Still confused, I walk down the stairs behind Jake. What the hell just happened?! We almost kissed! The one thing that I wanted for months just almost happened. Everything feels like I'm deep under Water, everything is so far away.

Like a robot, whit no emotions, I sit down next to Jake on the couch in the living room. Mechanically I start the Tv and choose the next best film that I could found on Netflix. I have no clue what it is about and I don't care to be honest.

The space between me and Jake is so big that probably a third person could take a seat. Neither one of us says a word. The tension is so big that you could cut whit a knife through it.

My head is spinning and my thoughts are all over the place. If Jake would have feelings for me then he probably would have kissed me but when he doesn't have any... to be honest I don't even wanna think about this possibility.

The Door of the front porch opens and Mom and Dad step in. My Dad immediately realizes that something is very wrong. "Hey, Guys." Mom has a smile on her face that turns into confusion and then into blankness real quick.

I show Dad what happened between me and Jake in my thoughts and I can see the sadness in his eyes, but only for seconds before it's despairing. "Hey." Replies Jake that was focused on this stupid movie till now. "Did you had a good day?" Asks Dad and gives me a kiss on the forehand. I nod. "We only wanted to see after you tow." Makes Dad clear and looks a Mom. They both look so happy together. I wished I could have something similar whit Jake but right now I'm more Confused then Happy. "We gonna let you and Jacob alone." Says Dad and walks whit mom in his Hand the Porch. "Bye." Say Jake and me at the same time, before they despair into the forest again.

After the Movie ended, Jake gets up and stretches himself. "Time to go." I look at the Clock in the Kitchen. "Yes," I answer. The first word we Talked to each other in hours.

Jake stays at home on Monday and Wednesday so that he can spend time whit His Family. I wanted me so. Especially after his nephews was born two months ago. She is Rachel and Paul's second child. They already have a son called Alex. To know that Jake and Paul are the same ages but that one of them is already married, has kids and stopped shifting a year ago in order to get old with Rachel. It didn't hit him as hard as I thought it would be. Or not quite yet. Maybe in a couple of years.

A couple of Guys from the old pack also stopped transforming like Sam and Jared.

Jake will have to shift into his Wolf form for the rest of his life because I'm immortal and I can't live whit out him so he will have to stick around for a very long time.

He gives me a kiss on the forehead "See ya." He says and walks out of the house. Shortly afterward I hear him transform and running into the woods.

Now that I'm really alone, tears start filling my eyes and blur everything around me. I start to hyperventilate and sobbing. I want to punch something, someone.

Now that I'm really alone, tears start filling my eyes and blur everything around me. I start to hyperventilate and sobbing. I want to punch something, someone.

I get up and start running towards the cottage. I slam open the door and immediately ran into my mom's arms. "Renesmee what happened between you and Jake." She asks. I'm sure Dad already told her everything but she wants to hear it from me too. "We, we..."I start but I'm still sobbing loudly. "We were in my Room and Jake and me." I'm stuttering and try to breathe normally, through my nose in and out of my mouth. "We almost kissed each other but then he suddenly stopped and walked away as nothing happened and I'm so confused, mom what should I do?" "Calm down, everything will be fine." She strokes my head and looks me in the eyes. Dad walks whit a glass of Water and puts it next to me on the coffee table. "Please tell me what's going on in his mind, I need to know." I'm begging at him. "Sadly my dear I can't. I promised Jacob not to tell you." "Why?" Is asked him, and now tears fill up my eyes again. "He wants to tell you about it himself." "About what?" My heart beats so fast, I can hear it In my ears. "What's going on what everyone, no one is telling me anything these days," I say, confused and frustrated.

I must fall asleep on the couch because I woke up in my old room the next morning. I can already smell the breakfast Mom and Dad are making.

I walk into the Kitchen where mom is already stacking pancakes on a plate. Dad puts the maple syrup next to it. "Morning honey." "Morning." I reply and set down one of the barstools." The pancakes smell amazing. I suddenly remembered that the last time I eat anything was yesterday's lunch. "That's why we made you breakfast." Says Dad. I take a bit. I didn't even realize how hungry I was. "jake was here." says mom and I almost choked on my breakfast. "when?" I asked, "why didn't he wake me up?" "he came around 7 am. Just wanted to see you," informs me, dad." "where is he now?" "Jake told me that he would be in the forest somewhere but will be back before learning begins." mom says. I look at the clock. Now it's 8 am, I meet whit Esme in 30 minutes.

I decided to finish my breakfast and then go back to the main House. I have school in one hour. Technically it's Homeschool because I'm the one student in that class. Sometimes Jake tries to participate but loses his patience shortly afterward because he doesn't get a word about what I'm learning. He just sits there and eats sometimes or reads in old books about Werwolf legends.

I can already feel his presence as I walk up the stairs of the porch. It's like a magnet that pulls me into his direction. His Heart is beating as fast as usual.

Esme is already in the library, preparing everything. "Morning Nessie." She welcomes me and takes me into a hug. "Morning." I repay and smile at her. The Door opens and Jake walks in. We just sta each other for a long second. "Morning Jake." I try to say but my voice is cracking up. "Morning." He replies and sits down on the table. I can feel a sharp pain in my heart because this was the first time since I can remember that Jake didn't give me a kiss on my head when he sees me in the morning. I swallow hard.

I try to not make it obvious that I'm really hurt, but I have difficulties to consecrate.

After school whit Esme I have Piano lesson whit Dad, not that there would be anything new for me to learn but I love to play whit him together. It calms me down a little bit, usually. Jake is sitting in the corner and reading when he suddenly gets up and leaves the room whit out any explanation. "Jake? Where are you going?" I getting up to get him but Dad holds me back. "Nessie. Just let him." "What going on Dad?" "What's wrong with him?" Dad puts me down. "He just needs time."

I run upstairs into my room, more frustrated, angry and confused than ever before. Dad promised Jake not no tell me what's wrong with him." Thanks, Dad for bags tabbing me.

I walk towards my bed when I see a little envelope whit my name on it. I can detect this handwriting from a million miles. My name is written in his scrawly handwriting. But my feeling says that this Letter will not bring me any good because he wrote my full name on it and that can never be something good.