author's note: Here's the long-awaited second part - hopefully it was worth the wait, though. Thank you guys so much for all the reviews and favourites and alerts on the last chapter, it was amazing!
Of course, I don't own Austin and Ally which belongs to Disney; the song at the beginning id Give Your Heart A Break by Demi Lavato.
PS - See if you can spot the Mean Girls reference. ;)
love songs for the broken hearted
PART II
"The day I first met you / You told me you'd never fall in love / But now that I get you / I know fear is what it really was / Now here we are, so close / Yet so far, haven't I passed the test? / When will you realize / Baby, I'm not like the rest / Don't wanna break your heart / I wanna give your heart a break / I know you're scared it's wrong / Like you might make a mistake / There's just one life to live / And there's no time to wait, to waste / So let me give your heart a break."
— GIVE YOUR HEART A BREAK, Demi Lavato.
huit.
He knows he shouldn't haven looked at Ally's songbook — he just knows it; it's one of their unspoken rules of friendship — don't make fun of Austin's hair, never bother Ally when she has a pickle and never, ever, under any circumstances, read Ally's songbook — on pain of death.
Austin briefly remembers the last person that read her songbook — he is currently residing at the local cemetery. "Oh crap," he mutters when he hears familiar footsteps outside.
He manages to sit down on one of the hard wooden chairs just as she enters the room, humming an unfamiliar tune to herself. She doesn't notice him at first and begins singing the song that she'd been humming when she'd entered the room. Her voice is quiet and melodious.
"I love the things you do, it's how you do the things you love, but it's not a love song, not a love song, I love the way you get me not, correct me if I'm wrong — this is not a love song, not a love song." Her voice had a deeper undertone to it, almost sad . . .
He secretly loves these moments — where Ally is unguarded and vulnerable but still Ally. It's one of those things he loves about her. Of course, she'll kill him once she realizes that he's listening to her sing. "Hey," he says, just to alert her of his presence.
She jumps, startled, and Austin smiles at her. The easy expression that had been on her face since she entered is gone now, replaced by a guarded, wary expression. "Austin, hi," she tries to give him a smile, but he knows her too well and he doesn't buy it.
"What gives, Ally?" he asks, looking at her directly in the eye — or at least attempting to; she purposely turns her eyes skyward, avoiding his gaze. "I thought you were excited to hang out together tonight . . . and all of a sudden you're calling to cancel?" There is a layer of hurt in his voice that he doesn't bother to hide — after all, they know each other too well for facades to work.
Ally still doesn't meet his gaze. "Listen, I'm sorry, Austin. I just can't, okay? I can't."
Austin stands up and takes two steps closer to Ally. His brow is furrowed in thought. "Does this have anything to do with Cassidy — because you can tell me, Ally, you should know that."
"It — it has nothing to do with Cassidy," Ally says in a near-whisper. "I just can't hang out tonight."
Austin Moon may be a lot of things, but he is most definitely not stupid. However, the look that Ally gives him stops him from any further interrogation. "Okay." Of course, not interrogating Ally does not mean not trying to get to the bottom of this case for Austin Moon.
"I — I have to go," she says and she slips past him, through the door, and into the nearly deserted hallways. He has a strange urge to chase after her, but he doesn't because he's noticed a piece of paper on the ground — something that's fallen out of Ally's songbook.
Lyrics and chords for a song called Not A Love Song.
x
neuf.
He skips the rest of second period — after all, he's already missed fifteen minutes and right now, Calculus is the last thing on his mind. He manages to sneak out of the school and wanders into the area of the parking lot that he and Ally usually hang out — well, where they hung out before Cassidy and Dallas had come into the picture.
He studies the song that Ally'd dropped but gives up because it reminds him of Ally's sudden (read: strange and mysterious) coolness towards him. He can't help the feeling that Cassidy is behind this but he'll find out the truth at before third period.
Sometimes, he wonders of dating Cassidy is worth the drama — then she'll whisper that she loves him or grab his hand and, for that moment, he will be placated. Until they return back to their usual bickering. Sometimes, it seems that dating Cassidy is more of a chore than a leisure activity. Not that he'd ever tell her that.
Finally, second period is over and he can go back to his locker and pretend that he was in Calc and that people aren't staring at him and reporting the latest trials and follies of Aussidy — their portmanteau given to them by their fellow students — and asking him for interviews.
He puts Ally's song in his back pocket, planning ways to give it to her without her assuming the worst.
As expected, people whisper when he passes them on his way to his locker and he wistfully remembers freshman year, when he was just another anonymous ninth grader, back when it was just Austin and Ally with no strings and no Dallas and no Cassidy. "Excuse me," he says rather roughly to a pair of juniors, making out in front of his locker.
They shift a few feet to the left, lips still fiercely locked.
He envies them — the fact that they, at least, seem to be making use of Valentine's Day.
x
dix.
"Austin. Good, you're here." It's Cassidy and her band of loyal servants — er, friends — an expression of fake joy on her face. "We need to talk. Girls, see you later?"
The girls (who he secretly calls the minions in his head) all give Cassidy simpering smiles and sashay off, probably to go gossip about some innocent girl that Cassidy has decided to hate.
"Cassidy, I have to ask you something and you have to promise to answer truthfully," Austin begins before she can even start her (rehearsed) spiel. Her pink lips fall open in surprise and her blonde eyebrows rise until they are threateningly high. He isn't exactly surprised — he can count on one hand the amount of times he's talked back to Cassidy.
"Sure, honey," she says, her smile growing bigger.
"Did you threaten Ally or something, because she's acting all weird around me and I really don't know what's going on," he says this all in a rush, dropping his voice so that no one can hear the latest part of the Aussidy drama.
Unlike most people, Cassidy doesn't frown when she is angry or annoyed — instead, her smile grows larger. And right now, her smile can only be compared to that of the Cheshire cat. "Listen, Austin, honey," her voice loses the fake sincerity. "I didn't have anything to do with Ally not talking to you. Maybe she finally got a clue that you're my boyfriend and you belong to me . . . "
He searches Cassidy's face for any sign of insincerity and as arrogant as that rant was, she doesn't seem to be lying when she says that she had nothing to do with Ally's coldness towards him. Of course, the latter part of the sentence manages to anger him all the same. "Listen, babe," he says, lowering his voice even more so that she has to lean in even closer to her to listen. "I'm not anyone's property — I'm Austin Moon and I don't need someone like you to be happy."
Her jaw drops. "Austin — "
"No, Cassidy," he hisses, "you listen, because I've finally had enough of this — of you treating me like I'm your dog that will always wander back to me. I'm done with this . . . I'm done with you."
He leaves her there, staring after him, mouth opening and closing like a guppy's.
x
onze.
He goes to his third period classic — English Literature — and sits down in his usual seat. The look on his face is so dark that he almost pities anyone who even looks at him the wrong way. It seems that everyone is getting his vibe, however, and no one talks to him.
Except for Dez — but he doesn't really count, does he?
"Hey, man," Dez says, mouth full of hotdog. Austin wonders how he can eat such greasy food this early in the morning. "What's up?"
"Cassidy and I are on the outs," Austin says with a sigh, absently doodling his initials onto his English binder. "She said some stuff about Ally and she basically says that she owns me."
"Doesn't she, though?" Dez wonders aloud. If it had been anyone else to utter those unfortunate words, Austin probably would have decked them then and there but it's Dez and he's often philosophical under the crazy-ass ginger façade — as hard to believe as that is. "I mean, doesn't she try to control who your friends are and what you do?"
"Man, that's not the same — " Austin pauses, mulling this over in his head. "Oh crap. You've got a point. I can't believe I didn't notice this before."
"It's kind of obvious, really," Dez says with a nonchalant shrug. "I mean, she likes being on top, but she doesn't like all the emotional crap." In other words, she didn't love him. Although he'd suspected this for the entirety of their relationship, to hear it stated so baldy was a major hit to his ego.
"Am I the only one who didn't realize this?" Austin groans quietly, putting his head in hands.
"I completely agree with you, Mr. Moon, Atticus' defence of Tom was superb and the jury's decision was quite disappointing," their English teacher, Mr. Griffin, says from the front of the classroom. Austin had never been gladder that he was insane about English, namely Harper Lee and To Kill A Mockingbird.
"Oh, yes, definitely," Austin says with as much gusto as he can muster — which is not a lot, but it seems to fool the teacher who goes back to talking about Dills and Scouts and Jems that Austin has no knowledge of and has no care to learn about.
Dez tries valiantly to hide his laughter, trying to pass it off as a coughing fit. "Dude."
Austin shrugs. "I didn't want to get detention — sue me."
Before he can grill Dez about other things in his relationship that everyone and their mother knew but no one decided to tell him, the door opens and a pimply faced, short sophomore enters. Glancing around shyly, she says, "Hi — uh, is this Mr. Griffin's classroom?"
"It is," the teacher replies, giving the girl a once-over.
"Uh — I'm Marcie Valentino," she says, stumbling over her words. "I'm supposed to deliver the Valentine's Day carnations and cards that people ordered last week." She coughs again and her entire face turns red.
"I forgot all about that," Austin mumbles.
"What difference does it make, dude? Cassidy doesn't send Valentine's — she only gets them. I hope Trish got me one," Dez sighs wistfully.
"Why? I didn't peg you to be a romantic," Austin mutters, face falling into a grin.
"Oh, don't worry. I'm not — I just want the chocolate."
"Okay, deliver them fast then, Margie; we're at the most exciting part of the book!" Mr. Griffin says, gesturing to his lethargic class. Austin can't help but snort in disbelief — this part of the book, in his opinion, is just as boring as the rest of the book.
"It's Marcie," she repeats, face still crimson. She begins handing out the Valentine's, " . . . three for Grace Bowman, two for Rachel Berry, one for a Snoop Dawg . . . four for Austin Moon — you go, Austin Moon! — and none for Dez Murphy." She quickly leaves after that.
Dez looks distraught.
"Here, man, you can have these," Austin offers, offering him two of his Valentines which were from anonymous freshmen. Dez lights up like a Christmas tree and grabs them from Austin, leaving Austin with two others.
For some unknown reason, his heart is pounding.
x
douze.
The first is from Ally, which says the usual: keep rocking. xox. — A. It is somewhat of a joking tradition that each year they'd send each other Valentine's saying 'keep rocking' and 'keep writing' because both of them are not fans of the extravagancy of Valentine's Day, and it is also a reminder to them to not give up their dreams. He'd gotten the same words from her for years, and yet it makes his heart race this time . . . he has no clue why.
And then he turns to the second Valentine, turning it over in his hands before opening it. He briefly wonders if Cassidy had relented on her 'get not give!' policy when he notices that it had song lyrics on it — that was strange. Someone had written a poem — or a song — on the piece if paper. 'You're always on my mind / I think about you all the time / Um, no / Lets not talk about it / Drama: We can live without it / Got your way with the world / There's a clock we'll ignore / Find a way around it.' The words seemed vaguely familiar, as if he'd read them before, but he chalks it up to hearing it on a sappy love poem in English Lit. There is no name on the card, just the words from your secret admirer.
He smiles to himself and puts the note into his back pocket, the same one which currently holds Ally's song.
x
treize.
He finds Dallas the second the bell rings, leaving Dez in the dust without an explanation because it finally fits — he's not as oblivious as everyone says he is.
"Dallas," he calls once he spots the floppy haired jock. "I think we need to talk." He closes Dallas' locker with a clang and the brown haired teen looks at Austin, bemused.
"Wait . . . what, man?" Dallas asks, looking confused.
"Do you like Ally?" he drops his voice. Dallas stares at Austin incredulously.
"Why would you — Ally and I broke up, Austin," Dallas says slowly, the way one would speak to a mad person. "Why would you even — ?"
"I — I think Ally may like you again," Austin whispers back. Dallas stares at Austin for a moment before bursting into a fit of raucous laughter.
"That's funny, man," Dallas says, wiping his eyes, his body still shaking with chortles.
"It's true!" Austin hisses, "So you'd better stop treating this as a joke, Dallas!"
"Trust me," Dallas says, his lips curving upwards into a smile, "she doesn't like me!"
"It was in her journal!" Austin retorts, "Your exact description!"
"You read her journal?" Dallas asks, eyebrows threatening to disappear entirely into his hairline.
"Yeah . . . well . . . " Austin looks down, embarrassed; he hadn't meant to spill that part — if this got back to Ally, well . . . he'd lived a nice life. "It was open — anyway, who else has the description of, ' . . . kind eyes, hair that flops just the right way. We live so close to each other, and yet we're so far apart, and he smells like a fresh summer breeze. And what is cooler than a guy named after a city in Texas?'"
"Dude," Dallas begins and then he face-palms. "You are so oblivious, Austin!"
"It wasn't about Dallas!" says a voice from behind Austin. Austin whips around because it's Ally and he's been worrying about her for the last hour and a half and — wait . . . what did she mean that she didn't have a crush on Dallas . . . ? "And I can't believe you read my journal!" Oh crap.
Austin gives her the equivalent of the troll-face.
"What?" Austin's tone is one of disbelief. After all, who else could it be? Dallas and Ally exchange the looks that he usually exchanges with Trish after Dez does or says something ridiculously insane or absurd. Ally cracks a smile. "What is so funny, may I ask?"
"The poem wasn't about Dallas," she replies, leaning in closer to him so that he can smell her perfume, Beyoncé's Hot, he takes a step back because his heart is pounding like it's just learned how to beat, and —
"Then who was it about?" Austin asks, confused. He is dimly aware that people are staring at him and that Dallas has backed away, still laughing.
Ally sighs like he is the biggest idiot in the world. "It was about you!" And she runs away from him.
x
quatorze.
He runs after her because that's all he knows how to do.
"Ally," he says when he finally catches up to her. "What do you mean what you wrote in your songbook was about me?" It's almost like the whole world has stopped, like things that used to matter even only minutes ago — Cassidy, school, plans for tonight — no longer do because it's just him and Ally, right here, right now. The way that it was always meant to be.
"Don't you get it, Austin?" She looks insane, positively, frighteningly mad like this — brown waves tumbling over her shoulders; eyes darting around like a frightened rabbit; her expression one of grim determination. She takes another deep breath.
As for Austin, he is staring at his best friend like he's questioning her sanity — which she wouldn't be surprised if he was doing, and there is an expression of confusion on his face. "Get what? What do you mean, Ally? Why are you being so cryptic?"
She lets out a short laugh. "You know how I always say that I channel my emotions into my writing — " she begins.
Austin stares at her. "Yeah, but what has that got to do with — "
"Maybe if you'd let me finish, then I could explain it to you," Ally snaps, turning back into her old, familiar self for a second. And then it is gone and this slightly crazy girl has taken her place once more.
Austin grins apologetically.
" — as I was saying; I channel my emotions into my writing. I was writing about being in love with someone. More specifically, being in love with my best friend." She pauses, looking up at Austin for the first time in this whole conversation.
"But — what — ?" Austin is confused.
Ally sighs, like he is the most clueless being on earth. "What I'm saying is that I love you, Austin Moon."
Austin's jaw drops. "You — you what?"
"I'm in love with you."
x
to be continued.
author's note ii: Jesus Christ, Austin is so oblivious it's adorable!
Hopefully I'll upload the final part by the end of the week and if I'm done all my THG oneshots, I'll upload a chapter of Summer Nights.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the plot twists and the chapter although it wasn't my best.
Please don't favourite / alert without leaving a review!
- Maddie (overstreets)
