Darcy always had this way of knowing what people to trust. She had gone against her instincts with her last boyfriend, and he ended up being an abusive son of a bitch. Darcy had enough self esteem to just leave, but she had learned to trust her instincts. And her instincts were being weird about the man across the coffee shop. They weren't saying to trust him, more that he was… a kindred spirit.

She tried to ignore it, because why the hell would she approach some dude randomly. Not cool, internal voices. Not cool. So instead she did the probably less cool thing and stared at him, the paper she was typing all but forgotten.

There was something… off about him. Darcy wasn't sure what was up with him, but he most certainly was not human. What was really confusing is why something that felt so powerful would be eating a hot fudge sundae.

She tried to focus on writing her paper - she really did. Then, when she was looking down at her laptop (trying to keep the pretense of writing) the guy she had been staring at slid into the seat across from her. Oh shit, she probably pissed him off. Or he thought she was interested. But no.

"Care to explain the staring?"

"You confuse the voices in my head." Darcy deadpanned, half-hoping the man would decide she was too weird and leave.

The man laughed. "I like you. So, really, what's up with the staring? Because, I mean, I'm great, but most people don't notice."

"There's something off about you." She eyed him warily. "The voices are never wrong, and they've never been confused before."

He snapped in realisation and pointed at her. "That's what's up with you! You're a low-level psychic!"

"… What."

"Some people have psychic powers, yours are relatively weak, but they're enough to notice I'm not human."

"I don't know how to respond to that. You do you, bud." Darcy got up from her seat, put her laptop away, and left the coffee shop, hoping that since she talked to the man she could focus on her paper now.

"Well, just one question before I go." Darcy turned around to see the man had followed her. Her instincts and the voices were telling her to be on guard, but also that he's a good person. Mentally cursing the voices for being so confusing today, she stopped walking and let the man finish what he was going to say (also because Mama Lewis didn't raise no fool, Darcy didn't want to upset the confusing non-human). "Do you know any assholes who need something coming to them?" He smiled, and it was only mildly reassuring. Darcy narrowed her eyes.

"Why? What are you planning?"

"Just desserts. My plans depend on how terrible they are."

"No killing, maiming, or scarring, physical and mentally." Darcy gave her terms.

"Mentally scarring is the most fun though!" The man whined, slumping his shoulders and swinging his arms slightly. He was actually a child, wasn't he?

"Just don't do anything that will cause them to need a therapist."

"Fine." With that said, Darcy took a piece of paper out of her bag and held it out to the man,

"I'll hold you to this, I don't want people getting hurt because of me." She threatened.

"Is this a hit list? I'm liking you more and more."

"No, but if I see someone being an ass, I get their information and look up their facebook, find their mother and tell her. I have to write it out to keep it all straight."

"Why not just go to the cops?" the man asked.

"Prison has just become a place to throw people that might have done bad things, it's not reformatory anymore. Calling their parents and having the asshole get a dressing-down, that works."

"You are my new favorite human." the man said. "And I've met Captain America." Darcy looked him up and down.

"Sure, Jan,"

"Jan?"

"Do you even use the internet?"

"I'm a centuries-old being with amazing powers, why would I need to internet?"

"There are a bunch of asshats online you could intimidate into not being asshats."

"I'm in."


When a week later, her (abusive) ex stopped by her door crying, Darcy was… not happy, but content. She had, of course, turned him down (with prejudice). An hour later, the mystery not-human showed up.

"Hey there! I told you, just desserts. By the way, I'm Coyote." The voices, once again, had mixed opinions, some said that he is technically the Native American god, while others said that the name was not his true one, and he was still lying.

"Darcy." Darcy said. "So, what's the confusing not-human called Coyote doing in my living room?"

"You're interesting. Most people are simply sheep." He shrugged, before eating a piece of hard candy.

"Considering coyotes eat sheep, I'm glad."

He laughed for a moment. "I didn't even realize that! Clever."

"So, you've met Captain America?"

"Well, not met, but I have seen him around a few times, he had so much righteous fury in his soul, it's second only to you."

"Soul? A Native American Trickster deity can see souls?" 'Coyote' winced.

"You really are clever. Gabriel."

"Gabriel what?"

"The Archangel."

There was a moment of silence, then:

"The fucking Messenger of God emotionally shattered my ex-boyfriend. Hell yes."

"You're taking this rather well." the motherfucking Archangel noted.

"I've always been 'special', man. I get weird feelings about people, places. The fact that there's more out there is… reassuring. I'm not as weird as some people. Like, a Native American Trickster turning out to be a fucking Angel of the Lord."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, when an idea occurred to Darcy

"Does this mean I can cite you in arguments!? I'm never going to lose again. I can just say 'my Angel friend said so' and they can't dispute that!" Darcy flopped onto her pitiful couch, having had stood when the idea struck her.

"As great as that sounds, it makes you sound like one of those religious nutjobs."

"Dude, I've walked a goat around campus for a week, no one will be surprised."

"Yeah but- wait a goat?"

"My sister went on a vacation and needed someone to watch her goat." Darcy explained

"You are one of the best humans I've ever had the privilege of meeting."

"Hell yeah, I'm awesome."

"Well, if you ever find another jerk who needs to be knocked down a peg or two, just call." Offered Gabriel the Archangel/Coyote the Native American Trickster god. "I won't kill them, I promise." he added, noticing how his new friend was looking at him.

"I don't have your phone number."

"I'm an Angel, kiddo, pray to me. But make sure you address it to me, or else the entire Heavenly Host will hear." Darcy nodded and smiled.


So, uh. I'm sorry for not updating for so long. My mother has been in and out of the hospital for the last month because of fluid in the lining of her heart, and we don't know why. Then there was band camp, which was made so painful because I have AMPS (basically I'm in constant pain). So everything has been stressful and I haven't had much of a chance to write because I'm busy helping my mom. So I'm really sorry, and I'm going to try to write more. On a happier note, I both celebrated my birthday and saw the new Spider-man movie (I loved it). Let's hope more happy things happen (like seeing our section leader Jake in a wedding dress) and I hope you all have a great day! Thank you if you're still reading this, and you are all amazing.

~Ace