So I'm sure many of you have given up on me and my story…. I don't blame you… What you don't know is that in the time since I last posted ANYTHING on fanfiction my life has been completely turned upside down. I lost my job in Florida, and had to move back to snowy and freezing cold Pennsylvania. In that time (and this economy) I have had to get a total of 4 different jobs since moving. I'm down to two almost full-time jobs + starting my Masters' program. I know, this doesn't excuse my absence or neglectful attitude towards my writing, but I rarely have the time to find the washer and dryer to clean my clothes. On top of this, my family has lost way too many relatives. The only positive is that I have found my Edward. He has been my sanity and the one shining spot in my life. I truly am thankful for him and hope that he will inspire me to write endings to my stories on here.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters… they belong to the wonderful Ms. Stephenie Meyers.
BPOV
I hate this place.
Sure, it's scenic. Some would even say it's beautiful. My parents managed to get what some would call a phenomenal house. There's a yard with a pond in the back. Off to the side, a few miles or so is the ocean, and at night, you can sort of hear it. And my room…. Huge. walk in closet, my parents upgraded my small twin bed for a queen. New bedding to match the blue on the walls.
If I were any other girl…. in any other situation… with any other set of people left on the other side of the country…. If that were the case, then I'd tell you my parents were awesome and that this house, this town, this MOVE was soooooo worth it.
But I'm not any other girl… this situation sucks… and my amazing boyfriend is 3000 miles away. Oh god! He's 3000 miles away and there's nothing stopping him from moving on. Truthfully I'm torn. I want him to be happy… but I start to sob when I realize that in order for that to happen, he'll find someone else (and I know there are easily 250 girls at Forks High School willing to help him).
EPOV
There's nothing out there. But I stare anyway.
She's gone. My future is gone. Her parents don't want me in her life. It's because they know I'm not worthy of her, and I have told Bella as much, but still. I never knew it would feel this bad.
I don't know what's worse… the way I'm feeling or the way it felt to watch her break down in the car as Charlie drove her away from me. I failed her.
Not just today when she came to me begging me to believe her, but with Coach. I told Bella I wouldn't blame myself, but I can't stop thinking how different this first night of summer vacation would be if I had kept her safe like I told Chief Swan I would. Maybe she'd be out here on the balcony with me... Maybe we'd be warm in each other's arms… maybe….
But instead, I'm stuck here staring at the black forest…staring into nothing…and feeling numb without my heart on this side of the country.
