It'd been nine months. Nine long and depressing months during which Caitlin and Cisco were standing by dr. Wells's side, not leaving the Labs and on his request monitoring the young man in a coma who'd been struck by lightning the night of the particle accelerator explosion. So far, there'd been no change, but the constant tests Snow was running on the man showed that he had the metahuman gene and besides that, his cells could move so fast that when he'd still been in a hospital, the doctor there thought he kept on having a heart attack. It was truly a good thing that dr. Wells had done, Caitlin thought now as performing her routine check, that he'd taken him out of there. She wasn't sure for how long Barry Allen would survive where the people working on him had no idea what was really going on with him. Well, Snow did, but even she and her team were groping in the dark since so far they'd only dealt with metahumans in theory, not having the resources to actually locate and catch them all, not to mention reform.

Dr. Wells… he was just another story entirely, Caitlin thought, biting on her lower lip when looking over Allen's blood tests results; a gesture she used to do a lot when she was deep in thoughts or troubled. She had no idea how she would've even survived those past nine months if it hadn't been for dr. … well, Harrison as he insisted on her calling him since all those dramatic evens had brought them closer. Or maybe not closer per se. The thing was that Caitlin felt both eternally grateful to have him there to help her get through the toughest time in her life and guilty for having… Well, ok, so she did have feelings for the man. She'd actually had a crush on him when he'd recruited her that she quickly forgotten about, pushing it to the dark recesses of her mind – or maybe rather heart? – and after Ronnie's death all of that resurfaced, becoming twice as strong.

The thing was that Harrison never said or did anything to make her think this might be more than just one-sided. Though she couldn't help but keep coming back in her memory to all those times when Ronnie had been clearly jealous of her boss. Back then she'd only laughed at – as it seemed – ridiculous accusations, but now she wasn't so sure anymore. Ronnie was never the jealous type. He never felt threatened by any man that tried to hit on his girlfriend, yet, that always changed whenever dr. Wells was around. Maybe he simply knew he should be worried about that.

Caitlin shook her head, feeling terribly guilty, yet, again. Because she said yes to the man. Ronnie asked her to marry him and she said yes, so she was going to marry him and here she was, nine months after his death, actually feeling as though some gravitational force had been pulling her towards Harrison ever since she'd met her boss.

Still, there was no way she was gonna make the first step. If Harrison rejected her… that would just be mortifying. Maybe they were long past that point anyway as during those last few months he'd had to adjust to a completely new life style. In the course of one night Harrison Wells became a pariah as people turned away from him, deemed him a fallen hero or maybe even villain and just like that his glorious career was over. Caitlin and Cisco could've left, they could've gone to Mercury Labs that was eagerly hiring any S.T.A.R. Labs leftovers, knowing scientists found and hired by Wells were far better than their own. Yet, those two stayed behind. Caitlin wasn't entirely sure whether her reason was simply loyalty, compassion or maybe there was something more there, something that just wouldn't let her leave Harrison's side. Especially not after she herself lost everything. Not after he not only lost his career, the thing that he'd been building his entire life, but also the ability to walk. She saw how frustrating it was for him to move now in an electric wheelchair, how demeaning asking for help at first was before he got the hang of it himself. Yet, she never saw him outside of the Labs, she was never there when he needed to get from that chair to his bed or go to the bathroom or simply grocery shopping. Of course she wasn't. She was his employee, not a life partner. Still… the fact that he was incapacitated now changed nothing for her. If so, she only cared for him more and desperately wanted him to just be happy, feeling like a failure when she couldn't make it happen.

She didn't really understand Cisco's reason for staying, but was grateful for his presence all the same. If he'd left, Harrison might've thought there was more to Caitlin's decision than just blind loyalty. Maybe in the end good old Cisco knew there would never be a place for him at Mercury Labs that he would actually feel comfortable in, his only friend being Caitlin who'd saved him from some pretty nasty remarks thrown by his new co-workers his very first day at work. He was a few years younger than she was and therefore she always treated him like a brother she never had. And he might be treating dr. Wells like a father that was actually there. Though Snow wasn't sure how she felt about that in particular.

"Anything new?" she heard a voice coming from the door and she jumped, nearly dropping the vial of blood she was holding in her hand.

"Dr. Wells," she said in a startled voice, gently putting the piece of glass aside, "you scared me."

"I didn't mean to. And what did I say about calling me that?" he asked then, sighing heavily as he looked at her.

The power of his gaze was so strong that she wondered whether he always affected people with those piercing radiant eyes or was it just her. Probably the latter. God, she was so long gone that maybe she really should leave and try to pick all the pieces of her life and heart on her own. Then again, she knew there was really no leaving for her. Not right now. Not at this point.

"Harrison," she corrected herself quickly, feeling her heart rate elevating and finally diverting her eyes because she couldn't stand this azure stare anymore. And he didn't even touch her, she thought, wondering how would that feel and then she forced herself to stop altogether. Because visions of his lips or his body for that matter were already haunting her in her dreams. She was really screwed, wasn't she? And she was heading straight to hell all the same for having those thoughts whereas technically, she should still be the grieving… Wait, she and Ronnie hadn't exactly got married, so she couldn't really call herself a widow, could she?

"All the same," she finally answered Harrison's question. He was just opening his mouth to say something and her eyes settled there when… Cisco called out to them through the comms, needing them in the cortex.

"Guys, I swear, his heartbeat got a little irregular there," Cisco was just saying when pointing at Barry who was still in a coma.

"Caitlin, why don't you check it out? I'll be in my lab if you need me," Harrison just said and Snow actually welcomed the distraction.

She purposefully walked towards the machine Barry was hooked up to and checked the readings.

"Well, you might be right there…" she murmured, directing those words to Cisco.

"So, what's up with you two?" he suddenly asked when biting on a candy and she stilled.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you and the coma guy. Come on! Of course I mean you and dr. Wells! There's been way too much awkward tension between you two those last few months and it's only growing worse. What's up?"

"I… I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Cait, your poker face is just terrible," her younger friend decided and then he hit the computer and she actually heard that song going through the speakers.

"Seriously?" she asked him when turning away from immobile form of Barry Allen when…

He just woke up.

"Oh, my God!" Cisco screamed, startled.


Barry waking up brought an awakening to all of them, actually. It was as though so far they'd just existed, moved around the abandoned and quiet Labs like ghosts, waiting for something or maybe someone to help them even though it should be the other way around. And he did. He really did.

One moment he was just a normal guy in a coma and the next he woke up and discovered he had superpowers. What more, it was speed. He could move incredibly fast, also heal faster than anyone Caitlin had ever seen, still getting dizzy every time she checked his medicals. Because this just wasn't possible. This was against all the laws of physics and medicine and biology, yet, it was happening.

Just like that, they all started to actually smile, still being at awe with what Barry could do. Even dr. Wells… Harrison smiled, somehow waking up from his stupor and forgetting for just a few moments that he was bound to a wheelchair whereas this young man he'd decided to help all those months ago, could move faster than anything that existed. Caitlin was actually worried there at first, thinking it might be just too much, that it would be painful for Harrison to see Barry run that fast whereas he couldn't even move the normal speed, but she quickly saw that it wasn't the case. Wells was just happy that his failure with the particle accelerator led to something good this time. Snow still kept on reminding him that it wasn't just his failure, that lots of people worked on it all the same, but he didn't seem to listen.

One thing was clear – Barry brought life back to the team and they finally felt like they were doing their job for a reason again and somehow that reason became far greater than just science. They were saving people, making this city a better place.


After a few very busy weeks as they were trying to establish a routine with Barry constantly running into danger to either save someone or capture the newest metahuman, Caitlin found herself being kidnapped.

Luckily for her, Cisco and Joe got to her in time while Barry faced the two criminals that wanted to expose him. All ended well with the criminals taken care of and Barry being outed to the world, yes, but as the Flash, the newest superhero of the city rather than by revealing his true identity. Iris even wrote a glorifying article about it, officially naming him and all was back to normal.

Well, all except the fact that Caitlin had only managed to keep herself busy those last few weeks because there was really too much to be done and she barely even had the time to sleep, much less to think about a certain doctor who kept haunting her dreams even when she was awake. That started all over again when she was taken, thinking she might actually die. So far she hadn't really cared about her own life, to be honest. She'd lost a good and uncomplicated guy, a complete opposite to the one she was now apparently pining after; her career was in ruins with no means of ever getting it back and becoming the glorious and successful scientist she'd dreamt of. She didn't even have much of a family, but exactly that started to change. She realized she did have something and someone to live for and that was her work at S.T.A.R. Labs – even though she'd never imagined it becoming this – and the team. She loved all those guys as her own family and she couldn't bear the thought of abandoning them. What more, she wanted to at least one more time look into those blue eyes of the one person she felt most for.

Now she finally had that chance, but still, as the danger was over and she knew she would live for at least a few more days – hah-hah, she thought – she once again didn't have the courage to face Harrison Wells and tell him what she felt.

Because he might reject her. Because she was usually closed off and cold and could never ever in a million years make the first step even when her life depended on it.

And just then, when she was ready to pick her stuff and finally head home, doubting she'd even fall asleep after such an eventful day; the door to her lab swung open, revealing no one else but Harrison.

"Oh, you're still here," she said just to start the conversation.

He didn't speak, instead he just drove over to her desk and stopped so close she could actually smell his cologne and she found herself liking it. It was delicate, yet manly and decisive.

"I… Honestly, I just wanted to make sure you're all right," he finally said, for some reason avoiding her eyes.

"I'm fine. Really. Cisco and Joe got to me in time."

He wanted to tell her how it was killing him that he couldn't just speed off to that place and save her. It would out him to the team way too soon and his plan would be left in shreds. He still marveled at what this one seemingly insignificant to history woman was doing to him and was so tired of fighting his feelings. All the time when she'd been gone, he'd been getting out of his mind with worry, thinking about how he would feel if he lost her and that thought was truly unbearable, leaving him confused since he'd never before in his life cared for someone this way.

"But are you all right?" he repeated, finally raising his eyes to meet hers and she felt overly hot and uncomfortable under the power of his gaze.

"Yes, yes I am," she assured him. "Really."

He sighed and then he swept the glasses off of his face, rubbing at his eyes incessantly before saying in a ragged voice, "Never do that to me again."

"Pardon?" she asked, taken off track by his sudden nervousness. "Harrison, are you…?" Great, she thought, now she would ask him whether he was all right and they would just continue this strange dance they'd started she didn't even remember when, just going round and round in a circle.

"All this time..." he began and stopped, his hand now over his eyes before he finally took it away and faced her, glasses left forgotten on the table. "All this time you were gone I couldn't think of anything else but getting you back. It was unprofessional and it could've cost the team a grand mistake, but I just couldn't help it."

Her lips parted as she gasped, not believing her own ears what she just heard coming from him. She did notice his eyes steering down to the direction of said lips all the same before going up and meeting her eyes again.

"I couldn't bear the thought of losing you today, Caitlin," he finally whispered in confession and that was it, she thought, not able to breathe anymore. This was the end of them going in a circle. This was him breaking that cycle and actually doing something about it.

He shifted his eyes to her hand as he reached his own to cover it, the touch of his skin so innocent, yet so burning.

"I guess I just wanted to say I'm really glad you're ok," he finally added whereas she was still speechless and then their eyes met again and she saw fire igniting in his that responded to her own. "God, I'm really gonna regret this, aren't I?" he suddenly asked and before she knew it, he was leaning forward and she could feel the electricity hanging in the air, the nervous anticipation before he kissed her. First she felt his nose touching the side of hers as though he was checking how well they would fit together before he finally pressed his lips to her in a soft, yet such a powerful kiss.

She forgot her own name at that touch, only able to feel him, his breath on her face, that intoxicating smell, the heat coming off of his body and the hand that landed on her cheek soon after, the fingers caressing her skin there gently as he kissed her.

It was only when she actually kissed him back, opening her lips and tasting him the way she'd been dreaming of all those months, that he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers briefly, his breath heavy.

And then the glasses ware taken from the table and she heard the electric hum of his chair before she finally managed to open her eyes and find him already gone.

She was incapable of any movement, shocked and in the same time exhilarated by what just happened. She wished she could've stopped him somehow, called after him but when she opened her mouth, nothing came out of it.


AN: I don't know if what I suffer from right now can be called writer's block since I am perfectly capable of writing once I start a chapter. It's just a struggle. Anyway, I hope it will pass and in the meantime, I will keep on struggling. Ah;/ Tough the good news is I figured out what the next chapter will be about, so… hopefully less struggling?

I looked up the original comic book Caitlin Snow and found out that she was working for dr. Stein and was in love with him, but he rejected her, which caused her to try and commit suicide and she became Killer Frost as a result. That's terrible story of unrequited love for an older man, but still, I can't help but see that if Caitlin was already in love with an older professor in the comic book, she can be so in love with Harry now LOL