Notes: Another AU 1989 entry, sequel to "Proxy".
My Parentwise isn't that hot a father figure. Not at first.
Recommended OST: "With Or Without You" by U2.
"Trial And Error"
K
It halted just before the tunnel exit, frowned, and fitfully finger-combed his form's hair back into its usual, upswept shape. Goodness knew he only did so out of a need to distract himself from the inevitable. And it wasn't the first time in the past month he had found a need to procrastinate upon returning home.
Existence.
That was a far easier goal to keep hold of when it was just him he had to worry about.
The readied apology died on his lips the moment Bevs scampered across the cistern.
Bevs, not to be confused with Beverly Marsh.
She left that identity on the surface, along with the rest of her unwanted, miserable life, the day she threw herself at this creature's mercy.
She embraced one of his legs in a hug, heedless of her caretaker's suspiciously-empty hands, and how one of them reluctantly lifted to pat the crown of her head in silent reply.
As she wasn't looking, he indulged in a pained grimace. There was nothing else to do. All he could do was stand in dreadful, useless muteness before she stopped fussing and started begging.
He beat her to it, eyes closing so as to not see the look of disappointment dawn on her face.
Again.
"Not... not todaY."
"No?"
"No..."
Slowly, her fingers unhooked from the material of his suit. Intact, unlike the tattering remains of her former knee-length dress. He kept his eyes closed and strode on, toward the base of the tower.
For he knew that path without eyes to even appreciate it.
Beverly Marsh wasn't a child of many words to begin with. If anything, in the time spent with It, her grasp of speech had regressed. Rapidly.
Hence, Bevs.
Simple words and phrases seemed the best method they could communicate with now.
Besides the sheer sensing of emotions.
But that was something only It could appreciate.
The resulting conversations were hopelessly one-sided.
Undaunted, he heard the scuffling of hands and bare feet as he ascended the ramp, back into the confines of the wagon. Their den wasn't exactly a necessary space for him, but at the moment, he could think of no better place to be to muse on the consequences of his shortcomings.
The interior had already been fashioned into a makeshift nest of old blankets, moth-eaten clothes, and random playthings. Unceremoniously, the would-be hunter batted a broken-down music box out of his way, flopping down to stretch out in the space it left behind. The platform gave a little lurch under the impact of his weight, but Pennywise paid it no mind.
Heaving a dejected breath, he folded his arms below his jaw and shut his eyes.
Sulking was in session.
Or... it would have been.
Had Bevs not seen fit to interrupt.
Crawling up beside him, she hesitated for only a heartbeat before pouncing on his back, hands searching. As if he were hiding some forgotten scrap of food on his very person.
Lying still, Pennywise's eyes reopened to slits, irises brightening to an almost-yellow shade-of-clear-blue as he felt his hair being mussed, pawed out of arrangement. He thought twice of growling in discontent, considering his failure and that it had brought this situation about.
Again.
How many times is that, now?
Four?
And you still haven't gotten it?
You're billions of years old. Humans haven't even made a period's-worth of historic impact on this planet yet.
And you can't figure out what she needs to survive?
If only love alone were enough to sate one's corporeal hunger.
To her credit, his Bevs didn't whine. She only made her displeasure known in her longfaced expressions, or restless motions, as she was doing now. A remnant of her past life. Whining had once meant getting a rough cuff upside the head for daring to mouth off.
On that front, the clown could learn and even appreciate a thing or two. His own penchant for whining only stemmed from this form's flair for exaggeration, after all. You had to be as extravagant in how you conveyed approval as disapproval.
And, more and more, this form was feeling less practical. Bevs enjoyed the look, associated it with affection and protection, but that was about it.
He had been reluctant to assume the shape of Bob Gray. Not only because he anticipated the worst reaction on Bevs' part, but because of the temptation thereof.
To linger in one form too long was to potentially-condemn yourself to its limits. Risking a split with his base energies, however temporary or long-lasting it may have been, he couldn't take that chance. He wouldn't, not with her well-being at stake.
It had no more interest in staying permanently human than he had in becoming a herbivore.
Even if his charge could survive on that, on what meager selections of lichens and fungi there were to be found in the surrounding forests.
It wouldn't work forever.
She would need real protein at some point.
Raw animals.
She couldn't handle that.
Well, she could.
But if it meant her vomiting up half of every meal, growing sicker and sicker, no matter how many healing balms he applied-
No.
There had to be a better way.
What to do, what to do...
Bevs was still pawing at his hair.
And after a time, it did start to grate his nerves the wrong way.
With a sigh that was half a growl, he wrenched his head around.
"WhaT are you- "
He cut himself off, sucking in a tight breath.
Her expression stopped him cold.
For she wasn't frowning.
She was... smiling?
Really?
He leaned closer, peering nearsightedly at her in the weak light.
Inadvertently, his curiosity was rewarded.
Still leaning on his billowy shoulder, Bevs giggled and threw her arms around the back of his neck. Her face lay sideways atop the curve of his skull.
"Next time, you'll get it."
And with bizarrely funny-unfunny timing, her stomach gave a very audible growl.
Caught between the conflicting clash of warm affection and horrid realization, the creature propped himself up on one hand. Bevs gave a little cry of discontent at being jostled. Said cry soon became another contented giggle as he used his free arm to embrace her across the back.
Next time.
Please, please let next time be the time I make good on my promise.
