In Every Life
Chapter 2: In My Veins
Soulmate Prompt: Yes, I know everyone does this, call me cheesy but I love these kinds of stories. When soulmates meet, their marks start to appear. At first, they are quite subtle but the more time they spend with their soulmate the more vibrant their marks get. When they fall in love the marks turn silver. Set in high school.
It was a warm summer day when Barry first realised he had gotten his soulmate mark. He had been in the shower when he had first noticed the faded blue lines on his ankle, the form resembling a snowflake. But as he stared at it now he realised that the mark was becoming much more vibrant, as if he'd been spending time with his soulmate. With a smile, he rushed to school, desperate to talk to his friends.
Caitlin sat at one of the tables outside of the school, focused on her science homework while Cisco sat beside her, ranting on about the girl he had met last week and how he was sure she was 'the one'. The ever elusive 'soulmate'. Caitlin couldn't understand all the fuss, she had gotten her soul mark a while ago and nothing really changed.
Barry ran up to the table, a large grin on his face as he sat down. Realising she wouldn't get any work done with the two of them around she closed her science book with a sigh.
"What's up?" she asked, turning to face him, she wanted to be mad at him for interrupting her study time but the smile on his face was so bright she couldn't help but smile back
"My soulmate, my mark is getting darker" he said with a grin
"You have your mark? Why didn't you tell us when it appeared?" Cisco asked, sitting on the other side of Barry.
"Because I had no idea who it was, but it's getting darker so that means I must know her right? They only get darker when you spend time with them" he said excitedly
"Well? Come on show us the mark" Cisco said impatiently
Barry reached down to his left leg and pulled the bottom of his jeans up, showing them the sky-blue lines that formed a delicate snowflake on his ankle. Caitlin's heart leapt for a moment before freezing, if she had been drinking something this would be the time where she'd spit it out dramatically.
"Cool mark man, mine's just a bunch of curved lines faced towards each other" Cisco commented "So who's the girl?"
"Iris, I'm sure of it" Barry says with a smile and Caitlin's frozen heart quickly falls to the floor, shattering at her feet.
"But why the snowflake? What's that got to do with Iris?" Cisco asks
"Well it was snowing the day we met, we barely even spoke but I remember that it was snowing. It has to be her. Plus I've liked her since forever"
Cisco claps him on the shoulder "Well good for you Barry, I'm glad you found your person"
Caitlin forces a smile "That's great Barry. Iris is a lucky girl… I actually have to go, I forgot I need to ask Ms Thompson about something for history" she said hurriedly picking up her books and ignoring the weird looks Cisco and Barry gave her as she fled from their table.
Quickly entering the first bathroom she saw, she placed her bag down and pulled at the grey sweater she was wearing. Pulling it just far enough she glanced at the mark halfway between her collarbone and her shoulder. The once dark blue lines of the snowflake etched into her skin had turned a light blue.
Supressing a sob, she pulled her sweater back up, gripping the sink in front of her with both hands.
'Barry!' she thought 'My soulmate was Barry? This couldn't be happening, this could not be happening. Barry was one of her best friends! He was the guy who brought over soup when she was sick and comforted her when her dad left. And yes, she may have had a teeny crush on him but soulmates?'
She shook her head 'There must have been some sort of mistake, I mean those must happen sometimes, right? Maybe they just had really similar marks'
With a scoff, she broke down, sobbing over the sink. She didn't even believe the things she was thinking. Her soulmate was her best-friend, and he wanted it to be someone else.
…..
A week later Barry trudged into school, a sour look on his face as he dumped his bag to the ground. Caitlin and Cisco looked up as he sat down with a huff.
"Something wrong Bar?" Caitlin asked, concerned
"Iris isn't my soulmate" he said with a sigh, scowling at the table.
To Caitlin this was no news but still she leant forward, placing a hand on Barry's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him "What happened?"
"I saw her mark, it's a coffee cup. We don't match" he said sullenly, leaning into Caitlin's touch, letting her familiar warmth help soothe his troubled heart.
"I'm sorry man" Cisco says sympathetically
"I thought I'd finally found her you know? I thought that I'd finally found the person who I was destined to be with and now I'm back to square one again" Barry says with a sigh
"Do you have any idea who else it could be?" Cisco asks and Caitlin looks to Barry, her breath caught in her throat.
"No, I mean it could be anyone, right? It could just be a girl in one of my classes"
Inwardly she sighs with relief, outwardly she gives him a sympathetic smile and squeezes his shoulder, unaware that Cisco's curious eyes were watching her.
….
Weeks passed and Caitlin and Cisco were recruited into helping Barry narrow down who his soulmate could be. As Barry and Caitlin were both caffeine addicts they decided to stop off at a local coffee shop, an espresso for Barry, a hazelnut latte for Caitlin and some sort of seasonal frappe for Cisco, topped with cream and sprinkles.
"Maybe it's someone from here" Cisco said as they sat to wait for their drinks, quickly grabbing the only single chair so Barry and Caitlin would have to take the loveseat.
"Highly unlikely, the mark only gets darker when you spend heaps of time with them. I don't come here that often" Barry responded
"Well then it couldn't just be some random, it has to be someone we know" with a smile Cisco continued "What about Patty?" he asked, watching for Caitlin's reaction
"We only went out once and there was just no… connection you know?" Barry sighed "I just want to find her"
Caitlin began chewing on her bottom lip, the feeling like she was about to explode consuming her. Barry noticed and reached over, grabbing her hand "You okay? You're doing that biting your lower lip thing again?"
"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine, just school stuff" Barry looked like he wanted to question her further but was soon distracted by their waitress coming over with their drinks, abruptly turning pink.
Caitlin looked up to see what was bothering him and inwardly winced, Iris was headed over to them, three drinks on the tray she carried in her hands.
"Hey guys" she said brightly as she laid their beverages on the table.
Barry mumbled a hello, awkwardly looking at his feet, Caitlin, sensing his discomfort squeezed his hand, brushing her thumb over it as she made polite conversation with Iris.
Barry looked at their intertwined hands, she always knew how to comfort him. He watched as she laughed at something Iris said, oddly enough he felt better now, lighter in a way.
As Iris left with a wave and they got back into their conversation Barry was left thinking;
Why couldn't Caitlin have been my soulmate?
….
Another month passed and Barry looked unrelentingly for his soulmate, Caitlin felt her gut twist with guilt every time he thought he'd found 'her' only to be crushed yet again. Cisco had confronted her one afternoon after school, he'd given her two weeks to tell Barry otherwise he would.
In the end, she never had to tell him anything.
…
It had been a hot summer day, during the school break. Caitlin's mother was away, as usual, which meant Caitlin had no reason to cover up her soul mark, choosing to dress for comfort in the hot weather and wearing a string tank top and some shorts. So, when the doorbell rang she hadn't pulled something else on, thinking it was just the pizza delivery guy.
Her heart stopped when she swung open the door to see Barry standing on his doorstep. Of course, his eyes fixated on the mark on her shoulder, confusion clouding his face. That confusion quickly turned to anger and with a scoff he wordlessly turned around and stormed off her doorstep, ignoring Caitlin as she plead with him to let her explain.
The next day Cisco came over, the look of disappointment on his face giving away that he had already talked to Barry. Caitlin, wrung her head in her hands as they sat down on her couch, the guilt eating away at her.
"I've ruined everything! I feel so stupid" she groaned as Cisco sat beside her, listening sympathetically.
"I don't understand, why didn't you just tell him?" Cisco asks
She sighs, staring down into her hands "Because I wanted him to want me, and not because a mark told him to…. Because Barry is… warm, and funny, and kind. He wears his heart on his sleeve and always tries to see the good in people. I'm…not like that, I'm cold, and awkward and I'm practically terrified of letting anyone close to me… I would ruin him"
Instead of loudly protesting like I expected him to, Cisco moves closer, giving her a one-armed hug "For the record I don't think you're any of those things, you just have these walls up, to protect yourself. Maybe you should tell Barry this, he thinks you didn't tell him because you don't like him that way"
"That's ridiculous!" she huffs "I've always liked him, even before I noticed this stupid mark" she said, touching her shoulder where her mark was "When he showed us his mark, for a second there I was happy, terrified but happy. And then he said Iris, and I saw the way his face lit up when he said her name. He doesn't want me Cisco"
She broke down, sobbing onto his shoulder as he sat with her, comforting her. Cisco, hating seeing his best friends hurting swore then and there that he would do whatever it took to get these two to work things out.
…
A week of sulking passed before Cisco had had enough, banging on Barry's front door and storming inside when he opened it.
"Are the two of you ever going to talk about this?" he shouted, turning on a bewildered Barry "I don't want to have to go back and forth my best friends forever"
"You don't understand Cisco" Barry groaned
"Don't understand what? That you're one of the lucky people on this earth to meet their soulmate and instead of grabbing hold of her you're pushing her away?"
"I'm pushing her away? She knew for months and never said anything!" Barry yelled
"Of course she didn't! She's Caitlin, her trust issues are bigger than most rainforests. The first person you thought was your soulmate was Iris Barry, she thinks you don't want her" Cisco explained
"But that's ridiculous, who wouldn't want her? She's smart, and gorgeous, and probably the most caring person I know" Barry frowned, surely she knew that?... Wait when did I start thinking about Caitlin that way?
Cisco sighs, running a hand through his hair "Barry, her father left when she was 9, her mother is never home. She didn't grow up like you did, she doesn't love so openly, you know that. She thinks she's not good enough for you"
At this Barry's head perked up, disbelief and anguish written clearly across his face "I-I have to go see her" he stammered, staggering forward and grabbing his keys before rushing out the door.
Cisco looked around the silent house, "Well I guess I'll just let myself out"
I better be best man at their wedding
…..
Caitlin looked like a mess, the mirror reflected the tiredness in her bloodshot eyes, the dark shadows under her eyes from nights of waking up screaming. She was pale, her skin appearing almost papery in her reflection. With a sigh, she pulled her hair into a ponytail and headed back downstairs to the loungeroom to watch another movie.
She was 20 minutes into Bridesmaids when she heard a knock at the door. Pausing the movie, she got up and headed down the hallway to open the door. She froze, seeing Barry on her doorstep again.
"B-Barry? Wha-What are you doing here?" She stammered, suddenly feeling self-conscious of her appearance.
He stood on her doorstep, not yet meeting her eyes as he held his hands in his jacket pockets "We need to talk" he said, staring at the ground
"Okay, um… come in I guess" she said, holding the door open for him as he walked inside, she spoke as she closed the door "Barry I'm sorry, I know I hurt you"
He turned, still not meeting her eyes "Why did you do it? I mean, was it funny? Watching me look for my soulmate when you knew, you knew I would never find her?" he spat, bitterness lacing his voice
"No! Of course not!"
"Then why!" he shouted, his sudden anger making her jump "Make me understand Caitlin!"
"I-" the words caught in her throat, she never meant for any of this to happen "I don't know! I don't know Barry, I was scared. I'm sorry"
"I need more than that Caitlin, I mean was I not good enough? Was the thought of being my soulmate so repulsive you had to hide it?"
"No! No Barry that was never it!" she cried out couldn't he see that it was her that was the problem?
"Then why" he repeated "I'm asking you now to tell me why, to explain Cait. I can't do this much longer"
She waited a few more moments before speaking "I didn't want to lose you" she said quietly, looking down at her hands
"Lose me? How would telling me that we're soulmates make you lose me?"
"Because it's not me that you want Barry, I could never compete with Iris"
"I never would have asked you to, you're my soulmate Caitlin"
"Don't you remember who you first thought of when you found your soul mark? You wanted Iris, you love Iris" The words seemed to be coming back to haunt him now, ringing in his head, mocking him.
"But you're different, we're different. We're soulmates"
"So, what? You'd stay with me because a mark told you to? I wanted to you love me because you loved me, not because you had no other choice" she rubs at her eyes furiously and for the first time since he stepped into his house Barry looks up.
"Hey, hey" he stepped closer, gently pulling her hands away from her face and looking into her eyes "You've been crying" he muttered, mindlessly wiping away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs.
"I'm sorry Barry. You deserve better than this" she sniffs "I'm such a mess"
"You're perfect" he said quietly, his thumb now brushing against her jaw
"Barry…" she breathed, suddenly aware of how close his face was to hers
"Caitlin" he studied her face, taking in every detail he had never noticed before. Like how her brown eyes seemed almost hazel in this light or how red her lips usually were.
"I-I'm no good for you, I'm cold Barry"
"You feel plenty warm to me" he muttered as his hands shifted to cup her face
"I'm serious Barry" she mumbled, she could feel his breath on her face, her heartbeat speeding up from their close proximity "You'd be better off with someone else, someone who c-"
"Cait stop" he interrupted her rambling "Do you love me?"
She stared up at him, not willing to break the connection between them "Always, I can't help it. You're in me"
He broke into a smile before pressing his lips slightly to hers. It was only a brief kiss, both pulling away quickly but it was enough to leave them both breathless.
"But- but Iris?" she asked
He shook his head, smiling at her again "It was over before it even started. And it hurt, I won't deny that… But the thought of losing you? Of not being able to see you every day? It's unbearable Cait. I need you in my life"
"You're not just saying that because of the soul mark?" she asked, tears quickly refilling her eyes
He laughed "What do I have to say to prove it to you? I want you Caitlin, I need you…. I love you"
She was the one who kissed him this time, reaching up onto her toes and pulling his towards her, desperate to be engulfed in the flame he had set alight in her with just one kiss. He eagerly responded, hands sliding down to her waist to pull her closer.
They ended up on the couch, Caitlin straddling his lap as he kissed her face, her lips, her jaw, he didn't want to leave once space untouched. His fingers deftly pulled up her jumper, his mouth now planted on her neck. He pulled away moments later, a breathless and confused Caitlin staring down at him.
"What's the matter? Did I do something wrong?"
Wordlessly he brushed his fingers against her soul mark, the mark that told the world that she was his and he was hers. Light blue lines now turned silver. She looked to where his hands were, smiling as she spotted the familiar marking. Raising her hand, she held his down "Well I guess there's no getting rid of you now. You're literally a part of me"
"I love you Caitlin"
"I love you too Barry, so very much"
