Night had fallen and Amira had started to wake up. The room was aglow with candle light.
"Clarke, will you hold her while I go look for something for her to sleep in?"
"Lexa I-I don't know how to hold a baby." Lexa looked confused.
"You don't know how to hold a baby? I thought you were a doctor."
"I never got the chance to. A new baby was incredibly special on the ark, and by the time I would have been able to assist in any form of child care I was already imprisoned," Clarke mumbled, hesitation evident in her eyes. Lexa smiled softly. Standing, she gently placed her hand over Clarke's and led her to the oversized chair in the corner of the room.
"Sit, Clarke." Clarke sat and tried positioning her arms how she read in old books. Lexa gently placed Amira in the blonde's arms. Lexa laughed at how uncomfortable Clarke looked awkwardly holding the infant as far away from her body as she could. Bending down, Lexa instructed Clarke to "Bring her closer to you and relax your arms. As long as you support her head and bottom she will be fine." Clarke nodded, adjusting herself slightly. "Alright, I will be back as soon as I can." Clarke nodded and Lexa disappeared out the door. Clarke looked down at the baby in her arms.
"You know, Amira, this isn't how I thought I would be spending my time here. In fact, I had no plans of coming here at all. She left me and my people to die. I didn't think I would ever be able to forgive her, and I'm still not sure I have." Clarke shook her head. Talking to a baby, she thought. That was, well, ineffective. Clarke turned her attention to the window, looking out over the city as it quieted. Windows in every home shone with candlelight. The whole town seemed to hold a soft glow. A breeze blew in from the window and Clarke carefully pulled the blanket around Amira. It was then Amira started to cry. Clarke sat panic ridden. What was she going to do?
"Amira, what do you need?" Clarke begged, gently bouncing the baby in her lap. Standing, Clarke began to pace the length of the room cradling the infant, trying her best to avoid the large amount of Candles left aglow on the floor. Clarke remembered seeing mothers on the arc using their pinky fingers to calm a cranky baby. Gently, Clarke placed her pinky finger against Amira's lips. Amira locked on and silence filled the room. Clarke sighed in relief.
Clarke was startled by the door opening. Lexa entered, followed by to two guards carrying a large crib. "Place that over by my bed," Lexa instructed. The guards moved to a table on the opposite side of the room and sat it down.
"What is that?" Clarke asked, gesturing slightly to the large jug in Lexa's hand.
"It's milk mixed with powdered rice. It's for Amira to eat." Clarke nodded. Just then a grounder woman entered the room.
"Heda, I brought you some diapers and some clothing for the child." Lexa thanked the women and the guards escorted her out. Lexa smiled at Clarke who held a now sleeping Amira.
"It seems you did alright by yourself." Clarke nodded.
"Do you want me to lay her down?"
"Yes, come with me." Lexa moved swiftly, leading Clarke to the new crib. The crib was made out of a light wood. The top and bottom rose up high over a cotton mat which lay at the bottom and was soft to the touch. Clarke gently laid Amira down, running her hand along the side of the crib. Lexa too ran her hand along the crib. The two women's hands bumped against each other and they both turned to each other.
"I got you something, Clarke," Lexa whispered, moving to the door and picking up a leather bag. She handed it to Clarke. Clarke sat down on the steps nearest the commander's throne. Opening the flap, Clarke pulled out a small sketchpad, some charcoal, and paints in every color.
"Lexa, these are amazing," Clarke gushed in awe. Lexa smiled.
"I'm glad you like them." Silence filled the room for a few minutes while the two just watched each other.
"I should probably head back to my room then, I guess," Clarke whispered, getting up slowly and grabbing the bag Lexa had given her. Lexa nodded as Clarke moved to the door, sad to see her go. Clarke stopped at the doorway and turned, her hand still on the frame. "Goodnight Lexa," she offered shyly.
"Goodnight Clarke."
Lexa sighed, moving to look through the clothing that had been brought. She gently unfolded and refolded each item. Lexa was especially fond of a light blue jumper and a cream woolen hat, so she sat those aside to put Amira in the next day. She placed the rest of the clothing in a small trunk which she sat down next to the crib. The room slowly filled with small whimpers. Lexa moved over to the crib where she was hit with a foul odor.
"Well, Amira, at the very least we know you are healthy." Lexa picked up the crying infant and placed her on the bed where she changed the girl's diaper. Holding Amira in her arms, Lexa threw the spoiled cloth diaper in a covered basket so it could be washed later. From there, Lexa moved all around the room gently rocking the baby in her arms. Finally, Lexa collapsed in her throne. She looked down at the innocent baby in her arms, finding bright green eyes peering back at her.
"I promise I will find your mom, and if not, I will always take care of you," Lexa swore to the child, gently running the back of her index finger over the child's cheek as Amira fell asleep. Placing Amira back in her crib, Lexa changed into a nightgown. She then rinsed off her face. However, Amira had other plans and began screaming. Lexa groaned but swiftly toweled off her wet face and picked up Amira. "You must be hungry, little one."
Spirits help me, Lexa hoped no one was in earshot to hear her be so sickeningly affectionate. Lexa carefully poured the milk into a glass bottle. She twisted on the cap and placed it in Amira's mouth. Lexa then sat down in Clarke's previous seat by the window. Sighing, she was suddenly engulfed in the Clarke's unique smell. It was a mix between lavender and crisp fall air and it was intoxicating to the brunette. It didn't take long for Amira to down the bottle. Lexa gently burped her before placing the child in the crib. She sighed as she realized the sun was beginning to rise. Lexa lay down, praying she would be able to get an hour or two of sleep before she would need to attend any form of meetings. And as Lexa closed her eyes, she envisioned her life with Amira, and hopefully Clarke. For the first time in years, Lexa fell asleep happy.
