Wow…I didn't ever see myself getting as many views as I had with the last chapter. Thank you guys so much. You make me so happy you have no idea. ~(^u^~) OKAY! Now that the mushy stuff is over I have something I must tell everyone reading; I…suck at keeping up with things. XD I'm going to have to improv most of this story because I don't remember exactly what goes on in the show. But I digress, I am very sure that someone, somewhere, will tell me I'm wrong and I'll refer them to my bio where it obviously states; MY STORY MY RULES. But I really hope you all will help me for I am new with this Fanfiction concept.
ON WITH THE STORY BECAUSE I KNOW IT IS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR! :D
(Updated 21/12/18 because I wanted to do something Rush-like XD)
Chapter Two: Escape to Reality
"Dipper! Oh. My. Glib glob! What the heck happened to you?" My twin shouted out very loudly. She had to with that annoying music in the background. I could only rub the back of my head uncomfortably and look away in annoyance. The courtroom we were in was very stuffy. What was with the cat tree behind the bench?
"This is the product of me giving into temptation in this godawful trap you want to call home." I replied like the asshole I know I am.
"Dude, you just need to chill out. Everything works out well in Mabeland!" Dippyfresh promptly raised his hand in the universal symbol for a high-five.
"If you don't drop that hand, dude, it'll find a nice home straight up your ass," I covered my mouth with my hand as Dippyfresh dropped his in shock. "Um…what did I just say?"
"Dude, Dipper. Where did that come from? That was beautiful! " Wendy laughed quietly to herself. Her cute little snort made me smile at her. Damn the power she has over me. If she ever knew I really hope she wouldn't ever use me…aw who am I kidding? I'd love that.
"I still can't believe we are taking this to a court." I said in exasperation.
"Hey, I didn't make the rules." Mabel said…despite the fact the tapestry behind me said otherwise. I was about to point out such a fact when-
"DIPPER PINES!" A deep voice startled me back to this false reality. It was then I noticed a giant, cross-eyed, cat with a rubber mallet sitting at the bench with a powdered wig upon his head. Why is this guy the judge- shit that's right…Mabel, "You have been accused of breaking the one rule of Mabeland; mentioning reality. If guilty, you shall be banished from the bubble forever and replaced with the town's favorite, Dippyfresh! How do you plea?" He pointed his ridiculous mallet at me.
"I said the word reality. I didn't specifically mention it and neither was I told that the one rule of Mabeland was to not-!" He interrupted me with a hiss.
"So you admit to the crime?"
"Well yeah, but-"
"Then you are guilty, Dipper Pines. And you will be sentenced to…banishment…back to the wretched world of reality!" Well isn't that super helpful?
"Oh…can I bring everyone else with me?" I tried to smile but it came out as awkward.
"Not unless they wanted to. And who would want to go back to reality? The real world is full of evil!" The cat pounded the squeaking hammer against his desk. I could only smile in almost assured victory. I can easily work with that.
"Here's the thing about being in reality; for every action there is an equal to opposite reaction. For every bad act there is a good. Mabel! When you had a bad hair day at school, what did I do to help you?" I asked with certainty. I never realized I'd remember something as small as that but I had more. So many nostalgic memories came flooding into my brain, from the times that we were bullied to the Valentine's fiasco to the dreaded summer we have been having.
"You shaved your head to match me…I didn't even think you remembered that." Mabel smiled, her eyes were glistening.
"And Valentine's day! You had gotten so many love letters and stickers that it was gushing out of your little paper bag! Do you remember when I went to hide in the janitor's closet because I was bullied for not getting any? What did you do?" I asked her with a small smile. I winked at Wendy to show her I knew what I was doing. She smirked back and crossed her arms. Jesus…she's distracting me again with her-
"I made you a valentine's card using all of the love letters I had gotten from the cute boys at school. You still owe me for that by the way." She crossed her arms but smiled nonetheless. This is good. Doing great…so far...
"And the last thing I could bring up about reality is…during this whole summer…from the beginning, learning that your boyfriend from the first week was just a bunch of gnomes, to somehow being trapped in a world that is of all your desires…who has always had your back?" She was nearly in tears at this. Is it almost over? I want to get out of here now.
"We have had each other's backs bro-bro."
"I remember everything you and I do Mabel. We're twins! How could I not? You have had my back and have even solved some mysteries with your wonderful and imaginative way of thinking. I love you more than you will ever know sis. Awkward-sibling-hug…?" I ask her. All the animals and…were those other Mabels shoving pug-shaped ice cream into their faces…? Anyway, they all looked on in shock and awe at what I had to say. Mabel thought about it for a good long time…I've never seen her think for so long about anything before. I almost gave up on it, expecting her to turn her back on me like she did earlier when…
"Awkward-sibling-hug." She came over and hugged my waist and I leaned down to hug her…this time it was actually weird. Twice we patted each other on the back.
All hell broke loose.
Judge Meow-Meow Kitty Face Schwartstein's visage just kind of…got sucked into his skull. And his skull is made of-
"Are those fucking cockroaches?!" I reel back in horror as everything and person (aside from the two "dream-boat" guys) turned into hideous, disgusting creatures that I, hopefully, could never dream up. The squeaky gavel falls from the nightmare judge's grip as he points at all of us.
"YOU WILL REGRET THIS DIPPER PINES!" He screamed at us all in a voice I will remember in my nightmares for the rest of my life as the bugs came alive and started to chase us. Dippyfresh exploded in an amalgamation of centipedes and beetles and all other assortment of poisonous and deadly bugs that made my skin (for lack of a better term) crawl.
"Let's get the fuck outta hear!" I grab my sister and Wendy's hands and start to drag them out of there as fast as my new legs could take me. Am I going to start working out in the future because damn…I like being this tough! All I'll need now is a whip, a satchel, and a hat to-
"Dipper, slow down!" Mabel panted. How far was I running?
"Yeah Dip, not many of us can run like you anymore." Wendy pulled me to a stop to catch her breath as well and I couldn't help the grin on my face. Her disheveled appearance was wonderful. She must have noticed…she winked at me!
Awesome.
"Well I dunno 'bout you gals…but I don't want us to die. Now…where's Soos?"
"Speak of the devil and he shall appear, eh dudes? Whoa, Dipper. When did you get taller than me? Cool dude."
"Not now Soos. We need to escape. If we get out I will personally treat you to pizza after the…Apocalypse? It's too weird to just be that…like a weird Armageddon. Weirdmageddon?" I like it. Apparently I was a loner in a past life…or the future? Maybe. I like talking to myself.
I'm very interesting to talk to.
"What about Waddles?" Mabel suggested.
"Hey yeah…isn't he the town bus or something?" Wendy chimes in. I whistle as loudly as possible, making Wendy and Mabel cringe.
"How about a warning next time, Dip-stick?" Wendy rubbed the inside of her ears.
"I have no idea where that came from either, Wen," I shrug but stumble at a rumble from the ground. "What the hell was that?"
"Is that…?"
"WADDLES!" Mabel screams and hops upon the gigantic pig's snout.
"Damn…he's not that much bigger than me." I pet his side slowly in nostalgia. Like…I hadn't seen him in forever…but I know it's only been at LEAST an hour.
"Are you ready Waddles? We could be running into some serious shit." Mabel slaps me on my head for cursing in front of the pig while Wendy laughs it away and I scratch the back of my head in embarrassment. Waddles just nodded and winked at me. Weird pig.
"Then let's head out already! I wanna go home." I hop on Waddles, pat his head twice, and haul ass back to where we first came from. Along the way I grab what looks like a giant, broken, candy cane with a sharp tip and smirked almost evilly before clibing to the top of Waddles' snout.
"Dipper…not that I mind the wicked smile but…what's going through your brain?" Mabel asked immediately concerned. Being the cryptic asshole I am, I winked at her.
"You'll see," I sang ominously. We near the edge of Mabeland and I get ready on my little pedestal and position my makeshift spear. "Time to GO HOME!" I yell with a mighty "GAWP" as I pierce the veil of nonreality.
We were home.
Or at least…what was left of it.
