Following a mostly sleepless night, Charity gets out of bed much earlier than she normally would on a weekend. Whether or not it has anything to do with the other side of the bed being empty is irrelevant. She dresses herself in jeans and a top she knows Vanessa likes. The place is quiet when she heads out of her bedroom and she assumes Chas must still be asleep, which is unlike her, but not unwelcome today; she doesn't need another lecture. Or worse, a pep talk.

She heads out of the backdoor of the pub. It's just edging into summer and everything looks fresh and vibrant, the sun already warm on her face and it makes her feel a tiny bit hopeful. She decides to swing by David's and pick up a bunch of flowers. Which isn't ideal, considering she tried to bar one of the owners last night, but it's the only option in the village and she can't get in a car and go somewhere else in case she loses her nerve.

She plans just to grab the first ones she sees because she's not exactly an expert in flowers, but there's a bunch that immediately catches her eye. The flowers are mostly yellow, with some purple sprinkled through and their bright, cheerful petals remind her of Vanessa. She grabs them and goes inside to pay. Both David and Tracy are behind the counter and David immediately steps in front of his wife, plastering a big fake smile on his face.

"What can I do f-" Tracy nudges him out of the way with her hip.

"I'll serve this one," Tracy tells him, and he looks at Charity with an apology in his eyes before going into the back.

"Good morning to you too," Charity says, laying the flowers on the counter and going into her pocket for her wallet.

Tracy eyes the flowers with disdain. "Grovelling this morning, are we?"

"Inserting our noses into other people's business this morning, are we?" Charity smiles with very little sincerity.

Tracy rings up the flowers. "Uh, last time I checked, my sister is my business." She holds out her hand. "That'll be twenty-five pounds."

"Twenty-five quid?" Charity squeaks.

Tracy's eyes flash dangerously and for a second, Charity sees the family resemblance. "Is my sister not worth twenty-five quid to you?"

Charity sighs, remembering Chas' advice about trying to be nice to Vanessa's family. She takes out some notes and ignores Tracy's outstretched hand, dropping them on the counter instead. She gives another tight smile as she picks up the flowers. "Keep the change."

Tracy frowns. "You've given me the right money."

Walking backwards to the door, she holds the flowers up. "They're about a tenner overpriced, so you can keep that."

"Don't mess her about, Charity. I mean it."

Charity stops walking. Although it's phrased as a warning, it's the plea in Tracy's voice that prevents her from snapping back. They stand in silence, looking at each other, for a long moment and then Charity nods slowly. "I'm going to put things right."

"Well, just make sure you do." Tracy jabs a finger in her general direction. "For some reason, she thinks the bloody sun shines out of your arse. But I'll have no problem kicking it if you pull this crap again."

She bristles, but fights down the urge to respond. Tracy has every right to be narky at her. "Yeah? Well, you'll need to get in line behind half my family."

"Good. As long as you know that." Tracy nods to the flowers. "She'll love them. They're very her."

"At these prices, she better had," Charity says, but throws in a wink before turning and leaving Tracy behind.

Every step closer to Vanessa's house adds to the nausea in Charity's stomach until she actually stops halfway up the path to take a few deep breaths. She should not be this nervous. But the fact she is, reaffirms why she needs to do this. This is important. Taking in a shaky breath, she reaches out and rings the doorbell.

A voice from within shouts 'I'll get it' and Charity frowns. She recognises that voice and it's not Vanessa's. Sure enough, with the door opens, it reveals Chas, who freezes when her eyes land on Charity.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Charity hisses. "I told you not to interfere!"

"I was...just...I brought Vanessa a coffee!" Chas offers her a nervous smile, she lowers her voice to a whisper. "I just wanted to, you know, grease the wheels a little because I know you're not great at this kind of thing."

"What kind of th-" Before she can really wind herself up to respond the way she wants to, a voice draws her attention away from her flustered cousin.

"Chatty!"

Johnny comes barrelling past Chas and launches himself at Charity, who only just manages to catch him with one arm and pick him up. His little arms are tight around her neck and she closes her eyes, drinking in the fresh, clean smell of him.

"Hiya mate." She squeezes him gently.

"See Mummy? Chatty came!"

Charity opens her eyes and finds Vanessa looking back at her over Johnny's shoulder. She's wearing pyjama bottoms, unmatched socks and a hoodie with a weird brownish stain on one shoulder. Charity's stomach clenches at sight of red-rimmed eyes that she knows she's the cause of.

Vanessa nods. "So I see."

It's ridiculous that just hearing someone's voice after a couple of days can make you want to cry. It's been such a long time since Charity felt anything remotely like this that it feels brand new. Maybe it is. Nothing's ever been as easy as it is with Vanessa, where there's no complicated history or ulterior motive. Just two people who get on really well and want to be in each other's company. It's refreshing and terrifying all at once.

"Hi," she manages.

"Hi." Vanessa's voice has a scratch to it that reminds Charity of how it sounds when she first wakes up. It makes her ache with longing for that soft, warm space that's just theirs. The time before they need to think about responsibilities and they can just enjoy the quiet and each other.

"Listen, uh...why don't I take Johnny over to the pub to see Noah, eh?" Chas says, breaking the silence. "Give the two of you some time alone to talk?" She looks to Vanessa for permission. Charity holds her breath while Vanessa decides, knowing that this decision will indicate whether or not she's getting a chance to explain herself.

Vanessa lets out a sigh. "Fine. But no fizzy pop. And only one bag of crisps before lunchtime."

"Yes ma'am," Chas salutes and holds her arms out. "What do you say, Johnny? You coming to the pub with me to see Noah? Maybe Jack and Sarah'll come over in a little while too."

He goes to her without question, but holds out his hand to Charity.

"You come too, Chatty? We're gonna see Noah!"

"I'll be over soon, darlin'. Okay?" She takes his hand and blows a raspberry on his wrist, making him shriek with laughter and press further into Chas's arms.

Vanessa steps forward wrestles him into his jacket before planting a kiss on his cheek. "You be a good boy for Chas, okay? And I'll come and get you soon. Have fun with Noah. Bye."

"Bye!" Chas and Johnny chorus.

"Don't stuff this up," Chas murmurs, as she passes Charity.

Charity turns to watch Chas walk down the path and Johnny grins at her and waves. She can't help but smile back at his sweet face and she gives him a wave.

"He asked for you about a million times yesterday."

She snaps her eyes back to Vanessa, who's also waving at Johnny. "He did?"

"Mmhmm." Vanessa's eyes drop to the flowers in her hand and she resists the urge to hide them behind her back.

"They for me?"

"No. They're for Leyla." She rolls her eyes. "'Course they're for you. Here." She thrusts them forward like some spotty teen at his first school disco. A tiny frown creases Vanessa's forehead, but she takes them.

"Thank you. They're lovely." For a moment, Charity thinks that's going to be it, but then Vanessa steps to the side. "You better come in."

Charity takes a breath and moves past Vanessa into the house and through to the living-room. She stands, not wanting to take a seat without being invited to. She hates this awkwardness between them all the more because she put it there. Vanessa shuffles through, her too long pyjama bottoms dragging on the floor.

"I...I'll get a vase for these."

"Ness," Charity reaches for her as she passes, but clenches her hand into a fist before she can make contact, unsure if she's allowed to touch her right now. Vanessa stops walking anyway and turns to face her. "Leave them for now. Please?"

"Okay." Vanessa deposits the flowers on the kitchen table and turns back to Charity, arms crossed, waiting.

Charity takes a breath. "First off, I'm sorry for what I said the other night, okay? It was out of order, I didn't mean it, and I'm sorry."

Vanessa lifts her chin. "So why's it taken you two days to say that to me?"

Charity shrugs. "Because I'm me, aren't I?"

"That's not an answer, Charity." Vanessa's eyes are hard, lines between her eyebrows pronounced. "And it's not an excuse either."

She nods. She hadn't expected Vanessa to let her away with such a flippant answer, but old habits die hard. "I know. I know it's not."

"So." Vanessa raises her eyebrows. "Are you gonna give me a real answer?"

Charity feels the usual rebellion well in her chest at the challenge. She's never been one to have her hand forced; often choosing the hard road out of spite rather than any logical reason. But when she looks at Vanessa, all the fight goes out of her. Here's this wonderful, intelligent, kind woman who she's hurt, and literally all she's asking for her is an honest answer.

"I...after I'd said it I…" She turns away, unable to look at Vanessa and remember the hurt on her face. She swallows. "Well, when you left I thought 'That's it. She's had enough'. And who could blame you? You shouldn't be on the receiving end of that kind of stuff." Almost anybody else, but not Vanessa. "So I thought it'd be better, in the long run...if you just...stayed away."

"Better for who?" Vanessa asks, her voice sharp enough to make Charity look at her.

"For you." She rolls her eyes. "Obviously."

"Why would it be better for me to stay away?" Vanessa presses.

"So that I can't hurt you more!" Charity half shouts, annoyed that Vanessa's making her say something that should be clear to anyone. "So that I can't say horrid things that make you sad. So that you can find somebody who can...I dunno, give you what you need. What you deserve." Her eyes drop to the floor again.

Two feet in odd socks come into view and she looks up to find Vanessa directly in front of her, wearing an expression that Charity's become very familiar with over the past few months; she's made her mind up about something.

"Well, here's an idea," Vanessa begins, eyes boring into Charity's. "Why don't you work on not saying horrid things that make me sad? And I'll decide what I need or deserve, right?"

"Right." She wishes she had kept hold of the flowers because she really wants something to do with her hands to stop them from reaching for Vanessa. As it is, everything inside her feels like it's quivering, unsure whether this means Vanessa has forgiven her for what she said and is willing to give her another go.

"What made you change your mind?" Vanessa asks, heedless of Charity's discomfort. "What made you come over here, if you thought I was better off without you?"

"I still think you're better off without me," she begins, uncertain what she's going to say next. She meets Vanessa's eyes and is gripped with fear of never being this close to her again. It's the fear that loosens her throat and lets the words flow. "But I know I'm not better off without you."

Vanessa purses her lips, but her eyes soften. "Yeah? How's that then?"

Charity lifts her eyebrows. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Shrugging, Vanessa folds her arms and takes a step back. "A bit. It's quite nice hearing how you feel for once." She nods for Charity to continue.

Charity sighs and throws her hands up. "I dunno. Just...everything. I like when you're around. I like getting your daft texts. I like it when you tell me all the stupid stuff that happens at the vets. I like how Johnny smiles when he sees me. I like it when you argue with me over silly little things. I like going to sleep with you and waking up with your hair in my face and your drool on my pillow."

Vanessa tilts her head, a half smile on her lips. "Well, it was nice up to the drool."

"I missed all of it, including the drool, these past couple of nights." She pauses, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out. "I missed you." She clears her throat. "And even though I know that you're better off out of it, I'm too selfish to let you go without at least telling you that."

Vanessa rolls her eyes, which have become shinier all of a sudden. "I missed you too, you silly beggar." Her voice is rough again and it makes Charity's stomach twist.

"Yeah?"

Vanessa nods, dislodging a single tear at the side of her eye. "Yeah. A lot" She swipes at her cheek with her sleeve. "I even missed your snoring."

"I don't snore!" Off Vanessa's raised eyebrow, she shakes her head and reaches for her. "Come 'ere."

"No, don't." Vanessa twists away from her and her stomach seizes with fear that she's done the wrong thing until she realises Vanessa's running her hands over her hair and straightening her stained hoodie. "I must look a right state."

Charity laughs in relief. "No. You don't." She reaches out and tips Vanessa's chin up so their eyes can meet. "And you know me, I'd tell you if you did."

A shaky laugh bubbles out of Vanessa's throat. "Yeah. You would as well."

Charity nods. "I would. So you know you can believe me when I tell you that you look...beautiful." Has she ever told Vanessa that before? Has she ever let that word pass her lips? She's thought it often enough. She's definitely told her that she looks hot, or sexy or cute. But has she ever used the word that actually describes how she thinks of Vanessa most of the time?

Judging by Vanessa's reaction, she has not. She's looking up at her with genuine surprise, her cheeks tinged with pink and her eyes more alive than they have been since Charity walked through the door. "Do I?"

"You do." Charity nods, stroking a thumb over Vanessa's jaw, spurred on by her tiny smile. "And I should've told you that before."

"Something else for you to work on, then." Vanessa's hands land on her hips and pull, arms sliding around her waist until they are pressed together. Charity's arms go around Vanessa, holding her gently, one fist curling into the fabric of her hoodie almost desperately.

"I will try," Charity whispers, leaning her forehead against Vanessa's and looking into her eyes. "Can't promise I'll always be good at it though."

"I can't promise that either, Charity." Vanessa brings a hand up to cradle Charity's cheek. "All we can both do is try . And when we make a muck-up of something, we talk about it."

Charity takes a deep breath, the nearness of Vanessa making her a little lightheaded. Which is maybe the reason for the sudden desire to be frank. "The other night...when I said...well, what I said...I was jealous."

Vanessa pulls back, frowning. "Jealous? Of what?"

"Of you and Noah playing that stupid game." Charity can feel her face heat up with embarrassment at her own honesty. "I...I've not always had the best relationship with Noah and...well, you and him just get on, don't you?" She looks down. "And he already thinks Moira's a better mother than me and I suppose I just...well, I felt like I was slipping into third place."

"Oh, Charity." Vanessa's gentle hands bring her face back up and, surprisingly, there's no pity in her eyes, only understanding. "I never even thought-"

"No," Charity cuts her off, shaking her head. "You weren't doing anything wrong. I just...it's my problem, not yours."

Vanessa strokes her thumb over her cheek, her head tilted, eyes locked on Charity's. "You are his mum. He loves you. I'm a novelty right now, aren't I? I'm his mum's cool girlfr-"

Vanessa's eyes go wide and she presses her lips together. Neither of them have used that word to describe each other. Thanks to Charity, neither of them have really used any words to describe their relationship other than 'a bit of fun'. But given the things that have been said this morning, there's really no point in keeping up any kind of pretence.

She lets an eyebrow creep up her forehead. "Steady on now, babe," she says, shaking her head. "Nobody ever said you were cool."

The panic on Vanessa's face slowly fades into a tentative grin. "Fair enough. Am I...the other thing, then?"

"You are if you want to be." Charity offers her a lopsided smile. "As Chas took great pleasure in telling me, doesn't matter what name we put to it or don't put to it...we're together." She swallows. "I mean...I hope we are...if you still-"

"We're together," Vanessa confirms, with a nod and a chaste kiss against her lips.

"I know it was me with the stupid 'no labels' thing," Charity admits. "For all the good it did."

Vanessa's brow creases in question. "How d'you mean?"

Shrugging, Charity tightens her arms around Vanessa's waist. "I think I thought if I didn't put a name to it, it wouldn't hurt when...if…" She shakes her head with a sad smile. "Didn't quite work out that way, eh?"

Vanessa returns the smile, sweeping some of Charity's hair behind her ear. "Don't push me away, okay?" she murmurs. "And if we fight, which we will, then we say sorry and we work through it, alright?"

"It sounds so simple," Charity whispers.

"It can be. If we both try."

Vanessa's looking at her with such hope, such trust, that the only reply she can give her is to lean in and bring their lips together. It's such a relief to feel the solid weight of Vanessa against her, warm familiar lips moving over her own. Her body feels like it's filling with warmth from her toes upwards, snaking through her veins and making everything tingle. Ever since their first kiss, Vanessa has been able to make her feel this way and it's only become stronger as time has passed. She can't imagine ever getting tired of this feeling.

Vanessa's hands come up to cup her face as the kiss draws to an end, and she keeps hold as they part. Vanessa's eyes are intense when she pulls back and Charity's breath catches in her throat.

"Look," Vanessa begins, her thumb stroking just under Charity's eye. "I'm gonna say this and not because I expect you to say anything back, okay?" She takes a deep breath. It's obvious what's coming and Charity's chest feels like it's expanding and constricting at the same time. "I-"

She quickly places a finger over Vanessa's lips, silencing her. "Ness...let's not do this now, eh? Not on the back of all this. Let's save it for a day when I haven't made you cry?"

Vanessa's frown melts into the most glorious smile Charity's ever seen. Her eyes grow bright and when she speaks, her voice is hardly more than a whisper. "'Let's'? As in, 'let us'? Both of us?" She swallows. "So, you…you-"

Charity makes a show of rolling her eyes, but she's just buying time to make sure her throat is going to work when she speaks. "Course I do, you idiot. D'you think I'd be acting this soppy if I didn't?"

"This is you acting soppy?"

"I brought you flowers, didn't I? Which I'm sure your sister charged me double for by the way."

"Probably not. Their prices for most things are scandalous."

Charity continues as if Vanessa hadn't spoken. "I apologised. I said...things. Things I never say to anyone." She dips her head and rubs her nose against Vanessa's before murmuring against her lips. "This is as soppy as it gets without alcohol, babe."

Vanessa wraps her arms more tightly around Charity, squeezing her and pressing her face into her neck. "I'll take it."

She closes her eyes and rests her head against the one buried in her neck, swaying them both gently. "So...will you be drooling on my pillow tonight?"

Vanessa's lips turn up into a smile against her skin. "How can I say no to such a romantic invitation?"

Charity gently lifts Vanessa's head so they're looking at each other. She traces a thumb over Vanessa's upturned lips. "Good. Happy Ness is back."

Rolling her eyes, Vanessa playfully bites Charity's thumb. "You know I hate it when you do this. I always get that bloody theme song stuck in my head for days."

"You can knock it, you can rock it, you can go to Timbuktu…" Charity sings until Vanessa slaps her backside and she laughs. "Okay, okay. I'll stop. I don't want Grumpy Ness to make an appearance." She widens her eyes in mock fear. "Or Ferocious Ness."

"Let's start with Clean Ness and see how we get on from there, eh?" Vanessa says with a smile she's trying to hide. "I severely need a shower."

Charity wrinkles her nose. "Well, I didn't like to say…" She kisses the indignant gasp from Vanessa's mouth before pulling away slightly. "So, shall I wait for you down here or…?"

"You can if you like," Vanessa says. She reaches around and takes Charity's hand from where it rests on her waist, linking their fingers together. "Or you could join me." She starts to walk backwards to the staircase, tugging Charity with her.

A slow grin spreads over Charity's lips as she allows herself to be pulled up the stairs. Vanessa looks over her shoulder, as if she's just remembered something.

"What's this I hear about you barring Tracy by the way?"

Charity rolls her eyes. "Chas tell you that during your little chat, did she?"

"No, actually." Vanessa stops at the top of the stairs, worry creasing her forehead. "And don't get on at Chas for coming over here, right? She was just checking that I was okay and reminding me that you might not be great at the apologising stuff."

Charity eyebrows shoot up. "That cheeky…"

Vanessa quickly interrupts, squeezing Charity's hand. "And you proved her wrong, so it's fine. Anyway, Tracy called me last night, ranting about my psychotic ex barring her from the pub for daring to share DNA with me."

Charity's mouth drops open. "Psychotic ex?"

Vanessa presses her lips together, trying not to smile, and nods. "Don't worry, I put her right," she says, solemnly. "I told her you weren't my ex."

It takes Charity a second to catch onto the implied insult and she can't stop the laugh that erupts from her throat. "Oh, so that's how it is, is it?"

Smiling, Vanessa pulls on Charity's hand to get them moving again. "I just thought we'd had enough talk of feelings for one morning, eh? Don't want you to use them all up in one go."

Charity appreciates the levity, and the fact that Vanessa knows her well enough to let her off the hook for the moment, given the relatively heavy discussion they've had this morning. Most of all, she's just grateful that she hasn't thrown away the best relationship she's ever had, even if she hasn't been calling it by that name. In all of her previous relationships, she's been constantly on edge, waiting to be found out. Or, in the case of Cain, waiting for him to walk away from her again. Having Vanessa in her life feels like the exact opposite of everything that's gone before.

As she's pulled into the tiny bathroom, Charity resolves to do as Vanessa suggested and try. Vanessa deserves at least that much. And maybe, with both of them trying, this thing will go on for a good long while.