Chapter 2:
"Why the hell are we even bothering with this?!" She had been complaining about going to Middle Park since they left. She knew people around her were getting tired of her constant complaints, but she didn't care. She felt sick and her stomach still hadn't settled since she threw up all over the back seat.
She dreaded meeting her rival who along with other Middle Park officials would be greeting them outside their hotel when they arrived in town. She loathed their police chief who was morbidly obese, repugnant and sleazy. Whenever she had to be in the same room as him he was drooling over and would often make sexually suggestive comments while staring at her chest. Whenever she refused his advances he'd proceed by calling her frigid or a prude. She felt like a fat whale, her ankles were swollen and sore she could hardly walk. Her baby bump was large and she didn't know how she'd fit into any of the clothes she'd brought with her. Why couldn't Johnson and Freddie cover for her? She'd tried everything to get out of going on this trip, but they insisted she make an appearance.
She lost her train of thought when her husband let one rip. She wanted to puke the moment the putrid smell hit her in the nose.
"Oh for the love of God, George!" She pulled her shirt up to cover her mouth and nose. She tried to calm her little ones who were screaming in the back seat.
Alex pulled over and radioed Johnson and Freddie along with the busses telling them to stop. "That's so bad! The fuck did you eat?!"
"I had the burritos for dinner last night." He didn't see what the big deal was. They were gagging on the smell and he wasn't fazed by it. "It's not that bad."
Pete had his shirt over his nose while trying not to gag. "I can't breathe!"
A wave of nausea overwhelmed her. She had to throw up. "I have to puke!"
"Again?" They asked simultaneously.
"Let me out!" She shouted. She threw open the door and vomited on the side of the road.
Alex opened all the doors and the trunk to air out the smell while Barbrady had gone after her to see if she was okay. "T-that's so fucking bad!" He still held his shirt over his nose.
Some of the children noticed and approached him. "What's going on? Why are we stopping?" Stan Marsh asked curiously.
"Barbrady farted in there." He explained while trying not to breathe in the smell. "It stinks so fucking bad!"
"Why did you have to eat the black beans for dinner before a road trip?!" She yelled at her husband. Even though she hated yelling at her husband, she hated the smell of his farts after he'd eaten Mexican food. Especially if the burritos contained the little black beans. They made him smell putrid.
"You've been farting a lot recently Mary. I'm not the only one." Officer Barbrady's retort amused Eric Cartman who was laughing hysterically.
"I'm pregnant!" She snapped at him. "You have no excuse! You Dutch ovened me last night!"
Kenny McCormick poked his head in the car door to see what all the yelling was about. He started coughing on the fumes and backed away from the Mayor's SUV. "God damn it! You fucking stink Barbrady!"
"It's not that bad!" Barbrady insisted they were over exaggerating.
Stan Marsh pulled his shirt over his nose. "It's worse than Cartman dude!"
"This poor car." Johnson added while shaking his head.
"Can I ride on the bus?" Pete asked without caring that it was densely packed like a can of sardines. They still hadn't managed to air the smell out of his Aunt Mary's SUV. "My eyes fucking burn!"
"You're not allowed to eat Mexican food or the little black beans for the rest of the fucking trip!" She snapped at her husband.
"Eew!" The cheerleaders screamed in disgust as they were walking by and Kat Holloway threw up her lunch.
"Not even my cats smell that bad!" She wretched and ran to a nearby tree to throw up.
"Jee whiz!" Barbrady was still adamant that it wasn't as bad as they were making it out to be. It took them three hours to air the smell out. Not even Barbrady's old dog would go near the car until the smell had lifted.
XXXX
Fortunately the rest of the trip had been uneventful. They were running behind schedule when they finally arrived in Middle Park. Judging by the scowls on the faces that greeted them the Middle Park Mayor and his officials had been waiting a while.
Her nerves were staring to get the better of her. She hadn't seen her Middle Park rival since before the news of her sex scandal with Police Chief Barbrady broke and her embarrassing resignation. Now that she remembered correctly she hadn't seen him since before PC Principal moved to South Park. The Middle Park officials were also not aware that she was now open about her relationship with Chief Barbrady. He didn't believe her when she said over the phone that she was too pregnant to travel and he was unaware that she had her older twins Lena and Olivia and her younger son Jordan. She could tell by the look on his face that he was surprised to see so many new faces among the South Park crew even amongst the students of South Park elementary.
Everyone else was gathered by the school bus just outside the hotel they were to be staying at for the weekend. They were all waiting on her as she hadn't dared to get out of the car.
"Mary?" Barbrady had come to check on her. "Are you okay Hon?"
She sighed and reluctantly held out her hand. She needed help getting out of the car, she felt self conscious when their jaws dropped the minute they saw her. All of a sudden she was aware of how large she was. Looking at them filled her with dread. The last thing she wanted to do was go to a black tie event and make small talk with a bunch of people she didn't even like. She didn't think she'd make it through the night as her stomach churned and gurgled.
"W-who's the father?!" The minute he opened his mouth she wanted to punch him. Rage replaced dread as she clenched her fists and gritted her teeth. Unfortunately she had to bite her tongue and remain professional if she wanted to get to the hotel room quickly.
The Marsh kid was feeling it too. He buried his face in his arm with embarrassment. PC Principal boiled with rage and would at any minute explode and go on a PC war path over his stupid question.
She wrapped her arms around Barbrady's waist. "I see you've already met my husband."
Their jaws dropped. She wished her rival would keep his obnoxious mouth shut. "Y-you're together? Since when?"
She rolled her eyes and didn't answer his question. Her relationship with Barbrady and its duration were none of his business.
She glowered at her rival as he looked over the South Park crew. "That's a scandal. Why were you not recalled?"
She boiled with rage. It wasn't his place to ask. The people of South Park didn't care they were together. They were happy for them to be together. Everyone agreed that things in South Park had been running a lot more smoothly since she and her husband ran the town as a team. "They don't care about that."
Her rival was dumbfounded. He looked at everyone in the South Park crew like they had two heads. "You don't care?!"
She just wanted to get this over with. She wanted to lie down after spending so much time in the car. She needed a shower. She wanted to go to bed. There was plenty of time for him to ask his insulting questions at the stupid black tie dinner they had to attend later that evening.
"South Park works better this way." Linda Stotch explained.
"Where's Garrison?" Her rival asked quickly changing the subject.
Can we just check in now so I can go to bed? She thought with irritation. She wanted to throw up again. She needed to pee. Why did this have to drag on?
"You're seriously asking that question dude?" Stan Marsh was right on the money with that question. How could he not recognise President Garrison? Even Jimmy Falon mocked them as a city while Garrison was on his campaign trail.
"What?" His ignorance astounded her. She could already tell this trip was going to be hell. "He's not here. Where is he?"
"He's the fucking President of the United States!" even when she wasn't pregnant she had a short fuse especially when it came to stupid people. But, the hormones made her more irritable than normal.
"W-wait a minute?" She didn't know how much more of his stupidity she could take. "President Garrison is your 4th grade teacher?!"
"YES!" The South Park crew shouted simultaneously. They were just as embarrassed by his stupidity as she was.
She didn't understand his ignorance. She thought that as a politician and a voter that he would know it was that Garrison who ran for the Presidency. She made it her mission to know what her rival was doing throughout his campaign and she still insisted on knowing what he got up to in office since everything he did in the White House effected the whole country. She still called Garrison out on his behaviour and his stupidity online. She could no longer access his Twitter as he blocked her from reading his Tweets.
"Who are you?" He asked when he realised his rival and her officials thought he was stupid for not recognising Garrison. He looked at PC Principal as though he were an alien from out of space.
"This should be interesting?" She heard Stan Marsh whispering to Kyle Broflovski.
"PC Principal Bro." PC Principal politely introduced himself and shook her rival's hand. "I'm the new co-principal of South Park elementary."
"Where's Randy Marsh?" He asked when he noticed Randy was also missing from the group.
Randy used to be the coach of the South Park Cows football team, but he was promptly replaced as soon as he was apprehended. Her son took over and did a better job coaching the team. She hoped he would just leave it and not bring it up, but at the same time she expected it. Her stomach sank as she dreaded this conversation. She didn't want to be reminded of that night. She still had nightmares over the attack.
"He's been replaced."Alex explained to her relief. She hoped his response would be enough to appease her rival. "I'm the new coach of the South Park Cows football team."
"What happened to Randy Marsh?"He insisted on them giving him the details. "Why was he replaced? I want to hear this story."
"He went loopy and we locked him up, M'Kay."Mr. Mackey explained.
"Loopy?"The Middle Park Mayor and the football coach of the Middle Park team exchanged glanced. "What did he do?"
"I really want to hear this story."The Middle Park coach added with anticipation.
"Drop the subject!"She shouted at them. They were taken aback by her sudden outburst, but she didn't care. She didn't want to talk about that night and she didn't want other people discussing it in front of her and therefore reminding her of it either.
"What's the matter with you?"Like a lot of people that knew her well enough he was familiar with her temper, but at the same time he liked to antagonise her so she would react.
"I don't want to discuss this! I said, drop the subject!"She snapped at him with hostility.
"Does Randy getting locked up have to do with you?"He smirked at the dumbfounded expression on her face. "It does, doesn't it?"
"DROP IT!"She wanted to hit Mackey. Why couldn't he just leave it alone? Now her Middle Park rival wouldn't shut up about it.
"What happened?"He continued to press for details even though he knew it was the last thing she wanted to talk about.
"I don't want to talk about this."She wished he'd stop. She felt sick to her stomach and it wasn't just the morning sickness.
"Will someone tell me what happened?"Mayor Baxter demanded.
"Randy Marsh kidnapped and tried to rape our Mayor. M'Kay."Mackey explained to everyone's horror. He didn't seem to realise that he probably should've kept his mouth shut.
"Dude!"PC Principal was as horrified as everyone else. "Bro?! What the fuck Mackey?!"
"M'Kay."Mr. Mackey mumbled meekly. He shrank away from her and PC Principal as they glowered at him.
"Wow!"Mayor Baxter was dumbfounded along with everyone else in the Middle Park crew. "I didn't think Randy Marsh had it in him to be a pervert."
"DROP THE SUBJECT!" She screamed in frustration. The flashback she'd had in that moment disturbed her. Randy was on top of her and this time there was no rescue. She felt trapped as not only wouldn't they drop the subject that was making her uncomfortable they wouldn't let her leave. Why wouldn't they just stop?
"He was always an idiot."Mayor Baxter continued ignoring her pleas to stop the discussion. "I didn't think he'd be capable of anything like this? The fuck happened to him?"
"It was the member berries."Clearly Mr. Mackey couldn't help himself. He just couldn't keep his mouth shut.
"The fuck are member berries?!"Mayor Baxter asked with confusion.
"They're little berries that look like grapes. They remind people who eat them and drink wine made from them of the past. They turn people into complete assholes when they get addicted to them."Principal Victoria explained.
She sighed with exasperation and fought back tears as it was clear they weren't going to drop the subject. To make matters worse the Middle Park Police Chief was staring at her chest. She was despondent as she waddled away from the crowd as fast as her swollen ankles could take her. If she had to suffer through the dreaded black tie dinner she at least wanted a nap first.
