Chapter 2: Annoying Hopes

After adjusting his long, blonde hair slightly, so that what was not held back in a pony-tail was firmly tucked behind his ears, he scanned the tavern with his unusually golden eyes to try to spot his old man. Unsurprisingly, Hoenheim was over at the bar engaged in conversation with the toothless prune of a bartender, Tom, about something in the newspaper. So, Edward decided he should get off the stairway leading to the upper floor and find a nice, isolated booth in which to wait for the old acquaintance of his father's who, the old man had assured him, would be able to help them find the information they needed. No need to talk to Dad until it was time to get down to business, after all.

So, Edward plopped down in a shadowy booth in the corner of the Leaky Cauldron's dining area and brooded while he waited. He had been in places that were more run down than this bar, but all of those buildings had been condemned. The paint on the walls, which was supposed to be white, had been discolored by years of tobacco smoke, alcohol fumes, human spew, and God knows what else to the point that it was a green-tinted grey-yellow. All the wood in the place, from the trim and beams to the tables and chairs was in the same sad state – the stain, which was meant to keep it looking a dark chestnut brown had been worn and, in some places, peeled away over the years, making it look dull and decrepit rather than warm. Lighting was inadequately provided by a large (although still too small for the room) hearth, several junkie lamps, a candle or two, and some mystical knick-knacks positioned at the center of each table that emitted an eerie green light. Still, for all its seedier elements, the pub had a certain unpretentious, homey charm to it that, at least to Edward, was quite welcoming.

Thus, he could not repress a sense of profound irony as he thought about the fact that being on this particular version of the earth, as opposed to the one he was born on, meant that he did not feel welcome no matter where he went. Edward Elric was, after all, from what the physicist of this world, Einstein, called an alternate dimension. He had travelled here by pure chance after using himself as material in an alchemic reaction to restore his brother, Alphonse, to life. Apparently, The Gate, or Truth, or whatever it wanted to call itself had a sick sense of humor because it had deposited him close to his father, whom he loathed for his lack of being a father, and in a place where the laws of alchemy were more than a little different.

According to Hoenheim, whose advice he usually didn't take for obvious reasons, but who was definitely a true authority on alchemy, the wizards of this world were actually alchemists of a kind. Apparently, their wands, as they called those stupid sticks, acted as a type of focusing matrix that allowed them to alter the nature of their internal energies and, thereby, bypass on most occasions the need to for equivalent exchange of matter when performing a reaction. It was enough, outside of potion making and transfigurations, to have the needed energy for the reaction as opposed to the matter. Even in the case of transfiguration, the matter sacrificed wasn't so much sacrificed as temporarily, and only superficially, altered. Basically, they were skipping the middle step in the alchemic process by merely analyzing, in the form on an incantation, and constructing with their energy. A handy way to get around to work of learning the science, he thought, and so he wasn't surprised when he realized that wizards thought they were performing "magic" as opposed to science.

Although he was still able to perform his type of alchemy, "magic" did offer a way to get home that might preclude the terrible price of a Philosopher's Stone. So, naturally, he and Hoenheim had set out to learn all they could about the more archaic and mysterious aspects of magic. The problem was, like all mysterious knowledge, those things were hard to find. Supposedly, Hoenheim's old buddy could fix that problem, though, since the school he ran had an extensive and restricted library of the highest caliber. Now if only this old friend would show up, Edward wasn't known for his patience after all.

xXx

After nearly half-an-hour of brooding a strange old man, with a beard longer than Ed was tall, half-moon spectacles, and a preposterous blue velvet robe began to converse with his Hoenheim over by the bar, leading Ed to believe his man had arrived. His suspicion was confirmed when Hoenheim rose from his stool and started to walk towards him, motioning for the geezer to follow. Now, finally, they might have a hope of making some progress.

Hoenheim allowed the geezer to take the booth seat across from Edwards, and pulled up a chair for himself, so that he was situated between the two.

"Edward, this is Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which is home I hear to the best library in the magical world," said Hoenheim. "Albus, this is my son, Edward."

"A pleasure to meet you young Edward," said Dumbledore. "And, I must say, you are the spitting image of your father."

"Even if I wanted to, I can't do much about genetics old man," replied Ed, in a sarcastic way that indicated that he didn't care for the compliment. "I hear you might be able to get us the information we need to, let's say, travel where we need to travel."

"I may, I may not," said Dumbledore, his previously twinkling eyes now more resolute and his tone more business-like. "But if the information is anywhere in the magical world it will be in the library of Hogwarts."

"Well then, may we have access to the library for research purposes, Albus?" said Hoenheim, injecting before Edward had a chance for a rude retort.

"I would be happy to allow it, but there is a little problem," said Dumbledore.

"And what's that?" said Hoenheim, one eyebrow raised.

"Well, you see my powers as Headmaster are somewhat limited, and in order to allow someone who is neither in the employ of Hogwarts nor attending access to the library, I would need the assent of a majority of the staff members. In order to attain that assent, I would most likely have to provide them with information about you and why you are making the request."

"Basically, it's impossible unless we want a bunch of nosy wizards to be in on our secrets," said Edward.

"Edward, that's enough of that," said Hoenheim, exasperated. "Besides," he added "that is not what he said."

"I take no offense Hoenheim, it's understandable that young Edward would be impatient under the circumstances," said Dumbledore. "However, you are correct that Edward's summation of my remarks is wrong. It is far from impossible for you to keep your secrets and have unfettered access to the library; we will simply have to be clever about the matter."

Hoenheim laughed knowingly.

"What sort of exchange or deal do you have in mind, Albus?"

"Well, I do not know if I would call it a deal, but an exchange it most certainly is," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling once more. "You see the Ministry of Magic has taken the liberty of forcing a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor upon me, as I was having difficulty finding one and they would rather like to ensure that the children are not encouraged to suspect the return of the Dark Lord."

"Yes, I have read their denial of the Potter boy's assertions in the papers, although I was unaware that they were this intent on perpetuating ignorance," said Hoenheim.

"That's fine and dandy old man, but can you get to the point?" said Edward.

"Yes, certainly, I just want to make sure you both understand why I am making my offer," said Dumbledore. "But, as I was saying, I am convinced of the truth of Harry Potter's words and would rather like to see my students capable of defending themselves, even if it must be in an unorthodox manner."

"Albus, I know where you're going with this," interjected Hoenheim. "But you can forget it; I am far from an expert on Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Oh no, my friend, I would expect you to teach Alchemy. The Ministry has spoken on the matter of the Defense Professor, and much as I would like to, save supplement my students' learning."

"Well, besides, I'm uncertain if that would suit my purposes. After all, how much time would I have available for research if I were instructing hundreds in the science of alchemy?"

"I figured that that might be an issue, and well understand that you would want to devote as much time as practicable to your research. To that end, I am prepared to restrict your course to Fifth Years and above, which would restrict your classroom commitments to three days per week."

"I should have guessed you would have thought of that," Hoenheim said with a slight chuckle. "Still, you are deliberately understating the amount of time teaching the students would take. There is the matter of the decided lack of scientific knowledge most witches and wizards possess, which will mean a lot of time spent discussing the most basic matters, such as the periodic table, the scientific method, and so on. But I suppose no matter how much I might desire not to accept, I don't have much of a choice – your library is our best hope for return. There is the problem of Edward, however. I will not accept unless he too can have access to the library."

"Well, how old is Edward here?" asked Dumbledore.

"I'm seventeen, old man," said Edward, curtly.

Dumbledore's eyes briefly widened.

"Oh, well I wouldn't have guessed, but that does work perfectly."

Edward glared at Dumbledore.

"What do you mean by that!" he said ruefully, and loudly.

"Oh nothing, I swear; but as I said it will work perfectly," said Dumbledore, with only the slightest hint of alarm. "After all, Hogwarts admits students between the ages of eleven and seventeen."

"Albus, I don't think…" said Hoenheim before being interrupted by Edward.

"Now hold on old man. I haven't attended school since I was six and, frankly, I'm pretty damn good at your 'magic.' What makes you think that being a student at your school would be anything other than annoying to me?"

"Well, Edward, I don't doubt your abilities, but people are bound to ask questions if you are randomly hanging around the library, and I would imagine being a student, who is not obligated to be vigorous in his studies, would be preferable to being a staff member, who would have certain obligations of excellence. And besides, Hoenheim would be empowered, as a Professor, to give you access to the restricted section of the library."

"Albus, as I was saying, I don't think that will work out," said Hoenheim with a small degree of resignation.

"No, I'll do it," said Edward. "Like you said earlier Hoenheim, what choice do we have if we want the information we're after?"

Hoenheim nearly fell off his chair; while Dumbledore simply smiled, his eyes twinkling brightly once more.

"I am pleased we could come to an understanding, and I do hope our exchange will prove, as you alchemists say, equivalent."

Dumbledore rose from his seat and began to make for the exit. Hoenheim intercepted him and offered a friendly handshake goodbye before returning to the table and Edward.

"We're in for an unusual experience, Edward – you're actually going to be expected to act your age at Hogwarts," said Hoenheim with a chuckle.

"Ah fuck it, like I said, we don't have a choice," said Edward contemptuously. "The thing is going to be annoying, though, with all the magic I'm going to have to learn."

"You think you have it bad, I have never so much as taught a child to ride a bike, and here I will have to instruct dozens in a science they have not the slightest inkling of an understanding of."

"Don't remind me how lacking a father you were; but yeah, I hear you. This is just stupid. Who would have thought our best hope would be so damned annoying."

xXx

Author's Note: First, the description of the Leaky Cauldron is something I made up, as I didn't want to go back and read the Harry Potter books just to find a description of the place; regardless, I hope it was satisfactory. Second, to all the people who fav'd (goth lolita and drkphoenyx), thanks. :) I wouldn't mind a review or two, though. Finally, I'd like to know if this thing is perceived by other people as remotely engaging or interesting. The next chapter will be coming quite a bit more quickly than this one, so stay tuned.