Author's note: I was hungry for biryani when I wrote this, they don't make it like they used to…

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Hey Lazlo, I love you! Hey Lazlo, I think you're adorable! Hey Lazlo, put me out of my misery!!

You can't tell Lazlo things like this… you just can't! Will he understand any of it? Do any thoughts lurk beneath that cheery demeanor?

You can't tell him, his friends will be there, and they're always there! It would be too embarrassing…

But it was either that, or spend the rest of his life with little hearts floating around his head. There was absolutely no way he could build a criminal empire with little hearts orbiting him. That, and he wouldn't be able to live it down if his brothers saw them.

ok, he thought to himself.

I'll tell him.

He struck a determined pose and sauntered out of the nurse's office and past the waiting room. Several campers stared at him, saw the hearts, and remembered the incident the night before. They were probably wondering who he had a crush on.

Edward wished that some squirrel scouts had been at marshmallow night; then he wouldn't have to put up with scouts thinking he was gay. The fact that it was, however, true stung like poison oak.

His determined pose began to shrink under their stares. He went from standing tall, chest stuck out- to hunched over, glaring at the ground. The path to Jelly cabin seemed to drag on, and by the time he had reached its door, he was practically crawling.

"Hey Edward!" Lazlo said, opening the door before Edward got the chance to work up the courage to knock.

"It's so nice of you to visit!" Edward tried to think of something to say. Lazlo seemed to be dressed in a series of cardboard boxes.

"Um….hey Laz-" Lazlo interrupted him.

"Do you wanna play "Knights of the Round Table" with us?" Lazlo chirped in.

"Huzzah!' Said Clam from somewhere inside the cabin.

"Listen Lazlo, I need to talk to you in private…"

"There's no secrets between friends." Lazlo said, smiling. Edward hated that smile for all the reasons he hated Lazlo.

Anger bubbled up inside him. "Why does he always have to make this harder for me!? Why?"

"Laaazlooo!' He yelled angrily, shaking his fist at Lazlo. "When I say "private", I mean private!"

"But…"

"No buts! I didn't walk all the way here from Nurse Leslie's office for buts!" His reddening face seemed to make Lazlo suddenly concerned.

"Edward, relax. Whatever's bothering you, I'm sure we can talk about it…" Edward cut him off.

"That's what I wanna talk to you about…"

"Maybe he needs Biryani Rice! I always feel cranky 'till I've had Biryani Rice!" Raj interrupted.

"Huzzah!" Clam repeated.

Edward turned on them, the fires of hell burning in his eyes.

"Shut up, both of you!"

Raj took a step to the side, putting Clam between him and the angry platypus.

At this moment, Lazlo had no idea what was making Edward so testy, but he remembered his parents telling him that people acted mad when they were unhappy. It was pretty much this thought that drove Lazlo to pestering people like Edward and scoutmaster Lumpus.

He couldn't stand the thought of anyone being unhappy; and right now, Edward must be really unhappy. Or, at least, that was how his thoughts ran as he watched Edward.

Lazlo put a hand on his shoulder. "Edward…" He said, cooing like he was talking to a child. "I know a yoga move that can help you."

Edward had been glaring at Lazlo's hand on his shoulder up to that moment. He looked up as Lazlo's words reached his ears: stupid, ridiculous words. The anger that had been piling up inside him suddenly sloshed to his knees, leaving him feeling empty.

Lazlo got the feeling his suggestion was denied. "Or you could just… talk about your feelings..?" He hesitated for a second, wondering if Edward was about to say something. When no words came, he continued trying to egg Edward on. "It'd make you feel better…"

"I hate you." It was hardly even a whisper. The sound of Edward's voice was even lower than the floorboards' constant creaks, but it cut through the air like a hot knife through butter.

Edward didn't even look up as he said it, his gaze was resting on Lazlo's black shoes. He wasn't angry; he felt… detached. He couldn't even feel the ground under his feet. He tried to gather up all the rage that Lazlo dispersed just to feel in control again.

"I hate you, Lazlo! I hate your smile, I hate the way your so frikkin' happy all the time…!" He advanced towards Lazlo. Lazlo took a few steps back as the words Edward said dawned on him.

"I hate the way everyone likes you, even though they know you're an idiot!

I hate the way I can't tell where your shoes end and your pants start!" Edward looked up, because the shoes where mocking him, and right into Lazlo's eyes. The monkey had backed up right up against the wall now.

"I hate your cockamamie definition of fun! I hate the way you always win!

I hate that you think I'm a nice person, and I absolutely hate the fact that I'm in love with you!!"

Lazlo was right, he did feel better now that he had said it. But only for a few seconds.

As Lazlo's expression turned to one of pure shock, he realized that he had said it. Sure, that was what he meant to do, but now everyone was staring at him.

He blushed, embarrassed, and ran out of the cabin before anyone could say anything.

Later that day, Lazlo was walking around camp. He wasn't going anywhere, he just wanted to clear his head. His two friends trailed after him silently.

They didn't say anything- they could tell he was thinking hard about the situation at hand. They both had their own prediction of what conclusion Lazlo'd reach, so they waited… Eventually, Lazlo stopped walking. He turned, and finally voiced his opinion.

"Poor Edward." He said, looking toward Pinto cabin where Edward had locked himself in. Skip and Chip were sitting on the doorstep, looking glum. They were wondering where they would sleep that night.

"Poor Edward?" echoed Raj in disbelief. "What about poor you!? First he yells at you, and then he declares his undying love for you!" In Raj's point of view, the latter was worse.

"Undying?" Lazlo felt his anxiety escalate. "He didn't say undying. Did he?"

"It's what we presume…" Raj replied solemnly.

Well, then this was more serious than Lazlo had previously thought! Drastic measures were going to have to be taken.

He didn't know a thing about love. Of course, romance was out of his league, but he had to do something to cheer Edward up.

"I know what to do!" He said.

"Let him down easy?" Asked Raj

Lazlo laughed, thinking what Raj said was a joke. "Of course not! I was going to ask him out on a date!"

"What?! Why?"

"That's what people who are in love do! Right?"

"But you- you're not in love with him!" The elephant's eyes suddenly widened. "Are you?"

"I don't know. I've never been in love before- have you?"

"No." Raj answered back.

Clam, who was walking silently beside the two, decided to hold up his side of conversation

"I have!"

Lazlo was intrigued. "What's it feel like?"

"Bubbly."

Lazlo didn't understand a lot of things. Romance was one of those things, so was hate. He did understand door knocking, but only to a certain point. He didn't know that at some point you had to stop.

Bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok...

Inside the cabin, Edward pulled the blanket on his bed over his head, trying muffle out the barrage of knocks. He knew who it was. "Go away, Lazlo!"

Bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok…..

He opened the door and glared at his oppressor. "What? What do you want?!"

Lazlo's face was so cheerful that it should've been printed out on a hippie van against a backdrop of flowers and peace signs. Edward had to squint to look at him. "Let's go on a date!" Lazlo said, giggling.

Edward slammed the door.

Bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok...

Edward opened the door, and growled, "You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"I'm serious." Lazlo replied.

Edward wanted to yell 'no' but he couldn't. He opened his mouth to try again.

Nothing.

He hated himself for being such a slave to his emotions. After a pause, he said "I'll think about it.", and shut the door silently.

He leaned on the door and sighed.

'Let's go on a date!'? Seriously? That wasn't even a question! How was he supposed to reply to that?

A date? Sure, he'd go if he wanted to be mortified for the rest of his life! But, then again, he'd never been on a date before…no! Never! Lazlo was the reason he was hiding in here in the first place!

"I just can't believe you!" A voice close to him said.

Author's note: gasp! A cliffhanger! the next parts lame though …