A/N: You knew it had to happen. I'm posting a second chapter. Yay. Although, not many peeps seem to be taking me up on my cameo appearance offer… Three comments = a cameo appearance. Anyways… This seemed a lot funnier last night, but I guess that was the sleep deprivation kicking in. I have decided why you should be reading this--wait you are reading this… nevermind. Oh, and do look for product promotions throughout the story. There's two in this chapter. Responses:
Orange of Doom: well, we sort of figured that we would be fair for once. So we have to review three times, too, even though we are us and us are we. And we're going we're going. Sheesh, we don't have to shove…
Aqua Phoenix1: i'm so glad you like it! it kinda started off slow cuz I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do… hope you like this chappie!
TheManWithTheGoldenGun: it's that funny? yay! *proud* glad you like! *dances*
alocin: oh, everybody likes everybody else's lines or hates their own, so… there will be line stuff. (i've got a great running gag planned out with smith and lines)
Anonymous: yay! i'm so glad you like this one! i try, so… here's another (hopefully funny) chapter!

And so, more hilarity ensued, all thanks to the Wachowski brothers, who made the Matrix up. (and for nit picky lawyer sharks, i make no claim on this)

Scene Two

Searching...

[Veggie Tales music plays ridiculously loud through a pair of supposedly soundproof panasonic headphones. somehow, the man wearing them is asleep, even as his computer 'Rin' faithfully searches for Morpheus in hundreds of newspapers worldwide. Cut to overhead shot: man is asleep at his computer, surrounded by wires, disks, external drives, computer parts, and a wavy keyboard. the room is lit by the monitor and a solitary overhead light. Cut to screen: screen has gone black, green type appears.]

Text: Wake up, Neo...

[Neo (man) wakes up, slightly confused. he realizes where he is, and then realizes that his monitor is acting funny. he reads the text. he sits up, even more confused. he pulls out a Power bar and begins chewing on it.]

Text [slowly, as if hunt-and-peck typing]: The

Neo [through mouthful of power bar]: What? [pulls off headphones]

Text [somewhat faster]: The Matrix has you...

Neo: Mmph.. Vot a vell? [a/n: for those of you who eat properly: what the hell?]

[Neo looks around his room, and then attempts to "delete object" by hitting ctrl+x]

Text: Follow the white rabbit.

Neo [swallows mouthful of more power bar; is confused]: "Follow the white rabbit." Follow the white rabbit? Rabbit? What? But I'm allergic to rabbits... Who is this? Go away! [hits Esc repeatedly and frantically] Go away you! Demon thing! Stop messing with my mind!

Text [flashes]: Knock, knock, Neo...

[There is a harsh, short rapping on the door. Neo jumps.]

Neo [slightly freaked out]: W-who is it?

Voice: It's Choi.

[Screen is now blank.]

Neo [takes a deep breath and grabs his bottle of Powerade as he goes to the door]: (to self) Yeah... yeah.

[Cut to scene: door, rm 101. door is opened by Neo]

Neo: You're two hours late. Again.

Choi [nodding]: I know. It's her fault. Again.

(Dujour: [slutty pose #1])

Neo: You got the money?

Choi [sighs]: Two grand. [pulls money out of pocket reluctantly] (to self/money) It's for a good cause. You'll be okay. [Dujour watches money hungrily]

Dujour: Oh, can i have a dollar? Just one?

Choi: No, I already gave you a nickel.

[Dujour pouts. Neo takes money.]

Neo: Hold on. [closes door]

[Cut to scene: inside Neo's apartment. talk about you interior design impaired. seriously, neo's room totally screams 'I need a make-over'. there is no decorating anywhere. not a splotch of colour. it's all wires and dirty clothes, and lamps, and clutter. neo, honey, may i suggest applying for 'queer eye'? you're room definitely needs it.]

[Anyways, neo pulls out a book titled "Is Man a Myth?". he flips through several pages.]

Neo: No... that's not it. [pulls out another book, this time entitled "Practical Flight". Again, he flips through several pages before setting it down.] No... that's not it either. [pulls out a third book titled "Simularca & Simulation". he flips through several pages and comes to a gaping hole in the pages] AHA! Here you are! [he sets the money down on the left side and picks through several minidisks on the opposite. he snaps the book shut and turns back to the door.]

[cut to door. opens. neo hands the disk to Choi]

Choi [laughing]: Hallelujah, praise the Lord! You're my saviour man. my own personal Jesus Christ. Now if only you could save me from the authorites... [hands disk to minion]

Neo [nervously]: You get caught using that--

Choi: Yeah, I know. We've only done this like a thousand times before. Aw, geez. I said the Jesus bit, isn't that enough foreshadowing for all the idiots out there? Does this not scream: "Dundundunnnn!" Why do I even have to say these lines? They're dead give aways...

Larry: SAY THEM!

Choi: You don't exist. You live in a fake world full of fake pe--

Andy: Say them RIGHT.

Choi: Fine, dammit. You don't exist. None of this ever happened.

Neo [angsty-depressed look]: Right. [looks at feet and looks up again]

Choi: Somethin' wrong, man? You like kinda pallid.

Larry: PALE!

Choi: Right. Pale. You look pale. [Andy glares] -er. PalER than usual. [coughs]

Neo: Rin.. she uh--

Choi [confused]: Rin? Is this a girlfriend?

Neo: My computer.

Choi [shocked]: Dude what the hell!! Who names their computer?!!

Neo: My computer.. it-- You ever have that feeling, when you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?

Choi [like he's talking about divine providence or something]: Mmm.. all the time. It's called mescaline. [deep breath] It's the only way to fly.

[Neo realizes that he's talking to a complete idiot.]

Choi: Hey, man, it just sounds to me like you know--Do I have to say this too? It's giving away the ending.

Andy: It only gives it away if you keep saying it does. Now say the damn lines before we kick you off the set.

Choi: Fine, dammit. Itsoundstomelikeyouknowyouneedtounplugman.

Larry: Speak coherently.

Choi: FINE. It. sounds. to. me. like. you. know. you. need. to. un. plug. man. You know, get some R&R? Hey what do you think Dujour? Should we take him with us?

Dujour [slutty pose #2]: [looks neo up and down] Definitely.

Neo [slightly frightened by the really weird look Dujour is giving him]: I can't. Uh, I have, uh... work! Yeah, work. I have work in the morning. Therefore I can't go with you.

Dujour [super slutty pose]: Come on. It'll be fun. I promise.

Neo [about to blatantly refuse and slam the door but sees the rabbit tatoo]: Yeah. Sure, I'll go. [Neo grabs can of mace before leaving.]

[Cut to scene: club. people are dancing, smoking, drinking, and being overall "inappropriate". although, they do have some nice lighting..]

[Choi and Dujour are talking to people, totally ignoring Neo who is standing in a relatively quiet spot against the wall, away from all of the "scary people" wearing weird combinations of leather, metal, and plastic]

[Neo is staring into space when a PVC-clad woman in a strapless dress walks up to him. She's that woman from the first scene. You remember, the one who drag-raced with Agent Smith? Yeah, if you remember, her name was Trinity.]

Trinity: Hello, Neo.

Neo: How do you know that name?

Trinity: I know a lot about you.

Neo: What the hell? Who ARE you?

Trinity: My name is Trinity.

Neo [as if trying to remember something he knows that he knows but can't seem to recall]: Trinity. [upon realisation] Trinity? The Trinity? That cracked the IRSD base.?

Trinty [downplaying]: That was a long time ago.

Neo: Jesus.

Trinity: What now?

Neo: Oh, I just figured that you were a guy.

Trinity: OMG I'm gonna slaughter the next person who says that!!

Neo [looks frightened]: uh...

Trinity: I mean... Most guys do.

Neo [slowly figures something out]: That was you on my computer! How did you do that? What did you steal? Stalker! Thief!

Trinity: Right now, all I can tell you, is that you're in danger.

Neo: What? What kind of danger? From who?

Trinity: I brought you here to warn you.

Neo: What! Tell me!

Trinity: They're watching you, Neo.

Neo [paranoid]: Who is? Where? What's going on?

Trinity: Please just listen.

Neo [really paranoid]: WHOS WATCHING ME? I HAVE MACE [holds up dinky spray bottle]

Trinity [ignoring him, walks up uncomfortably close]: I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing. I know why you hardly sleep. Why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit at your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that--

Neo: Yeah, I get. What is the Matrix?

Trinity: Can I please get in my good bit of dramatic, cryptic dialogue?

Neo [sheepishly]: Yeah. Sorry.

Trinty: It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did. It's like a splinter in your mind.

Larry: Was that your line?

Trinity: ...

Larry: I didn't think so.

Neo: Right. Okay. What is the Matrix?

Trinity: The answer is out there, Neo.

Neo: And it's looking for me, I know.

Trinity [coldly]: It's looking for you.

Neo: Yeah, I just said that.

Trinity [steps back]: You are really annoying. But you're still kinda cute.

Neo: Cute? Me? ACK!NO!

Trinity: Anyways, the answer is looking for you. And it will find you. If you want it to. [leaves]

Neo: What the hell just happened?

Rave turns into alarm clock, thanks to more nifty special effects.

End Scene Two.