Chapter 2 - Tyra's POV

It's only my second trip back to Dillon since I left almost two years ago for UT. Last time I came home was to see Stevie, and I managed to avoid everyone else and headed back to school after two days. This time, the very first thing I do is make a beeline for Buddy's because I know from Mindy that Tim is working there and I have this overwhelming need to see him. I wrote to him the whole time he was in prison, but I need to see for myself that he's okay. I walk in the door, and I just watch for a bit. It just so happens that when I walk in, Tim has some guy by the shirt and is threatening to end him for calling him jailbird. I can't help myself, so I pitch my voice over the noise of the crowd and repeat what the loser Tim is still holding by the shirt said to make him so angry and Tim's head whips around to watch me walk towards the bar. He's finally let go of the guy, and I stand beside him and order him to move, then I sit down and say hi. Tim still hasn't said a word, he just smiles at me and kind of nods.

Tim comes out for his break, bringing me a beer and sits down next to me on the picnic table. We talk a little about how Mindy is mad at me for not coming home more and Tim wants to know why I don't just come home. I tell him I just don't like coming home, but I don't tell him why. I can't be here and not get sucked back into Dillon, or more precisely, Tim Riggins. Tim accepts my answer, but I know he knows there is more to it than what I said. I mention the twins on the way, and Tim seems shocked by the news. He then confesses to me that he and Billy aren't really talking, and this upsets me. Those two have always been there for each other. I ask Tim if Billy came to see him, and Tim tells me he did, but somehow I don't believe him, and I always could tell when Tim was lying to me. He does tell me he appreciated me writing to him while he was doing his time and then he BOLTS back into the bar. I sit outside for a few minutes thinking over what he told me before I head back to my house.

Mindy, Billy, Becky, and Stevie come to the house for dinner. Momma starts asking Billy what he is planning to doing for money, since it doesn't look like he will have a team to coach next year, and I decide to change the subject and end the tension by announcing that I saw Tim the day before. Billy then asks me if Tim told me he was moving to Alaska. I'm floored. What on the HELL is Tim going to do in Alaska. I demand to know an answer from Billy and he tells me Tim is just having a hard time adjusting to life on the outside again and that it won't happen because Tim loves Texas. I mull this over for the rest of the night. Apparently, I got home just in time. I'm going to have to slip back into the bad cop roll with Tim and kick his ass a bit, it seems. For some reason, we got to a point where Tim actually listens to me.

I wait until the next day, and set out to find Tim. Mindy told me he's living in a trailer on Becky's mom's property and she tells me how to get there. I find Tim sitting outside the trailer, beer in hand, cooler next to him, and take the chair next to him. I lay out his life for him, wondering if prison was really bad enough for him to be living on some random woman's land, in her trailer, not talking to Billy, and moving to Alaska. Tim retorts in his smartass way that if I want to know if he was raped in prison, he wasn't. I use my flippest tone to thank him for letting me know that before I demand to know what is going on with him. He gets quiet for a minute like he's thinking about what he should say. He then tells me that the chop shop was all Billy's idea and that he took the fall for it so Billy could be a father. I can't believe what I'm hearing and when Tim tells me he did for Stevie, I can't help it, I tumble the rest of the way back into love with him. I leave him, not mentioning my feelings, because I need time to think about all of this.

I meet Julie at Fran's to catch up and we get to talking about things, and I ask her about her and Matty and she tells me she misses him and she's not sure where they stand because they still talk, but he's in Chicago and she went to visit, but their relationship isn't really clearly defined at this point. Thinking of Tim, I tell her life is just harder when you really love someone. I know I need to do something to help Tim see the light about tossing away his relationship with his brother.

I head back to Buddy's, and I know Tim will be cleaning up by now and I know he will be the only one in the place. I walk in and Tim is getting ready to mop the floor. He glances my way when I come in but continues with his mopping. He does stop when I start talking. I tell him to make sure he's okay with losing his brother because Billy is the only family he has and one of the only people who has ever believed in him. I don't add that I'm on that list of people who believe in him, Tim doesn't need to know about that, it's safer for me if he doesn't. Tim doesn't say anything, and I turn to leave since it seems I wasted my breath and time. I am halfway across the parking lot when I hear my name called out one time. I stop and turn back and Tim is making his way to me. We stare at each other for a minute and he looks so lost and unsure, but he finally reaches out and puts his hand on my neck. I close my eyes because I still love the way he touches me, even after all this time. He asks me not to go and I reach out to touch him, running my hand through his hair as he rests his forehead to mine almost begging me not to go. I plan on kissing him on the cheek, but he guides my lips to his and I don't stop him. I don't think I could stop him if wanted to, I love him and he needs me. I can't resist this man, especially when he seems so broken. I know I am going to offer him solace anyway I can. The kiss quickly escalates and before I know it, we are in the trailer. I take the lead and pull him into my arms and just hold him for a minute. I kiss his neck, letting my lips trail over his whole neck and then bringing my lips to his. We come together on the bed and it's so different from the last time we were together. It's slow and sweet and maybe just a little bit desperate. We fall asleep together afterwards, and I somehow know he's sleeping better tonight then he has since he got out.

The sun streaming through the windows wakes me and I lay next to Tim watching him for just a little while before I lean over and wake him. He doesn't seem to want to get up, but I want him to take me to his land, so I climb onto his back and tell him to get up and get dressed and he keeps protesting that he's up. He finally meets me out at his truck and we set off for his land. When we get there, we lean against the front of his truck and it's a beautiful spot, it nearly takes my breath away, it's so pretty. I can totally see him living here in a house he builds, and the thing is, I can see myself here too, and that's a scary thought. I don't confess any of that to him, but I simply say one thing to him. "Alaska, Tim?" and he just smiles at me.

I'm home in my bedroom, I haven't seen Tim since we made love, and I don't know when I will be able to face him. I know how easy it would be to give in to my feelings and stay here in Dillon with Tim because I love him. I just can't do that, but I WANT to, and that is the problem. I'm thinking about all of this when momma starts yelling for me to come out to the living room. Stevie is in her arms when I get there and Tim is standing in my living room and I'm not ready to see him so I talk to my nephew and causally say hi to Tim. I know he's probably hurt by this, but I just am not ready to deal with all of this. I walk over to the couch next to where Tim is sitting in the chair and sit down. Tim asks me what I am doing the next night and I tell him I have plans with Matt and Julie to go to Buddy's and then tell him that they got engaged and he can't believe it either. Momma comes back with the baby and says he needs to be changed, so I take the out and relieve my mother and get away from Tim too. I can feel his disappointment when he says he will see me at Buddy's then and I casually say of course, but I can't deal with his emotions yet. I need to figure out how I feel first.

I'm sitting at a table with Matt and Julie when Tim comes over with three beers, a bottle of Jack Daniels and some other assorted drinks. We all laugh and grab a bottle and we toast Mr. and Mrs. Saracen. Tim and I then make a little fun of Matt for proposing at the Alamo Freeze and I comment on how crazy life is and how they're engaged and I'm half through college and doing awesome and Tim chimes in with he's out for good behavior and we all clink our bottles together, Tim drinking straight from the Jack Daniels bottle, which concerns me a bit. Matt drags Julie to the dance floor and Tim holds a hand out to me asking me to dance. I bite my lip and wait a minute before sliding my hand into his, and we make our way to the dance floor. Tim pulls me into his arms and it's perfect. Tim tells me this feels right, and while I agree with him, I tell him he's just lonely, because I need to be strong and remember my dreams. Tim tells me he's not just lonely and I know he's being honest with me, but I have to tell him I can't do this with him again, and I know I am hurting him, but as much as I love him, I owe it to myself to finish college. I tell him I have plans and he tries to lighten the mood by joking that he doesn't, but we get very quiet for the rest of the dance and I just lay my head on his shoulder and he holds me tight with his hands at my waist. I know I've hurt him, but what he probably doesn't know is that this is killing me too.

I know this isn't the smartest thing I've ever done, but I will be going back to school soon, and I need to see Tim again before I go. I can't leave things the way we did. I call Tim and ask him to pick me up and take me back to his land. He immediately agrees. I spend the time before he picks me up thinking about what I will say to him. We gather our things when we get out of the truck and walk to the spot where the land is level and Tim puts the cooler down and we set up our chairs. While we were walking I started to tell him what I was planning on doing with my life and I made him promise not to laugh when I told him I was thinking politics, but of course, he's Tim Riggins, so he had to laugh and I called him on that and then he asked if I meant like Sarah Palin and that just pissed me off, so I called him an ass and was like, really? Of ALL people? I explained that I meant more like Mrs. T., but on a bigger scale. He seems supportive and tells me he can see me doing that. He opens the cooler and I quietly say his name. He looks up at me and I confess that I've been in love with him since I was five and that I haven't felt this good in so long and he immediately tells me he feels the same. I tell him it scares the hell out of me, and he holds my gaze as I tell him I have dreams. Tim tells me he knows I do and that he has dreams too, and tells me he is going to build a house where we are sitting and get a job and stay out of prison for the rest of his life. I smile at this and I know he means it. Then Tim tells me that maybe one day our dreams can merge together. I smile a little wider and think about it, and I realize how much I want it. Tim hands me a beer and holds his out for me to toast and I twist the cap off and clink my bottle to his. I'm comfortable with leaving him now. I know I will be back and I know he will be waiting for me when I am.

We stay together on Tim's land for awhile longer and then gather our things to leave. I don't really want to leave him, but it has to be done. Tim drives me home,and when we get there, he surprises me by coming around to my side and opening the door for me. I slide my hand into his and he walks me to the door. Tim looks at me for a minute and then he tells me that he will be here waiting for me when I'm done school if I decide that is what I want. I don't make any promises,and Tim doesn't ask for one. I wrap my arms around him and he leans into me burying his face in my neck. I pull back a little and bring my lips to his,and it's a kiss filled with a promise of what might be someday. I'm pretty sure I will be back for him someday. Tim leaves me, with a promise to keep in touch with me over the next two years. I smile at him and wave as he leaves the driveway and I go into the house.