Chapter two

Tears

More days passed and I was still lying on my bed, I still hadn't eaten anything. Charlie was getting worried, I could tell, he wouldn't even let the Dr. Gerandy come into my room. I heard them discussing me sometimes; Dr. Gerandy started using words like catatonic. Once I would have known what it meant, once I would have cared. I had no emotion to spare.

After a week had passed my door opened and my Renée and Charlie walked into my room, I didn't pay them much attention until they started going through my clothes. It was then that I realised that they were packing a bag with all my summer clothes. For the first time in days I moved, I found myself sitting upright and silently watching them.

Charlie had noticed when I moved, he actually jumped even though I had made no noise.

"Bella, honey, Renée's taking you to Jacksonville," he said as he turned around to face me, "I thought you might like the sun."

I didn't realise I had moved until I found myself on the floor ripping the clothes out of the bag, screaming at my parents. There was no way that I was leaving Forks, this is where I had been happy, where my friends and family were, this is where the Cullen's were.

That thought made me forget that I was in a middle of a temper, that I was on the floor. The graze that I had been nursing in the past days ripped open into gaping hole that was red and inflamed.

The next that I saw was Renée was sitting on the floor next to me. I realised that she was wiping moisture from my cheeks. That's when I knew I had started crying.

I was useless, lying in a heap on the floor. Charlie helped Renée move me onto the bed and then left the room. She stayed with me, playing with my hair as I cried into the pillow. She stayed with me until I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning in my own bed; I knew I had slept a long time as was stiff and sore. Overnight I had descended into a protective shell of numbness. Without think I rose and dressed before going downstairs for breakfast.

The shock on Charlies face was apparent when I walked downstairs fully dressed that morning, no matter how hard he tried to hide it I could tell that he kept watching me, it was like he was waiting for me to fall into a dead faint or something.

I numbly got myself breakfast and sat down at the table without thinking about it. I knew that Charlie was still looking at me, I don't know whether he thought I was somehow miraculously better and had gotten over loosing… him… or if he was waiting for me to fall to pieces again. I know that I had completely freaked him but I'm pretty sure that Renée would have been able to convince him that I was better off in Forks after the fit I through the night before.

I slowly finished my breakfast and I was just cleaning my bowl when Charlie finally spoke.

"Bella, honey, are you ok?" he asked me cautiously, unsure of what my reaction would be.

I could feel myself freeze before answering.

"I'm fine Dad," I answered automatically realising that this was the first time since… he… left that I had actually talked to my father without flying into a temper. I could tell that there was something more that he wanted to say.

"Bella… I think you should go back to school, I think you need to see your friends," he finally said with hesitation clear in his voice. I could tell that he was watching me carefully again.

I didn't know what to say, I knew that my father was worried and I was going to send him crazy if he had to keep staying home from work to watch me. I also knew that he wouldn't go back to work until I went to school. It was then that I made up my mind that I would try to act normal for him, to save him from worry.

"OK Dad, I'll go back to school tomorrow, I miss Angela. Don't worry, I'm fine Dad, really," I told him. I could see that he was relieved that I was acting more normal.

I went back up to my room and started on the homework that I had been given last Friday. I hadn't worked on it at all and I figured I should have it ready to hand up when I went back to school.

I got myself a sandwich without thinking about it before getting back to homework. Charlie got pizza's for tea and we sat at the table to eat together. We ate in silence but it wasn't awkward, I could see that he was that he happy that I was still acting slightly normal.

After the meal I washed up the dishes before sitting with Charlie in front of the TV. I had finished all my homework and it was too early to go to bed. He was watching a game so I didn't have to make any effort to make conversation.

I excused myself as soon as it was a reasonable time to go to bed, I could feel that my numb shell was slipping slightly and I wanted to be on my own before falling to pieces. I managed to have a hot shower and fall into my bed before the tear in my chest ripped open with excruciating pain.

It was all I could do to curl up in a ball and hold myself together as the waved of pain rolled over me. I finally fell to sleep with tears still falling down my cheeks.

A/N

Please, please, please review, I really want to know know what you think and you review help me to keep writing.

I know it may not be the best fanfic ever written but I can improve if you give me your opinions and suggestions.

Thanx, Miss A Bella