Rey tossed and turned in her bed, beads of sweat dotting her forehead. Ever since she had fought Kylo in the snowy forest, she could never get good sleep. She was always groggy in the morning and wide awake at night. When she thought about it, she slept more peacefully in her home in Jakku. Rey was happy to have found a family in Finn, Poe, Leia, and Han, but she sometimes longed for the comfort, familiarity, and routine of her old life. She was thrown into her new life so rapidly that she didn't have any time to say goodbye to her old one. She still had numerous questions that were unanswered, but she figured that if she was patient enough, the answers would come to her one way or another.
Her new life was too important and busy for goodbyes anyway.
Rey rolled onto her side to look out of her small window. It was almost morning, the creamy colors of the sunrise almost touching the planet. She let out a soft groan, burying her face in her pillow.
Kylo's face and his words haunted her dreams nearly every night now. He had made promises to her that touched her deepest desires, but the stronger part of her knew they were lies. He said he could show her the Force, which meant he would be her teacher. She rejected it initially on the spot, but why did she feel like that wasn't such a foreign thought?
When Kylo took off his helmet for the first time, she recognized him, but where from? It was times like these where she felt most vulnerable and she wanted to demand answers to these questions. She still didn't know who or where her family was . . . she was missing a vital part of who she was. The least she could know was why she felt like she had known the boy behind the mask for nearly her entire life.
Rey turned onto her other side, her cheek hot against the cool pillow. She was tired of thinking . . . no. She was tired of questioning everything. Yawning, her eyes drooped shut and she let her mind travel off to Jakku. But it didn't stay there for too long.
Rey padded nervously outside of Ben's room, her hands behind her back. It was late-way past her bedtime-but she snuck out of her room. She had to see Ben or she wouldn't be able to sleep if she didn't know he was okay. She didn't even know if he was still there.
She had overheard from some of the other Padawans that he hadn't been showing up to training and that he had been keeping to himself a lot more. Throughout the week, Rey had been dying to catch his attention to raise rocks with their minds or to play out on the grass with him. Every time she approached him, he would tell her that they would play another day. Rey was disappointed, but she wouldn't give up.
She took in a small gasp of surprise when the door opened, revealing Ben in the doorway. He had grown some more, his limbs not as gangly and awkward. His hair was long to cover up his ears and his wide forehead. The haircut suited him and she knew it gave him some relief from the relentless taunting. Rey had grown herself, but she would never be as tall as him. He towered over the rest of the Padawans, but she could tell he liked it. His height physically gave him more power over the others.
"Rey," Ben breathed, his eyes wide with surprise as well. He nervously looked into his room and reached to close the door, but Rey was quicker than him.
Peeking inside, she saw a couple of figures, but they all wore masks she had never seen before. They looked menacing to the young girl, but she knew that that was the point. They all had lightsabers by their sides and they stood in an uneven circle. Rey could tell they were talking, but their words were indistinct. She could also tell something was up and that it wasn't good.
Ben knelt down, placing his hand on her arm. "You shouldn't be here right now. It's late and not a good time. You could get hurt."
Rey nodded her head obediently, her gaze shyly meeting his. His skin was pale and he had dark circles under his eyes, making it look like he hadn't slept in a long time. Rey was immediately concerned.
"So you could you." Rey responded and she rested her hand on his cheek.
Ben let out a long sigh and pushed his cheek into her touch, his eyes flickering closed. He didn't know how she could say simple yet sage phrases like that to him at such a young age. For some reason, the way Rey treated him reminded him of his mother, which made him feel ashamed.
Her statement was moot because he already had been hurt-deeply. Rey could feel he was in so much pain. Something had happened to him that Rey was unaware of and she knew she couldn't do anything about it. Games and small training sessions with him would no longer help. To Rey's disappointment, those days were over.
Ben's eyes opened again and he removed his hand from her cheek, holding it in his big hands. Blue veins spread out underneath his skin like the small rivers on the planet.
"Rey, you have to promise me something."
"What? What is it?" She furrowed her eyebrows, taking a step closer towards him like she usually would when he had a secret.
"In a couple of hours, I'm going to do something dangerous, but you have to promise me that you'll hide and don't come out until I'm gone."
The first emotion Rey felt was anger. Master Luke taught her that those types of emotions led to the Dark Side of the Force, but she didn't care. Not right now. Not only was her best friend going to put himself in danger, but he was going to leave her as well? He was so selfish, so careless! How could he do this to her?
She paused as she thought about it some more. No, Rey thought, he was being careful. At least with her. His warning was cryptic and she didn't know if she should tell Master Luke about it. She didn't want Ben to get into trouble, though.
Rey nodded her head slowly, trying to fight off the tears she could feel forming in her eyes. Jedi don't cry . . . or maybe only Padawans were allowed to?
"Ben, you have to promise me something." She placed her hands on his shoulders.
"Anything, Rey." She tried to swallow down the tightness she felt in her throat from fighting off the tears. Maybe Master Luke's lessons were working. She couldn't believe she was losing the only friend she had. She secretly hoped he thought the same.
"Don't get hurt, okay?" Rey's eyebrows rose with her question. Ben let out a rare chuckle and she nodded his head once.
"I promise I won't get hurt." His chuckle managed to make her feel slightly better, but she knew that feeling wouldn't last long. Taking a chance, Rey reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. Her lips formed a small smile when she felt his arms wrap around her back.
That was better than any promise he could make.
