"Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a prince of such beauty shining on the outside, but so much hate, and darkness on the inside. He never saw what was right in front of him, until it was too late. Can our daring prince win the maidens heart and save the da-"

"Wait a minny-mo-jim-jam, it's too early in the morning for jaffa cakes, you don't half waffle on! Anyway, hurry up talking to yourself, Mr Grumpy up there wants his dinner."

"Dinner for ONE."

"gggggrrrrr" Came from the West Wing.

"Oh boohoo! I should be the one complaining, Alice just gave me a make-over!"

A high pitched giggle could be heard. "You're welcome Laura!"

"Fuck off, Pixie."

"I thought Tinkerbell went into hiding?"

"No no, that was me. Getting my own back. Toodles!" She walks out the door, and not two seconds later, pops her head back in.

"Pst, Ellie! She's coming, isn't she?! You only talk to yourself in situations like this!" She whispers.

"Of course she's coming. I told you this day would come. We just need to make sure he doesn't fuck it up." Ellie starts cleaning the kitchen. SOME people in this house still need to eat.

"But I thought we weren't allowed to interfere??" Says Laura, badly trying to imitate her friend.

"Oh, shut up. Go and annoy someone else."

"Hey, EMMETT!! JASPER!! PLAY PONIES WITH ME!!" and off she skips.

Ellie sighs, and looks towards the ceiling. The Master was upstairs. Closing her eyes, her vision transfers to where he paced. Her bronze-haired Master was circling the rose, muttering with a frustrated look on his face. Closing her eyes again, her whole body disappears from downstairs and re-appears next to the rose.

"You know, she might not be as far away as you think." Says Ellie, placing her hand on his back. He hisses and pulls away.

"What are you talking about? Who?"

"You know who I mean. The one you are looking for. The one who will turn you human."

He sighs. Time's running out, El, isn't it?

"Yes. The rose is starting to wilt."

"God, I'm so stupid! I should've just talked myself into loving Alice or Rosalie. Or you-"

"Woah there! Don't you pay attention? True love. That's what you need. Not pretending to fall in love. You're looking for when your heart skips a beat just by thinking about them. You need someone who makes you want to change back so you can be better for them, not for yourself!" She sighs. After all these years, he still didn't understand the whole 'love' concept.

"Well, how am I supposed to know?! I've never been in love before! That's the whole point of this, surely you remember that!" He spits, accusingly.

"Of course I remember. You need to understand why I did it though, Edward." She pleads.

"Ok. Fine. Explain that night to me from your point of view."

(Flashback)

"Oh come on Ellie! How bad can he be really? So he's selfish and vain. What princes his age aren't? Just leave him alone." Whined Laura, as she followed me into the woods and towards the castle.

"It matters, because he will soon be King and in control of all these people, and with a heart as cold as his, they will all perish before long. Someone has to snap him out of his bubble. And we have to be ugly to do it." I say, grimacing slightly.

"Oh, yay!!! Can I be a hobo? Maybe I should shave half of my hair off. Hmm... OR! I could do that thing where my eyes, like, come right out of their sockets. Wanna see?!?!"

"Not particularly."

"Oh. I see."

For once there seemed to be a beat of silence, when-

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"Oh for fucks sake, shut up! Yes, we'll be there in ten minutes. Actually, now might be a good time for our disguises." I said, and whipped out a wand. Waving it over the both of us, we turned into ugly old hags. I even gave Laura only one eye, just because I love her really.

"Wow, I look SO cool!!" She said, properly impressed. I rolled my eyes and started walking again. Great. Why did I give myself a limp?? After what turned into more like fifteen minutes walking, we came to a massive iron gate. It looked terrifying, but it was not for security. It wasn't even locked! It was for the prince to show off, and for that reason, I transformed it into a pathetic picket fence, just because I could.

"Ok Laura. Show-time. If he's as cold-hearted as I know he is, he'll turn his nose up at us. Don't say anything 'cute', 'funny' or 'troublesome'- wait, on second thoughts, don't talk at all. Can you do that for me? Just look, what's the word, deep? Ok, go." I say, a thousand miles a minute. Laura opened her mouth to say something, but I gave her one of my 'looks' and she shut it again pretty quickly.

I knocked on the door and waited patiently. The door opened to reveal a devastatingly handsome man, dressed head to toe in gold and jewels. He looked once at us and snorted.

"And what do you want?" he sneered. His voice was perfect, though. Like velvet. I chanced a side-glance at Laura. She looked like she'd melted. Eyes glassy and a stupid smirk on her face. I rolled my eyes. Maybe I didn't need to say anything about her not talking. She seemed incapable anyway.

"Please, Your Highness, we've been travelling for days, and haven't eaten in so long. You wouldn't be so kind as to lend us a room for the night? We won't be a bother." I said. I was impressed with myself, thought I sounded pretty convincing.

He actually laughed.

"A room? In my castle? For a couple of beggars? I don't think so!" And he went to close the door. I stopped him by offering the beautiful rose I had hidden under my cloak.

"Last chance, Charming." I said, slightly sarcastically. "I'll give you the rose as a reward."

He laughed again.

"I have a Rose, thanks." He turned and grabbed a gorgeous blonde maid from around the waist.

"Edward Masen,-" I stormed. Shit, I hope I don't sound like his mother.

"It's Prince Edward Masen, actually. To you." He said, cutting me off with a smirk and a fucking wink. Ok. He did it. He went way too far!

I heard Laura's quiet, "Ooooohhhhh." From behind me as my temper rose. Time for the grand finale.

I took out the wand and waved it over us both, the hags falling away. We are enchantresses, after all. Not exactly ugly. Edward's face was in awe of what he'd just witnessed. If I could, I'd laugh.

"Edward Masen," Ha! No correction this time, Your Highness?! "Your selfishness and vanity have turned you into a monster, so I will accent this. You will become the most beautiful creature this world has ever seen. You will also be the most terrifying. Never again will you leave this castle. Never again will you have a heart-beat," By this point, his shocked body had begun to rise, light shining off him as he changed. "You will be as cold and hard as your dead heart. You will be a monster, a bloodsucker, a killer. Your eyes will turn red, a shocking colour, as proof to what you are." I spat. Hey, I was pretty good at this! I turned to Laura, nodding to her. She should be able to have some fun, after all.

"Every living creature in this house will also lose their humanity. You will be immortal and trapped for all eternity. Unless..." and she trailed off. I looked at her confused. "Dramatic" she mouthed, with a wink. I snorted.

"Unless? Unless WHAT??!!" He roared. At this point, he fell and landed in a heap on the floor. I walked over and gently picked him up and placed him on his feet.

"Unless you can learn how to love." She finished gently. "You have twenty years. Until the last petal of this rose falls. Failing to do so, you will be a monster. Forever."