Disclaimer: I don't own twilight.

"Bella, we need to go shopping. I've already seen it. Therefore it will happen. So let's not waste valuable shopping time arguing!" The evil little pixie begged.

"Ugh! You packed me enough clothes already!" I argued.

"Okay. Let me put it this way. I know that Edward has plans for you and for that to happen you need to be wearing something I didn't pack. So come shopping now and have good, dirty Edward fun later, or don't go shopping and don't have dirty Edward fun. You choose."

"Really?! Does he give in like he said he would?!" I screamed.

"Yes but that's only if you come shopping with me." She said calmly.

Before she could say another word I was running down to her yellow Porsche. I was excited for a shopping trip with Alice, this was a first.

When we got to the humongous mall of Seattle I was still smiling about the news Alice gave me.

We spent 2 hours going into stores and trying on clothes, um wait ME trying on clothes, Alice watching me in pain. All of a sudden while we were walking past these stores Alice screamed and started to run towards this random shop. Uh, not some random shop, a shop that reeked of sex. In the window there was what looked like a dominatrix outfit.

"Alice. Uh, I'm not going in there"

"Yes you are silly! This is where your magical 'Edward gives into you wishes' outfit is!" she screeched.

"NO! There has to be another way!"

"Fine, no Edward, no sex"

"Okay. Let's go in"

She grinned "I'm amazed at the power of just the thought of Edward has over you"

"Well, I love him" I said looking at a sex toy that was very confusing to look at. I wonder where it goes or what it does.

"Jasper and I enjoy that. Do you want one?" she asked looking over my shoulder.

"Okay. One, I don't know what it's for. Two, I didn't need to know that fact about Jasper and you're sex life. And three, Edward hasn't even seen me naked. I don't think we're going to go from 0 to 50 very soon."

"You have no idea what sex can do to you, do you? Especially to a 109 year old virgin" she giggled.

" Ugh. Let's just find the 'magical' outfit and get out of here!"

Edward and I aren't going to be sex-crazed maniacs like the other Cullen's. Are we? That wouldn't be such a bad thing though….

"Here it is!" she exclaimed jumping up and down. "go try it on!" shoving it in my arms. This so called 'dress' was blue and was barely long enough t cover my butt, had a low neck line, and had a giant hole like thing in the side. But it fit like spandex and even I had to admit I looked hot. The guy working there even had a hard on.

"Alice this isn't really covering enough for me. It's like a long shirt with a revealing rip." I complained

"Edward!" she said in a singsong voice. "go back and take it off so that I can pay for it!"

I threw it over the door to her and when I came out she had paid for it and was carrying a big bag obviously not just the dress was in there.

"What else did you buy Alice? It better not be for me"

"Hey-I needed a few things too!" she said giggling. "Jas and I have to come up with creative ways to spend our never-sleeping life!"

"Too much information Alice!"

"Okay sorry! You're going to want tips later though! Now that we found the dress we can go back and get you ready for Edward!"

hmm what DID Alice buy? haha

No lemons, I know, sad day! But I needed a little bit to make a story and not just a lemontastic story, even though it will still be a lemontastic story. Haha. Thanks for reading. I really appreciate feedback. So! If you review I will give you a hint about the next chapter!!