Red had only heard the story recently of a dragon being unable to fly and dying from falling...boy, he thought he was an idiot. How the hell does a dragon not know how to fly, yet manage to fly high enough to die from falling in the first place?
Red shook his head. It wasn't his place to judge people right now (unless they were red), not when he had more pressing issues at paw. Like his eBay order. Why the hell hadn't his paints turned up yet? Each passing hour they weren't at his front door, his red-agitation was making him more paranoid. What was his red agitation, you may ask? Why, it was the fact he wasn't red! Let us tell you a little story of a baby dragon called Red...and no...not that Red that got turned into a robot...this is a different Red…
At birth, little Red was made fun of by his parents. They decided calling him Red would be funny, because he wasn't really red. Though, his grandparents thought there was a hidden meaning to the name, as if Red was destined to (become a robot) accomplish something impossible...like being the colour red...which he wasn't...so his grandparents were stupid. Like, his grandad was that guy who fell from the sky. How the fuck that makes sense beats us, but let's roll with it!
So, his parents named him Red because he wasn't red. Red was very angry with his non-redness, so he breathed every element that wasn't red at his red parents. They all died in pools of red blood. Disgusting. This only made Red see red more, because he didn't even have red blood. He did, however, calm down after that, and stopped randomly killing people without good reason. Unless they were red. They died a very red death. He was very red-cist.
What colour was Red, you ask? Well, red is red, of course, but Red wasn't red. He was every other colour but red. Red was a lot of colours, but he was only one colour at a time; he changed colours like a broken mood ring. When he was unhappy, he was yellow. When he was happy he was silver, and when he was angry and seeing red… he was pink. The fact that Red was pink made Red see lots of the colour red, and so he always saw red. Have we confused you yet? No? Have you seen red? Well, probably, but you haven't seen anything of Red yet. He's hard to miss really; he's more colourful than a drugged-up hippie.
Red lived in his cave. He wanted to be red, so he ordered red paints online with his cave computer. Though there was a fatal flaw to his plan...he forgot to order a cave paintbrush. He would need to improvise once he got the cave paints. How would he apply the cave paint without- oh there goes his doorbell. His cave doorbell. Which sounds like cavemen having sex (but don't tell him, he's fond of that doorbell).
He approached the cave door and saw a red mailguy putting red cave paints in his cave mailbox. The red made Red see red...red. "RED...RED! How dare he put red in my cave mailbox," he roared, forgetting he ordered red paint temporarily. The red mailguy looked at him, bowing ever so slightly.
"Hello, good Sir, how are y-eugh-"
Red impaled the red mailguy placing the red cave paints in his cave mailbox with his pink cave horns, and made red blood go everywhere. This was the third mailman this week, and seeing even more red blood on his lawn made him SEE RED!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he screamed, charging up and down the hills outside of his cave home, his legs whirring like a wind up toy, kicking up huge mounds of red dirt and red dust, obscuring the pink dragon from view. He ran so bloody (red) fast that he made it to Warfang! He had never been to Warfang, nor knew it existed, even though he'd passed it dozens of times in his moments of time, however, he charged through the guards and the gates into the city.
The nuclear sirens immediately went off, because he entered with the force of an atomic bomb. But all that energy had to stop somewhere...and that somewhere was a poor mole that got kicked up by the vengeful pink dragon. The poor mole got launched like a field goal, over buildings and likely not to be seen for a while…
He stopped, snorting pink smoke through his nostrils, pink teeth bared. Angrier than a certain pink dragoness that had discovered another female with 'her' male. Everyone cried and ran for their lives, far, far away from the pink menace who was seeing red. Red charged the streets, turning perfect ninety degree angles into other streets like Pacman on steroids. Red knew who Pacman was. Pacman was Red's idol (Red is not to be confused by the red ghost in Pacman, who's name is actually Blinky). And Red hates that guy… BECAUSE HE'S RED...duh. You readers are so dumb. You didn't even know that. Dumbheads. There's also another thing you don't know! This story was actually written by- hang on...that's a spoiler...No spoilers for you guys! And that's only because you're dumb...dummies.
Anyway, while Red was perfect at turning corners, his perception or reactions weren't any greater than a normal (red) dragon, that combined with the blistering speed he was rampaging at, meant he was never going to miss the wall just around the next corner…
bang
That was Red hitting the wall (which had a nice red tint to it, by the way. It was a really good wall. Fucking idiot, that dragon…). However, despite being a really good wall, it shattered like a toddler playing with a Jenga tower, revealing something to the world never meant to be seen…
end of chapter hope u guys enjoyed this one new chap in a munth
bye bye goys alsso redd is my favrit carlor if u didt kno. And purple is mine!
oh be sure to request some ocs i dont have any ideas nor does he. Yes we are tewwibly uncreative!
