I never liked school. I would always go and come with a frown upon my face.
"What's wrong, Gilbert? Don't you like school?" My mother would ask me that everyday. She promised me that I would make friends. Good ones.
"How was your day?" She asked me one day, like any other day in the week. I grumpily said "fine," but it was a bit more than fine. I had make a new friend today. His name was Roderich. I liked to make fun of him quite a bit, but he stayed.
I never told her I made a friend that day, but she what she said was right. The promise she made to me came true. I soon had a little group at school everyday. It consisted of Roderich, Elizabeta, Antonio, Francis, and soon enough, my brother, Ludwig.
Finally, when I couldn't hold in my stories about school, I told them all to my mother. I told her about all the things we did in our clubs, lunch, and any other free time we had to talk. When my rant was over, she looked at me, surprised.
"Gilbert! I didn't know you had friends, let alone four! Why didn't you tell me? You can trust me with anything," she said. I looked down and sighed.
"Really...? Anything?" I was unsure. Usually, I kept everything to myself.
"Anything. I will always care and support you." She smiled brightly, telling me that it was okay.
"Do you promise?" I said quietly. She grabbed my hand and hooked her pinky finger with mine.
"I promise.
Yet, she lied. She didn't give a second thought. Well, at least it looked like she didn't.
I was fourteen. Fourteen. I walked into the living room. I told my mother to sit. I had something important to tell her. Very, very important.
"Mother," I took a deep breath, "I have something to tell you."
She nodded and held a small smile. "What is it, Gilbert?"
Another breath. "Mutter, I'm... I'm gay." And everything froze.
Right when I had announced that, my dad walked into the room, tired from work. He looked at me calmly. Then, suddenly, he strode over to me and gripped my shoulders harshly. He screamed and cursed at me in German. I was afraid. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of my parents.
I glanced toward my mom, who was covering her mouth as tears ran down her cheeks. I was so afraid. I couldn't redo what I had done. I couldn't change who I loved or liked. It was all falling, breaking apart.
Without noticing, I wasn't breathing. I was preparing myself for any, any kind of violence from him. It came. He punched me, kicked me, and pushed me to the ground. I was called a whore. Fag. My tears spilled from my eyes. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't.
I was soon saved. Saved by Ludwig, my dear, dear bruder. I couldn't do anything but smile quietly and whisper "I'm sorry" to my parents, and my brother. Ludwig...
After that incident, my dad moved out. He brought Ludwig with him. I stayed with my mother.
She couldn't stand looking at me. She couldn't do anything to help me. She broke her promise.
"You promised, Mutter. You promised..." I held back a sob.
