Like a Clockwork

Piper blinked her eyes open, struggling to get them to focus. The room was dark, or murkyas the light from one of the adjacent rooms was on. Even if she felt drowsy, she sat up, trying hard not to fall down on her sofa again. She must have fallen asleep. The blonde took up her phone and unlocked it. A quarter to ten. It was like her body had developed a timer as to not miss her somewhat regular 10 pm meeting. She had met the other woman five times and yet she only knew her first name; Alex. Every time she was supposed to meet the other woman, she got antsy, like it was the first time doing it. She would argue that it was because of the illegal exchange, but she knew that it was because of a different reason. She wasn't stupid. As long as nothing happened, everything would be fine.

The blonde stood up and adjusted her clothes, desperately looking for a mirror. It was highly likely that her hair was all ruffled up and that was not a good look for the mayor of New York when meeting an associate. There was a knock on the door and for a second, Piper panicked. She froze in her movements and just stared at the door as if it had caught her doing something weird. This wasn't the time to panic. In order for the meeting to look less suspicious she had to compose herself and look as calm as possible. She had at least managed to convince Alex to wear something more business appropriate when she came over, something that had made things a hell of a lot easier. Piper still had a hard time explaining to her guards why the meetings were so late, though.

"Just a minute," she said calmly, her face probably deceiving her. Good thing no one was there to see her. She straightened her posture, combing through her hair as best as she could before picking up her phone again. Ten to ten. The other woman was early and Piper didn't feel remotely ready to face her. It took her a good two minutes before she eventually called out to John. The door opened and he stepped in.

"Your coffee delivery, ma'am," he said curtly. The blonde nodded.

"Send her in." The man left the room. Not five seconds later, Alex entered the room, wearing a black blazer over a white shirt and... Fuck... black leather pants. Not only did she go against their established dress code, she looked fucking amazing doing it. Piper swallowed a thick lump in her throat, not being able to tear her eyes away from the raven haired woman who made sure the door was properly closed.

"You, eh... Those aren't really the kind of... Your pants," the blonde said, cursing herself for not being able to talk properly. She was used to speak in front of crowds of thousands, but Alex made her incapable of forming coherent sentences?

"Eloquent," the raven haired woman said with a slight smirk. "And you did tell me that business casual was okay. This is business casual." Alex was right. Piper smiled tightly, regretting her words. Strictly business would have been way better, but she hadn't considered the possibility of being fucked up by something a bit more casual. She wasn't much for leather usually, is the thing, but the other woman wore it so well. Before making herself look like even more of a fool, she crossed the room, taking out a 100 dollar bill from her pocket. Alex raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything, just opened her suitcase to take out the little bag of pills. The blonde said nothing during the exchange, just went back to the sofa she previously slept on.

"Are you okay? You're awfully quiet today," the raven haired woman asked while making her way to the sofa as well. "I mean, I know it's not my business, but you're acting strange." Piper looked up at the taller woman who looked genuinely concerned, dropping part of her carefully constructed facade. She wet her lips, preparing to speak, but what would she say? She couldn't just spill her secrets to some drug dealer, God knows what could happen. Given her constant bad luck, Alex would run off to the press and spill everything. Come tomorrow, the tabloids would have her name and face all over them. Instead of being honest, which she actually wanted to be, she shrugged and shook her head.

"No, I'm just... I'm just tired." The other woman's eyebrows quirked upwards for a second, as if to tell her that she knew it was a lie, but wouldn't push it further. When she turned around to walk back to her suitcase, Piper reached out and grabbed her wrist. The other woman snatched away her hand, placing her own hand where the blonde's had just been and turned to face her again.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you, I just- Can you maybe... stay?" Piper asked, swallowing thickly before adding a quiet, "Please?" Alex lowered her arms to her sides again, seemingly contemplating. It was a stupid question. Of course she didn't want to stay, Piper was just like any other client. She lowered her eyes and looked down on the pills in her hand. Ever since that first time, she had just cried while high. The drugs was her outlet, her chance to express true emotions, but it would be nice to be around another person instead, to feel something else than just anxiety. Maybe, just maybe, she could actually just relax if Alex stayed with her.

"Okay." It was just a whisper, but it was an answer, an affirmative answer and just the right word. The other woman sat down next to her and Piper instantly felt how her body went completely lax, like her body finally gave up after years of constraint. Even though Alex always had the opposite effect on her, it felt like her mere presence was enough to calm her down a little. She opened the little plastic bag and took one of the pills out, put it in her mouth and swallowed it dry. It usually took about twenty minutes for it to kick in and usually those minutes were spent by sitting on her bed, alone, feeling completely empty. She was glad to have someone beside her this time. They sat in silence for a little while, a comfortable silence. It felt like it to her, at least. The blonde closed her eyes and let herself lean on the other woman, her head resting comfortably on the shoulder. Alex stiffened as soon as their bodies touched, but soon relaxed as well. Piper was the first to break the silence.

"Can you please tell me about something?" she asked lowly, ignoring the surge in her stomach. This was simply a platonic kind of cuddle, nothing more. If anything, she just had a shoulder to lean on, literally. They didn't have any kind of relationship with each other what so ever, so to call it a cuddle was simply inaccurate. The other woman shifted slightly.

"About what?" Another whisper. Piper was really staring to like the calmness of the situation. She just existed and Alex just existed and there was nothing but them. No politics, no obligations, no stress.

"Something. Anything," she answered, already feeling tired. If it was because she was sleeping before Alex came or if it was because of the drugs, Piper didn't know. She highly doubted that it was due to the drugs, though, as it only had been a few minutes. Maybe her body set her up, making her feel some kind of placebo effect before the morphine could kick in properly. Again, a comfortable silence settled between the two. The raven haired woman was probably trying to come up with something to say. Piper probably hadn't given her much inspiration with her answer.

"Imagine sitting on a white beach, the sun is setting and the sound of water hitting the shore fills your eardrums." The blonde hummed contently, seeing vivid images of the scene.

"You're completely relaxed, no worries in the world what so ever. The only thing relevant is the colors that are painting the sky and the warmth from the day's last sun rays. You're safe and everything is exactly how you want it to be, need it to be." A small smile formed on Piper's lips. She could almost feel the sun warming up her face and the careful breeze that so often comes out at night. The blonde hadn't noticed that Alex had silenced until she spoke again.

"It's a little chilly now that the sun has passed the horizon, but the sand between your toes still has some remaining heat. You watch as the radiant colors turn colder and colder and suddenly, the sky is all black. But, as the night grows colder, the stars shine brighter. You can now see the Milky Way above you, all the constellations you memorized as a kid because the night sky was just so fascinating." The raven haired woman spoke softly, fondly, like she herself could see the picture she so beautifully painted with her words. The blonde saw a flash of a small Alex, warmly clad on a winter night with eyes locked on the field of stars above her. She felt her heart swell at the thought. In another life, the two of them could have grown up together, shared their childhood and youth. Maybe she wouldn't be in such a dark place if she'd had a true friend by her side through it all.

"You let your gaze fall to the ground only to discover similar specks of light along the shoreline. The sand is illuminated, much like the firmament above you." There was a slight pause. "It's caused by bioluminescent bacterias in the water."

"Who knew that a bacteria could be so beautiful," Piper whispered, as if afraid to disrupt the tranquility in the otherwise silent room. Alex hummed as an answer. The blonde wondered if the scenery was a memory or if the other woman had just told her some random fact that she had picked up. She also wondered if she would ever see such a beautiful place and truly get to enjoy it. As it seemed for the time being, what with her job and living situation, she was condemned to eternal misery. What she really needed was a long vacation and someone to spend it with. Someone who wasn't her fiance. Piper felt bad for thinking like that. Larry was a good man who truly cared for her, but she couldn't reciprocate his feelings. She had tried for a long time, he deserved as much, but at the end of the day, their relationship was built on lies. He didn't know that, though. Piper had practically been forced into the closet by her adviser, a man who had been a family friend for a long time. She had told him about her sexuality, the first person she ever told, and he had said that the citizens of New York couldn't trust a strong, single woman who on top of it all was a lesbian. It was bad enough that she was a woman, her sexuality would just guarantee a huge drop in votes and she would lose the position. So what she needed was a man, not only to make her fit into the heteronormative frames, but also to make her less of a threat. Women weren't supposed to be strong on their own, they needed a man who could back them up and help them with their duties. Mr. Healy had been very clear about that and had arranged for her to meet Mr. Larry Bloom. That was three years ago. Not only had Mr. Healy hurt her by making her hide her true self, he also hurt her unknowing fiance. Larry believed that she loved him as much as he loved her and the longer she had to fake that, the more harm it would do when the truth was revealed.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Piper sat up and opened her eyes, looking at Alex who seemed confused and maybe a little concerned. Her vision was blurry and she couldn't tell if it was because she had closed eyes for a while or if the morphine was finally getting into her bloodstream. She guessed on the latter when her body suddenly started feeling warm and fuzzy. How long had she been lost in her thoughts? Had Alex continued to talk after her little speech about the bacterias and stars?

"Yeah, no, I'm fine," the blonde answered, forcing her lips into a half smile. It was all she could manage for some reason. She grabbed the raven haired woman's hand and squeezed it tightly, like she was an anchor of sorts. Piper almost felt like she would float away if she let go.

"You're crying," Alex whispered, squeezing her hand right back. The gesture made her smile bigger, but her eyes seemed to react more to the words as her vision got even blurrier. She could tell that it was due to the tears. Usually, she never let anyone see her cry, hadn't done that since she was ten and her mother had done a poor job comforting her when she'd caught her father with another woman, but Alex was an exception. Somehow, the fact that she was a stranger made it a whole lot easier when usually, it would make her hold back even more. The other woman was apparently the right kind of stranger, a stranger who actually seemed to see her as Piper and not Mayor Chapman. Not even her parents saw her as a person with feelings anymore, although, she wasn't certain if they ever did. To them, she was someone to be proud of, someone to boast about to the neighbors. She was a topic more than she was their daughter. Blinking a few times, she cleared her blurred vision, tears making their way down her cheeks.

"I'm not okay," the blonde said despite the big smile on her lips. She gave out a chuckle, squeezing the other woman's hand even tighter. It was a silly reaction, but she couldn't keep herself from letting out more chuckle-sniffle hybrids. She had read somewhere that laughter was the body's response to panic and it didn't seem that far off given that she really couldn't control it. Her whole body was shaking and she swore she felt her rapid heartbeats pulsating in her eardrums. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against Alex's shoulder again, taking a deep breath. As long as she just focused on the other woman and let the drugs cloud her senses, she would be fine. Everything would be fine. At least for an hour or so.

"Tell me something more."

AN: Hello new followers and hello old followers! I hope you're all enjoying this. I enjoyed writing it :) Thank you so much for the favorites and follows, it really means the world to me.

All the love. xx