Summary: The Glee Club and Cheerios go head-to-head at the pep assembly. Mercedes hits Akron as the last stop on her tour. The grads reconnect with Will, Emma, and their baby Daniel.
Guest starring:
Laura Dreyfuss as Madison
Erinn Westbrook as Bree
Amber Riley as Mercedes Jones
Billy Lewis Jr. as Mason
Samantha Ware as Jane
Mike O'Malley as Burt Hummel
Jayma Mays as Emma Schuester
Noah Guthrie as Roderick
Marshall Williams as Spencer
Iqbal Theba as Figgins
INT. AUDITORIUM – MON OCT 6
Sam sat alone at the piano, tuning his guitar. It was such an early morning, and Sam was not up for anything.
Song: "Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars
{Kurt and Roderick come in, pitching in with whistles.}
[Chorus]
Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything.
Uh!
I'm gonna kick my feet up
Then stare at the fan
Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants
Nobody's gonna tell me I can't
I'll be lounging on the couch,
Just chillin' in my snuggie
Click to MTV, so they can teach me how to dougie
'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man
Oh, yes I said it
I said it
I said it 'cause I can
{Jane and Marley come in and start jamming too.}
[Chorus]
Nothing at all!
Ooh, hoo, ooh, hoo, ooh, ooh-ooh
Nothing at all
Ooh, hoo, ooh, hoo, ooh, ooh-ooh
{Madison and Mason arrive.}
Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X
Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex
And she's gonna scream out: 'This is Great' (Madison: Oh my God, this is great!)
Yeah
I might mess around, and get my college degree
I bet my old man will be so proud of me
But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait
Haha
Oh, yes I said it
I said it
I said it 'cause I can
[Chorus]
{Ryder walks by. He realizes he misses the fun Glee Club days.}
No, I ain't gonna comb my hair
'Cause I ain't going anywhere
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I'll just strut in my birthday suit
And let everything hang loose
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[Chorus]
{Kitty and Bree spy from the door.}
Nothing at all
Ooh, hoo, ooh, hoo, ooh, ooh-ooh
Nothing at all
Ooh, hoo, ooh, hoo, ooh, ooh-ooh
Nothing at all
Suddenly, Rachel stormed into the auditorium. "WHAT SONG WERE YOU SINGING?"
"Oh, 'The Lazy Song' by Bruno Mars!" Sam exclaimed, high-fiving Mason.
"No, no, no!" Rachel exclaimed. "You can't be singing songs promoting laziness!"
"Chillax, we were just having a morning jam sesh, I'm not telling them they need to sleep through Sectionals or something," Sam said defensively.
"Well," Sue said, walking onto the stage. "I don't think this club will even get to Sectionals if you all don't get to recruiting. Need I remind you all that you need twelve members to compete at Sectionals? My sources tell me that Will Schuester and Blaine Anderson each have twenty members easy. Last I counted for you all, you only have five members. Do I need to remind you all that you three graduates don't count?"
"Yes, we are aware that we need seven more members," Kurt said.
"Don't worry, Sue, we'll get them," Sam said. "I was the one who recruited three Cheerios for Nationals the other year remember?"
"Not to mention, we got twelve people by Sectionals in my sophomore year," Marley said.
"Well, good luck finding anyone who's interested," Sue said. "Ever since I disbanded the club, the school is quite content without a Glee Club. But I'm going to extend my mercy unto you socially awkward kids whose only method of finding friends is jamming out to every Bruno Mars song you can think of. On Wednesday, we will be having our Fall Pep Assembly to drum up excitement for our first football game of the season. Usually, performances are only afforded to the Cheerios, but I've cleared enough room in our assembly schedule to allow you Glee kids to perform a number, which will inevitably result in one of you kids, probably the former bulimic, to vomit all over the stage, resulting in someone pulling the fire alarm and causing all of the students to flee out of the gymnasium in a chaotic stampede that sends me to the hospital with a broken neck."
"Sue, you pulled the fire alarm," Kurt said.
"And we're trying to forget that the Ke$ha performance ever happened," Rachel said. "I still can't get over the taste of Brittany' vomit in my mouth."
"Ew!" the kids groaned.
"Your fault for mixing that concoction, Rachel," Sam whispered.
"Anyway," Sue said. "I will see you all at the pep assembly. Mason and Madison, you are still expected to commit fully to the Cheerios."
"Are you kidding?" Mason asked.
"We don't pass up any opportunity to spread PEP and CHEER!" Madison cheered.
"Ugh," Sue said. "I can't take this cheerfulness on the Cheerios. You're lucky you're a decent dancer. Wednesday. It had better not be 'Push It,' got it?"
INT. HALLWAY
Bree saw Ryder and Kitty still lurking at the door.
"You two seriously aren't considering rejoining that loser club, are you?" Bree asked.
Ryder and Kitty began stammering and stuttering about how they weren't rejoining.
Bree could sense their lies. But her eyes caught sight of Mason and Madison exiting the auditorium. Bree went over to the twins.
"Stop," she said. "I get that you two are excited little sophomores trying out every club this school has to offer, but I'm going to need to set you folks a little reminder. Upon trying out for the varsity Cheerios last year, we informed you that being on the Cheerios is your top priority. We have won National championships in 2012, 2013, and 2014, and I will not lose out on that streak in my senior year. Now, I don't know your reasons for joining this club, and I don't really care. But the fact of the matter is that word is spreading around the school about how the Cheerios, the school's most tight-knit organization, is falling apart from members defecting to the show choir. Need I remind you that this defection is what ultimately led to Sue Sylvester ending her winning streak at the 2011 cheerleading Regionals? Glee Clubbers and Cheerios do not mix. You both are taking Chemistry, right? Well, you should know that you two are hydrophobic molecules in a bath of show choir water; your very being in this school will denature if you stay in this club any longer, and this goes for any football players and Cheerios who might be thinking the same thing. This school thrives on a delicate balance of the status quo. Don't mess it up."
Kitty, Ryder, Mason, and Madison all widened their eyes at this rant. Bree walked away down the hall. Spencer and three football players swooped down the hall and tossed slushies at Mason Madison, Jane, and Roderick.
"Congrats on getting into Glee Club, losers," Spencer laughed, high-fiving his friends and running away down the hall. "See you at practice, Ryder!"
Kitty dragged Ryder away down the hall. "Okay, I won't deny that I was reconsidering Glee Club, but just the sight of those slushies. I have never been slushied before. And it's not going to start now. We are not rejoining that club, got it?"
Ryder nodded. "Got it." This was an obvious lie, though.
INT. CARMEL COUNSELING CENTER – TUE OCT 7
Unique entered the Carmel counseling center. It was a lot larger than the lone office of Mrs. Schuester back at McKinley. Thankfully, Unique saw Emma waving to her from her new office.
"How are you doing?" Emma asked Unique while closing the office door.
"I'm great!" Unique exclaimed. "You settled into your new office okay?"
"Yep!" Emma exclaimed, proudly glancing at her newly organized pamphlet display. "It's such a nice change at this school, knowing that every grade level gets their own counselor, and there is a counselor specifically for career guidance and another for college guidance! But, as the school's new senior counselor, I'm here to help! How've you been adjusting back to Carmel? Is it the same as your old freshman days?"
"Students here are still a little intimidating, but everyone still remembers me as the transgender who won the National Show Choir MVP title as a freshman," Unique said. "I call that success in itself. I've also gotten my parents' permission to finally start my transition. I'm on hormone replacement therapy and I got electrolysis for facial hair. Shaving up on this beautiful face was so not the biz. Legs keep me busy enough."
"I'm glad," Emma said. "And I know we have counselors specifically for college and career guidance here, but have you given any thought to that area?"
"I have a general direction of where I want to go," Unique explained. I really want to major in Women's Studies, but I've even been looking for all-female schools to apply to. Then again, I certainly also want to be in a school with a lot of hunky men."
Emma giggled. "Don't I know it. I remember my first day of Psychology 100 class, there was this one guy who sat next to me and—"
Emma fumbled at the sight of Will waving to her through her office door, signaling that they were going to eat lunch together in ten minutes.
"Yeah, well, no man beats Will Schuester," Emma concluded humorously. Unique gave her a wink. "So, do you have any plans?"
"Hells yes I do!" Unique exclaimed. "Mercedes is hitting Akron for the final stop of her tour, so I'm going to go check her out."
"Great!" Emma exclaimed. "Well, Mr. Schuester and I are having dinner with some of the older kids after. You should stop by!"
INT. AKRON MALL STAGE – EVENING
Rachel, Kurt, Unique, Sam, and Marley were in the front row of Mercedes's concert. Santana and Brittany were with her as backup singer and dancer.
"I'm so glad you all enjoyed some of my original music!" Mercedes exclaimed. "I'd like to end the night with a cover of one of my favorite songs by an amazing young lady from Epic Records, Meghan Trainer."
Song: "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainer
[Chorus]
Because you know
I'm all about that bass
'Bout that bass, no treble
I'm all about that bass
'Bout that bass, no treble
I'm all about that bass
'Bout that bass, no treble
I'm all about that bass
'Bout that bass
Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two
But I can shake it, shake it
Like I'm supposed to do
'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
And all the right junk in all the right places
I see the magazine workin' that Photoshop
We know that stuff ain't real
C'mon now, make it stop
If you got beauty, beauty, just raise 'em up
'Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top
[Pre-Chorus]
Yeah, my mama she told me don't worry about your size
She says, "Boys like a little more booty to hold at night."
You know I won't be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll
So if that's what you're into then go ahead and move along
[Chorus]
Mercedes (w/ Santana soprano harmony): I'm bringing (booty back)
Go ahead and tell them skinny (bitches that)
No, I'm just playing. I know you (think you're fat)
But I'm here to tell ya
Both: Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]
"YAS HONEYS, WERK!" Unique screamed as Mercedes's troupe exited the stage.
INT. SCHUESTER HOUSE
"I cannot get over how cute he is!" Kurt exclaimed, bouncing Daniel Finn Schuester on his lap.
"I'm still confused about one thing," Sam said. "Daniel was born after Rachel's opening night—"
"Barbra Streisand's birthday," Rachel said matter-of-factly. "Though Daniel was born at like 4 am, right?"
"And you said during our Nationals competition that you were expecting, so that had to have put your date of conception around early June, and adding nine months to that—" Sam wondered.
"—Puts your due date to about mid-February," Kurt said.
"Oh yeah," Emma said awkwardly. "See, that Penny Owen was interning at the clinic and apparently she got her tests mixed up, and I got somebody else's pregnancy test. After a few weeks I noticed that I was asymptomatic, went back to the clinic, and we figured out that I was never pregnant. You should've seen Will's face."
Will laughed. "Truth be told, I thought Emma was pulling a Terri on me."
"I always had faith in Penny," Sam whispered.
"Anyway," Emma said. "We decided to keep trying, and we finally conceived in early August! Singing the song 'Daniel' during—"
"Don't even finish that sentence," Santana muttered.
"So, how are the New Directions doing?" Unique asked.
"Not well," Marley sighed.
"It's just difficult because we need twelve members, and we only have five so far," Rachel explained.
Brittany suggested, "I swear, if you could just re-recruit Kitty or Ryder, everything will fall into place."
"Exactly," Mercedes said. "New Directions filled up in no time once Quinn and Puck joined New Directions and brought two friends each."
"Well, Ryder said he'd think about it," Kurt said. "Kitty on the other hand, not so in-tune with the idea."
"You know, the last real conversation we had was when we were sweeping the choir room," Unique said. "I asked if she would say 'hi' to me even if Glee Club was over, and she said—"
"'Of course, someone's got to tell you your shoes don't match your purse,'" Marley imitated.
"And who was the first person to slushy me in junior year?" Unique asked.
"Kitty Wilde," Marley and Unique said together. "Just like sophomore year. Some things never changed. The last thing Ryder said in that choir room was—"
"'We helped each other become better people in this room. No one could ever take that away from us,'" Unique repeated. "And actually, that one day the five of us sophomores pledged our friendship to each other after Feud week, he said, 'It's going to be up to us to keep up the Glee Club torch. Not just winning competitions, but the legacy of being the only place at this school, at any school, where the most special thing you could be is yourself.'"
These quotes struck Rachel. "Thank you, girls. I think I know how we're going to get them back. Kurt, I need you to write a speech."
INT. GYM – WED OCT 8
"SIT DOWN!" Sue barked as all the students filed into the gym. "Unless you're a Cheerio, Glee kid, or one of their band geeks, there's no reason to be standing up!"
"I want all of the football boys sitting in the center right here in the front!" Shannon commanded. "We're introducing our starting lineup. Come on, Ryder and Spencer!"
Rachel, Kurt, Sam, Marley, Jane, and Roderick were helping the band set up equipment when they saw Jake walk into the gym.
"SPY!" Rachel screamed.
"Chillax," Jake said, hugging Sam and Marley. "I'm just here to watch the pep assembly. I really miss it here."
"Don't worry, Rachel," Marley said. "I think his motives are true."
"Well, we've all had misconceived opinions on Puckermans before," Rachel confessed. "Fine. Have a seat, Jake."
"And now!" Roz exclaimed. "Fresh off a third consecutive National Championship, I present to y'all, the most exciting thing to ever happen to you this semester, the Cheerios! And I'll have it noted that the Glee Club ain't the only group on this campus who can sing their perky little faces off."
Song: "Move" by Little Mix
[All:]
Mmh [x4] (ah) Mmh (ah) Mmh [repeats]
[Kitty:]
Hey baby
Tell me your name
I got a fever for you
I just can't explain
But there's just one problem
I'm a bit old school
When it comes to lovin'
I ain't chasing you
Ain't waiting
I'm on a roll
You've got to let yourself go
[Pre-Chorus – Bree (Mason):]
Oh (talk to me)
You know that I've been waiting for you (and I noticed you, too)
Don't leave me standing all by myself (I won't leave you standing all alone)
'Cause I ain't looking at no one else (oh, baby)
[Mason:]
Hey,
Get your back off the wall
Don't you get comfortable
Looking so hot,
I think that I might fall
Feeling like it's my birthday
Like Christmas day came early
Just what I want
So when we move
You move
[Chorus – All:]
Hey
Get your back off the wall
Don't you get comfortable
Looking so hot
I think that I might fall
Feeling like it's my birthday
Like Christmas day came early
Just what I want
So when we move
You move
[Madison:]
Oh silly
Why you afraid?
Don't be a big baby
Quit playing games
And put your arms around me
You know what to do
And we can take it down low
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus 2x]
[Madison:]
I know that you wanna
But you can't cause you gotta
Stay cool in the corner
When the truth is that you wanna move
So move
[repeat w/ All]
[Bree:]
Move it baby, oh!
[Pre-Chorus]
All: Looking at no one else, ow!
[All 2x:]
Hey! Hey!
I'm ready, hey!
Boy come and get me
Don't be scared
Show me what you do
Don't you know a girl
Like a boy who moves?
[Chorus w/ Kitty runs]
[All:]
Hey! Hey! I'm ready, hey!
Boy come and get me
Don't be scared
Show me what you do
Don't you know a girl
Like a boy who moves!
Bree and Kitty took in the crowd applause excitedly as Mason and Madison hurried to join the New Directions.
Rachel and Kurt took the microphone next.
"Well, wasn't that an amazing display?" Rachel asked. "Up next, we would like to present a very special group, the McKinley show choir! After a year of disbandment, we're finally back."
"Like one of our former members said, Glee Club isn't about just winning competitions, but 'the legacy of being the only place at this school, at any school, where the most special thing you could be is yourself,'" Kurt quoted.
Ryder glanced up from his cell phone at this quote. He totally forgot he said that, but the quote was now ringing through his head.
"And like another former member once said, 'This place ain't seen nothing yet,'" Rachel repeated.
Kitty's head whipped around at this quote. She too forgot she had ever said this.
"And now, the New Directions!" Kurt exclaimed.
Sue giggled at the lack of applause. The only people applauding were Sam, Shannon, and Jake.
Song: "Bang Bang" by Jessie J., feat. Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande
Jane (all): She got a body like an hourglass, but I can give it to you all the time
She got a booty like a Cadillac, but I can send you into overdrive (oh)
(You've been waiting for that, stop, hold up, swing your bat)
See anybody could be bad to you,
You need a good girl to blow your mind, yeah
[Hook – Jane (all):]
Bang bang into the room (I know you want it)
Bang bang all over you (I'll let you have it)
Wait a minute let me take you there (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
Bang bang there goes your heart (I know you want it)
Back, back seat of my car (I'll let you have it)
Wait a minute let me take you there (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
Marley (all): She mighta let you hold her hand in school, but I'mma show you how to graduate
No, I don't need to hear you talk the talk, just come and
Marley & Jane: Show me what your mamma gave (oh, yeah)
(You've got a very big shhhh, mouth but don't say a thing)
Marley & Roderick: See anybody could be good to you,
Marley & Jane: You need a bad girl to blow your mind
[Hook]
Roderick: You know what, girls?
Let me show you how to do.
Madison: It's Myx Moscato
It's frizz in a bottle
It's Mason full throttle
It's oh, oh
Swimming in the grotto
We winning in the lotto
We dipping in the pot of blue foam, so
Kitten so good
It's dripping on wood
Get a ride in the engine that could
Go, Batman robbin' it
Bang, bang, cockin' it
Madison dominant, prominent
It's me, Jane, and Marley
If they test me they sorry
Ride us up like a Harley
Then pull off in this Ferrari
If he hanging we banging
Phone ranging, he slanging
It ain't karaoke night but get the mic 'cause I'm singing (uh)
B to the A to the N to the G to the uh (baby)
B to the A to the N to the G to the hey
Jane: See anybody could be good to you,
You need a bad girl to blow your mind (your mind)
[Hook]
[Outro – Madison (overlapping):]
Bang, bang into the room (I know you want it)
Bang bang all over you (I'll let you have it)
Wait a minute let me take you there (ah)
Wait a minute 'till ya (ah)
[Madison:]
Yo, I said
Bang, bang
Bang, bang, bang, bang
Bang, bang, bang
Bang, bang, bang, bang
[Jane:]
Bang bang there goes your heart (I know you want it)
Back, back seat of my car (I'll let you have it)
Wait a minute let me take you there (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
The moment the lights went up, Jake started the applause. Rachel and Kurt didn't even have time to applaud when Sue shouted, "CO-DIRECTORS! MY OFFICE, NOW!"
INT. SUE'S OFFICE
Rachel and Kurt sat in front of Sue's desk. Shannon watched from the side.
"I don't know if you two know this, but I had had to call in a trauma counselor to deal with a few juniors and seniors who recoiled in horror at today's performance," Sue said. "Not only was that song sexually suggestive, but the fact that your kids were singing 'Bang Bang' with gun-related choreography reignited some fragile memories of the Spring 2013 false alarm school shooting."
"I think you're overreacting, Sue," Shannon said. "What's past is in the past. Becky got her suspension, you got your probation, the kids all had a safe year last year. Yes, there may be a few kids affected, like poor Dottie Kazatori who was hiding in a janitor's closet while everything was going down, but that performance really excited most of the kids."
"'Most of the kids' being the freshmen and sophomores who didn't go through that ordeal," Sue said. "I warned you two that any songs of sexual nature were unacceptable. Ex-Fanny, you are the rebel who caused that to happen in your very first Glee performance. I should've known that some things would never change."
"Sue, we chose that song because it's a current hit," Kurt said. "You said it yourself, we need to recruit members."
"Well, do it the old-fashioned way," Sue said. "How'd you recruit your second-year newbies, Sam Evans and Sunshine Corazon?"
"Well, we got their attention from performing 'Empire State of Mind' in the courtyard," Kurt said.
"A much more appropriate song than the one you just did about bad girls blowing a man's mind so that they can bang bang in the back seat of the black girl's car," Sue said.
Rachel and Kurt frowned.
"How can we fix this mess?" Rachel asked.
Sue grinned evilly. "I think I've got an idea."
INT. HALLWAY
Janitor Figgins led his three new recruits through the crowded halls, with mop buckets in tow.
"McKinley High, meet your new janitorial squad," Sue said over the PA system. "These three New York flops will be sweeping your floors, mopping your tiles, plunging your toilets, scraping your gum, and wiping your windows for the rest of the week."
Roderick, Marley, and Jane watched from down the hall.
"I feel awful," Marley sighed. "I didn't think the performance was inappropriate, and goodness knows, I was the crybaby of the lot when that false alarm shooting was going down."
INT. CAFETERIA
Rachel was busy sweeping breadcrumbs off the floor. Kurt was mopping behind her. Figgins was wiping the tables. Sam was under the tables scraping gum.
"I regret every wad of gum I've ever stuck under here," Sam moaned. "Figgins, I don't know how you've been doing it the past year-and-a-quarter!"
"It hasn't been easy," Figgins said. "Believe me, I've tried plotting time and time again to reclaim my job from the devil that is Sue Sylvester, but the Department of Education loves her and fears her at the same time. She's made a difference in this school, but only out of what she does best: blackmail and bullying."
"Hm," Rachel said. "Then I guess we're going to have to beat her at her own game."
INT. COMPUTER LAB – LATE EVENING
Sam's leg appeared over an open window. Just like the Blamtina Senior Lock-in the other year, they were breaking in.
"I feel like such a criminal for doing this," Kurt whispered, falling over the window.
"Ow, I can't do this!" Rachel exclaimed, wincing as she led go of the window and crashed to the floor.
"If I was still your principal, I would have you all arrested," Figgins said, toppling to the ground.
"Y'all are lucky I wanted to time with y'all tonight before I head back to LA," Mercedes said, being the last to fall into the room.
"Alright," Sam said. "Welcome to the computer lab."
"There are eighteen computers in here," Mercedes said, looking at the layout of six circular tables with triangular wedges that housed three computers each. "I'm willing to bet that all the students are on Tumblr and Facebook instead of Powerpoint and Word."
"This is exactly why we need to bring this baby down," Sam said. "Trust me, if the students here needed to use computers, they would go to the library. But this room essentially turned into an Information-Technology academy. The risers are used for robotics tracks now, which is cool and all, and the Robotics Club actually won a state tournament last year. But this was a show choir home first. If McKinley is ever to have a legit performing arts program, this room is the only place to have it."
"Agreed," Rachel said. "What are we going to do?"
Sam spread out a diagram on the floor. "Sue keeps all of our old trophies, music stands, equipment, and piano under lock and key in this storage room."
Figgins managed to get his hands on an old key to the principal's office. They got the key to the storage closet, and broke in. Through the night, the group worked diligently. Though they kept the computers in their original location, they placed the old choir room chairs in their original formation on the risers. Sam returned the musicians' equipment to the stage right side of the room, and the piano to the center. This involved Kurt and Figgins to play a bit of tetris with the computer lab tables so that everything fit. Everything was tight, but by the time the sun came up, the group was ready to dig out and hope for the best.
"Thank you, Mr. Figgins," Rachel said. "For all your help."
"Thank YOU all," Figgins said. "This was quite the evening! There is nothing like rebelling against a tyrant! Sue can keep me in this janitorial position all she wants, but she will not win this battle. I am on the side of the Glee Club now."
The kids grinned. "Victory shall be ours," Mercedes said.
INT. HALLWAY – THU OCT 9 – MORNING
Sue set foot into the computer lab during her morning rounds, saw the new arrangement, and let her morning protein shake fall to the floor, splattering the tiles. Figgins didn't even care. Rachel, Kurt, and Sam sat on the risers proudly.
"This. Will. Not. Stand." Sue said coldly.
"Everything's back in its original layout, Sue," Kurt said. "Trophies back in their cases, chairs back in order, piano tuned, music equipment standing tall. We're not backing down. The only thing is that these computers need to go. We can't have our performers dancing around and crashing into this expensive equipment, now, can we?"
Sue widened her eyes. "What makes you think I'm authorizing the use of this room to you?"
"Oh, that's not all," Rachel said, pointing to Will's old office, which was now plastered with gold stars and pictures of all of the New Directions performances and yearbook photos of every past and present member.
Sue was furious. "Fine. You can have your little office and risers, but this computer lab and the Information-Technology program stays, because they are actually accomplishing educational benchmarks and standards unlike this Glee Club. You're hanging by a thread."
INT. THE LIMA BEAN – FRI OCT 10 – EARLY MORNING
Burt, Kurt, Rachel, and Mercedes sat at a table drinking coffee.
"Thanks for offering to drive me to the airport, Mr. Hummel," Mercedes said.
"Mercedes, how many times do I have to tell you, you all can call me Burt," he laughed. "But anyway, I still can't believe you kids pulled that off without getting some sort of punishment!"
"Well, Sue making us week-long janitors was enough," Rachel said, sipping on her tea with lemon and honey. "But still, it makes a statement that we're here to stay."
"Are you really planning on staying here, though?" Burt asked. "Rachel, your potential is far too great to stay here in Lima."
Rachel nodded. "I know, but Glee helped me discover who I was back in my sophomore year, and it'll help me discover myself again when all else has failed. When I'm ready, I'll pursue my impending fame and glory again, but there's just no use for me to be in New York right now when I'm only a college dropout and on all of Broadway's no-hire list."
"Well, I think it's great that you two are so dedicated to the Glee Club," Mercedes said.
"I agree," Burt said. "I saw how all you kids have been affected by that club, and the fact that Sue is continuously trying to destroy that magic, the kind of opportunity that allowed you all to spread your wings and fly off to places like Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York, it's sickening. All I know is, is that those kids need you."
"Exactly," Mercedes said. "And even though you might only have five students now, trust me, there has to be a whole dozen or two students at that school who need something like Glee Club to keep them grounded, something to keep them seeing hope and truth, to remind them that anything is possible."
Rachel smiled. "Thank you all for the support you've given me since I got back from LA. Maybe some things just weren't meant to be, but how can we really know if we don't try it out? All I know is that I am a big dreamer. And though it cost me a lot of friendships—"
"We forgive your three years of solo hogging," Kurt laughed.
"Well, point is, it's not over yet," Rachel said. "I'll find my way."
INT. AUDITORIUM
Song: "Distant Dreamer"
Rachel: Although you think I cope
My head is filled with hope
Of some place other than here
Although you think I smile
Inside and all the while
I'm wondering about my destiny
{Rachel flashes back to her Funny Girl opening night}
[Pre-Chorus]
I'm thinking about
All the things
I'd like to do
In my life
{Rachel remembers the dark days in Cassie's Dance 101 class, when Brody and the other juniors helped out.}
[Chorus]
I'm a dreamer
A distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
{Rachel remembers her horrible Song of Solomon audition.}
Even when you see me frown
My heart won't let me down
Because I know there's better things to come
And when life gets tough
And I feel I've had enough
I hold on to a distant star
{Rachel remembers singing with Blaine at the Midwinter Critique, then dropping out of NYADA.}
[Pre-Chorus]
{Rachel sings to an empty audience in the auditorium.}
[Chorus 2x]
Yeah I'm a dreamer
The lights dimmed. Rachel heard faint applause.
"Kurt, is that you?" Rachel asked.
"No," said a female voice. The auditorium lights turned on to expose Kitty. "It's me."
Rachel looked down awkwardly. "I suppose you haven't given any additional thought to joining the Glee Club?"
Kitty shrugged. "I have, actually. That thing you said, at the assembly, about how 'This ain't place seen nothing yet.' You had to have heard that from Marley or someone, didn't you?"
Rachel nodded. "Marley and Unique. It may not seem that way to you right now, but they still really do care about you."
Kitty shrugged. "The thing about being in that group was that, no matter how talented we were in comparison to you guys, we seemed even more invisible and disliked."
Rachel nodded. "And I don't get that. You five have talents unlike my class. Jake is a way better dancer than Noah. Compared to Quinn's soft alto, that piercing mezzo I heard from you in the shower was just to die for. Unique is the girl who beat me out for the National Show Choir MVP. Finn always said Ryder was like a little brother to him. And Marley has one of the most beautiful voices I've heard pass through this choir."
"Well, I want to be a part of that again," Kitty said. "I'm in. Even if it means Bree will kill me."
INT. DALTON
Jake was lying down on the couch, flipping through his phone. He found an Instagram picture of Kitty taking a selfie with Mason and Madison. It was captioned 'Cheerios Meet New Directions.' So, that was it? Kitty had finally joined Glee Club?
Blaine entered the Warbler lounge. "What's up, Jake?"
Jake sat upright. "Kitty's back in New Directions."
Blaine whipped around. "Oh no."
"I don't think we need to worry," Jake said. "They still only have six people, and even if Ryder rejoins, that'll put them up to seven. You really think five background Cheerios will make much of an impression at Sectionals?"
"We can't underestimate it," Blaine said. "The TroubleTones essentially had Mercedes, Santana, Brittany, Sugar, and eight Cheerios on their team and they were a pretty formidable opponent that year. Not to mention we got second place at Nationals with three last-minute Cheerio recruits."
Jake shrugged. "The Warblers are in really good shape, Blaine. The thing I love most about being here is that all the guys can sing, unlike New Directions where half the team was there to serve as dancers."
"But then let's compare ourselves to Vocal Adrenaline, where yes, most of them are dancers first and foremost, but their dance moves are killer, they have Unique, and with Mr. Schue coaching them through tribute weeks like Lady Gaga, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, The Beatles, Katy Perry, Saturday Night Fever, and Billy Joel, we don't know what to predict from them for the competition," Blaine said.
"Well, what else can we do?" Jake asked. "All we can really do is work hard on our own skills and see where it takes us. I mean, I know I'm only a first-year member, but we have a history, Blaine. I thought we were really getting along to the start of a beautiful friendship when I asked you to cover for me in detention, that one week you had the puppet fetish."
Blaine put his palm to his face. "Totally forgot about that."
"Well, it was awkward enough with you sending me to spy on their pep assembly performance," Jake said. "I miss them. I don't want to be enemies with them."
"Only you know what a Regionals victory tastes like, and better yet, what Nationals feels like. We need to get this team there," Blaine stressed. "Are you with me?"
Jake nodded. "I'm with you."
