Chapter 2

She wakes up at 6.

"Shit." She whispers getting out of her bed to get changed.

(…)

"Where were you?" Ryan asks as soon as she steps in the precinct.

"Left my phone here." She walks over to her desk looking for it. "Any leads?"

"The finger prints don't match. It wasn't Castle." He says expecting a relief look from Kate but instead he gets a furious one.

"I know it wasn't Castle. I asked if there are any leads, not if our friend is a murderer." She tosses a pile of papers trying to find her phone that is nowhere to be seen.

"David Ruffalo." She stops moving and looks up to him. "He was charged back in 2001 for sexual aggression, that's all. We don't have any connections."

"Maybe he was hired."

"Yes, but why hire a sexual aggressor to murder?" She sighs.

"That's what we have to find out. Let's bring him in." She sits down on her chair. "Where is my fucking phone!" And it rings.

It's on the floor and Castle's smiling picture is on the screen. She leaves it there.

(...)

"Mother, I'm okay, everything is okay, you and Alexis can stay there as long as you please to." His head hurts. "No… I'm staying home…" He continues. "Please don't scream! No, I'm not in trouble, I just don't want to see her!" He sits up on his bed and rests his back against the headboard. "I'll call you tomorrow, bye."

(…)

It's 3p.m and he can't move his fingers. He can't force himself to write. He keeps re-reading what he wrote the night before. He wants to change the ending but he can't. If he did, it would become too real for him.

He gets up from his desk and approaches his bed. He lies down and tries not to think.

And then, someone knocks on the door.

He groans and gets up to open it.

"Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD, may I come in?" She flashes her badge.

He's really confused now. "What?"

"I'll take that as a yes." She steps in and he closes the door sending a look to the police officer that is standing right by it.

"What are you doing here?"

"You lied to me." She says getting serious. "You lied to the police, Castle. Obstruction of justice."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Yesterday." She sighs. "I asked you simple questions, back in the interrogation room. Questions, that you know you have to answer honestly."

"You're not being clear here, Beckett." He says gesturing with his hands. The door to his studio is open and she sees the now empty bottle of whiskey on his desk, by the laptop. He notices she's seen it so he gets in front of her. "Beckett. Please."

"You were 'fucking' her." She looks at him now. "I asked 'Were you sleeping with her?' simple question, and you said 'Nooo.'" By now Castle is looking up to the ceiling regretting every drop of whiskey he consumed the night before. "I didn't mention it to anybody. But Castle, I trusted you." He comes back to her gaze again. "I had to pick up the phone at 1a.m to hear a drunk Richard Castle admitting to have been having sexual intercourse with the victim." She looks away for a second. "And this is Detective Beckett talking. I—"

"I was talking with Kate." He interrupts her. "I wasn't talking with the detective last night. I'm sorry. I didn't do it, and you know I'm telling the truth when I say I didn't kill her."

"Yeah, now I know." She shakes her head.

"What do you mean?"

"Finger prints aren't a match. We got a suspect."

"What—What do you mean 'now I know'? You weren't sure?" He steps away. "Beckett, did you really think I could kill someone?"

"No, Castle, I—"

"You what." He can't believe it. "You what?"

"I had to make sure." She says. "I tend to put my heart before my job, Castle." He stays silent for a moment and then shakes his head looking down in disappointment.

"Look, I was going to go to bed before you came so… You can stay here, or you can leave, don't fucking care anymore…" He turns around and walks towards his bedroom.

"It's not even 5p.m." She says out loud.

"I know. But I can't get out of this loft so…"

"You could write." He turns around at that response.

"You don't get to tell me what I can or cannot do." He turns around again, after turning one last time. "Oh and by the way, I think I need… a new muse. So don't expect me coming back to the precinct any time soon." And he closes his bedroom door behind him.

(…)

That hurt. That hurt so bad she can feel her throat tightening. She's going to cry.

She parks her car when she hears the police sirens behind her. She didn't know where she was going but she knows she was going fast. Too fast.

"Roll down your window, please." The police officer looks down at her and when she does what she's told, "Detective Kate Beckett." He recognizes her. "Long time no see."

"Holden." She says nonchalant.

"Last time we saw each other was like three months ago, right? I stopped you for speeding." He flashed his beautiful perfect white teeth smile at her. "And here we are again."

"Look Holden, I don't have time for this. I will pay whatever I have to pay."

"A date. That's all I'm asking." He says putting a hand on the top of her car for support.

"No."

"Kate, I have friends, I know you and Demming broke up months ago. Come on, you gotta get back in the game." She sarcastically smiles at him and turns to the steering wheel.

"Send the ticket to my address."

"I don't have your address."

"You're a cop. Find out." She winks at him in a not very flirtatious way and backs up to drive away. Running away from her problems. Like always.

(…)

Run. Don't look back. Step by step. Walk away. You have to walk away from that feeling. That horrible feeling that makes you want to jump from the top of a building. You have to forget that you are human. You have to control your mind. Control your mind. Don't think about—

"Her." He whispers answering himself. He brought his laptop to his bed. He has cookies and wine on his night stand. He isn't planning on getting out any time soon. It's 3 in the morning and he doesn't care. He can't stop thinking about her. He needs to apologize. He crossed the line. He needs her. And he's damn sure she needs him. They're partners.

He closes his laptop and closes his eyes.

He wakes up to the sound of the entrance door opening.

"Alexis?" He asks expecting his daughter to answer.

"No. Officer Hastings. Sorry." The officer suddenly appears in front of him.

"Wha—" Castle sits up on his bed. "Hey! Invasion of privacy! What the hell are you doing?"

"No, no, no, sorry Mr. Castle." The officer apologizes. "It's just that it is already 4 p.m and you weren't answering to the knocks on the door. I just came here to tell you that you can leave. You're cleared. We already sent Officer Depree home." He stops for a brief second to read Castle's facial expressions. "The officer that was standing by your door, Castle."

"Oh okay, okay, thank you officer." He smiles.

"Okay, have a good evening. Or night." He closes the door behind him and Castle hears the entrance door opening and closing.

He checks his phone. 5 missing calls. 2 from Mother, 1 from Alexis and 1 from Beckett.

He takes care of Alexis and Martha's phone call just by texting them that he's okay. Then, he's trapped in his thoughts once again.

He calls her.

"Listen Castle, you are a little bit late but you can still come to the precinct. We need to talk."

"Is it about Sabrina?"

"Yes."

"Give me 15 minutes." And he hangs up to get dressed.

(…)

"And that's all he cares about? I mean, yesterday he tells me that he doesn't want me as his muse anymore and today I call him telling him that we need to talk and he has the balls to ask if it's about Sabrina." She walks from side to side in front of a dead body. Lanie listening carefully to her words.

"His friend died, Kate. He's a little bit sensitive, that's all. You have to under—"

"No!" She faces her friend. "No, he basically fired me, Lanie." Her friend looks at her and doesn't say anything. Beckett looks at her watch. "I have to go. He should be here already." She turns to the door and leaves.

She sees him in front of the murder board. She knew he would read it.

"Castle." She calls his attention. "Don't." She approaches him stopping when her back is facing the murder board.

"What do you mean boyfriend." He asks her.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." She looks around. "Let's go to the break room."

"No." He quickly answers. He shakes his hands in front of him. "N—no, no, she didn't have a boyfriend. If she did, I would know."

She answers smoothly. "They were living together."

"What? Where?"

"Let's go to the break room. Please." She takes his arm and leads him to the break room where she closes the door. "The apartment that she was inviting you over wasn't hers."

"How can I help." He says after a second. "Tell me how can I help."

"Castle, you're not in the case. You know you can't be in the case."

"Is this because of yesterday?" He challenges.

"What?" She steps forward, her body inches apart from touching his. "Really, Castle?"

"I said I—"

"I know exactly what you fucking said, Rick." She says pointing at his chest. "I don't want you in this case because you always mess everything up. You mess me up!"

"I can help! I—"

"No! You don't get it Castle! I'm the cop. You're the writer. You think you are as powerful as I am but you're not. I made you believe you can make decisions here when you freaking can't! It doesn't work like this." He looks at her in the eyes, waiting for her to say something else.

"Did you call me just to see my reaction to Sabrina's 'boyfriend'?"

"I called you because I told you I would get you updated if anything came up. Well, this came up, I kept my promise and now I'm regretting it."

"What do you regret?" He asks. "Meeting me?" He pauses. They're too close. Too mad at each other and too close to each other. "Getting to know me? I'm your partner, I'm—"

"Did you know about Daniel, Castle?" She interrupts him. He doesn't answer. "Rick, answer this simple question. Did you or did you not know about Daniel." He stays quiet. "He's dead." She breathes out and looks down. "Castle, if you know something about this… and you don't tell me… I can't help you." She looks up again. She sees fear in his eyes, she can almost hear the sound of his heart beating, there's something going on that she can't figure out just by looking at him. "I trust you. Whatever you say. I will believe you. So please, be honest with me. Don't lie to me, Castle."