Title: Fortune's Might
Pairing: SS/RL
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his world belong to JKR.
Author's Note: Thank you Chase'sGirl19 (first review!) and Emily-pino (so great that you're still around!) for the kind reviews, great to have you back :). As promised, here is chapter 2, enjoy!
Lesson Two: Battle Of Wills
Severus woke early next morning and used the time before breakfast to catch Albus off guard and confront him again about Lupin. He did not want to leave him a chance to prepare for this interview, though he feared that Albus had spent the summer thinking up arguments in favour of Lupin's appointment. No matter what Severus came up with, Albus would surely be ready for it. But if Severus did not try, he would not have done whatever he could. It seemed as though his brain had sorted his own arguments overnight, providing him with a whole arsenal of well-founded objections to Lupin's appointment. Severus supposed that Albus had already been made aware of them by McGonagall and the other Heads of Houses but they were not as vicious or resolute as Severus was.
It was so early that Severus only came across very few students on his way to the Headmaster's office and his shadow was so long that it stretched all across the corridor when he passed the windows, through which the rising sun was illuminating the stone in pale rose. Severus gazed out over the grounds and found a black dot that was Hagrid, already at work in the patch behind his hut. The greenhouses were glittering in the sunlight, the Forest and the lawns were quite still, no life stirring in the grounds apart from the Whomping Willow, which was swaying slightly without the need for wind as though enjoying itself. Severus remembered very vividly the night when he had descended into the tunnel that was located beneath it, sent there by Sirius Black to find his death at the jaws of the werewolf who was now teaching here. Nowadays he thought he must have been extremely curious as to Lupin's secret to do something that Black told him to do. But he had been young and Lupin had been a challenging mystery. Keeping to himself the secret he had unraveled had been more than difficult for him back then. When he thought of what Lupin's shabby robes, he believed that the secrecy had not helped him a lot. But perhaps he would look even worse if those who knew had not kept their silence about it.
Severus arrived at the Headmaster's office without really noticing that he had reached the corridor. As he uttered the password ("Chocolate Frog") the gargoyle guarding the winding stairs hopped aside to let him pass. The door at the top of the stairs swung open of its own accord when Severus knocked. He entered, looking around at Albus's whirring and puffing silver instruments and the countless portraits on the circular walls that were still sleeping at this early hour. Just as well, Severus did not like their unqualified remarks when he was speaking to the Headmaster about such a very delicate matter. The sun was now properly rising over the trees of the Forbidden Forest and its light was blinding Severus as it was reflected by the glass case in which the sword of Gryffindor had been residing ever since the Boy Who Had Only Just Lived had pulled it out of the Sorting Hat in the Chamber of Secrets before the holidays.
"Ah, good morning, Severus," said Albus suddenly, apparently having only just realised that Severus was there, as he looked up from a few letters lying on his desk, "yes, I thought you would come to see me. Please, sit down my boy." He indicated the chair opposite him with a cordial smile, though Severus was sure Albus knew why he had come.
"Good morning, Headmaster," said Severus smoothly, but he remained standing beside the chair, "I wanted to speak to you again about Lupin's appointment."
Albus did not answer but waved his wand, conjuring a teakettle, which started whistling at once, two cups, and a tin of tealeaves, which were ladled into the cups by a spoon soaring through the air. Albus did not believe in doing anything by hand. Especially when reading. When his blue eyes found Severus's, he gave his wand another wave and the chair beside Severus slid back a few inches. "Do have a seat, Severus," he said pleasantly, "sherbet lemon?" And he held out a tin with yellow sweets in it.
"No, thank you," growled Severus indignantly, folding his arms, and remained standing.
"Would you prefer something else?" asked Albus, rummaging around in one of the drawers of his desk. "I could offer you some rather delicious ginger newts – Minerva gave them to me just yesterday."
"No, thank you," repeated Severus and narrowed his eyes at the Headmaster, "I have not come here to eat sweets or to drink tea. I wish to express my concern about your decision to appoint Lupin. I believe that you would do well to reconsider."
"Really?" asked Albus, seeming entirely unconcerned and only mildly interested.
"Yes," replied Severus firmly, tapping his foot on the ground, "really. I cannot believe that you would simply dismiss all the reasons not to appoint him simply because you like him. He is a werewolf –"
"Which, if I remember correctly, is no reason not to appoint him," interrupted Albus, still rather pleasantly, "since you agreed to brew the Wolfsbane Potion, which will make him perfectly harmless … unless you do no longer feel up to the task … in which case I would order it directly from Damocles Belby and compliment him on inventing the first potion I have ever known my Potions master to be incapable of brewing."
"I can brew the blasted Potion," said Severus coldly, for the only thing that made this arrangement bearable was that he had Lupin at his mercy. Never would Severus let Albus run away with the illusion that he was in any way incapable of brewing any potion. He wanted him and Lupin to know exactly that they depended on him and that they were in his debt … well, maybe not Albus, but definitely Lupin.
"Well, then I see no problem, do you?" asked Albus but did not wait for an answer before he poured Severus a cup of tea and pushed it over the table. "Cup of tea? And do sit down, please, Severus."
"But I do see a problem," said Severus, ignoring him stubbornly. "Headmaster, what about the parents? If they find out you will be in serious trouble."
"I think we agree that they will not find out, since everybody who could tell them has been sworn to secrecy, have they not, my boy?" asked Albus, a note of warning in his voice that only Severus would hear. Severus jerked his head in reluctant consent and Albus nodded, obviously satisfied that they agreed on that point. "So, no need to worry about me, though I do feel touched that you do. I am taking full responsibility and I stand by my choice. Remus Lupin is the right man for the job and his condition is no reason for us to mistrust him, in fact we have no right to judge him. You and I least of all. He is not the kind of savage werewolf you have encountered in the vicinity of Lord Voldemort. I am the Headmaster, which means that I am the one who has to consider the consequences of my actions, which I have done thoroughly as you might imagine, seeing that I am unconcerned and quite at ease. Not to worry. Drink your tea before it turns cold, Severus."
Severus's face darkened and he refused to comply. "Even if you are right and Lupin is no threat –"
"I have no doubt that you will make sure of that, you are, after all, and extraordinary Potioneer," Albus remarked and Severus's lips twitched treacherously.
"Flattery is not going to help you now, Headmaster," said Severus silkily. "There is still the issue of Sirius Black. Lupin and Black are old friends, how can you be sure that Lupin won't help Black – let him into the castle for instance – to accomplish his mission of killing Harry Potter? Don't you think it highly unwise to place your trust in him and give him unhindered access to the students now of all times?"
Albus gave him a warning look and Severus felt uncomfortably cowed. "I trust the man completely, Severus. I have learned from the past that trusting Sirius Black and not Remus Lupin was a mistake. I won't make it twice."
But Severus did not think that distrusting someone was ever a bad idea if one wasn't sure – and one could almost never be sure – if the person was trustworthy. And it did not matter that in reality his sole aim was to get rid of Lupin, notwithstanding his trustworthiness or lack thereof. "What tells us, though, that he hasn't been Black's accomplice all along?" he pressed, on even though he saw Albus's understanding smile. "What if you were not wrong to mistrust him in the first place?"
"You want him to be guilty for any price, do you not, Severus?" said Albus shrewdly, putting the very tips of his fingers together and giving him that very same look that he had given him after the full moon when Lupin had almost eaten him in their fifth year. That day he had said the exact same words to him upon making him swear not to tell anyone about Lupin's condition. Severus had been just as angry, just as eager to get rid of the werewolf. Not because he was a werewolf – he would have hated him just as much if he had been just another boy – but because of what he had done to him. Albus sighed as Severus did not reply. "Why don't you let it rest, Severus, instead of wasting your energy thinking up unlikely scenarios that might make Remus look suspicious? Don't you think it is time to forget that old grudge of yours?"
"This has nothing to do with – I am not here because –" Severus stopped and grumbled at Albus's expectant expression. "I'm going to be the one who has to deal with him, even though you know full well that I hate him, I will have to sacrifice my time for his Potion. I only want to make sure that he doesn't open the front doors to a mad mass murderer while I am making an effort to make sure he doesn't harm anyone. Isn't it an extraordinary coincidence that Lupin turns up here now, when his old friend is on the run? I could keep an eye on him, like I did on Quirrel. Make sure that he doesn't eat –"
"Severus," said Albus and his voice was giving away impatient anger, "sit down!" And this time Severus complied, though grudgingly. "Listen closely now, dear boy, because I am only going to say it once: I appointed Remus Lupin because I think that he is the best man to protect Harry and the one man that I trust not to help Black. Let me finish," Albus said when Severus opened his mouth to contradict him. "Yes, he was Sirius Black's friend but you forget that he was also James and Lily's and of course Peter Pettigrew's friend and because of that I am sure he will do all he can to help us protect the Potters' son. He did not ask for this position, he was quite uneasy with the thought at first. But to him it is an obligation and an honour and he assured me he would take the task seriously. Apart from that, he's always been a good teacher, he has a gift only few of us possess," he paused to sip on his tea but Severus didn't dare speak again. "And have you never considered that I wanted Remus here because Black escaped from Azkaban? I have my very own reasons for his appointment. And you of all people should know that I never place my trust lightly. So you see, I've thought it through quite thoroughly."
Severus rubbed the underside of his left forearm self-consciously, thinking that, no matter what he said now, it would bring up the topic of his own trustworthiness and the circumstances that had brought him to this school, and he had no desire to talk about that. He should have foreseen this outcome. But it had been worth a try, though it had made him feel slightly uncomfortable. He had once been the one to receive Albus's trust when nobody else would have trusted him. But maybe that was one reason why he did not want Lupin to be granted the same mercy. He jerked his head, clearing his mind of those thoughts. Then, very slowly, he took a sip of the much too sweet tea Albus had poured him and reached for the tin of sherbet lemons, taking one out and rolling it between his fingers.
"Very well, Headmaster," he said softly, meeting Albus's eyes, "I still don't believe that it was wise to appoint Lupin, and I cannot guarantee that I will be able to refrain from telling him so … but I shall respect your decision."
Albus beamed, all anger forgotten, it seemed. "Excellent, Severus, I knew you would not disappoint me. It is not as though I was asking you to become friends after all. Have some more tea," he said and poured them both more tea.
"Thank you, Headmaster," said Severus quietly and popped the sherbet lemon into his mouth, thinking defiantly that he would never become friends with Lupin, even if his life depended on it. The rest of their meeting was spent mostly with light conversation and some pleasant silence until they descended to the Great Hall together to have breakfast.
As they walked towards the High Table together, Albus greeted Lupin, who was already seated beside Professor Flitwick, and Lupin returned the gesture with a tired but visibly satisfied smile. Severus rolled his eyes and wished the werewolf would just go away. Albus chortled and leant in to whisper into Severus's ear. "Try not to be too rude to him," he said and Severus glared.
"Do not ask too much, Dumbledore," growled Severus as they sat down next to each other, "there are limits to everything."
Albus just chortled on and his mood was far too good for Severus's taste. To his left, Severus caught a few snippets of Lupin's conversation with Flitwick that told him that the werewolf had already charmed at least one of his colleagues out of his wits. A professional conversation about Charms, a reminiscence of Lupin's excellent Charms OWL and NEWT, and a discussion about the Patronus Charm, all before breakfast had ended. Severus counted himself very lucky that his own subject had always been Lupin's worst. He would not have to fear a forced conversation about Potions with him. But Flitwick seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. And so did Professor Babbling of Ancient Runes as Severus passed her and Lupin in the corridor, conversing between classes about recent findings of ancient texts. And when Severus whisked into the staff room before lunch, he found Professor Sprout talking animatedly to the werewolf about growing magical plants in his back garden.
That man was slowly infiltrating the staff and quite successfully so. Before it was even noon, Severus distinctly heard Flitwick telling Albus that Lupin was a "delightful boy", while McGonagall called him a valuable and pleasant addition to the staff, only topped off by Vector assuring Albus that Lupin's company was worthwhile and stimulating. Lockhart must have left them all with very low standards. Beside him, Lupin, with his air of modest competence, subtle sense of humour, and kind friendliness must seem quite a pleasant colleague. Severus wasn't blinded by that, though. Anger building in Severus's stomach, it came as extremely annoying news that on the first day of term, Draco Malfoy had been attacked by Hagrid's favourite hippogriff, meaning unpleasant post from his father Lucius, no doubt. Draco, of course, made a big show of it all, though his arm was not severely injured as Madam Pomfrey assured Severus over Draco's wailing.
As he sat in the staffroom in the afternoon, trying to relax and let go of today's indignation, he heard McGonagall and Lupin entering the room, talking about the Gryffindor third-years' first Transfiguration class of term. They sat down close to Severus, which brought back the indignation in an instant, and he prayed for self-control as Lupin smiled at him.
"They were distracted all lesson," said McGonagall with some irritation in her voice, "and when they didn't applaud at my Animagus transformation, I knew that something was wrong. I mean, not that I would complain, but you've seen it, too, usually when a class sees it for the first time, they always applaud."
Severus snorted and she shot him a severe look, her nostrils flaring, her mouth thinning. Lupin, sitting opposite him, did not react, but averted his eyes for a moment as though to hide his thoughts. Then he focused his attention on McGonagall again, folding his hands on the table as she went on.
"Then Hermione Granger told me that they had had their first Divination class and of course I knew what was wrong. Sybill had predicted another death – Sybill Trelawney, of course you haven't met her yet and, though you will not hear me speak badly of any of my colleagues," she paused to give Severus a pointed look at which he snorted again, "you would be lucky if it remained that way. She predicts a death every year, you see. It's a kind of wicked ritual of hers with which she greets her new classes."
At this, Lupin chuckled lightly and his husky voice sent an involuntary shiver down Severus's spine. He retaliated with a glare that Lupin registered but only answered with a quizzically raised eyebrow and another one of those smiles. This man was more annoying than anyone Severus had ever met. And that was saying something.
"She did this to the teachers, too, you know, twelve years ago, when she and Severus joined the staff," said McGonagall and Severus glared at her instead, "I believe it was Severus, whose death she predicted, but, alas, as you can see, he is still in full health. I fear she only expressed her dislike for him like that, isn't that right, Severus, she always seemed less than fond of you."
"Did you just say 'alas'?" asked Severus jerkily and Lupin chuckled his husky chuckle again, causing an almost visible shiver in Severus. "Shouldn't a Deputy Headmistress be a little more diplomatic?"
"Diplomacy isn't part of my job description, which means that even you could become Deputy, if you cared enough to apply," retorted McGonagall and Severus challenged her to a glaring match.
He had no desire to remind her of the topic of Trelawney not liking him, for the reason was private and he wasn't likely to tell those two Gryffindors about it. Trelawney remembered, of course, that Severus had once eavesdropped on her job interview with Dumbledore in the Hog's Head. Why this was so significant, she had no idea, she had merely found him rude, impertinent perhaps. Her opinion of him had never improved since.
After a few moments, Lupin cleared his throat – to no effect – and interrupted their match, to be continued some other time, Severus and McGonagall agreed silently. "And whose death has she predicted this time?" he asked hoarsely, shaking his greying hair out of his amber eyes as they flitted into Severus's direction.
"Oh, surely you can guess, Remus, which boy in third year attracts bad luck like gold attracts Nifflers?" said McGonagall irritably, her eyes directed at the ceiling, surely maledicting Trelawney many floors above in the North Tower.
"Not Harry?" asked Lupin, now frowning.
"Of course, who else!" replied McGonagall exasperatedly. "I suppose she just couldn't resist the temptation. That boy must be like a gift from the gods to her. She was never anything short of insensitive. As though Potter wasn't troubled enough with Black on the loose and all the other things he has gone through. Predicting his death was the height of –" she made an annoyed noise in the back of her throat, then she continued in a calmer voice, "Of course I told him he had nothing to fear, so I hope he won't dwell on it."
"I wouldn't mind if this time her prediction proved to be right for a change," Severus said, causing the other two to look at him disbelievingly. McGonagall's face darkened and Lupin raised his eyebrows.
"Don't talk such nonsense, Severus," barked McGonagall and turned back to Lupin. "Don't take him seriously, those are empty words. He likes to give Potter a hard time but he would never want him dead. Still, Severus exceeds even Sybill in terms of insensitivity."
"Maybe he could just almost die," suggested Severus and McGonagall rolled her eyes. "He is good at that, isn't he? Good riddance …" he muttered under his breath. Lupin glanced at him but turned his attention back to McGonagall without commenting Severus's words. He was lucky he didn't. He knew when to shut his mouth. That would make their cooperation much easier.
"But how did Professor Trelawney predict Harry's death?" he asked, sounding sceptical. "Did she have a vision?"
"She saw the Grim in his tealeaves," sighed McGonagall wearily, "or so she says."
Suddenly Lupin seemed alert. "The Grim?" he asked in some disquietude. "You mean that … that black dog?"
"Yes, yes," said McGonagall with a dismissive shrug, rolling her eyes, "worst omen of death, haunts churchyards, people drop dead at the sight of it … a whole load of rubbish if you ask me …" she trailed off when she noticed Lupin's concerned expression. "But surely you don't believe in such nonsense, Remus?" she asked, perplexed, and though Lupin looked rather upset, next moment his face had brightened and he shook his head.
"No, no, of course not," he assured her, but Severus thought that he detected a lie in the amber eyes. "I was just thinking about how shocked poor Harry must've been. If you'd excuse me now, I've lessons to prepare …" And with that he got up and left the staffroom.
Severus and McGonagall exchanged surprised looks and as Severus leant back in his chair again, propping his chin up on his fist, he wondered whether he had been mistaken in Lupin. Perhaps he was not as clever as he seemed, but a superstitious fool? Did Lupin really believe what that fraud Trelawney had predicted? Or was it something else? Somehow it seemed very improbable that Lupin would believe in omens of death, he did not appear like a fool, even though he was a Gryffindor. There must be something more behind that odd behaviour.
But there wasn't much time to ponder this, for Severus was approached by Hagrid about the hippogriff attack only a little while later, and had a hard time understanding the half-giant's sobbed apology between the wails of despair and misery. It was hard not to feel sorry for him. And in his first lesson, too. Draco, Severus supposed, had probably provoked the accident, but to prove it, and to warrant that the hippogriff wasn't really dangerous would be very hard. Severus assured Hagrid that he would deal with Draco's father, though he thought that there would be consequences for the hippogriff if not for Hagrid himself. At least he had not lost his job, which would most likely remain that way as long as Albus was in charge. But Severus knew Lucius Malfoy well and he was sure that he would not just let the matter rest.
What a good start into the new school year, Severus thought, when he walked back to his rooms that evening. He had left dinner early to prepare his classroom for tomorrow before going to bed. He was rather tired, having got up so early to talk to Albus. For nothing. Having expected the corridors to be empty, Severus was surprised to hear hurried footsteps behind him and a hoarse voice calling his name. He turned round and was annoyed to see the blasted werewolf coming his way, slowing down upon seeing that Severus had stopped. Apparently Lupin was determined to spoil even the last quiet moments that Severus could find in this castle. He was already expecting that forced conversation on Potions and was ready to smother it immediately with a snide remark and make sure Lupin got it straight that Severus would not be susceptible to his attempts to make friends with everyone.
"Severus," Lupin said in his hoarse voice, slightly out of breath. He smiled his curious smile and Severus answered with a glare to make clear to him that he was not welcome. But to no effect. "The Headmaster says you need to see me because of the Potion. Adjusting ingredients and dosages to my needs it was, I think."
"Did he, now?" Severus growled and Lupin nodded, raising an eyebrow. Dumbledore had to be very careful. He was just about to cross a line.
"I hope he wasn't mistaken?" asked Lupin politely and cocked his head to one side. "I would loathe getting on your nerves for nothing." The amused light was back in his eyes and Severus glowered at him. If he cared about Severus's nerves, he wouldn't have come at all.
"As a matter of fact he was quite right," Severus replied, sizing Lupin up with narrowed eyes. "You should think if the Headmaster knows the particulars of this Potion so well he would want to make it himself, seeing as you are his responsibility. But no, he delegates this unpleasant task to me, adding the responsibility as the icing on the rotten cake because he has no time to eat it himself."
"I believe he considers your skill greater than his own and therefore he gladly transfers the responsibility to you," said Lupin and the delicate flattery made Severus give him an incredulous look, which he answered with an inquisitive smile. "He also told me that you would find this Potion a welcome challenge, though you are unlikely to admit it. I understand that you are still quite passionate about potion-making?"
"Don't try to make civilised conversation, Lupin," said Severus smoothly, "I am not interested in it. As far as I am concerned, the less we converse the more bearable this arrangement will be for the both of us."
"I am sorry to be causing you such an inconvenience, Severus," said Lupin and the corners of his mouth twitched again. He didn't look sorry at all. "Unfortunately we have no choice but to live with it for now. I will do my best to find a way to repay you for your efforts."
"I would have several suggestions," muttered Severus but Lupin didn't seem to have heard, since he merely kept smiling. "Fine, then, follow me, so we can get this over with and relieve ourselves of each other's presence."
"I don't mind your presence, Severus," said Lupin frankly and Severus glanced at him in awkward surprise that made him scowl.
"But I do yours," he snapped and set off down the corridor, causing Lupin to follow.
When they had arrived at Severus's office, Severus held the door open for Lupin and stepped inside after him, closing it behind them. He lit the torches and sat down behind his desk, taking out quill, ink, and parchment to note down Lupin's information. He didn't offer Lupin a chair, so the werewolf remained standing in front of him, looking round at the shelves in sincere curiosity. Severus looked at the list of ingredients and the sheet with instructions Albus had provided.
"Weight?" he asked harshly and Lupin snapped out of his contemplation of a frog suspended in purple potion. He looked slightly bewildered for a moment, then raised an unconscious hand and ran it down the front of his robes.
"About eight stone, I think," he said absently and as he resumed considering the jars he coughed.
Severus looked closely at him and wondered if those robes really concealed such a thin frame. It was impossible to judge. But it did not matter, it was no concern of Severus's. Lupin would be able to eat three square meals a day at Hogwarts, so why even think about it. But as Severus jotted down the weight, his mind held on to it rather tightly. For a moment, he was quite preoccupied and he forgot what he had to ask next, so he checked the instructions.
"Height?" he asked then and looked back up at Lupin to find him leaning a little to the side to consider a rat brain in green potion. He seemed interested, but apparently didn't want to walk around lest Severus didn't approve. Well, Severus would surely not give him permission to move, it was far too satisfying to see him crane his neck with considerable difficulty.
"Five foot, ten inches," he said just as absently as before and his eyes drifted upwards to fasten on a slug in red potion. "Though sometimes I lie and make myself a little taller," he added with a grin and Severus gave him a look that he didn't notice.
"Age, thirty-three," muttered Severus, writing it down. "Do you have any allergies or other afflictions I should know of?"
"No, other than being a werewolf I am quite all right, thank you," said Lupin pleasantly and looked round at Severus, who shook his head at him and wrote it down.
"How long have you been suffering from said affliction?" Severus asked, reading out the question from the instructions.
"Twenty-eight long years," said Lupin and his voice changed a little, became rather suffering, indeed, but only for an instant. Then Lupin smiled and chuckled huskily, triggering that same shiver in Severus. "I can assure you that one doesn't get used to it."
Severus ignored him, shaking off the tingling sensation the shiver had left in its wake, and he glared down at his parchment, quite annoyed again. "That will do," he said, after double-checking the list. "Should I need anything else, I shall let you know. There is no need for you to talk to me about the Potion, I shall remember to make it and approach you with it to instruct you in the week before the full moon. Until then, I hope dearly that you will stay well away from me. That would, for now, be enough of a payback."
Lupin chuckled once more and Severus cursed him inwardly for the huskiness of it and the awfully unwelcome effect it had on him. The werewolf did not reply, though, which Severus took as something like a "you wish", annoying him even more as he realised that Lupin would probably try to establish a good working relationship with him. Lupin did not seem to notice or care, but nodded at a few of the rather more nasty jars to his right. "There won't be any of that in the Potion, will there?" he asked in worried amusement.
Severus raised an eyebrow. He tried to ignore his offended irritation at Lupin's apparent disgust, so different from the interest he had shown earlier. Usually it didn't matter to him when people did not appreciate the singular objects he had collected over the years. Not many people understood this fascination. But at first Lupin had seemed sincerely intrigued when he had looked at them. Now Severus just wanted him to leave again. "Would you refuse to drink it if it were so?" Severus asked after a few moments, hoping the answer would be yes. But no such luck.
"Oh, I would drink it, but …" Lupin said slowly, rubbing his neck, "they seem quite valuable. Wasted on me, I daresay. And, to be quite frank with you, I could never appreciate rat brains as useful ingredients, I always have to think of their tails in the Pepper-Up Potions in winter. It doesn't help it go down. I can live with beetles and leeches, even slugs … but brains make me uncomfortable. And rats … I'm sure their magical values are significant, though."
He chuckled apologetically and Severus was taken aback by the swooping sensation it incited in his stomach. He glared at Lupin for doing this to him and got to his feet to throw him out. He opened the door and Lupin turned. "Never fear, no rat brains in your Potion," said Severus coldly, making Lupin smile gratefully. "And now leave, you are wasting my time."
"All right, I'm already on my way," smiled Lupin and passed Severus out into the corridor. "Thank you again for the time you invest in this, I do appreciate it. I wish you a good night."
Severus jerked his head in dismissal and watched Lupin walk slowly up the corridor, humming softly to himself. "Don't let the Grim catch you," Severus called after him and smirked as Lupin flinched.
Then he slammed the door and locked it to keep out more unwanted visitors, turned to his store cupboard and tried to remember what he had wanted to do when he had left dinner. But it was as though there was an impenetrable veil of thoughts revolving around Lupin, hiding from his mind's eye the important work he had meant to undertake. Staring at the ingredients did not help, for it merely reminded Severus of the way Lupin's amber eyes had scrutinised the objects in the glass jars surrounding him, suspended in multicoloured potions, reflecting the werewolf's face as though they mirrored all the different facets of his annoying personality. That husky chuckle still seemed to be reverberating from them, or maybe just inside Severus's body, which appeared to have absorbed and multiplied it to reproduce the unpleasantly pleasant shiver it had caused several times today.
Closing the cupboard, Severus heaved an exasperated sigh and tried to clear his mind, but it would not quite obey him. Keeping an eye on Lupin suddenly didn't seem all too unpleasant a task anymore. It promised to help him find out what lay behind that smile that Lupin always gave him, or rather the different smiles. The one that seemed habitual, like a mask, hid from Severus's eyes something that made him indecently curious. Was it the betrayal Severus thought – or hoped – he would commit? Was it defiance, as he had believed yesterday? Or was it something completely other? And what did it mean when Lupin's smile twitched, giving Severus the impression of some real emotion? It was strange enough that Lupin smiled at him like that when anybody else would give him nothing short of a death glare. That Lupin stayed in his presence when anybody would gladly seize the first chance to take their leave. He wanted to make conversation even though Severus told him straight out he had no interest in it. And all smiling staunchly. It had some unyielding quality. It was quite intriguing.
But Severus did not want the werewolf to be intriguing. He did not want him to be noticeably handsome, or attractive in any other way. Though a part of him admitted grudgingly that he had been pleased to find somebody sincerely interested in his rare ingredients, he did not want it to be Lupin of all people. He did not want his treacherous body to shiver when Lupin laughed his husky laugh. But all of this added up to a mystery, quite as obscure and tempting as Lupin's many illnesses and his secretive air had been at school. And Severus, who wanted to look to the bottom of things always, could not quite seem to resist it. The loathing he felt for Lupin was dimmed somewhat by this new feeling, yet he still muttered maledictions as he entered his rooms, cursing Lupin for forcing his way not only into Severus's life but also into his mind. He should not want to keep an eye on the werewolf, but just like he had at school, he felt a strong urge to do so.
In the complete, dark silence of his bedroom, the chuckle that his body had captured resounded in his mind like the echo of a canon blast. Now that man even followed him to bed. Severus glowered into the darkness. He should hate Lupin with every ounce of his body, like he had until yesterday, he should not waste precious hateful ounces on other sensations. That man was treading on delicate ground. Severus wanted him gone. Needed him gone. And he would do his best to make him leave.
