BROKEN- Cato's Point of View

I awoke in a white room, the scent of blood the only thing I could really tell. I stumble furiously from the bed, looking for anything sharp in sight. "Katniss Everdeen." I growl to myself. I hated her for what she'd done to you.

I find a measly syringe. Cato Jensen, going against the Girl on Fire with a syringe. How pathetic. Never mind the ridiculous excuse for a weapon, I was ready to kill her. One last kill.

The games were over, yes. But the vengeance I seek, was not. Katniss Everdeen had shot an arrow straight through your heart. The one thing you ever used sanely, she shot an arrow through.

I pound on the metal door, wising it would open. After several failed attempts, I grip my chipped fingernails into the door and yank it open as hard as I can. Thanks to my brute force, it works.

I run through the halls, despite how horribly my legs hurt. I always hated Katniss for the place she held in your heart, but the fact she used you and then killed you so mercilessly? It was absurd. She had toyed with your fragile little heart, then after she broke it she swept the pieces away instead of letting me fix it. She didn't want to deal with the guilt, I suspect. So she killed you. She restrained me from ever holding the one person I loved again. From ever kissing you in the rain or cradling you into my warmth to save you from the cold. In a way, she killed us both.

I grip the syringe tighter when I remember your scared expression as I watched you dangle from the cornucopia by my hand. I remember screaming your name. "Peeta! Peeta!" I screamed. But it was too late. Too late to save my love. Because by then, Katniss had shot an arrow at my arm, causing me to go hurdling down with you. I suppose they kept me alive so I could wallow in the pain and hurt. So I had to live with the memory of not being able to save you. But still I only blame the Girl on Fire. But I cannot get to her now. I'll wait.

I drop the syringe in the hallway and head to the second floor where my room used to be. I put on the clothes that lay on the bed, which I guess are my interview clothes. I should at least leave the girl to wallow in the humiliation in front of all of Panem.

As we are sent to the stage with Caesar Flickerman, I find they've set up the most ridiculous hoax ever. That me and this low life girl, were in love the whole time. That after I passed out from the fall she saved my life. And then after a while, I realize she actually does love me.

How dare she. Lie to the whole of Panem, then out of guilt kill the accomplice, you. This girl has no clue what love is. If she really loved either of us, she'd let you live. You should always want happiness for the one person you love. I suppose that's why I kept this girl alive so long. Because you cared for her.

I answer nothing they ask me. I sit there and mope the whole time. I send a few glares at Katniss, and that is most of the interaction I choose to do. Then they ask me about you. Ask me what I was thinking as I held you over the edge of the cornucopia. As I screamed your name. This draws tears out of my eyes. The thought, and the fact they are asking me what I was thinking. What wouldn't I be thinking! You were the one thing that's ever meant anything to me, and the Capitol and the Girl on Fire tossed it away like it was nothing.

The train ride to twelve, the new place I am forced to live because of her, is horrible. After an hour I feel like I want to throw up as she cuddles against me and talks of how she saved me in front of her escort and mentor. As they leave the cart that night, I ask to go to her room. She smiles brightly at me and acts as though she never even laid a finger on you.

As we enter before she can even bellow another word I have pinned her against the wall by her throat.

"C-Cato! What are you doing!" She chokes out. I just smirk at her.

"Killing you, Fire Girl." I say plainly, pressing harder.

"B-But I saved you!" She chokes again.

"Saved me? I'd rather be dead! You honestly think I could ever care for you? For the person who killed my one true love? Screw your head on straight, sweetheart, that'll never happen." I hiss at her, and you could practically see the exact moment her heart broke in half.

"Cato please! I did it so I could start something with you! You don't understand!" She argues.

"No, I do. You tore his heart into a million pieces to get out of some lie, then expected me to be okay with it. You could tell. I know you could tell how I felt, and you, jealous little Fire Girl, went off and ripped that broken heart up even more. I'll never forgive you. He wouldn't either, if you had done so to me. I loved Peeta Mellark. I loved him with everything I had to offer, which wasn't much, and he graciously accepted me into his heart like the angel he was. And now you expect me, being heart-broken and scared and alone in this world, to love you? You're sick, Katniss Everdeen. Sick." I say coldly, leaving her absolutely speechless. It was all true though. If only you were here to restrain me. To hold me and whisper in my ear that it was alright. To kiss me gently and reassure me that I wasn't a monster. That I wasn't heartless. You could do indescribable things to me, and I didn't understand how you made a man of my nature so weak and vulnerable. I was like your own little marionette puppet, that you could do anything with and I'd have to listen. But you wouldn't dare hurt me.

"C-Cato... Please. I regret doing that! You know I do!" She yells. "Cato, I know I shouldn't but I feel something for you. I know I shouldn't have killed him, but at the time I felt like it was the only way to get to you!"

I spit in her face. "Then you were a fool. One of the biggest fools I've ever known. You still are one." I say, and press her against the wall even harder, watching her face turn purple and her gasp for air, to no avail.

Then I remember the promise I'd made to you. I swore I'd never let my dark side out again. I'd never hurt anyone again. Not even if it was to get revenge. I slowly let her go.

"Don't you ever speak to me again, Katniss. I don't even want to look at you. You disgust me. I hate everything there is about you. I hate your fierceness. I hate your bravery. It's all a fraud to cover up the lie that is the heroic Girl on Fire. You're a disgrace." Are the last words I say to your former love before shoving her to the ground and walking boldly away.

I hear multiple sobs escape her lips from my room that night, and I need to hold back my laughs of success. She's hurting just as much as I am. I've successfully broken her without actually inflicting physical pain on her body. And as I cry my eyes out, I know that I've done something horrible, something you wouldn't approve of. But she deserved it. I know she did, didn't she? I mean, she killed you. She killed you without thought...

I find myself ready to tap on her door when your drunken mentor stops me. "Cato, you know not to do anything intimate on the train!" He says, laughing at his own joke.

"I hate her. I'm going to tell her to stop crying." I say plainly.

"You? The star-crossed lover?" He says, and this time it seems like it isn't a joke. "Cato, come have a drink with me. We need to talk."

I follow him to the bar cart, and pretend to sip away the bitter liquid he pours into my glass. "Why are you having me talk to you?" I ask coldly.

"Because. Katniss may have killed him, but that's no reason to treat her this way." He says almost soberly.

"There's plenty reason! I was in love with him! She's lucky I haven't ripped her head off!" I yell at him, hoping I didn't just wake Effie up.

"Well, believe what you want to believe, but I don't think treating someone that way is fair."

He doesn't understand. No one understands. I'm expected to love the person who killed you, my dear. I'm supposed to be cradling her in my arms right now, talking about how happy I am we sacrificed you. But I'm not happy. I'll never be happy again without you. I need you, Peeta Mellark, and I can't have you.