Operation Cupid Begins: Axe and Niri

"Mwhahaha, Operation Cupid is about to begin!" DJ smirked as he and Austin stood in his room as the musician dug through his closet of clothes, most of the outfits being nearly identical.

"You already said that…" Austin thought while watching his friend with a curious look. He watched DJ pull out two odd looking white outfits. "Here, put this on." He tossed the smaller one to Austin and began to change into his own. "Before we show everyone the true meaning of this day, we have to look the part." The musician chuckled as he slid on his shirt and jacket.

Meanwhile, Axe was walking around outside in the halls, still fairly full from his meat rack this morning, but his active stomach was already making room for his mid-morning snack. He stopped on his way to the kitchen as he heard rustling behind one of the doors. He thought to himself for a moment and muttered: "I will not eavesdrop, I will not eavesdrop, I will n- oh hell…" He put his ear up to the door and listened as he heard a voice.

"It does not look stupid Austin, these are the clothes of cupid! The great cherubim of love!" DJ's voice came through the door.

"What the hell…?" Axe turned the knob and walked into the room, eyes bugging out instantly at what he saw. DJ was in a stylish (if not a bit over the top) all white tuxedo, down to his shoes with a red rose at his lapel, but that wasn't the oddest thing, what really caught his attention was what Austin was wearing. The mute boy had on only two articles of clothing, one was a white sash with pink hearts on it, the other was a white diaper-looking loincloth. On his back was what seemed to be a bow and arrow. The lack of a shirt allowed his small angel-like wings to poke out nicely from his back. The captain blinked and tried not to bust out laughing, holding in a snicker, which earned him a glare from the cabin bow. "Kinky, you know he's underage and that's illegal, right Macleod?" He finally gave in and laughed loudly.

DJ huffed and also shot his captain a glare."Very funny, but nothing like that is going on here."

"Do I even want to know what's going on here?"

"No"

"Should I just keep walking then?"

"Would you?"

Axe shut the door, supressing the giggles as he continued to make his way to the kitchen. "A wise captain sees nothing, hears nothing, and writes everything down for blackmail later…"

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"Alright, now that we have our uniforms for the operation, it's time to begin planning." DJ smirked as he and Austin stood in an empty room of the ship, scribbling some notes on a piece of paper

"Don't mention the uniforms, baka…" Austin adjusted his diaper with a look of hate for the musician on his face.

"Alright, the first thing we need to do is plan our first set of targets, Dev seemed pretty upset but he's always moody, plus his will probably require the most work, so we'll save him till we have a bit more experience playing cupid." DJ kept writing on the piece of paper. "Which leaves… everyone else besides Kirsty-san and Devon… ah hell, let's just start with Niri and Axe…" The speedy swordsman sighed in defeat, holding his head from overanalyzing the situation. "Now, obviously we have to break through Axe's stone heart and even stonier head before we can get anywhere…" DJ bit his thumb in thought.

"Stonier?" Austin wrote, an eyebrow raised.

"Shut it, now what's the quickest way to Axe's heart… through his brain, of course!" The musician popped a finger up at his discovery.

"Don't you mean his stomach?" The cupid boy tapped the notepad he was writing on.

"His brain's in his stomach kid, believe me." Both of the males sweatdropped at the thought of their captain. "So, any ideas?"

"How bout a lunch break? I haven't eaten anything yet…"

"That's it!" DJ grinned again. "We'll make them a romantic lunch and make them think it was from each other! Then once they're there, they'll be so engrossed in the loving atmosphere, they'll just have to recognize Valentine's Day!" He chuckled to himself. "This plan is going so well, no one would be able to resist that, not even the world's greatest sharpshooter can escape cupid's arrow…" He smirked and held the rose from his lapel in a small pose. "To the kitchen!" DJ sped off in a flash, leaving Austin standing alone. The musician poked his head around the corner. "Austin, when I dramatically say 'to the kitchen!' you're supposed to follow me, to the kitchen!" Austin sighed and shrugged, begrudgingly following his elder.

"Grown-ups are so odd…"

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DJ rummaged through the refrigerator trying to find something to cook while Austin kept a lookout for Herman or anyone else who might see them and spoil the surprise.

"Why can't we just ask Herman to help us cook the lunch?" The cupid boy closed the door and watched as DJ pulled out a few racks of meat and some pasta.

"Because, if he helps us, then we have to tell him what we're doing, which would increase the chance of Niri or Axe finding out what we're doing which would ruin the surprise, esspecially if we want them to think they did this for each other." He set the meat on the table. "What? You don't think I can cook? I can cook damn fine thank you…"

"Well…" Austin sighed in resignation.

----one disaster area later…-------

"Well… the food came out okay…" DJ smiled warmly as he looked on the two well cooked pieces of meat on a bed of pasta. Austin however, was busy staring at the mess around him. While the food turned out alright, the kitchen was a mess, pots were dripping, scorch marks on the walls, water everywhere, blood (he didn't want to know who's) was running down the drain of the sink, rusted and burnt pots and pans were stacked up over his head and he swore he could smell singed flesh… but at least the food was okay.

"DJ!" Herman's voice came out from the deck, causing the musician and cabin boy to jump at least a foot each.

"Shit, we didn't get a chance to hide this!" DJ tried to cover up the mess and the food with his hands but could only obscure the view partially. He quickly sped out the door to meet the merman before he came in. "Yeah Herman? What's up? We're not plotting anything or anything like that, if that's what you're thinking. If you're thinking that then you're crazy and paranoid because we're not…" DJ blurted out, his eyes shifting from side to side as he looked nervously to the merman.

"Riiiiight… This note was on the deck for you." He held out a piece of paper with a logo on it. DJ raised an eyebrow curiously and took the paper, reading aloud.

"Dear Mr. Macloed, We are sorry we missed you, your shipment has been taken back to the station and we will attempt to deliver it again at our earliest convenience. Sincerely, Den Den Mushi Mail Ordering Services"

The musician rubbed his forehead with his palm. "Shit, they couldn't have just left it here? 'At our earliest convenience' huh? You know what that means…"

"You ain't getting whatever it is till next year if you're lucky…" The merman nodded. "What did you order anyway?"

"Some stuff for my Valentine's Surprise for Dusty-chan." DJ smirked softly. "But now it probably won't get done on time…" He sighed. "I'll just have to make due with the other stuff I have planned for her."

"Well, maybe a good lunch will cheer you up, just let me get into the kitchen and…"

"KITCHEN!? Herman wait!" Before DJ could stop him, the merman was in the kitchen, Austin had managed to hide the plates and clean some of the pots, but that didn't help their case much as to the messy room.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!?" The merman shouted, his eyestalk twitching.

"Well you see… what happened was… and then… RUN AUSTIN! RUN FOR YOUR PATEHTIC LIFE!" Both males took off down the hall, leaving twin trails of dust and cowardice behind them.

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After they had safely gotten away from Herman for the moment, the two cupids began to set their plan into motion. Austin set the table with a white tablecloth with the twin plates DJ had prepared and lit candles in three pronged candle holders while DJ forged notes to Axe and Niri, signed from the opposite person. "Heehee, this will show them how great Valentine's Day is, who knows? Maybe they'll even confess love for one other." DJ let out a small squee as he sealed the envelope and left them where the Captain and Sharpshooter could find them. "Are we all set Austin? Good job, looks very romantic." He smirked as the cabin boy gave a thumbs-up. "Now come on, we have to hide before Niri or Axe get here." The boys quickly ducked into a closet from which they could see the table and stay safely out of view while they waited for their unexpecting victims of love to arrive.

"I smell meat…" Axe muttered as he sniffed the air, the sounds of his shoes hitting the wooden floor reaching the two pseudo-cupids. "You tried to hide from me, but I've found you! You couldn't fool me!" The boys jumped as they thought they were caught, but they looked out the cracks of the door to see their captain dramatically pointing to the meat on the table. He obviously hadn't gotten the letter saying to come here and had just followed the smell of food. "I will finally defeat you! MEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAT!!!" The treasure hunter did a body slam onto the table, snapping all four legs and slamming it into the ground, breaking the candles and ripping the tablecloth as he tore ravenously into the carefully prepared meat.

Austin and DJ facefaulted, falling out of the closet and onto the floor of the room, remaining unnoticed by Axe, who was happily enjoying his feast. As their faces were near the wood, they could hear the sound of more footsteps approaching. "Hmm… wonder what this is about? Looks like someone forged Axe's handwriting." Niri walked into the room, holding the note DJ had written, eye twitching at the sight of Axe on the ground tearing into the meat racks. "What the hell is going on here?"

"This isn't how it was supposed to be…" DJ whined, getting up off the floor and dusting off his tuxedo, finally drawing the attention of the other two to him. "You weren't supposed to figure out the note was a fake, and you weren't supposed to be so…. Axe-ish…" The musician sighed in desperation. "I just wanted to show you guys how special Valentine's Day could be if you spent it with someone you love."

"LOVE!?" Axe and Niri shot death glares to the musician. "WE'RE JUST FRIENDS BAKA!" Both turned red with embarrassment and anger.

"But Valentine's Day is a holiday for friends too!" DJ defended. "It's just a special day that you can set aside to show someone how much you appreciate them, I hate to see an opportunity like that be wasted for two such good friends."

Niri sighed and shook her head. "Alright, I suppose Valentine's Day isn't all that bad, it is just one day after all, but don't expect me to get all mushy every day, got it?" Niri pointed her pistol at DJ, who nodded, shaking slightly.

"If it'll get you guys off my back, sure, I like Valentine's Day too, look Niri, free meat!" Axe grinned to the meat rack hanging out of his mouth. "Any day with free meat can't be totally bad!"

"… But for trying to set us up…" Niri cracked her knuckles.

"… You two are going to have to pay…" Axe grinned evilly as he cracked his neck.

"Austin?"

"Yeah DJ?"

"I have a baaaaad feeling about this…" DJ gulped and Austin nodded. "Would saying we're sorry for assuming you two were seeking to be involved help at all…?"

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"Apology accepted." Niri grinned as she and Axe walked away from the two, both laying on the ground, covered in bruises. "I think I like Valentine's Day after all…" The sharpshooter snickered.

"Wow Niri, you can really kick ass when you want to." The captain smirked, sounding impressed. "What was that thing you did with his spine?"

"Hehe, yeah Herman's been teaching me hand-to-hand..." She grinned. "You're not too bad in a beating yourself…"

"Mission Accomplished Austin…" DJ said wearily, rubbing the bumps on his head and arms as he stood up shakily and readjusting his tuxedo. "Now on to our next pair of lonely hearts, and maybe a bottle of iodine…"

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Niri smirked as and Axe continued down the hallway. "How stupid can you get? Everyone knows we're just friends." She smirked slyly.

"Yeah, bakas, doesn't take a genius."

"Although I sorta see their point, maybe a day to show people you care isn't too bad." She grinned, taking a step in front of Axe as they both stopped walking. She stepped up onto her tip-toes and gave the treasure hunter a small peck on the cheek. "Happy Valentine's Day Cap'n." She smirked again and strolled off as he was struck in awe.

Axe stood there for a moment before reaching a hand up to his cheek and smiling, shaking his head softly. "Man, I'm really starting to like this holiday…" His thought process was broken as he heard a scream echo through the wooden walls of the ship.

"DJ, AUSTIN!! WHERE ARE YOU!? GET BACK HERE AND CLEAN UP THIS KITCHEN!!!"

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Well there's those two, hope this one wasn't too crazy (in a bad way) hopefully the next couple will make up for it if it was though!

Next time on Operation Cupid:

Devon: I fricken hate Valentine's Day…

DJ: We must find the source of your heartache, why you're so defensive…

Kirsty: Huh? Devon wants to see me?

Testosterone boys and Harlequin girls: Devon and Kirsty

DJ: Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close? No one can escape their heart's rhythm…