Religion is fun II

By Darkmousy13

Warning: This fic is written in Komiyan style. Oh yeah, and it also contains yaoi ( that means boyxboy love). If you have anything against one of these things, don't read this. For the weak of heart: DON'T READ THIS!! I was sexually frustrated when I wrote this, so ye be warned.

Pairings: HidanXKakuzu, SasoriXDeidara and ItachiXKisame (hints)

Dedicated to Komiyan for being the best writing partner ever, to Wildflower for being my boyfriend and causing my being frustrated by going to visit his parents, and to Komi's lil' sis Rian for being such a (young!)perv, and writing such cute mails about sharks.

Religion is fun

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Chapter 2

Deidara's p.o.v.

Dear diary,

Lately things have changed in the Akatsuki's hideout. It's not like it's really different within the organisation, but the people are changing. It's like they've all become more relaxed, and I can't stand it, hmm. It's creeping me out!

It started with Uchiha 'stick-up-his-arse' Itachi. He and Kisame had returned from a mission, and during dinner, he was still his usual sulky self. Suddenly, Kisame started yelling at him, telling the Uchiha that he smelled and such nasty things, and then he stomped off. The uchiha then left as well. During the days after that, he slowly... melted. The icecube that usually surrounds him was melting away, and one time, he actually smiled at me... Around the same time, Kisame started grinning sheepishly, no matter what happened...

Next came the change in Leader and Konan. They were already our 'least seen in public' members, but they even disappeared during meetings now! And all of a sudden, they loosened the rules and everything... It's really scary.

After those two, Hidan changed. He suddenly yelled less, and he developed a strange limp, which seems to worsen after every ritual he does. Kakuzu also complains a lot less about the rituals, I guess, although that's a little less noticable. I mean, Hidan not cursing every three seconds, that's just too weird.

But the scariest thing was the change in Sasori-dono. He's been acting strange lately, and he's been locking himself up in his 'doll room' a lot more then he usually does. Then, when he finally comes out, he gives me strange looks, and he snickers, which nearly makes me piss my pants whenever he does it. He's also developed a habit to sneak up behind me when I least expe-

------the next day ------

Dear diary,

sorry for the abrupt cut-off, but sasori-dana snuck up on me. He's just told me he has some good news, but he refuses to tell me what it is... He's going to show it to me tonight, he said, with that creepy grin on his face. I wonder what he could be planning...

Anyway, about those changes. They are indeed there. I asked Zetsu, and he agrees. Something is going on here, and I'm going to find out what.

Good night for now, I'll write my findings tomorrow. My first targets will be Hidan and Kakuzu, because I've seen that, whenever Hidan leaves for a ritual, Kakuzu suddenly disappears as well... But just you wait, I'll find out what those two are up to, hmm!

Deidara

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Kakuzu dropped the book he had been reading out loud, and looked at Hidan. Hidan looked back at him.

"So, we are going to be the first, huh? That dirtly little psycho chick..." "... Hidan... you DO know that deidara is a guy, don't you?" Kakuzu asked. Hidan nodded, and grinned develishly. "Oh yeah, but to Sasori he's not..." Kakuzu looked confused. "Huh? What's Sasori got to do with this?" Hidan sighed, and smacked his forehead. "Kakuzu, you fucking idiot! Sasori's in love with Deidara!" "...WHAT?" "Yeah. But it's true. Fucking disgusting, puppet sex!" Kakuzu blushed slightly. "Whatever! That isn't the point here! I want to know how we are going to get they bastard off of our backs!" Hidan frowned. "I have an idea that might work, but I'll need your help... a lot of it." Kakuzu looked grim. "Whatever it is, I'm doing it. I still need to take revenge for that time the blonde-bimbo bastard stole my money to buy clay..." "Then it's done! the plan is as follows..."

Many whispers were uttered that night.

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Deidara snuck around the akatsuki building with incredible stealth, only to stop at the door to Hidan and Kakuzu's room. Those two had disappeared a few minutes ago, and Deidara, set on knowing what they did every time, followed them. He looked in throught the keyhole... to find a purple eye staring back at him. He jerked away as fast as he could and made a hasty retreat, but ran into someone in the process. Someone warm. "Sorry, hm!" He muttered. Two arms grabbed him, and dragged him off.

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"Hmm, sucks that he chose to look in just when I looked out! Jashin-dammit!" Hidan pouted. "We had everything ready for the plan..." Kakuzu smiled. "Doesn't matter. It's still time for a ritual. You start it, I'll prepare here..."

Hidan nodded and bet his thumb. With his blood, he painted a Jashin sign on the floor, and lay in it. "You ready, 'kuzu?" "Yeah, I am. Start it." "Your wish..." Hidan started. He laid down in the circle and closed his eyes. Immediately, he went into a state of meditation. Flying past the stars through the universe, he reached out for a far-away spot of light, and shivered as always when he felt the light touch on his outstretched arm. His eyes flew open, but the vision didn't disappear. The room was completely gone, he was lying inside his circle in the universe, stars all around him. His hand was still reaching out for the light and the light was still reaching back. Hidan smirked. It was time for some fun.

"Jashin-sama, I have brought someone to kill me today, as he will do me more harm than I myself can ever do!" "Yes, my loyal servant... Show me your pleasure and pain!" Kakuzu knew that this was his cue, and he entered the circle with a spear in his hand, a sword strapped to his back, and two weapon pouces on his legs. "Oh lord Jashin! I am here to kill your humble servant, as you will me to do!" With this, he stabbed Hidan throught the chest repeatedly with the spear, causing the platinum-haired man to moan and writhe inside the circle. Kakuzu smirked, and started slowly, very slowly, cutting Hidan's clothes open, making sure to catch his flesh in the process as well. The immortal moaned louder. "Aaaaaaaaaaah! Jashin-sama..." Kakuzu started tracing lines on Hidan's body with his VERY sharp sword, and Hidan tossed and turned, but he couldn't escape; he was in Kakuzu's power, and in Jashin's as well.

"Kill him! Finish him now!" Came the demand from above, and Kakuzu had learned to obey those commands, so he thrust the sword into Hidan's heart, making sure to hit one of his lungs as well, in the process. Hidan choked and coughed up blood. Then he moaned, arched his back off the floor and came hard into his pants. Then he lay deadly still. The stars faded, the room was returning to normal, but Kakuzu wouldn't have that. "Jashi'-sama, I might not be your high priest like this man, but I still offer my prayer!" The universe which had been fading back into their room appeared anew, and Kakuzu shook Hidan awake by rougly janking the man's pants off and thrust a few fingers in his ass. "Ka-kakuzu... nnngh! Jashin-sama..." Hidan moaned, unable to do anything else.

Suddenly Kakuzu decided that it was enough, and he thrust himself into Hidan. Quite a few inches of Kakuzu that no one but those now in the room ever saw were pushed into Hidan's ass, and he screamed in delight. Kakuzu started thrusting hard into Hidan, thrusts that would have rendered anyone but this immortal unconcious at least. He also let his threads out, and they started to pierce Hidan where ever they could, causing the immortal to cry out desperately, and then come onto Kakuzu and himself. Kakuzu felt the insides of Hidan's ass clench, and came deep inside Hidan with a loud snarl and a hiss. The two of them collapsed inside the circle, panting, as the universe faded away and only their room remained. Both of them were sweaty, bloody and naked, and enjoying every part of it.

"Fuck... Kakuzu... You make these rituals... so much better!" Hidan managed. Kakuzu pulled out and smirked. "I think I do... even I have started to enjoy them..." HE stretched, and his back popped. "Come on, let's ge clean ourselves up." Hidan smiled, and they snuck unseen through the hallway, into the shower.

A few seconds later, they almost litterally flew back out, Kakuzu blushing, Hidan yelling lots of curses. "Oh JASHIN-SAMA! HOW IS THIS FUCKING POSSIBLE! IT BURNS MY EYES OUT!"

Inside the shower, someone shrugged, and continued what he was doing before he was rudely interupted...

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A/N: Well, aren't you excited to know what happens next? Hah! Too bad for you, because this is the END! At least of religion is fun, because that's only about Hidan and Kakuzu. I might make a sequel though... I have two more pairings to handle, at least...

"Showering is fun" and "Living is fun" would be nice titles... Both two shots, like this one.

I always like to hear suggestions, and reviews are much appreciated...

p.s. And, rian-chan, did you like it? I hope you did, although I think it might have been a little rough for you. You get to choose the shower pairing (SasorixDeidara or ItachixKisame). That is, if you react before tueseday (by mail is okay ), because I wanna up that thing on wednesday. 'kay? I'll have your big sis mail this crappy story, ne, Komi? Oh yeah, and your NejiXKiba is in the works, we're doing it together.

WildFlower, love, how did you like it? I told you anime could be bloody sexy, didn't I? Aww well, now you know. Arent you happy, I dedicated this to you 'You inspire me greatly, in so many ways... wink Anyway, i miss you. Return to the circus as soon as you can... Please? And next time I'm coming along to visit your parents, wether you like it or not! huffs blows kiss

p.s. 2: For someone who has asked (the person knows... believe me...) Yes, I am really gay, and I have a boyfriend. Personal questions on personal message...

Byez!

DM13 greets you.