I HAVE RETURNED! yes I'm back and slighty flammable! Now many (like 2 authors) have asked some good questions. 1.Who's in the Harem? Answer: difficult to say, though whats probably going to happen is a massive free for all at some point towards the end were pretty much all the kunoichi (SP?) will try to win him through dates and romance, excluding the really creepy pairings (like Tsunade-Naruto, raunchy!), you guys can vote for it if you want. 2. how can the girls fall for naruto when he's nothing but a torso? Answer: That is a really good question, that will be a surprise for later but it's not gonna be something stupid like running into a wizard that re-grants him those oh-so necassary parts.

any who this chapter will hopefully be slightly better than the last one, possibly funnier and will start with some of those god-forsaken flashbacks, and finally some way you can actually tell that I've ended one part with another.

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The school was a-buzz ,every student intent on passing the final genin exam. There would be those who passed and those who failed, and all were hopeing for the latter.

Uchiha Sasuke, the classes rookie of the year and all around pretty boy was intent on passing, no matter what the cost, if it ment he was one step closer to killing his brother.

Haruno Sakura, the classes smartest student, was in full thought she would pass with flying colours (I'm Canadian, eh), if only to impress her precious Sasuke-kun, and win his heart.

Yeah, right.

Hinata Hyuuga, by all intents, was absolutely terrified at the thought of failing. I mean you'd be to if you had a father like hers breathing down your neck, constantly berating you for your tiniest flaws.

And then there was Uzumaki Naruto, the class dead last and all around silent creep. He wore the oddest clothing that you could possibly imagine! Really, who walks around wearing a dark gray poncho like clothe that was tatters at the bottom. If that wasn't weird enough, he wore goggles that completely hid his eyes and a mask that was (probably) completely un-necassary!

Those were the thoughts of Sakura as she scanned the class and centred on him and Sasuke.

She didn't know much about him, other than the above things, and that he was quite the enigma. Contrary to popular belief, no one knew what he looked like, and all didn't want to know. After all, a creepy attitude aspires a creepy face, right? one day, 4 years ago (he was 8 then, so now that he's 12) he replaced a student that had been killed in a small excertion, and since then he'd always been there, being his creepy self, mask and all.

Meanwhile, while Sakura mused on how ugly and horrible his face could possibly be, Naruto was thinking of how he had come this far, from the "accident" (the accident being him getting caught, or the day the guy who started the cult was born), to right now.

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Naruto stared dumbly at the Sandaime by his beside, as though the man had grown a second head and had started singing a song about beef.

Why you ask? Because the man was explaining why the boy had been kidnapped.

It all made sense now, the whispers and looks the villagers gave him, the reason the cultists chose him for there twisted reasons, heck, even why he was still alive and hooked up to wooden body parts!

All because he was born on the day of the Kyuubi attack.

"...the kyuubi couldn't be killed, only sealed. Why you were chosen to bear this burden I'll never know."

The old hokage finished in a hused tone, looking at the boy for any sign of understanding from the child.

At first there was nothing but numb shock on his face, before suddenly the boy gave an exaggerated sigh and stared at the hokage.

"So thats why eh? Well that explains alot." Naruto said in a light tone, before laughing in a hollow voice.

That surprised, and slightly scared the old man, as the way the boy spoke of it was like a light joke!

"Naruto, are you alright?"he spoke cautiously.

"Hai, just a little shaken up is all, what with learning there's a demon inside my half-a-stomach, and all that."

Well that wasn't a good sign, never the less "Naruto, Chiyo here-" he pointed to the short of woman beside him "-will be teaching you how to use your body, though in the mean time I want you to rest."

With that, the man left, leaving Naruto to himself, slowly dozing off due to the exaustion that was setting in.

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Much later, Naruto realized, training sucked.

At first it was great, re-learning how to move with chakra strings was a piece of cake, if a little difficult at first. All he had to do was let chakra flow to a tenketsu and then let it drip out like syrup or honey. Then all he had to do was connect it to the limb and he could move! and example is like how he moved his hands. With stamina out the ying-yang, all he had to do was pick a tenketsu from his shoulder and slowly let the chakra run down his arm until it reached his hand and then open another artificail one in his hand. When he wanted to close his hand,or raise his arm, just draw the chakra back in and the hand moves!

Then things got harder, like operating his whole body, which as it turned out included a second pair of arms that Chiyo had added during the operation. Imagine taking chakra strings, and having to do the process above for every limb in you body!

Ya, real pain in the ass.

Then she wanted him to learn how to use his other little abilities. Something else added (much to the Sandaimes dis-pleasure) during the operation were weapons that fit in his limbs and torso. Blades, poison gas bombs, and several other nasty tools were already pre-packaged in him, just waiting to be used.

And man oh man were they ever hard to use. The first time he tried to use a simple switch blade in toe of his "foot", he had accidently set of a half a dozen sickle like ribs to shoot out of his chest, and a poison smoke bomb to go off.

Thank kami he'd been wearing a mask! The stuff almost killed his teacher, who only survived because over the years of pupeet making had built up a tolerence to the stuff. The antidote she had helped a lot too.

Once he had gotten a basic idea on how to use these "gifts", Chiyo began to test him, and drill a fighting style into his head, until he was able to move his strings at a subconcious (not think about) level. Chiyo even went as far as to give him the standard pupeet attire, that being a gray, tattered poncho and goggles to hide his eyes. She said that a shinobi's second best weapon was intimidation and the goggles helped.

It was during these training sessions that both the hokage and retired suna-nin noticed his strange silence that had descended upon the unfortunate child. He'd also been distancing himself from any and all human contact, to the point were it was starting to alarm both elder ninja.

So, like any other worried human, they sought an answer to the boys aversions.

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Naruto was a little apprehensive, concerning the fact he was in the ninja academy again.

This place didn't seem that sunny and happy anymore, what with this being the last place he had been before he was taken.

It brought back some bad memories. To his left the Sandaime followed closely, while informing him that he'd been moved to a new class so no one would recognize him and get suspicious. Naruto relaxed considerably at this, what with his fear he'd be recognized and would have to reveal what had happened to him.

They soon came to a simple wooden door and entered, revealing a chuunin with a scar on his nose and a pinnapple haircut.

"Hello, I'm Iruka and welcome to our class."

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Since then things had settled down, though few interacted with him, and only when they had to.

He prefered it that way, especially considering how different he was from them. I mean who wants to hang out with a human doll?

Through some miracle he had managed to keep that little detail hidden from the world, well his class anyways. He had no idea how, but he had somehow.

So there he sat, alone in his thoughts when Iruka's voice rang out through the class "Let the testing begin!" and with that it started.

One student after another was called up and taken to the back room. Eventually it was our favourite blonde's turn, so without further ado he stood up and walked through the door

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For all the hype, the test had been pretty lame. Three bunshin's! Easy even for him! Chakra strings were way harder than clones and he made those daily!

With this thought in mind, Naruto left Iruka and the second teacher, rai-something. Odd that Mizuki wasn't there, probably did something stupid, and got arrested again, though Naruto never trusted him.

So now he headed home, if you could call an old abandond apartment a home. He decided that he'd oil some of his joints and prepare for his Jounin sensei tomorrow, so he took his arm, clicked the correct part and it came off.

With his other he began to oil and smooth it, and pondered about his sensei and possible team mates. Would he like them, or possibly hate them? Was his sensei cool and awesome or some lazy bum? So many if's!

Once he had finished oiling himself, he prepared for bed, preparing being lying on a bed, cutting off his chakra and hopeing that his dreams weren't racked with nightmares of blood and screams.

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The next day, the students who passed were in the same spots, excluding a missing-

"OUTTA MY WAY INO PIG!!" -was missing Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino.

Soon both kunoichi were wrestling between each other to see who would sit by one Uchiha Sasuke.

Suddenly Iruka's voice broke through the harpie's match "All right, here are the teams: Team 1:.." This continued for a period of time before Naruto's ears perked at "Team 7: Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke and-"

His speech was broken by the extatic squeal of on Sakura who began to do a small dance on her desk while exclaiming at the top of her voive that true love would always win. Naruto felt a little sorry for what ever poor sap got picked for that god-forsaken-

"-Uzumaki Naruto."

-team. Oh goodie. Sakura's dance stopped abruptantly and she gave an almost terrified stare down to Naruto, before she promptly sat down and began to mumble about how life was unfair. She almost missed the "Jounin sensei: Hatake Kakashi..." part.

Soon all the teams were picked and had left with there teacher, all except team 7. Eventually out of pure boredom, Naruto had taken a brush and wedged it into the sliding door. Niether of the other two commented of his actions.

Almost as soon as Naruto sat down, a man wearing a standard jounin outfit with a dark blue mask walked in, appearing as though he had just woken with almost silver lopsided hait that screamed "LAZY!" and his konoha hiate (SP?) lopside to cover only one of his eyes. Infront of his mask was a book titled "Icha Icha: Paradise." secured by his hand.

He spoke in a laid-back tone "My first impressions are-"

He was interupted by the chalk eraser that fell on his head, but it didn't stop there. An explosive tag went off, hidden due to the angle it was placed. It wasn't any exsplosive tag either as when it went off, instead of taking Kakashi's head off, multi-coloured confetty flew every where, most going into the Copy-nin's hair.

"-I hate all of you." he spoke in an erily happy tone. Not a good sign.

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That be it, man that took like 4 hours for me to write! I hope I cleared up any problems you guys might be having, and the harem won't be heating up at least until after the wave country arc.

For those that can't tell, Naruto looks alot like Karasu, Kunkouro's (SP?) pupeet, except with Blonde hair and a mask and goggles. Why, because he looks real kickass in my books. More on Naruto's little gadgets later, and who know's, I may even give Naruto his own miny pupeet too!

In the mean time, Chow: ) The magnificent it.