Another version of my Breaking Dawn Parody, I re-wrote it because I've thought up some funnier stuff. And flamers that flamed my New Moon one... f'ck you! I don't care what you think!
Like?
Location: La Push
Jacob: What I miss, since I'd pissed off to god knows where to sulk because I'm jealous of my best friend's fiancee?
Sam: Um... Bella went on her honeymoon.
Jacob: I know, I was at the Wedding, and I made Bella cry.
AnnieCullen: You know what... I really have nothing to say to that.
Jacob: Why?
AnnieCullen: Because I hate you both.
Leah: (From behind a bush) I hate them both, too.
AnnieCullen: Leah, I see no 'Team Leah' t-shirts anywhere, so go away.
Jacob: Back to the real converstation, what did I miss?
Sam: Bella returned. And Charlie said that she was 'Ill'.
Jacob: (Breaks down crying) I was too late! She's a vampire and I'll never marry her!
AnnieCullen: You stupid morons, she isn't a vampire yet.
Sam and Jacob: You know something.
AnnieCullen: I do, indeed.
Jacob: Can we please know?
Sam: You'd make a crap Alpha, you need to be more forceful.
Jacob: I don't hit girls, Sam, even if they are... wearing a Team Edward shirt.
Sam: No! I mean like this (Holds up RPattz photo)
AnnieCullen: (Eyes widen) Oh my... (Drools)
Sam: Now tell us the secret.
AnnieCullen: She...she...is....
Sam: Yes?
AnnieCullen: (Slaps Sam and disappears)
Jacob: Forceful, Sam?
Sam: Shut up.
----
Location: Cullen House.
Edward: (Emo face)
AnnieCullen: (Appears) Hi Everyone!
Edward: (Emo-er Face)
AnnieCullen: Oh cheer up, if it helps- (Takes off jacket and reveals Team Edward shirt)- huh, huh?
Edward: Meh. Bella has one.
Bella: Yes I do.
AnnieCullen: Shush Mary-Sue.
Jasper: Um... her name is Bella.
AnnieCullen: (Sighs) A Mary-Sue is what we people of the FanFiction world call characters that are described way too much. For example-
Edward: OK we get it. (Emo Face)
Bella: So who's this Mary-Sue?
AnnieCullen: (Disappears)
Carlisle: (Runs in) I've got it! Bella's pregnant!
Rosalie: Reeeally, Carlisle?!
Carlisle: (Throws paper everywhere) Alice!
Alice: Don't look at me, just because I can see the future you automatically assume it's me that told?!
Everyone: Uh... Yeah.
Alice: That hurts.
AnnieCullen: (Appears) How dare you upset Alice, the best Character Twilight... or Stephanie Meyer created!
Alice: I'm not a character.
AnnieCullen: I'm defending you, aren't I?
Alice: Sorry but... WAIT! I'm 109, I can defend myself! (Has Vision) Oh wait... no I can't, continue.
AnnieCullen: Thank-you... (Sits down)
Alice: Defend me, then.
AnnieCullen: I have nothing left to say. Anyway, Jacob's going to be coming soon. (Dog Bark) Oh, here he is.
Jacob: (Runs in) Wassup!? (Sees AnnieCullen) Oh god. Not you again.
AnnieCullen:Yes, me again.
Jasper: How did you even get here? We keep the door locked in case Buffy comes.
AnnieCullen: I got in... through my keyboard. (Holds up Keyboard)
Jasper: O...K
AnnieCullen: How did Jacob get in then?
Jacob: Uh, door was open. Said 'Come on in if your not Buffy'.
----
Location: Bella's Womb
Renesmee: Nom nom nom nom. My Mother's skin tastes Lovely. I love her voice. She's pretty. (Touches Womb Wall)
Bella: (Outside Womb, Obviously) Oh my god!
Edward: What! I'll get you demon baby!
Bella: No, I can see... ew!
Edward: What?
Bella: I can see... EJ chewing on my womb.
Renesmee: (In Womb) I'm a girl! I'M FREAKIN' FEMALE! (Smashes Ribs in anger)
Bella: (Ribs Crack) Oh. OW!
Edward: Naughty Demon Baby.
Jacob: Fix her Ribs!
AnnieCullen: Leave her Ribs!
Jacob: FIX!
AnnieCullen: LEAVE!
Alice: I'll sort this! (Has vision, but look constipated) We fix it.
Jacob: HA!
AnnieCullen: (Gets Breaking Dawn out)
Jacob: A Book?
AnnieCullen: Just checking off what's happened... Ribs... now its just the Pelvis and... oh...
Jacob: Oh?
Bella and Edward: Oh??
AnnieCullen: (Grins) I can't tell you. (Disappears)
Bella: After her, Edward.
Edward: I can only read minds! I can't freakin' do a magic act, too.
Alice: She'll be back.
Carlisle: See! It was her, you told them!
Alice: Drop it Carlisle, we all knew anyway.
Esme: Come on Carlisle, I'll get you some of that synthetic blood you like.
AnnieCulen: (Appears) Tru Blood?
Edward: RAWR!
AnnieCullen: Eeep! (Disappears)
Edward: (Falls out of window)
Jacob: Yes!
Edward: (From outside) I'm not dead, mongral.
Jacob: Damn! (Throws away wedding planner)
Lolololololololol! Maybe I'll include a few True Blood Characters in the next chapter... undecided. Remember, any ideas, feel free to tell me.
Love :)
Review, maybe?
