Last time :

29 Minutes Later

The door slammed. I looked out my window and saw Vati get into the Clown Car and zoom off down the street at 1kph (which Grandad could easily outwalk).

My life is literally in shambles.

I have snoggus-interupts then my Lurrve God boyfriend who is italian and a luuurve god never calls, and now I may be an orphan.

Bloody Hell, and this is only my first day of Summer hols.

What else can go wrong?

(Sunday,August 1st)

(9:30am)

Woke up happy until I remembered yesterday...and Campo Fiasco.

I am never getting out of bed again.

(13 Minutes Later)

Gingey...Ginger!"

Oh great my mad little sister has decided to join me, along with Pantalitzer, Our Lord Sandra, Mr Potato and something cold and slimy.

I shot out of bed 'What is that?" I don't dare look under the covers.

Mum called up "Libby where's your jelly rabbit gone?"

Oh dear God.

(8 Minutes Later)

Washing my duvet. Well, taking it down to be washed, at least.

Mutti was humming in the kitchen buttering toast

"Erm, where's Vati?"

She just kept humming.

Did she finally snap and kill him and make him to Mulligan stew..or Nicolson Stew,rather ?

Like the bunny boiler in that one movie...

Oh dear God where's Angus ?

'Erm...we're not having stew for dinner by any chance, are we?"

She just kept humming and I was honestly starting to worry but then Vati came around the corner. He squeezed Mum's bottom and sat at the table.

She turned red and and set the toast in front of him. "Down big boy."

I said as loudly as I could 'Erlack."

Mutti turned round "Oh, didn't see you there."

Huh.

And last night she loved me and remembered ever minute of my life, etc etc.

Vati said to me "So what are you up to today? Something that will cost me money I suppose"

Mutti said 'Remember, you were her age once."

I mumbled under my breath "Yeah 2 million years ago" but Mutti heard me and started laughing.

Vati got all shirty and flustered but Mutti only said '"Oh stop it was funny."

"Well, you're going to miss me when I'm gone"

"When is that agasin?"

Vati shot me a look

'Erm, when are you leaving, I mean? Because I'll miss you so much and ...erm..."

Good Lord I sound like I swallowed Ellen.

"I leave the 9th. I'll be over in Africa for a month, then I have to come back to tell all the stuffed shirts how well I am doing blah blah blah then I'm back over for a 6-month period."

Bloody Hell, 7 months with out the Beardy One grouching about money and me hanging on the phone all them?

Not that I do,because my BOYFRIEND who is Itaian and a Lurrrve God still hasn't called me.

All of a sudden I don't feel hungry anymore.

(12 Seconds Later)

I was halfway up when Mutti called "Oh yeah,Georgia, some boy called for you last night ."

I froze on the stairs.

"He called really late but I thought you were asleep already so I told him you'd call him back today. He had a really gorgeous accent. Is he your new boyfriend? I bet he snogs like a maniac."

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

(My room)

Dithering about my room like a maniac. I have got to wear the perfect Sex Kitty outfit that oozes glamour and je ne se whatsit but without so much as saying "Look at me ! I'm a tart!" for when I call him.

And I can't bloody well call him when Mutti and Vati get home.

They might listen in.

And usually Masimo wants to do pretend snogging down the phone. I honestly feel like a bit of a prat doing it anyways, so I am especially not doing it in front of my Olds.

(4 Minutes Later)

I can't believe he called !

My Itallian Stallion boyfriend called !

And he talked to Mutti !

Oh,Baby Jesus pleasey please don't let her have used the word 'canoodling' when she talked to him last night...

Ditto snog !

OK must calm down...deep breaths..Ohmmmm...Ohmmm...

(23 Minutes Later)

This isn't working. I am still on the edge of a dither spaz and slowly working up the Losing It scale to a full blown-on Spazarama attack.

I feel like a bouncy ball all full of energy...or Brenda, the prisoner of whatsit in her own home.

Or like a squirrel that's had too many nuts and is about to implode, or...oh, you know what I mean !

I need to get out of the house before I go starkers.

(2 Minutes Later)

Now, what should I wear, as an offical girlfriend of a Luuurve God?

Skirt or jeans?

Ohhh no,I am not going down that road again.

Jeans.

And that is it.

(2 Minutes Later)

No, skirt, it's quite hot out.

(5 Minutes Later)

But what if I bump into the Ace Gang and we go for cappus? It's always cold in Costa's.

So jeans then.

(24 Minutes Later)

Decided on skirt, because a) it's hot out and 2) I caught sight of my legs in the loo and they look like they've been rolled in powdered sugar, they are so white.

My legs,I mean,not the loo.

At any rate,I put on my short denim skirt and white cami top, with a white head band and my hair in a little ponytail,and black strappy wedge sandals.

Tres sportif.

(2 Seconds Later)

Sunglasses?

Yes, I think so.

(Main Street)

Cor, boiling out.

And bright.

Good thing I thought to wear my sunglasses.

(Main Street)

Now what?

I don't see anyone one in town.

Maybe they are all tuckered out from Campo Fiasco, like I am.

(10 Minutes Later)

Went to Jas' but she was out.

(58 Minutes Later)

Ditto Jools and Rosie.

In a fit of desperationosity I even went round to Ellen's but she was out,too.

(4 Minutes Later)

Where can they be? I am in a time of need...so why aren't they at home being good mates, there for me when I need them the mostest ?

Some mates they are.

(14 Minutes Later)

Have they gone out for a group snog with their boyfriends, and didn't tell me because my pop-tastic GORGEY Italian boyfriend is abroad?

(1 Minute Later)

Maybe they felt sorry for me, poor Georgia, finally got a snogtastic boyfriend and he's gone and left her for Pizza-agogo Land where all the girls eat pizza without choking and look like models and don't have mad parents or barmy mates?

(2 Minutes Later)

I'm really depressed now.

I might as well go back home.

(Home)

When I got in everyone was out but at least they left a note this time:

"Gone for supplies for your Dad's trip then to visit your Grandad,so you'll have to make your own tea.

Angus chewed up your duvet so you're going to have to borrow one from Liberty's room.

xoxo

Mum"

Lovely.

Even my family has gone and left me.

(2 Minutes Later)

But hey -hey ...now I can ring my Italian boyfriend...who,did I happen to mention, is a Luuurve God?

(My Room)

Now, what do I wear?

Jeans or skirt?

(3 Minutes Later)

Ohhhh, no, I am NOT going through that again...skirt.

(18 Minutes Later,In My Closet)

I can't find a bloody thing to go with my pink frilly skirt and Mutti and Vati will be back in only...like 5 hours !

(2 Minutes Later)

I may have to switch to jeans after all.

(45 Minutes Later)

Ok, went for skinny jeans, white strappy top, black boots, and my wide black belt.

Are boy entrancers OK or is that going to far?

(3 Minutes Later)

Last time I wore them I had a tres embarrassing incident involving Rolf Harris and dancing...mainly to dancing to Rolf Harris.

In front of the (original) Sex God.

So I think not.

(Downstairs)

My hands are shaking I am sooooo nervy.

What if he can't understand me and thinks I want to break up?

What if I can't understand him?

(2 Seconds Later)

What if I go into a mad laughing fit and I can't stop?

Like when we were trying to understand the molecular structure of atoms and how they vibrate. Herr Kamyer was just illustrating his point with the aid of a tea towel and some billiard balls on his desk when I thought of a good joke. I asked , "Sir what part does the tea towel play in the molecualr structure?" And that's when he made his fatal mistake. "Ach no ,I use it to keep my balls still."

(2 Minutes Later)

Or during Peter Pan practise Wet Lindsay crashed over into the sanitary pad dispenser.

(3 Minutes Later)

The Hills are alive with the sound of pants,ahahaha

See, right now I am sitting here all alone laughing and no one else is around.

This is the second time in 2 days I think I am very well slipping off into the Twilight Land of the Mad.

Next thing you know I will be donning a codpiece and become a Baldy-O-Gram.

(3 Seconds Later)

Ermmm...maybe not the last bit...

At any rate, time is wasting and no man is an island and well, Mutti and Vati will be home sooon.

(Hallway)

I'm glad I passed on the Boy Entrancer's. Gordy was lurking at the top of the stairs and if I'd not seen him in time Id've fallen arse-over-nung-nunga down the stair.

Ok, this is it, I'm calling Masimo.

Deep, big breaths (LEAVE IT)...

12 Seconds Later

Ring ring, ring ring.

Funny ring they've got, like it's a foreign country or something.

"Ciao?"

I slammed down the phone. Oh my God I just hung up on Masimo.

Now what ?

And I didn't even dial 4-1-1- .

Merde and poo.

I need a soothing snack.

(Kitchen)

Making myself a jammy dodgy and milky pops when the phone rang.

As I picked up the receiver Angus darted out from hiding and savaged my ankle .

'Bloody bollocking furry menace!"

"Er, ciao, is Georgia there, pliss?"

OHMYGOD IT'S MASIMO

Is my makeup ok?

Did quick-check in the hallway mirror.

I look okay given Angus is still attached to my ankle like a furry leech.

Dragged him back to the phone.

"Hello, yes, this is her."

Why do I sound so formal?

Stopbeingformal !

"Ciao ! It is I!"

"Yes, and this is me.I mean-"

He laughed "I love when you talk. I miss are you having the missing me?"

"Is the pope a vicar?"

"Ermm...no."

And I started laughing only it was not normal laughing, it was mad heggy-heggy-ho Libby laughing.

And I couldn't stop.

OHMYGOD OR BUDDHA or whatever pleaseeeeyplease don't let me mess this up !

Or at least please let Masimo have dropped the phone or something.

Finally I got a grip on myself ...I wish Masimo had a grip on me...phwoar.

Masimo chuckled "I see you have the missing me too."

Oh dear God did I say that outloud?

"Did you have fun camping?"

"Yes well, Herr Kamyer saw Miss Wilson in the nuddy pants and I fell in a river."

Masimo said "You are fun girl. Do you want to have fun when I am back?"

Oooooooooh !

You can say that again Mister!

I didn't say that,though.

I was flipping through my head of something semi-intelligent to say when in the Saint Nick of time Mutti,Vati and Libby came through the front door.

I said into the phone 'Yes, well, that would be fabby with knobs on. Shall I come round then?"

"Che...ok, I be back the 12th, and we have fun then, yes?"

Mutti was looking at me .
GOawaystoplooking !

I did fake laughy "Yes, fab,s'laters"

And put the phone down.

Mutti said "Who was that?"

I said 'Wrong number" and ran to my room before she could say anything else.

She is so suspicious!

(My Room)

I can't believe I actually said "s'laters" to Masimo.

He must really think I am a twit of the first waters for sure, now.

Merdeeeeeeeeeeeeee !

(Midnight,Bed)

On the bright side, he'll be back long after Vati's left so I'll only have Mutti do deal with.

(1am)

I still can't believe I said "S'laters" to Masimo.

(45 Minutes Later)

I can't believe I did something so weedy.

(2 Minutes)

"s'laters"

Oh,Goddddddddddd !

(Monday,August 2nd)

(Bed,10pm)

Had an especially special meeting of the Ace Gang at the park.

I wanted to meet at Costa's but the Barmy Army was holding footie practise at the park.

I said to them "What about all for one, and one for all and one for each of us and so on?" but they were too busy tarting up to pay me any mind.

I even went out without any makeup on,that is how upset I was.

(3 Minutes Later)

Ok, I did put on a bit on concealer,bronzer,eyeliner,mascara and lippy but only for the principle of if it -I didn't really put my whole heart into it.

I said 'Ok, now, for official Ace Gang business."

Rosie said 'Aren't we going to say the Ace Gang motto?"
"Ok, yes, fine, all for one and one for all and one for each us,pip , back to the facts du jour-"

"What about the Ace Gang huddly duddly?" Rosie asked.

Ellen said "I quite like it actually."

Oh dear Buddha we're going be here all night.

(19 LONG minutes Later)

As everyone sat back down I said 'OK is everyone quite done?"

They all did mad nodding.

"Ok,down to offical Ace Gang ace business..I talked to Masimo last night. Actually, he rang me the night we got back from the Camping Fiasco but Mutti was too selfish to give me the message untill yesterday."

Jools said 'Oooh what did he say?"

'Not much only that he misses me loads and when he gets back he wants to have fun."

They all went "OOhhh!"

Rosie said "You know what that means, right?"

"That what means?"

I turned the Laugh was walking up. His hair was damp and sort of curly on the ends.

Hm... it doesn't look too bad.

"Nothing and it's none of your business."

Ellen got red and jumped up and ran too the loos like she had a pooey emergency.

Huh.

But back to the matter at foot.

Dave smiled at me "It's bound to be something rudey-dudey then."

I felt my self go beet root.

"Did you -erm, want something ?"
Jas said "Yes, do you WANT something Dave?" pointedly looking at me.

I am sooo going to KILL her.

She obviously knows something is up.

I want to know, how does she know and what does she know ?

Dave said to me "Yes,actually, I actually wanted to talk to Georgia,if that's ok with you I mean" .

OH MY GOD.

"Erm, yes, well ,why can't you just tell me now?"

I stared him down without even blinking.

I am NOT going off with him.

Everytime I do he starts this "What if you were meant for someone.." business then I fall over and we end up snogging.

Well, no more I say!
Dave flushed ."Erm,well, actually..."

Jas said "Yeah Dave what can you say to Georgia that you can't say to us?"

Dave hesitated, and looked like he was going to say something but instead muttered "Never mind. S'laters." and walked back to the footie pitch.

Huh. That was weird.

Rosie said "That was weird."

"You can say that again."

"That was weird."

I threw a clod of dirt at her.

Jas said "So what DID you two get up to anyways?"

I tried to play stupid (LEAVE it).

"Get up to? What -I mean-"

Jas said "I only meant where did you guys dissapear to the other night...why are acting so strange? And guilty?"

"Guilty? Me? Honestly Jas ,you are SO happened. We went for a walk and I fell in the river that is it."

"How did you fall in the river if you were just walking?"

"I erm, we were playing tig and I fell in the river."

Rosie put her face reallllly close to mine 'You were playing tig...and you fell in the river?"
"Yes yes and thrice yes, what is this the bloody Spanish Inquistion?"
Rosie said 'I will have to think about this"

I don't like that look in her eye...

(4 Minutes Later)

I was right.

She fished round in her rucky and pulled out a stripey beard, and a pipe.

She is being unbearble, asking me all these questions and sucking on her pipe.

"So...you were playing tig and you FELL in the river."

"Yes for the zillionth time."

"Hmmmm...and you expect us to believe that?"

"Yes"

"You are it has to be said, dimmer than you look."

Just in the nick of time Ellen came back all tarted up with her skirt rolled over.

She is sooooo sad, trailing after Dave like that.

Jas saw me looking "Don't you have something to TELL Ellen?"

I said "Oh yeah"

Jas looked gob struck, ha ha ha.

"So,Ellen, snogging updates?"

"Well, Rollo's mate and I went for a walk, and she he showed me things."

Rosie sucked on her pipe and winked "Yes, yes."

Ellen turned red "No,I mean his pocket knife. He gave me his number,and told me to bell him, but he only gave me a kiss on the cheek when he walked me back to my tent.

We all agreed she should play it cool, and wait 4 days, and if he doesn't ring her, she should sort of accidentally-on-purpose run into him.
"Oh, yeah he plays Snooker at Curbs every weekend. Maybe I could accidentally run into him there?"

We planned to meet up at Churchill Square and hang out there acting all cool and casual, coincedentally when Ed'll be coming home from snooker.

Easy-peasy.

Finally Jas remembered I was there.

"Oh, Georgia! What did you call this meeting for anyways? Something new to have a LAUGH about?"

She definetly knows. There is only one thing left to do...I have to EAT her.

I said with as much casualnosity as I could "I rang Masimo and he wants to go 'have fun' with me when he comes back."

Rosie said "Oooooh,Miss!"

"What am I going to do? What do you think he wants to do? I am literally having a nervy b."

(3 Hours Later,My Room)

Talked it over with the Ace Gang and we agreed that 'having fun' means going out clubbing or to the cinema probably and next time I talk to him I should suggest one of those things to make sure we are talking about the same thing.

I didn't get it at first,I said "Why would we need to do that?"

Jools said 'Well he IS a bit older than you..."

I said 'Yes well, so is Da-"

I nearly said Dave the Laugh.

Bloody Hell, why did I (almost) say that ?

Jas was looking at me rather close.

Oh,Hell, I am never going to hear the end of it.

I said "Well,erm, look at and Vati,I mean. He is a bit older than Mutti and look at them."

I thought for a bit. "Erm,maybe not. Look, what's your nub and gist?"

Rosie said it's like 'Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus' ,with the glacinosity and the three prongs and so on."

"You mean I need to exude maturosity but at the same time glacosity and grab life by the horn and so on, and ask him what he means next time he rings?" and they all did that mad nodding thing.

Right, that shouldn't be too hard.

(3 Minutes Later)

Too bad I get Stupid Brain whenever I talk to him.

(1 Minute Later)

Or was that with Robbie?

OH I DON'T KNOW

(Friday,August 6th)

Teatime

Today Vati got a map and showed us where he's going. He says that they say "Tenaystilign"for hello, and that Ethiopia is the place where the first human comes from.

I said to Mutti "So it's a family reunion then." and she gave me a Look.

I don't think Vati heard though. He kept rambling on.

''There's loads of wildlife there, like lions and hyenas and antelopes and so on. I will take a ton of pictures. "

"If a lion doesn't eat you first."

Vati said "Oh they are no problem as long as you keep your wits about you."

That is when Angus decided to drop on his head from the top of the curtains.

(Bed)

Locked in my room with Angus. Vati is threatening to turn him into a pair of furry slippers.

I'd like to see him try.

No phone call from Masimo yet.

Maybe he thinks I am going to call him, maybe it's an Italiano tradition to alternate who calls?

(10pm)

Something odd did happen,though.

I was looking moisturizing, toning, etc and happend to look out my window in time to see Dave the Laugh stop by my gate.

By by the time I'd rinsed my mask off and gone downstairs, he'd gone.

Huh.

Probably on his way to see his sad girlfriend, Emma, who does her homework.

And bakes.

(11pm,Bed)

Was drifting off to Bobo Land ...no easy task with Angus purring like a tank on your head...when Mutti called up "Georgia, are you awake still? Boyfriend!"

Dashed downstairs, pausing only to do fluffy hair and a quick daash of lippy, mascara and blonzer.

I said as cool as I could into the phone

"Ciao."

"Oh,er,Ciao, Georgia." It was Robbie.

"Hi Robbie, what's up?"

"Where you in bed already?"

"No you're fine (you can say that again,mate).What's up?"

"Ok well I can't chat long I was just wondering...do you maybe want to meet up Saturday,for coffes? Nothing to spaz over, just as mates."

"Sure, that sounds OK. 5 o'clock?"

"Yeah ok, well, see you."

'Bye'

"Bye'

And he rang off.

See, I can do glaciosity and maturosity with ex-snoggees.

Simple-pimple.

(3 Minutes Later)s

Now if only I can do it with my actual snogtastic boyfriend.

(12 Minutes Later)

I wonder what Robbie wants to talk about?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

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So, there you go, CHAPTER 2 !

Please review-let me know what you thought,ideas, suggestions, your favorite food, whatever !

As for my reviewers...

Courtz :Fanks !

duskenightmare: Oooer ! And here it comes (LEAVE it) !

:)