Psst. If your reading this right now, then that means that you've just discovered that this isn't really in 'COMPLETE'. The only reason why it's going to remain that way is because even I don't know when my motivation in writing these will stop. So might as well lie to you and say "I'm done with this story" rather than continue to blue ball you with an 'In-Progress' story followed shortly by some apology chapter to confirm the end of this story. I may be evil, but I'm not that evil. Ya Knooooow~

So yeah with this chapter 2 up and running, I can finally refer to this as a Collection of sorts about my takes in a !JokerHachiman. HOWEVER, keep in mind that this chapter isn't really canon to the main story since it's...uh...actually a crossover to the new anime: Happy Sugar Life, that's currently in it's 6th episode. It's a mini oneshot that I've wanted to get out of my head for quite some time ever since I started watching the anime, and it has been slowing me down as I was making the CANON chapter 2 of the main story...so yeah. Here ya go. And as always, ya don't have to take this seriously. Because why?...Why so serio- Oops. Almost forgot:

"I do not own any of the characters of My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU/やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている...and Happy Sugar Life"


[シュガ]

My Happy Sugar Life is Unexpected...heh...as Expected

It's been around a full week ever since that Valentine's event occurred. And so many things have happened as time passed by. They say that God created the world in 7 days. Well, I'll do the world better at the past 8 days that I've dealt with.

I've unexpectedly learned the ugly truth of our society from those I once cared for behind the closed doors of the Service Club. Shortly afterwards, my very own mind split into two separate personalities as they tried their best to repair the damage from the aftermath of that discovery. Then, my former frien- no...allie- wrong again...acquaintances...

...began to damage my flawed and unstable state of mind even further with their constant apologies and pleas for help. And in the end, my personalities did something to each other...

Something so precarious.

Something so dangerous.

Something so life-threatening...

...in a desperate attempt of giving birth to a new Hikigaya Hachiman. A Hikigaya Hachiman who's mind will never falter. A Hikigaya Hachiman, who's chances of falling to the sweet temptations of our current society are so minuscule, that you might as well refer to him as untouchable. Unimaginable. UnbREaKAblE...A Hikigaya Hachiman who will soon burn this cursed society down to the ground. No matter the cost. All hail Hikigaya Hachiman. All hail me.

But to me, it was only a Sunday.

Which was yesterday. And all of that brings me here now, as I walk towards the vending machine that resides in this prestigious school that is Soubu High. There's still so much time left before my 2nd year in this school is over and done with. And that means more chances for ThOsE pEOpLe...to come running after me and hinder my plans. As I insert the required yen in the machine to purchase another can of Max Coffee, I couldn't help but let out a few words to express what I'm currently feeling at the moment.

"How Bitter."


"How Bitter."

The words echo across the empty halls of Soubu High as a young girl emerges from the top of the stairs. She has bubblegum pink hair tied into two small buns with a red ribbon attached to her left bun as the rest of her hair reaches down to her hips. Her attire is composed of Soubu's female school uniform paired with a hazel-colored cardigan on top of her white shirt and underneath her buttoned up black blazer as well as a pair of dark blue socks that barely reach her knees.

The sounds of her footsteps cease as she turns her body towards the door of her designated class. Her red eyes narrow in concentration as she prepares herself in making a good impression towards her future classmates. With a quick nod to herself, she opens the door and goes inside full of confidence in her trademark false yet happy demeanor, unaware of the surprise she's about to experience in entering Class 2F.


"My name is Matsuzaka Sato. I'm looking forwards to being with you all in the years to come her-" She pauses in her introduction as she notices a certain someone in her left side. Her red eyes widen as she continues to stare in surprise at a young boy with black medium hair and an ahoge on top of his head who's currently reading a small book, covering his entire face in the process.

"H-Hachiman?"

Everyone in the room including the teacher direct their attention in shock at the teenager in question who lowered his book a little showing her his dead-fish eyes. Whispers begin to spread throughout the room varying from "How the hell does this creep know this hot chick" to "He never told me about knowing any girls outside of Soubu".

"H-Hikigaya...Hachiman?...I-Is that really you?"

Ignoring the background chatter, he gracefully lowers the small book to the table revealing the rest of his face while raising an eyebrow towards her in amusement at this turn of events.

"Well. Well. Well. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes..." He pauses mid-sentence before smirking a little in remembering a certain nickname he once used to tease a certain someone in his past life. "...Sugar~"

She puffs her cheeks at that while ignoring the small shrieks of confusion and excitement from the class. "Mou~ Didn't I tell you to call me that only when we're alone? Coffee-gaya no Baaaka!" She exclaims while leaning towards him in an intimidating manner.

"Ah. Sorry. It's just that..." He tilts his head to the side as he gives her a tender smile in reminisce unaware of the jealous looks Yuigahama and Hiratsuka are currently sending to the new transfer student. "It's been so many years...since we've called each other that."

"Hmph. I suppose it can't be helped." She crosses her arms while pouting to the side in slight annoyance before turning her head towards him once more with a fond smile on her face.

"I missed you Hachiman."

Ignoring the collection of short gasps that escaped from the mouths of his classmates as well as his homeroom teacher, he places a hand to his cheek supported by the table below his arm. "Yeah." He breathes out while his eyelids lower in warm recollection of the moments he shared with her back when he was still in Junior High as he continues to stare at his source of affectio-...attention.

"I missed you too Sato."

.

.

.

"EEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH?!"

The two of them continue to stare in each other's eyes as if they are in their own little world together while the entirety of Class 2F goes wild with the homeroom teacher unable to stop it, being frozen in shock and all. For most of the people in the class, today would be the most memorable day in the history of Class 2F. But for a certain pair of individuals...

To them, it was only a Monday.


And there's the end of that. Is this the end of that little idea? I honestly don't know. You tell me. I have a background kind of formulated for this idea anyways. Basically what would've happened to the crazy main heroine of My Happy Sugar Life if she met a Hikigaya Hachiman in Junior High instead of the little girl, Shio Kobe. Ya know, the small loli tOoOoTaLlLY worth killing plenty of people for...Totally. And back then, Hikigaya opened her eyes to the real truths and lies to her ideals of Bitter and Sweet. Hell, you can picture Hachiman just ending the conversation as he places a spare can of Max Coffee in her hands and walks away like your typical cool protagonist as she looks back at him in loving affection...(Chapter 0 maybe? Eh?! Eeeeeh?!)

Anyways, I'm still making some progress on the possible upcoming chapters. Also, how would you feel about a Hachiman who's mind is split into two individual personalities that are aware of each other's existence. Because I'm actually THIS close to making it CANON with all the amazing possibilities of future chapters popping up in my head. I still believe that Hachiman's mind is very strong. It can't be completely destroyed. Merely, shattered to pieces. In this case, two big pieces, with hundreds of pieces lying around his mindscape for them to fix.

One is calm and collected showing hints of insanity, while the other...is clearly crazy. And as time passes by, both of them do 'something' to each other resulting in the ultimate !JokerHachiman. And all of that is actually thanks to Saika of all people as he opens their eyes to who they really are while they had their little heartfelt chat in the rooftop. How's that idea? Pretty neat? Pretty bad? I dunno...Eh. I'm rambling. Anyways, here's a small preview of the chapter CANON to the main story.


Previews of various possible oneshots in the future:

[一]

"Wrong. Again. Yuigahama-san." I couldn't help but sigh at her assumption towards me. And she sounded so confident too. I really want to know where she gets all that confidence from. Wait...could it be?

Source: Me?...eh. Sort of.

Anyways, I might as well straighten out her thoughts now before they go on a loop. Airheads such as herself tend to do that often. I would know. I'm doing it right now actually. "I wasn't talking about you. Ya knoo...ow." Oops. Almost stretched out that last bit there. Damn drowsiness of mine. Blow up already!...I hope she didn't notice that.

"W-What?"...Oh Kami I think she did. Well shi- "I thought that you were talking about me..."...Roll with it.

"No. I was talking about ME." Responding to her words in a similar tone as I point towards myself. "I'm disappointed. In myself." She looks up to me in confusion. "Why? Did you really think I was talking about you?" I see her break eye contact from me as she slowly lowers her head, her expression reduced to a downcast one.

*sigh* I release a sigh once more dropping my hands down to my sides while lowing my head as I shake it in exasperation. "I expected nothing less from someone like you Yuigahama-san." But that's not all I can expect from you. Hell, I can bet that you're next line is going to be: 'L-like me? What do you mean by that?' GO!

"L-like me? What do you mean by that?"...Heh. I even nailed her stuttering down. You know what? Maybe I should do this more often. Seems like fun actually! Anyways, this conversation is getting way too predictable now. It's as if every single word you possess is in the palm of my hand. I can see your form tremble just waiting to be shattered as your confidence slowly dissappat- Okay quit it with this monologue. You're not the former Fifth Captain of Soul Society god dammit.

I ignore her question as I ask her one in return. "Why do you always think it's about you? Yuigahama-san this, Yuigahama-san that? It's all about YOU...isn't it?" Of course, my statement is only partly wrong. I'm just saying this for the sole purpose of leading this entire conversation to it's end as quickly as possible. Just watch...

"Y-You're wron-." She shakes her head. "You're wrong Hachiman." Ah see. Even she gets it. Exactly as planned...Why do I have a sudden urge to eat some potato chips right now? I already served myself some breakfast back in my place...and it's too early to eat some snacks!

"Hm...yes I suppose I'm wrong on one side. This isn't just about just you, no. It's about you and tHeM...right?" And at long last, we have reached the end of our little chat. Sorry Yuigahama, but it's time to finish this. I do have a class to be on time for. I mean it's not like I want to give Hiratsuka-sensei a good excuse for seeing her after class or anything...bak-

"A word of advice for all of you if you decide to tell them of our little talk." Cutting myself off from another weird monologue of mine, I take a few steps forward before pausing at her side. I see her head move a little in the corner of my eye before continuing to stare into the ground once more.

"You should give more thought...to how other people feel." Yuigahama quickly snaps her head up towards me in revelation as I recite the words she once told me a long time ago. "...How is it that you claim to know so much about me when in reality, you really don't?" I turn my head towards her looking straight into her teary eyes. "I can't stand that." I finish reciting her words before breaking off our gaze as I continue walking towards the school. "Not at all." I whisper to myself ignoring the small sobs slowly being reduced to nothing as I enter the school.


This particular preview had me going in circles. I don't even know if this SHOULD be canon to the main storyline. Either way, it's still an idea. Should I go for it?

[?]

"...Huh. T-That's...interesting..." *THUD* I let out before collapsing forwards to the cold tile floor.

"Hmph. Shows him. You see that! If you don't do as I say, you'll end up just like him!" ...H-Heheh. Little does he k-know~

"Now then. You! The single teacher in the room!" Pff- D-Don't laugh Hachiman. You need to hold it...for the surprise. God it hurts to monologue. Damn bullet literally took my breath away.

"Get to the window over there!" That's right Single-sensei. Listen to the soon-to-be dead man.

I open my right eye a millimeter to see sensei glance at my direction before slowly heading towards the window. Right. The time to act is almost upon me. Whatever plan I'm going to act on, I need to do it fast. After all, I can't risk letting my so called friends ruin the big surprise now can I?

"Now then..." ...three.

"It's time..." ...Two~

"To send a message" ...ONE!

I activate Stealth Hikki and Quick Burst simultaneously as time begins to slow down while I quickly stand up before rushing towards thug-san's open back. I can feel the surprise from sensei and the others at my sudden revival as I charge behind him.

*Grab* *BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!*

Time returns to normal as I forcibly grab his gun and direct it from Single-sensei towards his shoulder for a split-second as I fire all 5 bullets at quick succession ignoring the cries of shock and one shout of pain while doing so. I can see thug-san cough out specks of blood before shakily looking towards me in a staggered form.

"...Y-You." He coughs out.

"Yes. Me." I snarkily remark.

*BAM* "GAAAAHH!"

I deliver a savage strike to his head with the butt of the gun I've barely managed to snatch knocking him into unconsciousness.

"Me. Me...mE." *clank* I finish as I drop the gun ignoring the shocked expressions on my classmates' faces as I groggily walk towards the nearest wall before slowly sliding down to the floor once more. I lower my eyes drowning the cries for me as my adrenaline begins to fade away.


Yeah no, I'm really unsure about this one. Because I believe that this little idea was inspired in a way. Hell, I'm pretty damn sure that I read a story or two involving Hachiman in a hostage situation before...AnYwAAys, I'ma go now. Still need to rearrange my ideas for the possible chapters to come. Laterz ya'll. Oh and I also forgot to mention that I might have added a few more previews in Chapter 1 as I was changing up some words left and right...S-So there.