Chapter 2: Distance

"Call me as soon as you land!"

Charlotte struggled not to roll her eyes as her aunt bombarded her with anxious, last minute questions.

"Yes, Aunt Lottie."

"You have enough cash for a cab?"

She sighed heavily.

"Aunt Charlotte," she started. Her aunt did not like being addressed this way, but it usually got the point across. "I'm fine. I have more than enough money for a cab and anything else I might need. Besides, you and Olly will be there in less than a week, and Casey is coming in tomorrow."

Her aunt smiled at her sadly and pulled her into a tight hug, practically squeezing the life out of her.

"Oh, sugar. I know you'll be just fine; you always have been. Although, I wish you would just move down here-"

"I'm not moving down here, Aunt Lottie. My life is in New York! But I appreciate the offer, and I promise I will visit more often, but my answer is no."

Charlotte turned towards her cousin, who was next to his mother. They were standing in the terminal, saying their goodbyes to Charlotte before she went through security. Impatient travelers bustled around the airport, pushing their way across the terminal to their various gates or out onto the road where they waited for cabs. Charlotte's aunt and cousin flew often enough, but flying down here had been the first time Charlotte had flown since she was 10, which resulted in her being a little nervous. Oliver must have picked up on her nerves, because he pulled her into a hug.

"You'll be alright, Charlie. Make sure you take care of yourself until I get there. Then we can get back to relaxing."

"Thanks Olly," she said, and smiled at him affectionately.

He smiled back and pecked her cheek, which took some of the stress of flying and going back home off her shoulders for a little while. Olly always had the ability to calm her down, ever since they were little. They just knew each other that well. Charlotte sighed and turned away, walking towards security. Just before she went through, she turned around and saw them watching her, Aunt Lottie sniffling miserably. Charlotte gave them a little wave, which only Olly returned, then she turned away and fell into the security line. The quicker she got this flight over with the better.

Josh was staring blankly across the restaurant while Conner babbled on about some new technology that was being released next month. But even a voice as loud as Conner's was lost in the soft babble of conversation that drifted through the restaurant. He had dragged Conner out on a double date to try and distract him from the proximity of graduation, but so far, it wasn't working. There was a girl on his right who was exactly Charlotte's opposite: blonde, wavy hair falling softly around her shoulders, which were tanned an exotic caramel color. She had striking gray eyes that were honestly breathtaking, and she was rail thin.

Immediately after returning from North Carolina two days ago, Josh had met Verona at a local Starbucks. She had approached him and boldly struck up a conversation, surprising him. In a poor attempt to get his mind off of Charlotte wrapped in the arms of the mystery man, he quickly invited her to dinner. But now, looking at her only made him long for Charlotte's chocolate colored eyes, long brown hair, and soft curves. Verona was friendly enough, and she held enough intelligence that they never had a boring conversation, but it all boiled down to Charlotte, and Verona wasn't her.

Josh had made the quick decision to invite Conner along to try and dull the awkwardness, and Conner jumped at the opportunity for a double date. He had brought along a gorgeous redhead with close cropped hair and pale blue eyes, and they seemed to really be hitting it off. But instead of dulling the awkwardness, Conner was exacerbating it.

"Aren't you going to eat, Josh?"

Verona's grip on his arm was light enough to show affection, but strong enough to bring him back down to earth. He looked at her, then down at his steak and green beans, which he had hardly touched. His appetite had been waning since Charlotte left, and tonight was no exception.

"I'm not really hungry."

She leaned into him, whispering into his ear softly.

"Well, I am, and I need you too eat so you can feed me later."

Josh stilled as the words passed from her lips to his ear. If Verona wasn't coming onto him, then he really was going crazy. As if to confirm his suspicions, her other hand planted itself onto his knee, slowly drifting up towards his hip. He suddenly jerked away from her, standing up from the table and flushing. Conner and his date stopped giggling and looked at him, while Verona stared at him in surprise.

"I-please excuse me. I need to use the men's room."

He disappeared across the restaurant and into the bathroom, where he quickly turned on the cold water to wet his face with. He ran his hands through his hair and took deep breaths, leaning against the counter. He caught his reflection: his face was flushed and his hazel eyes were wild. What was he thinking, inviting another girl to dinner with him? Verona obviously wanted to jump him, and while she was undoubtedly attractive, he still felt committed to Charlotte, even though they were no longer together. What is wrong with me? he thought. Old Josh would have slept with several women by now to move on, but New Josh was still hung up on her, unwilling to give up so easily.

"What's going on, Josh?"

Josh turned to see Conner closing and locking the bathroom door behind him. His brother's usual joking demeanor was gone. For once, he only looked concerned.

"It's...it's nothing, Conner. Just something I ate upset my stomach."

The look on Conner's face reeked of disbelief.

"Josh, you didn't eat anything. Besides, I know you better than that. What's wrong? Is it Verona?"

Josh scrubbed his hands over his face.

"No, it's not Verona. She's...she's great and all, but she's just-"

"She's not Charlotte."

Josh looked up at his brother who was wearing a look of sympathy. He was immediately angry; he didn't want his little brother's sympathy. He's only trying to help, a voice said. That's what she would say, if she were here. I must really be going crazy if I'm hearing voices, Josh thought. But he calmed down anyway, taking a deep breath.

"No, she's not Charlotte. Look, Conner. I know you're trying to make me feel better. But I'll be fine. Verona just shocked me, is all. I wasn't expecting her to come onto me so suddenly."

Conner leaned against the door, shaking his head.

"This wasn't a good idea, Josh. You're killing yourself, I can see it. You hardly eat, you barely sleep. You've lost like ten pounds since she left, but you don't do anything. I can't remember the last time you went for a run. And then when I do get you to go out, you aren't with me. Not really. You adopt a blank stare that says you're somewhere else. You need to get her back. She's the only person in the world that can fix you. I know she loves you, Josh. I've never seen anyone look at you the way she did."

Josh's jaw clenched and unclenched as wild thoughts ran through his head. He knew his brother was right, but he didn't know what to do. He had never in his life had to get a girl back. They came to him, and then he left when he was done. He had never wanted any of them back, and even if he had, they would usually come crawling back the moment he beckoned them. This was different. Way different.

"I don't know what to do."

Conner straightened up from the door, unlocking it.

"Yes, you do. But first, you need to get yourself better. Graduation is in a week, Josh, and you know she'll be here. Let's get through tonight, and then we'll start tomorrow."

Nodding, Josh followed his brother out of the bathroom. Now that he had the semblance of a plan, he felt slightly more balanced. There was still hope.

At first, she was lost.

Charlotte had landed in New York exactly on time. But now that she was in the cab, she didn't know where to tell the driver to take her. Her old apartment was rented out already, and she wasn't ready for the condo. She had no idea if Josh was there, and she didn't want to go alone if he was.

"Miss?"

The driver of the cab saved her from drowning in her own memories, and she spoke the first address that came to her mind without thinking: the address of Josh's city apartment. She quickly tried to take it back, but the driver had already pulled into traffic and turned up the radio. Her heart thudded nervously, but then she just as quickly calmed down. It would be fine. Just because the driver was taking her to the building didn't mean that she would be at his apartment. That was on the 23rd floor, no where near the lobby. Besides, she knew her way around that area, and she could easily find a nearby hotel or something to stay in until Casey arrived the following day.

But the closer she got to the downtown area, the closer she got to an anxiety attack. She debated telling the cab driver to just pull over at the next curb, but then she scolded herself. If she couldn't even go to his apartment building, how would she be able to handle seeing him at graduation? So she allowed the cab ride to continue, pulling her through traffic towards her destination. By the time the cab was pulling over, she was emotionally exhausted and had to gather up the energy to pay the driver and slide out of the cab.

She stood on the busy New York street, staring up the North side of the building. People rushed by, jostling her as they went to their various destinations, but Charlotte could only stare. A few feet. That's how far she'd have to travel to the entrance, then she would be on the elevator, traveling up to his apartment which she knew there was no turning back from. It would be so easy to go back to how things were; she knew she wanted nothing more...

No. She couldn't. He probably hated her. After she left, he called her once. One time, no more. He left her a voice mail that almost had her on a return flight back to him, but she couldn't do it. After that, he never contacted her again. She received a few correspondences from Conner; those were easy though. He simply wanted to know if she was safe and being well cared for, wherever she was. She honestly believed that he was only concerned for her well-being, and wouldn't pry, so she answered his email in detail, telling him about the aunt she was staying with in Charleston who was very well off, and who would have her spoiled before graduation. After that, he emailed her back with a sigh of relief and a wish of good luck. Charlotte never responded, and Conner never sent another one. After that, there was nothing from her old life. Just the occasional call or email from Casey, who was now back home.

Standing in front of his building now made everything more real, and much more difficult. She had been weighing the pros and cons of contacting Josh, when she was bumped roughly by a passing pedestrian, who didn't even stop to apologize. The sudden push brought Charlotte back down to the sidewalk, and with a heavy sigh, she started on her way to the nearest hotel.

In reality, there was one kiddy-corner to Josh's building, but she wasn't going to do that to herself. It would be hard enough to sleep while in the same city as him, not knowing what he was doing with whom, let alone trying to sleep directly across the street from him. Instead, she chose a nice hotel a block and a half down in Greenwich, called Larchmont Hotel. It was affordable, for a hotel in the city, but it was also close to campus and included a continental breakfast, which was a huge plus. She didn't need much room, so she paid for two nights in a single room, then lugged her huge suitcase (stuffed full from shopping with Aunt Lottie) up to her room, and collapsed on the bed.

She quickly called her aunt and Casey, telling them where she was at and that she was safe. Then she leaned against the pillow, sighing deeply. She was exhausted. Between leaving her aunt and cousin, the flight back, the emotional roller coaster in the taxi, and then lugging her bag a block and a half to the hotel, she desperately needed some sleep. All she wanted was a hot shower, but the room didn't have one, so she just washed up a bit in the sink and pulled on her pajamas. It was still early, barely five o'clock, but she decided to turn in for the night. Casey would be here tomorrow, and she knew that would be a fiasco. Shutting off her little lamp, she fell onto the pillow, nearly asleep before her head hit it.

"No."

Josh was sitting at his dining room table with Conner, discussing plans to get Charlotte back over a drink. It was late, nearly two in the morning, and Conner had been throwing ridiculous ideas at Josh all night.

"Just one phone call. Or even a text! It would make things way easier for both of you."

"Absolutely not. She clearly doesn't want to talk to me, otherwise she would have contacted me at some point during the last three months. And how would it make this any easier?"

"It just would. How do you think you're going to handle seeing her at graduation? It's in less than a week, Josh, and the tension you feel now is just going to get worse between now and then."

Josh looked away and sipped his whiskey. He knew Conner had a point, but he didn't want to listen to him. Contacting Charlotte was all that had occupied his mind since she left, but he also knew that doing so could completely ruin his chances with getting her back.

"I don't know. But I will, ok? I've handled being without her this long, I'll make it through a couple hours."

His brother sighed in frustration and poured himself another drink. For a while, the only noise between them was the sound of traffic on the street below, which never ceased to exist in the city. Even this high up it was constantly audible. Josh finished his drink and set it down quietly on the table. Pushing his chair back, he stood from the table, deciding to go to bed. Since Conner's trip to New York had occupied him much longer than he anticipated, Josh had allowed him to abandon his hotel room in favor of Josh's guest room instead.

"Listen, I'm going to head to bed. Just leave your glass there when you're done, we can get them in the morning."

The end of his sentence was interrupted by Conner's phone, ringing loudly as it cut through the silence of the apartment. Josh hovered by his chair, curious who would be calling his brother at two in the morning. Conner glanced at the caller ID, frowned and placed the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

Josh couldn't discern any words from the other end, but he was able to grasp that the caller was speaking frantically. He watched his brother's eyes shift around nervously as he listened, then he nodded curtly and stood from the table.

"Alright, I'll leave as soon as I can. Thank you."

He hung up the phone and stood from the table, placing his hands on the back of his chair, as if gripping it for support.

"What is it?" Josh asked.

"It's Dad. He's had a severe stroke and he's in the hospital." Josh swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat as Conner looked him in the eye. "They don't know how long he has."

Josh felt himself become light headed as his heart raced. His dad and him rarely got along after their mother passed away, and they hadn't spoken in years. Now he was dying. Really dying and Josh might not get the chance to speak to him again.

"Are you going?" He asked Conner in a dead voice.

Conner nodded. "Josh, you need to come with me."

He felt his hands reach for the chair behind him and lower himself down into it, though he didn't recall actually thinking about moving. He wanted to go with Conner, but he knew it was impossible.

"I can't, Conner. You said yourself that graduation is in less than a week, my office is flooded with final papers to grade and preparations to make. I can't leave right now, it wouldn't be fair to my students. I can come Sunday. Immediately after commencement I'll jump on the first plane home."

Conner gripped the chair tighter and Josh swore he could here the wood compressing under his brother's grip.

"He may not have that long, Josh."

"I know, but...I can't. Not now." He looked at Conner, who was leaning into the chair like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "Just...don't worry. I'll be there as soon as I can. Besides, Dad's a fighter. He always was a stubborn bastard. He won't die without getting the chance to remind me that I'm a disappointment one more time."

Conner smiled wanly and sighed.

"Fine. But right after graduation."

Josh nodded in silent agreement as Conner rushed past him into the guest room to pack his small bag. Josh continued to sit at the table, lost in thought as the sounds of rushed packing reached his ears from across the apartment. Suddenly, Conner was at his side again.

"Do you need a lift to the airport?" he asked quietly.

"No, I have a cab waiting." Josh looked up at him but stayed where he was. His brother could handle himself perfectly fine. Conner began walking hastily toward the door, yelling at Josh over his shoulder as he went.

"One week, Josh. That's all you get. If you're not there by Sunday then I'm sending someone for you, and they won't take no for an answer."

Josh nodded again, even though his brother couldn't see him. "Have a safe flight," He called after him. But the only answer was the sound of the door snapping shut, and once again, Josh was alone.