Disclaimer: I don't own Phineas and Ferb or any of its characters, I do, however, own Mr. Bonesworth. And the poems. If you want to use this one or the one from the last chapter, please ask me.

FERB'S POV

The sonnet that Phineas wrote greatly disturbs me: (flashback-

Looking down at his bleeding wrist, he laughs.

The red leaking from the wound is his life,

It is leaving him, because of the knife,

Admiring his wrist, he stabs his calf.

Leftover scars, reminding him to cry,

The world is mean, why can't it let him be,

The blood runs faster, why can you not see?

His vision is fuzzy, why can't he die?

The blade is sharp and cold against his skin,

It is resting now, but he can still feel,

The remembrance of the blood, it was real,

Hating life, but still knowing it's a sin.

Wishing to die, his living is a joke,

One last slash, it will work, slitting his throat.)

When did he start thinking like that? I mean, sure he wears dark clothes now and he's all pale but when did he start thinking about suicide? He's quiet now, but is he suicidal? I never thought of Phineas as the suicidal type.

I'm over at Vanessa's house, she's trying to tell her mother about her father's newest ploy. I honestly, don't believe her, I mean come on, a platypus foiling all of his plans? I happen to own a platypus, and I know first hand that they don't do anything. But, I love her, so what can I do? I want to talk to Phineas about his sonnet, but he was in the counselors office the rest of the day and I haven't seen him since he was sent. He might be at home by now, I could talk to him unless he avoids me, as usual.

"Hey Ferb, what's on your mind?" Vanessa asked him as she sits down next to him and he wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"Phineas wrote a sonnet today that kind of disturbed me. It was about a guy committing suicide." Ferb sighed. "I want to talk to him about it, but lately he's been ignoring me and I don't know why."

"Well, you can talk to the counselor-"

"Yeah, what good would that do?" Ferb asked exasperatedly.

"And he can make Phineas talk to you" Vanessa continued as if Ferb hadn't interrupted her.

"A counselor can do that?" as Vanessa nodded her head he smiled, then frowned, "yeah but would he be in the room or would he leave and let me and Phineas work it out by ourselves?" Vanessa was still nodding as Ferb's smile grew and he stood up, bent down and kissed her on the lips, then ran out the door calling after him that he'd see her later. She laughed as she went back into the kitchen and tries to get her mother to believe her about her father.

PHINEAS'S POV

The stupid English teacher sent me to the counselor, he said we could write the sonnet on anything. The counselor, Mr. Bonesworth, then kept me in there the whole day making me talk to him about my life. My goal was to just give him simple yes and no answers, but that reverse psychology stuff works on me every time, and I found myself explaining to him about my dreams and feelings for Ferb. When I finished telling him all that, instead of being grossed out like he should be, he started psyching me on how I shouldn't bundle up my emotions and that I should tell Ferb how I feel, regardless of the problems it will bring up with him and Vanessa, and in our home and how much it will kill me just to hear it out loud, I already know that I don't stand a chance.

When the last bell of the day rang, I went to my locker, dumped my books and went to the park. Isabella caught up with me while I was there, and asked me what I was doing. I wasn't really in the mood to talk with her, so I didn't answer, I just sat on the swing and thought about what Mr. Bonesworth said. If I do tell Ferb how I feel, he'll be disgusted, but what if by some miracle he does feel the same way, what would happen with Vanessa? What would he say to her? He sighed as he realized he was getting his hopes up. What would I say? How would I say it? If I just come right out and tell him I love him, what would he do? What if he never talks to me again? I need more advice.

"And what about that sonnet you wrote today? What was up with that? Where did you get those thoughts from? I won't lie to you Phineas it scared me a lot when you read that, and what did Mr. Bonesworth tell you? And did you-?"

"Isabella, how do you tell someone you love them when you know they don't feel the same way?" Phineas asked, cutting her off.

Isabella was quiet for a few seconds. "Well, umm really all you should do is tell the truth. Just walk up to the person and tell them how you feel, and if speech evades you, then tell them with actions rather than with speech." she smiled proudly, happy that she had thought that up all on her own.

If I just do that, he'll come up with some excuse to stay away from me. "But what if you don't really want to tell them because your afraid that they will never talk to you again and don't like you anymore?" Phineas was panicking now, what if Ferb just gets up and walks right out of his life, he had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to turn into the guy from his sonnet.

"Well, if you think about it, then your going to find so many reasons not to tell them how you feel and you'll never tell them, all you have to do is clear your mind and speak. If you think then all you'll do is be filled with negative, all you need is one positive thought and clear your mind of all negative ones." Isabella smiled at him softly and said, "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm in love with someone, but I'm positive that they don't feel the same way and if I tell them then all they'll do is run away and never think of me the same way again! I don't think that I could stand that, no, wait, I KNOW that I couldn't stand that!" Phineas sighed as he thought of Ferb giving him a look that just screamed disgust.

"Phineas, that's your problem. All you do is think of the outcome. Do you ever think about their thoughts? They might like you, but they could turn you down because they think it's for your own good." Isabella sighed, "I have to go, my mom doesn't like it when I'm late for dinner."

As she walked away Phineas started to try and think positive, " Isabella?"

She turned around, hope filling her eyes, "yes, Phineas?"

"Thanks" he smiled as she sighed despair hanging high over her head as she smiled back.

"Your welcome. Anytime you need advice, call me." She said and walked home.

Phineas looks out at the park as she walks away, thinking about ways to tell Ferb about his feelings. 'Well you see Ferb, you may have noticed that lately I've been ignoring you, it's because I love you, but I didn't want to cause problems between you and Vanessa.' Oh, yeah. That sounds great! I can just imagine his facial expression now. If he knew how I felt, there would be no problems because he'd pick her either way.

He'd been out there for a few hours now and it was getting dark, so he headed home to get something to eat. As he walked through the door his mom stood up and asked where he'd been. He said something about the park and went into the kitchen, made himself some eggs and toast, then went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. As he was pulling his pajama top over his head, he started to feel a little dizzy. He then made his way to his room where Ferb was sitting up,

"Phineas, can we talk?" Ferb asked not looking very hopeful.

Phineas looked at his green-haired step brother, thinking about all that he had talked about with Mr. Bonesworth and Isabella. Sighing, he turned to his bed, "I'm pretty tired Ferb. It can wait can't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it can." Ferb sighed as Phineas laid down and covered his head to block out the light.

***********************************************************

Clothes falling on the floor, rolling around on the bed, bodies tangled together, tongues wrestling, a large thing filling a small entrance, moans filling the room, heavy breathing, opening of a mouth to call out-

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Sitting up in bed, he makes his way to the bathroom to do his normal morning routine. As he was showering he started to think, if I'm going to get the cold shoulder from Ferb for the rest of my life, then I should hang with him for a little while first.

He went into his room, grabbed his backpack and went into the kitchen to grab some breakfast, something that he hadn't done since he started to avoid Ferb. He ate breakfast and then waited for Ferb to make an appearance in the kitchen. After about twenty minutes Ferb arrived, and sat down to have some cheerios. If he was surprised to see me, he didn't say anything. He still didn't say anything as he stood up to walk to school and I followed him, walking by his side. It was a comfortable silence, well at least to me it seemed so. Then, of course it had to be interrupted, Vanessa in all her dark glory walked over to Ferb, took his hand and kissed him on his lips. As his face transformed into a smile, my chest started to press in on me, my knees started to go weak, but I just looked down and continued walking.

FERB'S POV

I got up to the sound of my alarm clock, showered and walked into the kitchen for my cheerios. As I walked in, Phineas was sitting there I wondered what he was doing, but I didn't want to ask incase he left. So I ate in silence, and walked out the door on my way to school, and Phineas followed me as if that was what he wanted to do. I was surprised and kind of hopeful that he might want to talk, but I wouldn't know because just as it seemed to be getting more comfortable between us, Vanessa arrived and Phineas seemed to go distant again. So maybe, it was my fault that he doesn't talk that much anymore, I pay more attention to her than to him he might be upset because of that. I need to talk to him, I have to talk to Mr. Bonesworth.

"Hey, Ferb I have to talk to you." Vanessa said to me dragging me away from Phineas. He didn't have time to look back because the words out of her mouth stopped him, " Ferb, I think I know why Phineas isn't talking to you or anybody that much." as his eyes widened and he opened his mouth to ask why, she said, "he's in love with you."

"WHAT?! Vanessa, I love you and I know you have some issues with your father, but Phineas is NOT in love with me! He and Isabella are getting closer, haven't you noticed?" Ferb was incredulous, why would she think Phineas loves me? He watched as Vanessa shook her head, a frown on her face.

"There is nothing going on with Isabella and Phineas. She may think that, but he obviously doesn't think of her in that way and you said so yourself that he went quiet after we got together. And leave my father out of this!"

"No, he was distant before then." Ferb sighed not sure where she got these thoughts from.

"Actually, he got distant after you told him about me, didn't he? Then he started to get closer to Isabella, but then he went quiet and ignored everyone." Vanessa gave him a small smile, wondering how he was taking this.

Ferb, however was now lost in his thoughts. It was true that after he had told Phineas about how he thought he was in love with Vanessa even before he actually met her, Phineas had grown closer to Isabella and then more silent everyday. But, that doesn't mean that Phineas, my step-BROTHER is in love with me. Maybe he just doesn't like Vanessa, he can't love me, we are guys. He's straight, I know that. But, what if he does love me? How does he go through the day with me having a girlfriend and calling her everyday? But that can't be right, he doesn't love me.

"I'll talk to you later Vanessa, I have to get to school." Ferb sighed as he walked to school, trying not to think about her sympathetic smile.

His mind was still a blur as he walked through the halls on his way to Mr. Bonesworth's office . He walked in and looked at the guy, middle-aged, balding, ugly brown suit, crooked smile, always in the mood for a chat.

"Ahh Ferb, have a seat. What can I do for you today?" He always seemed so happy to see people, it's impossible to tell if he's actually upset.

"I heard that if I want to talk to someone, I can do it in your office. But I want to talk to them alone." Ferb was looking at the counselor seeing his reaction.

"Yes, that's correct, I can set that up for you. Who is it that you want to talk to?" Mr. Bonesworth asked as he picked up the phone ready to call the person in, though he seemed to already know who it was.

"Phineas, my step-brother." Ferb watched as Mr. Bonesworth dialed the number that would lead to Phineas to come down to this office so Ferb can ask him his motives for avoiding him. It took five minutes for Phineas to get there and then another three for Mr. Bonesworth to explain to Phineas what Ferb wanted to do, and then it took two minutes for Mr. Bonesworth to get his stuff and leave the room. Phineas looked at Ferb questioningly but now, Ferb was at a loss for words.

Do I love him? He is a big part of my life, it might actually work.

"Ferb? Are you ok?" Phineas asked, sounding rather out of place.

The sound of his voice made Ferb mentally shake himself, not believing what he had just been thinking. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Listen Phineas, I want to know why your avoiding me and why you never talk to me even when we are together."

There was a silence and then, "I don't know what you mean, Ferb."

"Don't give me that Phineas! I know that there is something going on. Is, is it Vanessa? Do you not like her?"

"Ferb, I think that Vanessa is great, she makes you happy. That's good, I like it when your happy." Phineas was looking down at his feet now, a soft blush settling on his cheeks, making Ferb sigh as he sat down across from Phineas.

"Is it, I mean," sigh, "Vanessa has a um theory. I think that it's ridiculous but, maybe it's right. I don't know." Ferb felt like a blabbering fool.

"What's her theory?" Phineas sounded a little nervous.

"Is it possible that you may, um be in love with me?" Ferb could feel his cheeks burning, he was shocked that they were still there. He pulled himself out of his mental reverie to look up at a flaming red face that was sputtering out random things. "Phineas?"

He looked up at me his eyes were watering, his face was still red, but his voice was even, "yes, I'm in love with you Ferb. I've been for a while now, I never told you because well one, you're my step brother and two your with Vanessa and three, I was afraid that you'd never talk to me again."

Ferb was shocked, he thought that I would never talk to him again? Is he insane? He's my brother! Step-brother yes, but we're guys so this is wrong. The fluttering in my chest at the way he looks so torn up right now, the tightening in my stomach, I might feel the same way. But wait, I can't! I'm in love with Vanessa, she's my shining star in a dark cold night. What can I say to this? Tell him, that I'm not going to walk away? Tell him, I love him, but I love Vanessa more? We can't be together. We're practically related!

"Ferb? I- I'm sorry! I didn't want to tell you. I wanted us to seem normal, brothers like we're supposed to be. But, I knew I had to tell you. It's selfish of me, but I don't like what ifs." Phineas said, then lurched forward, grabbed me by my shoulders, and kissed me full on the lips!

The kiss was rough but passionate, filled with emotions that he had obviously been bottling up. I tried not to like it, but I couldn't help but get lost in the kiss meeting his tongue half way and kissing him back with everything I had. This kiss is so much better than the ones I share with Vanessa!

Vanessa.

I broke the kiss, I turned to go, but not before I saw the his face, so lost and confused he looked! I didn't stop though, I couldn't. I have a girlfriend. I love her, not my step- brother. I can't! I ran from the room, the building. I wanted to run from my life! But I couldn't, it was either, Phineas, Vanessa, or death. I love life too much to give it up, I don't want to lose Phineas, I'm in love with Vanessa. I know that, but I don't know who to choose! I don't know if I want to choose.

Ferb made his way over to the park, sitting beneath a tree and seeing a Pentium poem etched into it,

I love him, but he loves her

I may be too late, but he doesn't know

Our days used to be filled with laughter

He's now with her, and I've never felt so low.

I may be too late, but he doesn't know

I don't tell him, because of fear

He's now with her, and I've never felt so low

If I tell him, will he still be here?

I don't tell him because of fear

I need him so much, but I know its wrong

If I tell him, will he still be here?

When I tell him he'll leave, it wont take long.

I need him so much, but I know its wrong

I don't want to see his look of disgust

When I tell him he'll leave, it wont take long

I love him a lot, but his reaction I don't trust.

I don't want to see his look of disgust

Our days used to be filled with laughter

I love him a lot, but his reaction I don't trust

I love him, but he loves her.

And below in a barely audible scratch it said written by Phineas.

Ferb sighed as he reread the poem. When did Phineas get into poetry? These poems he writes, they're really deep! I don't know why, but I can't get him out of my head! It's this poem! I just know it! It's making me think about him. I love Vanessa! She's my girlfriend. She is my one and only! I'm in love with her!

LATER THAT NIGHT

Sitting at dinner I look across the dinner table at a red-eyed Phineas. He had told their mother that he read a sad book, I can't believe that she'd believed him! He had tried to talk to me a million times so far, but every time I see him all I can think about is that kiss! I keep avoiding him, and my mind thinks of one thing:

Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa. Vanessa! I love her! She is my life! Phineas be damned!

I can't do this. I don't want to think of Phineas this way! Why did he have to kiss me? If he had just left it at words, I could deal. But now, I don't know what I'm going to do! I look down at my plate with all the food that I haven't touched, I stand up "I'm going to bed." then I go into my room and try to go to sleep.