Disclaimer: I don't own the movie, TV Show and movie characters except Stevie Anderson and his family as a OC character. This Movie and Characters belongs to Comedy Central and Viacom/Paramount.


The boys made it to the movie theater to see Terrence and Phillip: Asses of fire but the clerk refuses to let the boys in to see the movie, because this movie is rated R.

Stan: (Now at the ticket booth) Can I have seven tickets to Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire, please?

Clerk: No!

There is brief silence as the music dies down at his response.

Stevie: What, nigga?!

Kyle: What do you mean, no?

Clerk: Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. You have to be accompanied by a parent or guardian.

Stevie: (whispers) Man, that bullshit.

Kyle: But why?

Clerk: Because this movie has naughty language! Next, please! (three bigger kids move up in line and buy their tickets)

Stan: This...this can't be happening!

Kyle:We have to see this movie, dude!

Stevie: This ain't right.

Cartman: Aw, screw it. It probably isn't all that good anyway.

Butters: I agree with Eric, guys. Let's try something else.

Kyle: Guys, what are you talking about? You two love Terrance and Phillip!

Stevie: Yeah. Me too, dawgs.

Cartman: Yeah, but the animation's all crappy.

Thhe boys sadly begin walking away but they have an idea. They going to go get the bum and sneak in the movie anyway.

Stan: Wait, I've got an idea...

Stevie: How you gonna do that, Stan my main man?

Stan: Just leave it to me, Stevie my main man.

The Bijou ticket booth. The boys are back, this time with the bum Stan and Kenny hopped over earlier. He holds their money.

Bum: Uh, hi...I want eight tickets to Asses of Fire.

Clerk: Sir, this movie might not be appropriate for your little ones.

Bum: (to Stan) Hey, guys. He says this movie isn't appropriate for you.

Stevie: (Angrily whispered) Let me tell you something, Mr. homeless guy, if you don't wanna buy us tickets right now, and not get your ten bucks, and not go buy yourself a bottle of vodka or beer, then be my guest. (Balls up his fist) I'll whup your motherfuckin' ass, nigga.

Bum: Okay. Okay. Eight tickets, please. (the clerk rings them up)

The theater, inside. The boys sit in the front row. They have their treats, but Cartman is practically buried under his. The bum is not with them.

Kyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman!

Cartman: Oh, let's see, (looks over his stash) uh, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy. (to Stevie) I don't got no black candy for you, Stevie.

Kyle: Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy!

Stevie: And Don't worry about my shit, fat ass! (to Kyle) Hey, Kyle. You can have some of my M&M's peanuts. I already got mine. (Gives him a M&M's)

Kyle: Thanks, dude.

Butters: Thank god that I brought my own snacks from the stand. And I paid for it too.

Stevie: (to Butters) Me too, bruh.

Ike: Ba-ba-ba-ba.

Stan: Shh, the movie's starting!

A large ass appears on screen wearing shorts, with the film title appearing over it. Terrance and Phillip are then shown.

The boys: Hooray!

Stevie: Hell, yeah.

Phillip: Say, Terrance, what did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist?

Terrance:I don't know, Phillip, what? (Phillip farts on Terrance's face, and both get into hysterics over it)

Stan: Where do they come up with this stuff?

Terrance:You're such a pigfucker, Phillip!

Kyle: (the boys gasp) What did he say?

Stevie: He said Pigfucker.

Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pigfucker?

Terrance:Well, let's see, first of all, you fuck pigs!

Phillip: (thinks) Oh yeah! (both giggle)

Terrance:Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch! (both giggle)

Phillip: Oh, you shit-faced cock-master!

The boys: (awestruck) Wow!

Stevie: (awestruck) Damn!

Cartman: Shit-faced cock-master...

Terrance: Listen, you donkey-raping shit-eater...

Kyle: Donkey-raping shit-eater...

Ike: Dobee babing sheet-eater.

Terrance: You'd fuck your uncle!

Phillip: You'd fuck your uncle!

Terrance: (singing) Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka! You're a cock-sucking ass-licking uncle fucka! You're an uncle fucka, yes, it's true! Nobody fucks uncles quite like you!

Phillip: (singing) Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka! You're the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucka! You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn, You just fuck your uncle all day long! (Terrance and Phillip break into a fart breakdown) Hm.

More farts, then they laugh. They fart their way out of the house and onto an intersection handled by a mountie. They dance and fart around him, raising his hat off his head several times.

Mountie: What's going on here? (Terrance and Phillip fart, then the mountie farts, then drivers around them fart as well. Audience members begin to rush out while the boys dance in their seats)

Woman: What garbage...

Man: Well, what do you expect? They're Canadian.

Choir: Uncle...Fucka...Uncle Fucka, Uncle Fucka Uncle...Fucka...'

By this time all the Canadians are dancing and farting wildly.

Terrance and Phillip: Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka! (Uncle fucka!) You're a boner-biting bastard, uncle fucka!

Terrance: You're an uncle fucka, I must say!

Phillip: Well, you fucked your uncle yesterday!

Terrance and Phillip: (Ha, ha, ha) Uncle fu-cka, that's U-N-C-L-E. Fuck you!mUncle fucka! (all freeze)

Phillip: (quick) Suck my balls.

Outside the theater. The text "3 HOURS LATER..." appears at the bottom of the screen. The doors open and the boys walk out and past the booth.

Kyle: Dude, that movie was fucking sweet!

Butters: Asses of Fire is so fuckin' awesome.

Stevie: Goddamn. I fucking love the movie! Hell yeah, niggas! (High five to Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Butters and pat Ike's head)

Cartman: You bet your fucking ass it was!

Stan: Fuck, dude, I wanna be just like Terrance and Phillip!

Clerk (sees them) Hey, wait a minute, where's your guardian?

Kyle: Huh..? (the six of them look at the clerk)

Stevie: What the fuck you talkin' about, fool?

Clerk: I knew it! You paid a homeless guy to get you in, didn't you?

Brief silence.

Cartman: Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit-eater!

Farts and begins to walk away. The others follow.

Stevie: Suck my dick, you honky motherfucker.

Kyle: Yeah! Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka!

The boys: You're an ass-licking ball-sucking uncle fucka!

End of Chapter Two.


A/N: That's the end of Chapter two of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. When Stevie and his friends went to the movie theater to see Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire. But unfortunately, the boys are not allowed to see the movie under 17 because it's Rated R. Stan uses the bum to sneak in and then they paid for the movie. The boys saw the movie and learn the word (except Stevie because he used the word before). The boys loved the movie and they really enjoyed it. Well, that's the end of chapter for now and we're looking for to see the next chapter soon. Be sure to read and review this chapter and previous chapters. We're outta of time. Until next time, fans. Later.