Alli was beyond pissed the next day. She went on and on about some nonsense involving Eli. Clare didn't see how two people so distinctly different could even interact on that level.

"I mean can you believe he told me he was not into me! Like what the hell? He gave clear signs that he was then he comes up with this bullshit. I just don't understand him." Alli exclaimed, vigorously rubbing her temples. "What a headache that guy is, I swear! What do you think, Clare?"

Clare cleared her throat. "Uh...does he like someone else? Is that why he doesn't like you?"

Clare swore she saw smoke come out of Alli's ears in anger. "Yes! Yes, he said he liked some other girl. What girl could possibly be better than me anyways? She's probably fat, emo, and ugly."

"You really shouldn't assume that the girl is fat, ugly, or emo just because you're angry." Clare muttered in annoyance.

Alli's eyes seemed to pop out of her head. "Whose side are you on, Clare! Like sheesh, you're supposed to be my friend and you're over here defending that...that ugly slut."

"You don't even know who she is. Did you ask him who she was?"

"Ugh, he kind of got like nervous or something and said she didn't go here." She waved her hand away. "You know what! I must go tell Bianca and Jenna about this. Meet us at the lockers after 4th hour so we can go to lunch together. Bye!"

Clare sighed in relief that Alli had finally left. Don't get her wrong, she loved Alli very much. They'd been friends for years but Alli has always been sort of a drama queen that exaggerated a bit much. Why was Eli not reciprocating feelings the worst thing in the world when Dave, Drew, and some others still lusted after her?

Clare would kill to have at least one guy interested in her but who in their right mind would go for her? She was crazy, after all. Only her friends and family knew that she was diagnosed with a mental illness last year, making life that much harder for her. Most people didn't take having SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) as serious but it was beyond serious for her. She couldn't remember the last time she ate lunch at school or when out to public places, well besides school. From the minute she woke up to the minute she fell asleep, she experienced intense fear of everyday simple tasks. They ate at her. Then the irrational thoughts started when she was eleven and they've yet to leave, just becoming louder and louder. Which explained why she'd rather spend all of her time sleeping rather than being with friends like a normal teen. When she was asleep she was safe, safe from herself.

And of course, every once in a while she'd lash out in anger for no apparent reason. Twice in front of her friends. She was embarrassed but they understood, still treating her like she was normal.

Her thoughts consumed her as she roamed the halls. She noticed she was one of the only people in the halls at the time, well except for Eli. Why did this guy always show up where I was?, she thought.

He was coming, she was going. She happen to glance his way, their eyes meeting for just a second but his green eyes stayed fixed on her.

Did she have something on her face or...?

Her heart began to beat rapidly. No, she didn't like this guy, just the fact that the way he was looking at her weirded her out a bit.

Right before they were out of sight to each other. He quietly muttered. "Bye Clare."

What the fuck?

She slowly turned around but had missed him turning a corner.

Lunch time rolled around a lot faster today. Clare was just glad that the school day was half over.

Her friends had all decided to gather around in the girls' bathroom. Alli visciously applying coat after coat of mascara. While Jenna was propped up on the sink, phoning her boyfriend. The minute Bianca saw Clare, she quickly pulled her aside away from the rest.

"Uh?" Clare wondered.

Bianca shook her head knowingly. "Alli told me this morning about Eli." She whispered.

Clare was more than confused. Why was she whispering, like as if it were some secret? "And?"

Bianca poked her in the arm. "He didn't like her? And I know that you like him so even though Alli would kill you maybe you should go after him." she suggested.

Was she out of her mind? And did she understand that she did not have a thing at all for this guy? Even if she did, what kind of a friend would do that to another friend?

"I" She pointed at herself. "do not like him, okay." she slowly said. Maybe then she'd understand.

Bianca rolled her eyes. "Blah blah, bitch. Don't hide your feelings with me. I know you like I know my way with a penis."

"Ew, Bianca. Don't. Just don't." Clare laughed. "But in all seriousness, I don't have feelings for or any guy for that matter...but if I did you'd be the first to know." she reassured.

"Promise?"

"Yes."

Bianca smiled. "Okay well, come with me to put my bag up in the locker?"

"..Sure."


Clare slouched on the stool she was sitting on. She continued to type vigorously, determined to finish her essay.

"How was school today?" her mother casually asked.

She bit at her finger. "School was...school. I guess, I don't know."

Clare's mother stopped chopping onions, fixing her stare on her daughter. "Have you been taking your meds?"

Clare rolled her eyes. "..No. I told you I'm not taking them anymore. They make me gain weight!" she exclaimed. "Like I need the extra pounds. I'm borderline freakin' sumo wrestler." she muttered.

"See! See the way you talk? You're psycho." She covered her face with a hand, deeply exhaling. "I honestly don't know what I did to deserve such a messed daughter. I really don't."

"Well, I'm so fucking sorry." Clare replied sarcastically, packing up her laptop. "I won't be eating tonight. Goodnight." She trailed off to her room.