One…Two…Five...I mean Three!
*incoming horde of plot bunnies explodes*
It never ends…
This time we're taking a little trip to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
*more bunnies appear over the horizon*
Oh for crying out loud…
*pulls out another Holy Hand Grenade*
"Well, this rescue is going spectacularly," the princess grumbled.
"In our defense, we didn't even know you were aboard until we'd stolen the Stormtrooper disguises," Luke said, peeking around a corner. He immediately ducked back when he saw the docking bay full of troopers. "Okay, we're not going that way…"
Princess Leia huffed. "At least you seem to have some survival instincts. I wish the same could be said of your friend."
Luke scratched his head. "We're not really friends… Anyway, I'm kinda at a loss here. No way we can get to the Falcon with all those Stormtroopers blocking the way."
"What we need is a distraction," Leia said.
Luke blinked as the metaphorical glowrod lit up over his head. He scrambled for his comlink.
-x-
"Awed Query: You set them on fire with your boosters? Compliment: Your ability to improvise is astounding. I believe you and I shall get along far better than I did with my previous Master's astromech."
The blue astromech beside him responded with a series of beeps and whistles.
"Affirmation: Indeed. I shall speak with the Master about acquiring supplies. Surely he will be agreeable to seeing you restored to full functionality."
The comlink held in his rust-red fingers beeped.
"Query: Yes, Master? Is there something we can assist you with? Hopeful Query: May I kill something now?"
"Yes."
If droids were capable of blinking, it is likely he would have. Several times. He quickly ran a full diagnostic of his auditory systems.
"Apology: I'm sorry, Master. It appears I misheard you. Query: Did you say - ?"
"Yes. Listen, I've got the princess but there's no way we can get to the ship right now. I need you to wreak as much havoc as you can. Draw as many personal away from the docking bay as possible. I'll com you when everyone has made it on board. Until then…do what you do best, I guess."
-x-
A passing squad of troopers got the shock of their lives when a skeletal, rusty-red droid ripped its way out of a supply closet. Faster than they could react, the droid seized two troopers by their helmets and snapped their necks with a quick twist.
It then yanked the blaster rifles out of the dead troopers' hands and opened fire, downing the rest of the squad in seconds.
"Gleeful Affirmation: As you command, Master!"
Something I thought up after I first played KOTOR. I wasn't writing fanfiction at the time, so it just sat in the back of my mind until now.
As you might have guessed, it's a Star Wars Original Trilogy AU, where C-3PO was destroyed before making it to the escape pod (he actually dies heroically, taking a blaster shot that would have hit R2). With the Jawas, R2 meets a certain snarky, trigger-happy assassin droid. Both of them are purchased by Owen and Luke (HK is perfectly capable of acting like a perfectly polite protocol droid when it suits him after all; he just doesn't like to).
Aside from some snarkiness from HK, things proceed pretty much the same as the Original Trilogy. Until the scene above.
Ben still dies (it was his time sadly). After they escape, HK mentions that – having multiple Jedi as past masters – he could provide Luke with some instruction in the theory and philosophy of Jedi Knights. Of course, being HK, he doesn't want some wet-blanket, pseudo-pacifist for a master. He wants someone more like Revan (heroic badass who's perfectly willing to let HK do his thing), and tries to steer Luke down said path.
Up for adoption if you're interested.
I really liked HK being rendered momentarily speechless by Luke's agreement. I imagine by this point he's gotten used to people telling him "No, HK, don't kill that guy" that he only asks out of habit and expects his master to deny him.
