Austin had a different time preparing Dez. For example, Austin didn't have a problem finding Dez because Dez found him. Dez arrived at Austin's house in a panic first thing in the morning, inviting himself into the Moon household and pounding on Austin's bedroom door.
Austin awoke to the sound of the knocking, moaned and rolled over, covering his ears with his pillow. "Dad, it's Saturday!" he complained groggily. The knocking didn't stop. Austin peaked at the clock on his bedside table. Seven? That's when he woke up for school. "Five more minutes," he begged. Still the sound didn't stop. He groaned loudly, forced his sleepy body up, and ruffled his bed-hair flat as he walk to open his bedroom door. "Fine Dad, I'm awa- Dez?" Austin blinked and rubbed his eyes, why was Dez pounding on his door?
Dez walked right in and started pacing back and forth, while Austin just stood by his door watching Dez in a state of shock and exhaustion. "Austin, I just had the worst dream! I dreamt that I was supposed to have a date with Trish tonight at some fancy-froo-froo-no-fun restaurant that Ally likes!"
Austin spoke through a yawn "That wasn't a dream Dez. You and Trish agreed to go out, remember? Since Ally and I have to work a lot this week."
"What?" Dez's eyes widened in terror, he stopped pacing mid step, and fell face first onto the floor. "Why would you let me do something like that, Austin? You know I'm not good making decisions under pressure!"
Austin stepped away from the door and knelt beside his friend. "What's so nightmarish about going on a date with Trish? You guys are friends. I think you'll actually have fun."
Dez spoke into Austin's shag carpet, his words muffled. "I'm not good at these things, Austin! I'm not like you, cool and charismatic with perfect hair and a cute nose, I don't know the first thing about dates!"
Austin couldn't help but grin and flip his hair at the acknowledgment of his natural perfection. "Well, I guess I do have a pretty cute nose… But you don't need to be like me, Dez is great just the way he is!"
Dez groaned. "You don't get it Austin," he sat up finally "I've never been to a fancy restaurant before. I'm going to just make a total fool of myself in front of Trish."
"Dude, you do that all the time anyway," Austin said, trying to console his friend while standing up to stretch.
"Well, yeah," Dez agreed, nodding "but this time I could ruin things. Like, what if at dinner I ordered something that's meant to be served cold and then I use the wrong spoon to taste it and then I send it back to the chef to get heated up and the waiter kicks us out and then everyone laughs and then I trip and fall on my face?"
Austin shrugged "What if?" he asked rhetorically to express that would probably be no big deal.
Dez jumped up and shook Austin by the shoulders. "I'll tell you what if! Trish will get too embarrassed to even be around me and then she'll stop being your manager and she'll get a new client and then she'll take Ally with her and she'll stop writing your songs and your last song will be a flop and you won't get to be famous Austin Moon anymore and I won't get to be Austin Moon's director and we'll have to go into hiding and we won't be prepared for the alien invasion and we'll all die in a fire pit and it will be all my fault!" by the end of his rant Dez was screaming in Austin's face.
Austin laughed at how unrealistic his friend was being. "Dez, that would never happen. For one thing, we're already prepared for an alien invasion, remember?" They both instantly made gunshot noises with their mouth and pointed their fingers around to secure the perimeter, then went back to how they were before. "Secondly, Ally would never stop writing songs for me. And thirdly, Trish already is too embarrassed to be seen with you, so there's nothing to lose!" Austin was speaking optimistically, but Dez just flopped onto the bed and pouted. Austin rolled his eyes and smiled. "But if it makes you feel better, I'll help you get ready."
Dez jumped up and started to dance around. "Yes! Thank you Austin! You're the best best friend ever!"
Austin smiled and yawned. Yeah, he's a nice guy. "Okay, okay, settle down boy." Dez obeyed and began panting like a dog. He shook his hair in Austin's face. Austin spat it out. "First you need to get out so I can, you know, get dressed." Dez suddenly noticed that Austin was in nothing but his boxers.
"Oh, right." Dez replied, leaving Austin's room "I'll go and greet your parents. Maybe your mom will scream again, that was funny!"
When the door shut behind Dez, Austin rolled his eyes. Oh Dez.
They ended up switching to Dez's house, since Dez ended up being allergic to all of Austin's hair care products. His face was now red and puffy. They had spent two hours in Dez's mom's bathroom trying to use her make up and moose to fix Dez up.
First they tried to fix the red splotches on Dez's face. Austin sat Dez down to keep him calm while Austin himself searched through the make up bag—Dez's mom wouldn't mind if it was all for the good of her son, right? He found a bottle of liquid concealer. "Hey look, Dez, this will conceal your redness!"
"What! I like my redness! Don't cover my hair!" Dez protected his head with his arms.
"No, Dez, I meant your allergic reaction." Austin clarified as he looked for sponge of some sort.
"Oh," Dez relaxed his defensive position. "Are you sure you know how to use that stuff, Austin?"
Austin laughed cockily as he shook the bottle. "Of course, how hard could it be? I'm a smart guy." Dez couldn't help but agree. Austin opened the bottle and poured some of the concealer on a washcloth, but he accidentally poured too much, soaking the entire rag. Austin quickly closed the bottle. "Um, I meant to do that. Now close your eyes." Dez consented and Austin began to paint Dez's face.
Austin's first mistake, as anyone with experience could tell, was using a wash cloth, but it was not his only mistake. The concealer had a rough and patchy texture on Dez's face, and instead of grabbing a brush to spread it out, Austin just applied more concealer. By the time he finished, Dez's cheeks and forehead were coated in a thick layer of fake, shimmery tan.
Austin put down the washcloth. "Okay, um, open your eyes." Dez obeyed and stared at himself in the mirror, his eyes opened wide in shock. Austin cringed, feeling guilty. "It makes your… eyes pop." Austin said, trying to see the silver lining.
"Are you kidding!" Dez screamed, and Austin graced himself for a freak out. "You did a great job Austin! You can't even see how splotchy my face is!" Dez admired his reflection.
Austin sighed in relief. He wouldn't let Dez actually leave the house like that, maybe, but whatever made Dez feel more confident about this outing was much appreciated. "Okay, now we have to gel your hair back." Austin said, covering his hands in slime.
Dez cringed "Um, why? I like my hair. It's free flowing, like a forest fire, woosh!" Dez made a face as if his head had gone up in flames and started screaming, frantically trying to put it out his head.
"Dez, your hair is just fine and not on fire!" Austin yelled, and Dez sighed in relief. "We just have to gel it because that's what all those people on T.V. do with their hair when they go to fancy places."
"Yeah, in like sitcoms from the 80's…" Dez mumbled.
"HEY! Don't knock Family Ties!" Austin said defensively, he regained his composure. "Just let me do your hair, okay?" Dez stopped squirming and Austin began running his fingers through his friend's hair. He felt kind of neat, like his barber. Austin began spinning Dez's chair around to see him and felt it was his job to make small talk.
"So, kid, what's the occasion?" Austin asked.
"You know the occasion, Austin. You're forcing me on a date with Trish!" Dez was shocked that Austin could forget so easily.
"No, Dez, I'm not Austin right now! I'm Raoul, world-class professional hair person." Austin flipped his hair and rolled his R's.
"Oh, sorry, my bad man. You just look a lot like my best friend, Austin Moon. He's an internet sensation." Dez was completely fooled within a second, even though Austin wasn't even trying to completely fool him.
Austin grinned. "Austin Moon? I don't know him, but he sounds muy caliente."
Dez nodded. "Tres taco."
"Si!" Austin laughed at his friend's genuine silliness. "So, you didn't tell me what the occasion was, but there is only one reason. There is a girl, si?" Rolling his R's was beginning to tickle his mouth.
Dez sighed, his entire head dropping, causing Austin to lurch forward as his hands with in Dez's hair. "Yeah, sort of. I guess." Dez sat back up as Austin regained his balance, but then swung himself to the side, almost kicking Austin over. "See, our friends thought it would be fun to set us up on a date. And I mean, it's supposed to be a friend date, but there's all this pressure! Like, we could have just gone to a Zaliens movie or the arcade or the skating rink, but we have to go to this boring fancy restaurant my super serious friend Ally likes, and I could mess up everything!"
"It sounds to me, my friend, like you are worrying too much." Austin said, repositioning Dez in a way he could style his hair.
"Yeah, that's what Austin said." Dez replied, still believing that the boy behind him was not actually his friend.
"Well this Austin seems to know what he's talking about. You should listen to him. You could never ruin a friendship with one night at a fancy restaurant." Austin had the urge to curl a non-existent Italian mustache.
"Yeah, but I'm not only afraid of ruining a friendship." Dez spun himself around in the chair casually. "I'm also afraid of Trish." Austin just nodded, this didn't seem to be anything new. Dez stopped spinning. "Like... she's just really pretty and I'm just Dez. Does that make sense, Raoul?"
Wait what? Austin looked at his friend and saw the puppy dog-like confusion expressed on his face. So that scheming Ally had been right. No way. He shook his head. So all this freaking out Dez had done wasn't about ruining Team Austin, but just him being terrified for his first date with a girl he likes and he doesn't even know it. Once Austin had processed this information he smiled and decided Raoul had finished his job. "Oh, hey Dez, Raoul just left. He said you were done. I tipped him."
"Oh good! I'm glad you're back Austin!" Dez jumped up without even looking at his hair in the mirror. "No offense to him, but that Raoul guy was kind of annoying. Like, dude, stay out of my personal life."
"No kidding," Austin chuckled and patted his friend's shoulder. "Come on, buddy, let's go find you a suit to wear."
