So anyone who's read Because I Knew You will hopefully appreciate my tendency to throw Blaine in where he isn't in canon.

Yeah, this is just how the kitchen scene would have gone if Blaine was living there, too.

Kurt and Blaine sat at their kitchen table, sharing breakfast in a companionable silence until Brody walked into the room, buck naked.

Blaine nearly choked on his Cheerios and Kurt did a double-take before looking back to Blaine, looking like he wasn't quite sure it was actually happening. He kept his eyes locked on Kurt's wide ones until Rachel came in and kissed Brody on the cheek like there was nothing abnormal about their morning so far.

Kurt glared at her expectantly and she shook her head. "What?"

"Are you serious?" Blaine asked.

Kurt pointed his spoon at Rachel menacingly. "Your boyfriend's bare ass is on one of my vintage flea market chairs."

Brody continued eating his cereal and explained that he was supporting Rachel in her decision to perform a topless scene in a student film.

"No, I don't think you understand," Blaine cut in before Kurt could express his issues with that idea. "You are not the first person to have your naked ass on that chair."

Rachel dropped her banana. "Excuse me?"

"Kurt and I have had sex on that chair."

"Whoa." Brody jumped up.

"Jesus!" Kurt yelped, covering his eyes. "Brody, pants!"

"Please tell me that this chair and your room are the only places you've had sex in this apartment!" Rachel demanded.

"Um…"

"Guys! Boundaries!"

"Are you seriously lecturing us about boundaries?" Kurt asked incredulously. "Brody is naked in our kitchen!"

"Is there anywhere I can sit?" Brody asked.

"Anywhere as long as you're wearing pants," Kurt bit out, directing his death glare at his coffee mug.

"Even a towel would suffice," Blaine added.

"No, I am still not over you sex monkeys turning our apartment into a brothel," Rachel cut in.

"You turned it into a hotel without consulting the other residents," Kurt snapped back.

"I'm sorry Brody, but can you please put some pants on? That's really distracting," Blaine said.

"Blaine!" Kurt smacked his shoulder.

"What? It's right there," Blaine emphasized, pointing.

"I'm good," he shrugged shamelessly.

"I will throw you out in the street," Kurt hissed between his teeth.

He threw his hands up in surrender and left the room.

"I don't know what your problem is," Rachel said.

"Sorry, should we all start walking around naked to help you with your acting career?" Kurt asked sarcastically, waving his arms around in irritation.

Her eyes widened and after a moment of consideration she said, "I don't see a problem with-"

"Oh, in your dreams, Rachel," Kurt huffed, grabbing Blaine by the arm to drag him out of the room.

"I was not done eating-"

"You can eat something else."