his pale skin looked actually clean and smooth as well, like he had actually taken a shower. Batman could even smell the light musk of the Joker as the wind softly blew it his way, and it didn't make him want to turn away this time. It actually smelt nice. He also had on an immaculate three piece slim fit suit, one he most likely stole. The inside shirt was a dark radiant shade of green, the vest, jacket and pants a plum purple. His bow-tie he wore were striped the same two colors, and he finished it off with a pair or black Dockers dress shoes shined to perfection.
"You look nice." said Batman, before he could stop himself.
"And here you are, looking the same as always. Oh well, that's my Bats for you. Want to take a walk?"
"What do you want Joker?" asked Batman annoyed.
"I just want to take a walk with an old friend. Is that so much to ask? Am glad you figured out it was me earlier. I would have been a little hurt if you hadn't."
"No one else is like you Joker. It would be hard to mistake you."
"Aw!" said the Joker, clinching his hands together, and placing them under his chin. His eyes fluttered, and Batman couldn't escape the blush as he saw Joker's eyes shining like green emeralds. He mentally kicked himself and let out an annoyed sigh.
"Well, are we going to walk or not?" asked the Joker and Batman rolled his eyes.
"Fine. Let's walk. But if you try anything -" began Batman, however, the Joker cut him off.
"Oh come now Batman, I am not going to try anything. You can trust me. Cross my heart and hope to be stricken with the plague."
"Hmm." Batman did not sound impressed, but he faced the other way and began to walk. The Joker smiled at the back of his head and began to fallow him. Now if the two of them were to take off their shoes, then the Joker would stand three inches taller than Bruce, but with Batman, he stood several inches shorter; and the Joker looked up at his face, just realizing this as he thought about that morning. In all honesty, he liked being shorter. He wasn't sure why, but he liked looking up at him, rather than down. It didn't make much sense, as being taller than your frenemy made you feel more powerful, but when it came to Batman, he liked feeling a little vulnerable.
"So, where we walking to Bats?"
"I am taking you back to Arkham."
"What?! NO! I just got out of that hell hole!" said Joker in disbelief.
"Yes, and you are supposed to be staying in there."
"Come on Batman! Least give me one night out with you. It's been two years since our last laugh. All I am asking for is a boys night out. It gets crazy in the asylum doing nothing all day. I promise you. Let me have one night. You can supervise me. Just one night of getting some air and catching up with an old friend, and I promise, I will go back to Arkham with out any tizzy."
Batman looked into his eyes, staring into him as though he were trying to reach the Jokers very soul and see if he were telling the truth. But the Joker just stood there smiling, eyes big and puppy like.
Batman sighed. "You won't give me any trouble?"
"Nope."
"And you will go back with no problems right after the night is over?"
"Yep! I will be a good little dog. Till the next time I escape." he quickly added under his breath.
Batman couldn't help the amused smile that formed on his face. "Fine. Where would you like to go?"
"Oh yippy! How about . . . the zoo!"
"The zoo?"
"Yes. Oh how I love to rile up the apes before the zookeepers rounds in the morning. Really gets them agitated for the day."
"Joker." said Batman with a smile.
"Oh alright. Not there then. Hmm." It was then when Joker's stomach began to rumble and he looked at his belly for a moment. "Was that me? Oh my. I supposed I haven't eaten but those few pieces of bread today. I am rather hungry."
"What were you doing at the park today?"
"What? Can't even an insane fellow enjoy some peace and quiet at the park, feeding duckies with some bread he stole out of a women's cart in the parking lot of a super market?"
Batman smiled and shook his head. Come to think of it, he had been so stressed about the Joker, he had completely forgotten about eating lunch or dinner. He then heard Alfred's voice, faint but there, asking him what he wanted to eat, but Bruce had kept telling him nothing, not really paying him any attention. He sure regretted now as the talk of food began to make his stomach turn, and he felt a bit sick from hunger.
"I supposed I can get us something. There is a diner not far that stays open 24 hrs for the late night police."
"That sounds lovely."
"You can wait in the car while I get the food. Don't need you making a scene."
"Oh come now Batman. You can trust me." said Joker with an impossibly wide grin.
This had bad idea written all over it.
They made it to the Batmobile, and batman pulled the latch on the passenger side, and it slowly opened upward for the Joker. The Joker felt a jolt run through him, and he grinned to himself before ducking inside. Batman took off quickly, wanting the night to be over so he could take Joker back to Arkham.
"You know Sweets, if you are so concerned about me, why don't we just have dinner at your place? Not like I don't already know where you live."
"We are not going to my place. Now what would you like me to order for you?"
"What do they have?"
"It's a diner Joker. They all have the same things."
"Oh well. I suppose I would like to have some flapjacks. Oh no, a hamburger. Or wait, a big plate of bacon and eggs! Oh it is so hard to choose after eating nothing but mush for the past two years."
"Well decide before we get there."
"Why can't I come in? I promise to behave. How many times must I say it? Besides, I have a new suit. I'd like to show off before I am forced in those hideous asylum garments."
The Joker was sure getting on Batman's nerves. Half of him wanted to knock his ass out and just take him there, while the other half . . . well, he wasn't quite sure. But, a promise is a promise, and Joker was being surprisingly good, although a bit annoying.
When they pulled up to the diner, Batman exited the Batmobile and walked around to the passenger side. Joker waited with a grin on his face as the door lifted and he stepped out. "Why thank you Bats. I knew you would – oh phewy." Before Joker could blink, Batman had him in handcuffs. "Couldn't you at least waited for the bedroom before you hand cuffed me?"
Batman's face turned a dark shade of red, which Joker was not able to see under his cowl, but despite this, he knew he hit a chord with him, because Batman tensed up for a moment, his eyes going wide as he was taken back by the comment. He turned away from Joker and his voice came out anxious. "Shut up. Come along and behave or our "boys night" is canceled."
"Alright alright. Just having a little fun." said Joker amused. He quite liked Batman's reaction to his half joke half serious comment. It was cute.
Batman got the the door first and opened it for the Joker, who in return smiled bashfully at him, playfully of course. Batman rolled his eyes and fallowed behind him. The diner had been filled with chatter one moment, then complete silents the next as the officers noticed who was walking in. To the left of them were two groups of four to five cops that had merged some tables together, and to the right were one group of three sitting at a bench, the waitress just jotting down their orders. They all looked at Joker for a moment, then to Batman, and back to Joker, till finally, all of the officers stood, pointing their guns at the Joker.
"Batman! What the hell is he doing here?" shouted one from the left. He was a tall light blond haired man with pale eyes.
"Calm down everyone." began Batman. "I have captured the Joker. He can not do you any harm. He promised he would go back to Arkham quietly if I got him a decent meal first. I saw no problem in it."
"Yeah right Batman. He isn't going to do shit! Who cares what he wants anyway?!" said another.
"Yeah, you think a promise means anything to that freak?!" came another.
Batman looked at the Joker for a second, and in that one moment, he saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes, before he smiled his trade mark smile at him. "Oh I assure you I keep my promises. Even a freak like me has standards. What kind of professional criminal would I be if I threw promises away?"
"I don't give a shit what you say. You are going in now."
"Not if Batsy says no." said Joker, stepping back closer to Batman as though he would protect him. Batman sighed.
"Look everyone. He is not going anywhere. He won't harm any of you. We will be in and out of here."
"Yeah. What kind of hero are you? Seems like you care more for this murderer than you do us." said the blond haired officer.
Batman was taken back. "I assure you I do not. I will take him in now."
"But you promised!" said Joker, spinning to face him."
"Come on." said Batman and he gripped him by his arm and pulled him out the door. The Joker's stomach seemed to growl loader than ever as they approached the Batmobile and Batman opened the door for him. The Joker did not move, but stood there straight faced, staring at nothing in particular.
"Come on." said Batman. "You couldn't have possibly thought that would work?"
"Then why did you try?"
"I um . . . I just did. I will take you somewhere else."
"Where exactly would that be?" asked Joker annoyed.
Batman thought for a moment, "Denny's sounds good, but we'd run into the same problem. How does Jack in the Box sound."
"Appropriate." said Joker with a shrug.
"Good. We can go through the drive through."
"Then find a nice place to park and eat right?"
"Sure."
It only took about another five minutes to get there and Batman drove around the restaurant to the drive through. "What do you want?"
"Hmmm. A double bacon cheeseburger sounds good."
Batman ordered him the cheeseburger with a side of fries and a coke, then drove to the window.
"Why didn't you get anything."
"I'm fine." lied Batman. Truth was, he was starving, but he didn't like the idea of eating with the Joker.
A woman peaked her head out the window and smiled ear to ear once she saw who it was ordering food.
"OMG! Batman! I can't believe this! I am such a huge fan!"
Batman smiled at her, "Thank you. You are the reason I do what I do."
"Oh my goodness! Please, your meal is on me."
"Oh I couldn't possibly."
"Please! It's the least I can do." she begged, her big brown eyes pleading with him.
"Well, alright." said Batman and she handed him the bag of food and the drink, to which he handed it over to the Joker who struggled to hold everything. Batman had forgotten he had hand cuffed him.
"Can I have your autograph?" she squealed.
"Of course. Do you have a pen and paper?"
"Yes!"
Joker sat there annoyed with Batman and this stupid girl who was taking up his time. He leaned over Batman and smiled at her. "Hey! Want mine too doll face!"
The woman shrieked and backed away from the window.
Batman shoved Joker back and called out to the girl.
"It's fine! I am taking him back to Arkham right now."
"He escaped this morning didn't he?" asked the girl.
"Yes."
"Why don't you just kill him!" said the girl coldly.
Batman stared at her for a moment before answering. "Because if I killed him, there would be a new murderer in this city, and this city doesn't need another one." and with that, he rolled up his window and sped off.
Joker stared at him for several minutes, and Batman ignored him, glaring daggers out his windshield.
"They just don't understand you now do they?" began the Joker. "They just want what comes easy. Of course they do. They are all so lazy. If someone gives you trouble, just kill them. It is so much easier. So much more fun." he said with a laugh. "But that is not you now is it? Why can't they understand that?! Sure you could kill me, but that would be murder, and you are no murderer. Bone crusher yes, but no murderer. It's against your moral code. You don't do what's easy, you do what's right. Do they appreciate that? No! They want what's easy. Not what's right."
"Shut up Joker."
"What?! I am agreeing with you! All I am saying is that perhaps you are too good for these people."
Batman wasn't sure what Joker was up to. It wasn't like him to be saying such things to try and lift his spirits. Surely there had to be a darker motivation for him trying to be a comfort. Still, it was as though the Joker was reading his very thoughts. And he knew that too.
"Come now Sweetcakes. I know that is what you were thinking. Like I said, we are not so different you and I. We have different views yes, but we are driven by the same force."
"And what would that be."
"To make a point of course. My point is that all people are shallow, and when it comes down to it, they will always disappoint, while your point is that people are naturally good, and will fight for whats right. Well, I think we can both agree that we are both wrong and both right in ways. My drive is the want to cause chaos. And your drive, well you say you want peace, but that isn't exactly right now is it? You crave chaos almost as much as I do. In different ways yes, but chaos all the same. I do what I do to get your attention, and you do what you do to -"
"Shut up Joker!"
"Oh, did I hit a nerve? Admit it Bats! You like having me around just as much as I like having you around. Why else would you keep me alive after all I've done? You won't ever admit it to yourself, but you lust for our relationship. It distracts you from your boring everyday life."
"Joker. I mean it."
"No! I am done with this! How much more do I have to do before you get it in your head? I hate you! And I love to hate you. Just as you love to hate me. We are alone without each other, and I bring out the Batman in you."
Batman turned off the road and parked the batmobile just off the highway. So many things were running through his head. It was true, Joker brought out parts of him he had never seen, some of which were perhaps even the best of him. But he had also brought out the worst, or what he hoped would be the worst. He wanted to argue, but he couldn't think of anything to say. The Joker just waited patiently there, curious at what he would say or do. Batman stared at him, struggling with his words, sneering all the while.
"Just admit it Batman. I am your high."
"What do you want with me Joker?" asked Batman irritated.
Joker sighed and looked away from him. "If you haven't gotten it by now, then I wont bother." and he sipped on his drink.
Batman narrowed his brows at him and leaned back in his seat.
"Well, are we going to go back to the park or not?" asked the Joker, still not looking at him.
"You can eat here."
"But-!" said Joker in a panic.
"Just shut up!" Batman snapped. Joker didn't feel much for eating anymore. He looked down at his food and felt like this whole night was a waist of time. Then, steadily that car turned back onto the highway. They made a right turn, a left, another right and finally they were there, back at the park. Batman ducked out of the Batmobile and and walked around the car to Joker's side. He opened the door for him again and Joker jumped out, still holding his food. He fallowed Batman to a bench and they sat. Before Joker could open his bag, Batman turned to him and unlocked the hand cuffs, placing them to his other side and he turned his gaze to the Batmobile.
Joker watched him out of the corner of his eye while eating his hamburger. After he was half way finished, he looked down at the food then back over to Batman, then back down to his food. He stuck a hand in his bag and pulled out the french fries and turned them towards Batman. He hadn't noticed for a few second, but he looked at Joker for a moment, then down to the ground and he slipped his hand into the bag and took out a couple french fries, and began to chew them. Man he was so hungry. Much hungrier than he thought he was. Once those salty potato stick hit his lips, his stomach let out a loud growl. Joker chuckled and continued to eat his cheeseburger.
"I told you to order something." he said with a smile.
"Shut up."
