WHASSUP MY BITCHES?

It's Joshua Hotz (like hotter than you but not as hot as your motha) and I'm in the fucking house man or men or whatever. Now Dr. Loni he's this little bitch who's trying to curb on my style, like foreals man, I mean who does he think he is? I'm Joshua Hotz - the name says it all. Now you may be thinking that I'm some wannabe gangsta but let me tell you something, I am foreal. Like last week I fucking stole my sister's Barbies and hung them over the fucking toilet - I know what you're thinking, shit that boy's cold and effing HARDCORE hood, but it's aight. The ladies like them bad boys.

So I guess I'm supposed to like talk about my feelings like I'm some little pansy (no I am not, freaking eff Derrick, he lies man, he lies). You can't get more ghetto than me, I mean how am I supposed hold my head up if I have a fucking diary? What next you want me to run around with My Little Pony undies? Awh, hell no.

I only have a few problems one of them being when people don't take me seriously, like foreals, I am hood no matter what they say and words can't bring me down. Fuck yeah (shit I just quoted a chick song). Anyways man I am manly, you may be thinking 'why the hell is a hood like him wearing a polo?' Let me tell you something, the ladies like them polos. They're all like "Oh Joshy Poo, your polo is so cute!" and then they think just because you wear clothes by the same designer you have some weird like telepathic connection and they're all "Oh Joshy Poo, my last boyfriend broke up with me, make-out with me to help me get over my feelings!" And I'm like aight I mean tissues would work too and maybe a chick flick but if you wanna taste of the Josh Man then go ahead, it's coo.

Oh and there's this girl, Claire, shit that girl has probs man, probs. She follows my hood and me and she tries handing us little pocket bibles. I mean if I can't read my school books you think I'm going to read this willingly? I mean sure I listen to the 'Boss Man' and all but girl you're the one who needs his help not me.

Then there's Alicia, oh that girl is fine. Like fine print on a parking ticket (no I didn't look that up). I asked her out like twice and she shot me down, like Jay Sean. I'm like shit, foreals? It's kay though, she just can't handle the charm of my popped collars, neither can Claire, it's coo though, they'll both fall for the Hotz.

So let's get to the background history of how this hot young thing came to be (no not Alicia or Claire, I'm talkin' about moi, Joshua Hotz). My parents met at like Spain or something and then they got married did the deed and then voila, Joshua Hotz.

Then my sister was born and blah blah blah, now she does my chores (I really do not see the point man, we have a fucking housekeeper). The bitch is kickin' it though, I mean you know how many chicks would want to do my chores? They'd be all "Oh Joshy Poo let me do your chores for you!" and I'd be like get in line.

Aight so I know you peeps are thinkin' 'man a cool kid like this must have some straight up gangsta friends' but nah, they're too "cool" for the thug life- little effers. So first up is Derrick Harrington, the kid's a douche, always poking at my nonexistent femininity, but it's coo. Then there's Cam Fisher, honestly the boy seems like he's depressed half the time, temper, temper, but it's coo. Then there's Kemp Hurley, the kid can't come to school not wasted, like honestly man you tryin' to die? but it's coo. Then there's Chris Plovert, he is such a nerd, I mean really bro? You want a life? But it's coo, really. Last is Griffin, I don't even know why he hangs with us, he doesn't talk he just sits around, but it's coo, I'm fine (literally babes) .

(Hm, so what gangster words can I use now? Shit this is getting hard). So yah that's my life on a fucking page Loni, L Dawg. Yah, now I'm gonna go look for my hood brothas and we gonna go cause some trouble yo.

Fuck you,

-Joshua Hotz (like hotter than you but not as hot as your motha)
Peace.


so there's josh for you, i've had this one written up for a while too but i didn't know if i should publish it.
he's not really 'gangsta' if you didn't already get that. thanks for all your reviews on the last chapter (;
review ? (=