Damon was all for the idea of Elena living out her human dreams and feeling truly alive again. Until he realized that there was way more than just rain currently engulfing Mystic Falls. There was also lightning, thunder, and heavy winds that were whipping objects through the air…objects that could stake Elena. And even though he encouraged her letting loose more than anyone, his concern for her trumped that. So he chased after the girl who was currently running up and down her street.
By the time he had stopped her by grabbing hold of her waist, they were both soaked to the bone. Of course neither of them could feel the chill of the wetness. She turned inward to face him, so that he was holding her completely against him. Damon looked down at her in awe and heard the sweetest sound—Elena's laughter. He was beginning to think that he would never hear that irreplaceable sound again with all the tragedy that had entered this precious girl's life. Elena looked upward at Damon's face, flicking from his eyes to his mouth. Although her laughter had ceased, her bright smile remained. They stood there in each other's embrace for what felt like hours.
A branch flying past them suddenly reminded Damon why he had chased after her in the first place.
He gazed intently down into her eyes, "You know we should probably get inside, before one of us gets unexpectedly skewered, and ruins the moment."
Although Elena knew he was probably right, she couldn't bring herself to end this night. Something about right now, in his embrace, told her it was time. She peeled herself out of his arms, but kept hold of his right hand.
"Come on, there's somewhere I want to show you first." She softly spoke. Confusion and curiosity filled Damon's eyes, and before he could protest, she was pulling them through the woods.
They ran for many miles, through rain that washed over them in waves. Damon had no idea where Elena was taking him, but was growing more curious by the second. Finally, she stopped in the middle of a road. She released his hand and walked a few steps away from him. Damon stood in the road, looking around. He couldn't help but feel a little underwhelmed at their destination. Why would she bring him to a random road, in the middle of the night? But the more he observed their surroundings, he realized that this road was not random at all. Damon suddenly had a sinking feeling in his stomach. However, he remained quiet, curious to see how Elena was going to handle this.
As if on cue, she turned to face him. The severe weather had died down, and all that was left was a steady, light rain. Elena studied his expression, and then decided to throw caution to the wind, and just enter the dangerous territory.
"Do you know what this place is?" She quietly, yet firmly asked.
Damon debated whether to answer or not, and settled on, "You tell me." Not revealing anything in his tone.
Elena glanced at the ground. She had expected him to let her drive this conversation. She took a deep breath. "This is where you and I first met." She paused. "Four months BEFORE I met you at the Boarding House." She emphasized.
Damon looked away. Although he knew this conversation was inevitable after she had transitioned, he still had no idea what she expected him to say. She broke through his thoughts,
"Do you remember? You thought I was Katherine."
"Of course I remember, Elena." He replied without hesitation. "And I quickly realized that you were someone entirely different." Though it was a simple statement, it spoke volumes about Damon's opinion of Elena, even from their first meeting.
Elena wanted to smile at the compliment, but knew she needed to get through this first.
"You gave me some great advice, which was awfully nice of you to do for a complete stranger as a volatile vampire at the time. Why didn't you hurt me?"
Damon seemed taken aback by that. The very thought of hurting Elena in any way seemed foreign to him. But he understood she was referring to his humanity-lacking, pre-loving-Elena, self.
He shrugged. "I guess you took me by surprise. Not only with your appearance, but with your wit and charm." She raised an eyebrow, not completely accepting that answer.
Damon hurriedly clarified, "No one had asked me in years what I wanted. But you did. You only knew me for five minutes, and already showed that you cared about what was important to me. You intrigued me, Elena."
Elena took a moment to think about that. It made sense. Even after they met, Damon seemed to always be surprised by any interest or compassion she showed him, like when she apologized to him for losing Katherine too. But something else still didn't make sense to her.
She took a step closer. "I understand why you compelled me to forget the encounter…you didn't want anyone to know you were here. But why didn't you ever tell me? Even when we got closer?"
These were questions he expected. "What would it have changed Elena?" She paused to think of an answer, but was interrupted by Damon. "Nothing. It wouldn't have changed a thing. Either you wouldn't have believed me, or wouldn't have cared that much because in your mind, you met Stefan first."
"It could have mattered." She argued. "I even told you that the night I died." He flinched at the word, but she continued. "I told you that maybe if we had met first, that things could have been different. Little did I know how ironic that statement was."
It was his turn to take a step closer. "Elena, you said that because you feel something for me. The me that is standing in front of you right now, not the Damon that was standing in this very spot all that time ago. Even if you would've met me first, I don't think it would have changed much. I was a different person back then, with an agenda, and completely different priorities. I had to go through the whole Katherine situation and all the pain and betrayal that went along with it, to be the person I am now."
He was now standing directly in front of her. He reached up to cup her face.
"Maybe if the person I am now had met you first, then things would be different. But I wouldn't be who I am now without you in the first place."
Elena closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. She knew he was right. She knew she couldn't have fallen for the person he was when he first came back to town. It was everything that happened to them between then and now that made her care so deeply for the man currently touching her face. She reached up and placed her hands over his.
"I understand. Everything that has happened has led us to this point. And now there's one more place we need to go."
When they finally arrived back in her bedroom, she retrieved them two towels to try and dry the mess that was their hair. They were silent, both lost in their own thoughts. Elena was thinking about how to approach this next subject, considering it was a lot more meaningful than their first meeting. And Damon was anxiously awaiting the deep soul-searching they were about to embark on. In his opinion, this night had been filled with enough heart-to-hearts. Yet, he figured he kind of deserved the emotional backlash, since he was the one that compelled away such heartbreaking declarations in the first place. What he was most anxious about, was how Elena was going to react to it. She had surprised him by understanding his reasons for never revealing their first encounter to her rather easily. But how easily could she understand him compelling her to forget his declaration of love?
While Damon was standing near the bed, Elena moved to her window-seat. She sat down, and tried to position herself the way he had that night. Damon was watching her intently. His face held so many emotions at once. He looked anxious, guarded, and tired. Surprisingly, she remembered seeing all these emotions on his face that night. Although she knew they both needed sleep, she felt like this conversation had to be done.
Instead of asking questions, she decided it was best to just voice her opinion.
"You shouldn't have made me forget, Damon. That was a memory that I should have been able to keep and hold onto."
Damon chose to sit at the edge of her bed. "You weren't ready to hear those words, Elena."
"How do you know?" She quickly disputed.
He faced her. "Because just two months before that you told me I had lost you forever, which was understandable, considering I had killed your brother." They both grimaced at the painful memory. "You hated me."
"I never hated you, Damon." Elena instantly corrected him. "As much as I tried, my heart wouldn't let me. I've accepted that it's impossible to hate you, no matter what you do."
Damon sadly smiled, but decided to get back on track.
"Besides, you had just been kidnapped and found out that some thousand year old vampire was coming after you. You didn't need to worry about my feelings making you feel awkward and uncomfortable every time you were around me."
Elena thought about this for a moment. "I honestly don't think it would've made me feel awkward or uncomfortable, Damon."
"Then you would have felt bad and pitied me." The thought seemed to disgust him.
"No, Damon!" She was up from her seat and beside Damon in a flash. She placed a hand on his cheek and forced him to look at her. "I just have to say something and you just need to hear it." His eyes widened at the familiar words.
"Now that I remember that night, I can assure you I felt everything besides pity. I was so overwhelmed by what you were saying. Even though I knew you cared about me, which you showed by continuously saving me, I never thought you actually loved me. But, when you said it, it was like I couldn't imagine you not loving me. It was the most honest thing you had ever said to me. And as soon as I processed your love, you were already pulling it away, saying that you didn't deserve me and I had to forget. You never gave me a chance to respond."
Damon couldn't help but interrupt her speech with a vulnerable, "What would you have said?"
Elena took a second to honestly think about what her answer would've been, but realized she knew exactly how she would've responded.
"I would have told you that you were wrong. That you did deserve me. And your willingness to give me up because you believed your brother deserved me more, proves that you are more than deserving. It was the most selfless thing you have ever done." She told him with nothing but love in her eyes.
Noticing that Damon was currently speechless, she continued. "I understand why you felt the need to say it, and why you thought you were helping me by making me forget. But in that moment, you made me feel things that I had been denying. The thought of you loving me seemed to consume me and the pure admiration that was in your eyes made me feel more wanted than I had in so long. But then you made that feeling disappear faster than it had come."
"I saw it." Damon surprisingly spoke. Elena questioned him with her eyes. "I saw that feeling in your eyes. I wasn't expecting it, but I saw the possibility of love in your eyes, which made it even harder for me to make you forget. But I hoped that one day, if I stuck around long enough, that I would see that look again."
"And did you ever see it again?"
He smiled softly. "I think you know the answer to that. But yes, I've caught glimpses of it. They are what have kept me going through all the chaos."
It was her turn to smile at him. She rested her head on his shoulder. "You know, as much as I wish you wouldn't have made me forget, I think it's better that I remembered it now, after everything we have went through together since then. I'm in more of a place to understand the immensity of it."
Damon nodded and they let silence settle in once more. At some point they had shifted from sitting on the edge of her bed, to lying down beside each other. Her head rested on his chest, while his hand gently stroked her arm.
"I know it's been a long night of heartfelt discussions, but could I dare to ask, what now?"
Elena wished she knew. If the decision was solely based on tonight, then she wouldn't hesitate to lay in Damon's arms forever and let him claim her as his. But it wasn't that simple. Stefan was still very much in the picture. Her human-self chose Stefan for a reason. She told Damon it was because she never unfell for him, no matter what her feelings had become towards Damon. But was that entirely true? And even if it was, would it remain true in her undead life? One thing she knew was true was that she loved Damon. But she would wait to share that confession at another time.
She spoke into the darkness, but was aware of him hanging on to her every word.
"I wish I could tell you because you deserve to know. But I am so lost in my own head, Damon. I know that I have feelings for the both of you, and choosing between you two was impossible enough as a human. Now as a vampire, there are so many possibilities, such as eternity, and I'm more aware of every little thing that I feel for each of you." She paused, but Damon's silence urged her to continue. "I chose Stefan that night in a moment of vulnerability and based on what I felt I needed as the girl I was right then. I don't know if it was the right decision or not, especially now, but I feel like I owe it to my human-self to at least find out."
She nervously waited for Damon to respond. She half-expected him to just get up and leave in frustration. But she knew him better than that, and of course he stayed right where he was.
"I understand, Elena. You need to figure out if as a vampire, you still want and need the same things you did as a human. It's a complicated process that we all had to go through when we turned."
She loved how he could be so understanding. She looked up into his eyes.
"I completely understand if you don't want to wait any longer, I mean I know it must be frustrating to constantly deal with…." She was stopped by Damon placing his finger to her mouth. He propped himself up on his elbow so that he was staring down at her.
"I love you, Elena, and that is NEVER going to change. I decided to wait for you before you were even close to admitting that there was even the slightest possibility for us. Now that I know that you are actually willing to feel for me and entertain the idea of us, there is no way I am quitting on you now."
Elena smiled up at him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you, Damon."
"And even if I didn't want to wait, I still wouldn't leave you. I recall making a certain promise to you that I would never do that. I keep my promises. Especially ones I make to a friend."
The tears that had welled up were now spilling over onto her pillow. Damon was right. Above all else, her and Damon were friends. And they always would be.
Damon bent down and placed a sweet kiss onto her forehead, mirroring the one he had given her that night. Only this time it was filled with hope and contentment, instead of sadness and regret.
He laid back down next to her and whispered, "Now I think it's time we get some rest."
Elena nodded into his chest. "Goodnight, Damon."
Should I continue? Please review! Any feedback is greatly appreciated :)
