YD: Whee! Just updated RAFA and now starting on the second chapter of this story!
HS: I own nothing and I'm sure you want to read the story. So I will let you. Everything in this story is for my pure amusement. I am not accustomed to humor nor will I ever be. The things said in this story are not all true so please, don't take offense in them. You do, and I'LL SIC MY MONSTERS ON YOU!
YD: And those report-happy people out there, please press the BACK button… NOW!
Smashed
Chapter two, Two Tequila
Yami watched as Marik and Bakura challenged each other to a drinking contest. Whoever could out-drink the other was the best. And the loser had to drink moonshine-spiked tequila.
While the two duked it out, Yami's eyes searched for Joey and Kaiba. They couldn't have gone far… Ah, there they were. The new couple was inconspicuously hidden away. Kaiba had pinned Joey to the wall and was… er… let's leave them alone for now.
He looked away and saw the Lights mingling. Yuugi had abandoned his strawberry daiquiri for a coke. Good ol'-non alcoholic-Coke. Ryou was watching the drinking contest. Malik was sipping a light beer. So Yami was now completely bored.
Best thing to do, get up on stage and make a scene! ...so that's exactly what the baka did.
The deranged, ex-pharaoh strode up to the stage as if he owned the world and started singing… Barney's theme song. The crowd raised and eyebrow but they didn't lob any fruits or boo, no, they started singing ALONG and DANCING! In short, the world had gone crazy.
Yuugi started choking and gagging at the Pharaoh's song. He never liked Barney anyway. Marik and Bakura stopped drinking to look up. Startling, the two started sing along. The three Lights seemed to be the only sane people in the entire club. The world was not crazy, it was INSANE!
Yuugi shivered. He hoped this was just Yami drunk and not Yami on a normal basis. If it was the latter, he was in for a strange life.
After the horrible performance ended, Yami descended the stage amongst many clapping hands. Scary how they all loved him when he had just sung the most childish song in the universe. At least things couldn't get worse…
Bakura was victorious against Marik. So Bakura ordered the other Dark and tall glass of tequila. His smirk was gloating as he watched Marik stare at the glass.
Hesitantly, Marik reached for the glass. His fingers curled around it and he brought it to his lips. Like a man forced to drink poison, Marik downed the alcohol. Instantly, an insane look made itself know in the Dark's eyes. He turned towards Malik who was staring at him. Marik licked his lips and started towards his hikari.
Malik, seeing the look on his other half's face, quickly backed off. Marik followed. Yuugi and Ryou watched with confusion written all over their faces.
"What are you doing?" Malik did not allow fear to penetrate his voice. Marik kept quiet and continued following his Light. All noise died out suddenly.
"I love you."
The voice was a whisper of a promise and Malik barely heard it, even if it was dead quiet around him. Marik had encased them in a sound-proof bubble. No one could get in or out. They were all alone. Instinctively, Malik tensed and waited silently.
"Why don't you trust me, Maliky-chan?"
"I do! It's just that you're under the influence of alcohol and you're acting very different… I'm just being wary."
Marik did not answer. Instead, he pushed his hikari against the wall and began attacking his neck. And from there, Malik melted against his Dark. That led to… stuff… let's leave it at that and get back to the others.
Ahem, Yuugi and Ryou looked away from the dome and focused their attention on Yami and Bakura. Thankfully, they both were acting sanely. At least they retained some shred of their sanity.
"Poor, pathetic, pitiful, Pharaoh!" Bakura scorned the other. Yami raised an eyebrow at Bakura's words.
"Did you know that's alliteration?"
"What's alliteration?"
"When several words in a sentence begin with the same letter,"
"Hmm… Mister murderous Malik makes many mangos mambo. How's that?" Yami raised an eyebrow.
"Real great, Bakura, absolutely perfect," Sarcasm dripped from his voice and Bakura hardly noticed it.
"Hey, where's Marik? And Kaiba? Are they screwing their better halves?" He looked around and paled when he saw the two couples doing stuff… (Not THAT stuff! Just er… ya know, touching… and kissing… WTF, you get the point!) "On second thought, let's let them be." (Wonderful choice!)
"That's something I never thought I'd hear." Yami added thoughtfully. Bakura scoffed and ordered some more beer. Apparently, he could hold his alcohol. …Not that Ryou really cared about this fact anyway.
Meanwhile, Yami sauntered over to the dance floor. This time, it was to dance instead of sing. Yuugi and Ryou didn't EVER want to see Yami perform that horrid song in a public place again. That would spell the end of the world for Yuugi.
Many girls… and some guys… came up to ask Yami to a dance. Damn, if that bishie was on the dance floor alone, anyone would go ask! But to Yuugi's joy, Yami turned down every offer.
Ryou watched as his yami danced with ever person that asked him. Anytime that his dancing partner tried to touch him, though, he moved away and onto a different partner. Pretty soon, Ryou felt the green monster of jealousy rise within him.
He whispered something to Yuugi which made him nod enthusiastically. They stood, and to the amazement to everyone in the club, started dancing… together. And it wasn't your average buddy, buddy dancing, no, they were dancing like lovers. Now, don't freak and think, "OMG Yuugi and Ryou are fucking?" Ew. Gross. I hate that pairing. Don't think that. It's nasty.
As soon as Yami and Bakura saw this, they freaked. No, wait, scratch that. They went ballistic. It was like an intercontinental missile went off in the room. A few yaoi fangirls fainted from the yaoi-ness of the scene. Some yaoi fanboys dropped to the floor too. Not that I know of many but… whatever.
Anyway, Yami and Bakura pulled their Lights away so fast, it was like lightening. Maybe the alcohol was getting to them. Maybe they were just crazy. Maybe they were jealous. Who knows?
Now, let's leave them alone for a second and check on Kaiba and Joey. Oh… I never knew Joey was so… jeez, at least they're alone and no one can hear their moans. I hope this club burns their bed sheets after use.
Ahem, now Marik and Malik, er… you don't wanna know. Especially those kids who are reading this and not supposed to. Let's just say it's a really graphic lemon, which is banned from fanfiction, and leave it at that.
Currently, the two Darks were trying to glare each other to death while their Lights sipped cokes and watched. It was quite interesting really. Both were just sitting their, glaring like there was no tomorrow. Yami's legs were crossed. Yuugi smirked. Bakura didn't realize there was a pretty pink bow in his hair. Ryou was trying to stifle his laughter.
All in all, the glaring contest went on and on. And on. And on. And on. And… (snores)
It was all very dull and boring. So Yuugi and Ryou left them and went up to the stage. Unlike their Darks, the two actually preformed something worth watching. They sung a song called Rumors by someone… I believe it's… Lindsay Lohan.
Even the two bickering Darks looked up to watch their sexy better halves dance and sing. By the time the song ended, Yuugi and Ryou had a lot of people surrounding them. Whether it was asking for autographs or… marriage… or other stuff… they turned all offers down. The two Darks dragged their Lights away from the crowd and protected them from rabid fans.
Kaiba and Marik were still currently… occupied doing stuff. End of story, buh bye.
In order to keep the others off of their hikaris, Yami and Bakura had no choice but to dance with them. Every time someone tried to intervene an evil eye was shot toward them clearly saying, "Back Off." So they were relatively left alone. Unbeknownst to the oblivious Darks, the Lights were planning this every step of the way. This was just way too easy.
After a while, they got tired and sat down to a drink. Shouting steadily got louder. It seemed someone was playing a drinking game. Yami walked over to watch the poor soul get steadily redder and redder. Instead he found a girl drinking a man under without showing any sign of the alcohol getting to her.
She had long dark silver hair and was slightly on the pale side. Her eyes were silver-purple and glinted as she smirked. Her whole aura radiated power… like… a yami. She was thin but not abnormally so.
"My name is Kkwy and I'd appreciate it if you would stop staring at me, Pharaoh."
"Who says I was staring at you?" Yami shot back. He noted that her name meant darkness in Ancient Egyptian.
"Well, you're looking at me." Kkwy retorted sarcastically.
"Yami!" Both Yami and Kkwy turned. Another girl stood there. Yami blinked rapidly. There was another pair of Dark and Light?
This girl looked a lot more cheerful than her Dark. Her hair was… almost white. Her eyes were a glittering purple. But her eyes weren't as dark as Yuugi's or as pale as Malik's.
"I'm Akhu and you must be Pharaoh Atemu, right?"
"Yes, and your name means Light, am I correct?"
"Yes," She looked around. "Where's your hikari?" Yami nodded towards Yuugi who was, once again, dancing on stage. Seconds later, Kkwy sat their smirking as her opponent flopped to the side like a dead fish.
"Looks like you can hold your alcohol," Bakura noted. Kkwy took in Bakura's appearance.
"I can. Are you challenging me to a contest?" Ryou stepped in at that very moment, sparing Bakura from answering. The two regarded each other coolly before Ryou suddenly pulled out a wand and cast Avada Kedavra! DIE!
…fine, be that way… Ryou stuck out his hand for Kkwy to shake. But the other just stared at the hand with an expression of distain upon it.
Meanwhile, Akhu did the stupidest thing possible and went up to the stage and sang the 'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves' song. Needless to say, the crowd hated it after only ten repetitions. To this day, no one knows where they got all those rotten vegetables and fruits.
Akhu came down looking like she just came back from a jump into a vat of junk from the dumpster. Bakura took one look at her disheveled appearance and laughed. Everyone else simply stared at her.
"What's everyone looking at?"
CRASH! Akhu looked down at her friends. Yami's fingers twitched. A few seconds later they all recovered from their anime fall. Yuugi, who had not fallen, watched them all with a large sweatdrop.
Akhu danced around Ryou, very much clean but very hyper. Kkwy dragged her Light away impatiently and ordered some beer for her.
"Alcohol makes people sleepy." Kkwy mouthed.
"I know. Once, on New Years Eve, I drank 5 glasses of champagne and fell asleep on Yami's lap. I kept hearing my heartbeat in my ears and I felt like my face was on fire. It got really uncomfortable."
Yami looked away guiltily. He was the one who had allowed Yuugi to drink so much. But then again… he hadn't complained much when fell asleep on him.
All the same, Yami averted his eyes. Yuugi caught sight of his shame and smiled softly. His Dark was so cute when he was worried… Yami's eyes widened as he felt his other's feelings filter through their link. He looked at his partner in disbelief.
"You think I'm cute?"
"Perhaps,"
"I resent being called cute." Yuugi laughed.
"You're still so cute." Yami pouted, furthering Yuugi's impression of Yami being cute.
"You may think I'm cute but you are far cuter." Without delay, Yami swept his hikari off his feet and twirled him around.
Bakura watched the scene unfold with an expression of distaste. Ryou noticed it and sighed unhappily. His Darker half was so stupid sometimes.
Akhu came back, still very much hyper. Maybe she could hold her alcohol just as well as her yami. Kkwy stumbled after her, trying to prevent her from doing something stupid.
"Make it stop!"
The stupidity will never end… or will it?
To Be Continued
YD: Sorry for the late update. I was trying to make it really funny.
HS: Review please!
