(Chapter Two)
This cart was all to familiar to me. It was almost identical to the one that I rode in for the first Hunger Games that I participate in at the mere age of sixteen. That all was so long ago but in reality, it still seems like yesterday. Along with that, there was the Quarter Quell that I was forced to compete in because of President Snow and while I will never forget my first games, I will also never forget that one. I remember meeting Finnick there and realizing that I was wrong about him all along. Finnick was one of the most kind and caring people that I have ever met and that is why my son was named after him. I always think of how he was finally getting his life back together with Annie and how Annie was carrying their first child but he never got to see that. Finnick never was able to see his child grow like I was able to see mine and it's because he risked his life for me. I still haven't forgiven myself for that no matter how many times Peeta tells me it wasn't my fault. And then there is my sister, Prim. She was the most amazing girl I have ever met and throughout all of this, she grew so fast but now, she too is gone. I named Aster after her as a remembrance but it all just isn't right to me. I took her place in the games so that she could live because I loved her so much and let's face it, Prim was a better person than I was and the world needed her, not me. But then that fateful day came where she died in the explosions at President Snow's mansion. She died doing the right thing but didn't it defeat the purpose of me playing the first games? I fought to keep her alive but in the end she died anyways. I still blame myself for her death too. The nightmares of Finnick and Prim's deaths haunt me every night but it's not just their deaths. It's all of them...I stand in the dining cart of the train, staring into space when I feel a slight tug on my pants leg.
"Mom," says Blaise as I look down at him, "what are you thinking about?"
There is no way that I can tell him what I'm really thinking about because I can't scare him, so I lie. "I was just thinking about grandmother and how excited she will be to see us tomorrow when we arrive in District 13."
"I miss grandma so much. I wish that she would still live at home with us." sighed Blaise as he turned due to the sound of the door opening. I watch as he runs into Peeta's arms. I can't help but laugh at the sight of Peeta still holding onto Aster's hand and holding Blaise in one arm while all trying to balance with his leg. Peeta is such a fighter. He's finally become used to his leg after working so hard for months to get the hang of it. Sometimes he doesn't even need his cane. Watching him, it still amazes me how good of a father he is. He's much more affectionate to the children than I am. Don't get me wrong, I still show affection to my children and love them with all of my heart and make sure to show them that but sometimes seeing them hurts. Watching them reminds me of how close Prim and I were. Peeta is a better parent than I am.
"Mom says that grandma is going to visit us once we get to District 13!" says Blaise with a smile to Peeta and Aster. It's nice to see him smile. I want him to keep that smile for as long as he can before the games start.
"She most certainly will. I know that she misses you both." says Peeta.
My mother decided to stay in District 13 after the rebellion to work in the hospital and because after losing Prim on top of my father, District 12 was just too much for her to handle. Sometimes she will call me and see how all of us are doing but I remember one of her phone conversations so accurately that it gives me chills to think about it. It was late one night about six months after the rebellion was over and she called, frantic.
"Hello?" answered Peeta in a worried voice. No one ever called this late at night. I sat watching him. "Yeah, she's right here. Hold on." Peeta covered the end of the phone and called me over.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Katniss. I need you to listen to me very carefully." whispered my mothers voice from the other end.
"Mother, what's wrong? Why are you whispering? Is everything alright?"
"Just be quiet and listen to me. I can't talk loud for fear of someone hearing me but I needed to warn you. There's been talk in District 13 of a rise of a new Capitol. No one is allowed to leave the District. The moment I heard of the news I knew that everything was a lie and that we were back to square one. I tried to leave and come home to you but they have guards patrolling everywhere. My guess is that they don't want word of District 13 taking power to spread to the other Districts just yet. Do you know what this means, Katniss...?"
I stood there gripping the phone so hard that I was sure it would be crushed. I was frozen in place and it took all of my strength to turn my eyes towards Peeta. "What's wrong?" he mouthed.
"The games are back...aren't they?" I whispered to my mother.
The line was silent for a moment until I could hear my mother choke out the word 'yes'. "I needed to tell you so that if there was any chance of you escaping, you could."
"That's not likely. Just the other day guards started to patrol District 12. Peeta and I both started to get suspicious but thought that maybe it had something to do with checking on the Districts to see how everyone was holding up after the rebellion. I guess we were wrong.."
We talked for a little longer until my mother had to leave due to a new patient with bad wounds being brought into the hospital. That night I knew what was in store but I couldn't do anything to flee from it. I couldn't do anything to save Peeta and my children. I felt helpless.
"Katniss?" called Peeta. I quickly snapped around to see my family sitting at the table preparing their plates full of dinner food. "Come sit with us."
I nod and walk over sitting at the other end of the table across from Peeta.
"Are you feeling alright?" asks Peeta, his blue eyes looking at me with concern.
"Yes." I lie. "I'm fine. Let's talk strategy."
"I have a plan." says Aster through a mouth full of food.
"Well, I would love to hear that plan once you chew up all of that food." I say as I reach over and put a slop of potatoes on my plate.
Aster finishes and wipes her mouth off and looks at me intensely. "I know that you and Dad told me not to but I found an old tape of the games that you fought in and I've also seen clips of the newest games and one thing hasn't changed. Everyone still starts out on those metal plates."
"Go on." says Peeta as he leans back in his chair.
"Well what I was thinking was that once the sixty seconds was up, we would take off into the woods and meet at a designated spot."
"That would be a good plan accept for two things. One, we have no idea what type of arena we will be put into so we won't know a designated spot; and two, we will need weapons. I got lucky during the first games I competed in and happened to get a bow and arrow after a girl died in front of my eyes with one. You're not always going to be that lucky." I say.
"Are we going to starve?" asks Blaise with worry.
"No, we wont starve. Your mother can hunt and she can explain to you what types of plants and berries that you can eat. But Aster, that was a good try at making a plan. Let's keep brainstorming." says Peeta.
Each team is supposed to be supplied with a mentor but the only one that could be our mentor is Haymitch and he is no longer with us. I won't forget the day when I walked over to his house in the Victor's Village to see if he wanted to join us for dinner. I knew that he wouldn't want to but Peeta insisted that I go since Greasy Sae and himself had made a rather large dinner. I knew there was no point in knocking so I opened the door and walked in. Ever since Gale left for District 2 and took his family with him, Haymitch's house was as dirty as ever. I couldn't ignore the horrible smell coming from the sitting room so I cautiously stepped inside and froze as I saw a limp hand hanging over the couch. I didn't need to walk any closer because I knew what I would find but I did anyways only to be confronted with what I already knew. I wasn't exactly sure how long he had been there but it was long enough to cause an odor. I didn't cry but I felt a horrible stinging in my chest and my legs became wobbly. Haymitch and I had many moments where we didn't get along but if it wasn't for him, I would be dead and so would Peeta. I never said it to his face but I cared for him greatly and so did my children. He sobered up for quite some time after the rebellion and spent a lot of time with my family but then he relapsed and started drinking again. I guess his last drink was too much. I ran back home to get Peeta and a few days later we buried him. I wish he was still here because I secretly miss him but I also know that we could use him help as a mentor. Peeta and I could be mentors but with us both fighting, how are we supposed to get sponsors? I guess it's up to Valeria to help us.
"I think we've done enough brainstorming for one day." says Peeta as he stands up and walks over to me, resting his hands on my shoulders. "It's bedtime. We've got a big, big, big, day ahead of us tomorrow." I can't help but smile at his impression of Effie.
"Your father's right." I say and stand up too. "Tomorrow afternoon we'll be arriving in District 13. We'll talk more tomorrow at breakfast."
Peeta and I both hug them and kiss them before they make their way off to their rooms for the night.
"I still can't get over how strong Aster is with all of this. She's so much like you, it's ridiculous." says Peeta as we walk to our room.
"She should be more like you." I say as I slip out of my clothes and step into a white nightgown waiting on the bed. Peeta begins to undress too. Sometimes I still get a little shy seeing him with no clothes on which is stupid I guess seeing as we're married and have children.
"Why do you say that?" he asks as he removes his metal leg and scoots into bed next to me. He wraps his arm around my body and I rest my head on his bare chest.
"Because...I'm not a good person." I say. "You are."
"Katniss Mellark," starts Peeta. Sometimes I can't believe that I have his last name. He deserves better than me. "You are a good person. You risked your life for your family and me, you sacrificed so much to be where you are today. I know that it's hard to believe but you are a good person."
"You deserve better you know." I say.
"I don't want better because it doesn't get any better. You're all that I want and all that I've ever wanted. My life with you and our children is enough for me."
I can't help but think that what will happen to him and myself if one of them or both of our children dies in these games. Wait, what am I saying? I can't think like that. We're going to win and we're going to come out alive...even if it means another rebellion to do it.
"Goodnight, Peeta." I say as I pull myself closer to him.
"Goodnight, Katniss."
The nightmares don't leave me yet again. This time it's not about all of the people that have died for me but it's about someone who left me. That someone is Gale and in this nightmare, I am fighting him in the games and he is killing me.
Well, there you go. Chapter 2. I hope that you all enjoyed it! Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas, please let me know! I love the feedback and hearing from yall. Thank you for reading and happy readings! ~ Lindsey
