Updated 02/22/16


Chapter Two

One Year Ago

I run. Faster and faster, sweat falling down my face. I wipe it away from my eyes, blinking to prevent the droplets from falling into my eyes. I feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins, the burst of energy fulfilling my crave.

My mood came crashing down when I was interrupted. I could no longer enjoy the bliss of pumping my legs, going further and further into oblivion. I slowed down enough to allow Lissa to catch up to me.

"Rose," she gasped. "Slow down."

I come to a halt, mentally giving her the finger for ruining my moment of peace.

"Rose," she says again. Making her way in front of me. It was clear that she was pissed off. Her hands placed on her hips, her lips pierced, her eyes in slits. "Why have you been ignoring my calls?"

"Last time I checked, you weren't my mother." The wall crashed down, surrounding me with emotions that weren't mine. I could feel the pain that I was putting her through, and right away I regretted my words. But she made me so angry. I've become so good at building a stronger wall against the bond, but sometimes there's a slight crack, and that crack pulls me right in. Last time it happened, Lissa was with Dimitri. They were only talking, but it's clear that they have some kind of friendship going on. She just doesn't understand. Besides, I don't need her pity. I don't want her to look at me as a weak broken-hearted little girl who can't get over a few shared kisses.

It was more than a few "shared kisses", Rose. I knew my sub-conscious was right, but I need to learn to make it true. If I don't, I'm not sure if I'll ever get past this.

I looked Lissa in the eyes, making my decision final. In order to protect her, she cannot be in my life. I'll bring her down, just like I have with everyone else in my life.

"I have to go," I say, turning around before she sees the tears spill from my eyes.

"Please." Her voice cracks. I bit my lip, giving myself the courage to do what I had to do.

"What do you want?" I snap, hand on hip. Shock was evident in her expression, she even took a step back.

"I-I . . . Rose, I don't know what I did to make you hate me so much . . ." the tears welled in her eyes. "You're so stuck up on Dimitri, that you've completely lost who you are. Where's my best friend, Rose?"

"She's gone, Lissa. And she's not coming back." I had to say it. To protect her. Lissa's face transformed, she was almost a stranger in my eyes.

"Fine. If that's how you're going to be," she starts, "then I'll just let you know how I've always felt. I used to put you on a pedestal, Rose. Not anymore. I see who you really are. You're nothing but a coward, and a b*tch. Treating your friends the way you do . . . god, treating your mentor the way you did? I mean, who does that?"

She jabs me with her finger, almost spitting every word at me. "You're nothing but a goddamn whore."

I couldn't breath. I stepped back, holding in the tears until I escaped from this creature of whom I used to refer to as my best friend. I ran until I found myself repeatedly banging on Adrian's apartment door. He opened up his door, immediately embracing me with his warmth, he took me into his apartment, petting my hair until I was calm enough to speak.

"What did he do?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Lissa," I say, and I tell him everything. The one person whom I thought would always understand, for the first time in our life, did not. She abandoned me. Left me during one of the most fragile moments of my life. I somehow found the strength to breath, and that's all I did, for the rest of the night.

I awake to find myself laying next to a sleeping Adrian. I sit up, letting my head fall on my knees. I can't do this. I can't live a life where I'm constantly in a daze, waiting for the next disappointment, and then collapsing into the arms of Adrian. It's not fair to use him like this, it's not fair to myself. I creep out of bed, giving Adrian one last kiss on the forehead. I start to close the bedroom door, when Adrian speaks.

"Where you going, Little Dhampir?" I close my eyes, silently cursing to myself. "Come take a seat."

I do as told, and sit next to Adrian.

"I have something to tell you." His eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"It's so early, can't it wait?" he asks, but I shake my head no. He sighs, but accepts it.

"Adrian, I hate to do this to you . . . I really do, but I can't continue to allow you to waste your life on me."

He chuckles under his breath, as though what I said was truly funny. "Little dhampir, you could never be a waste of a life."

"Adrian. You need to stop this. Stop treating me like I'm so perfect, because I'm not. I make mistakes, I've made so many mistakes. I can't keep on doing this to you-leading you on. It's just not fair."

"Obviously, we all make mistakes, but that's why I love you-"

"Adrian, stop. Just stop trying to make me feel better." I could tell I was hurting him, just like I hurt everyone else in my life. But it was necessary in order to make him let me go.

"Rose, you know I'll wait as long as I have to."

"And that's just it! I don't want you to wait. I want you to live a long and happy life with someone who will love you with the same intensity of love that you have shown me."

"What are you trying to say?" I knew that he knew exactly what I was telling him. I gave him a sad smile before giving him one last kiss on the cheek.

"I really do love you, Adrian."

"Just not enough," he whispers, head hanging low.

"I'm sorry." I touch his face, gently moving my fingers along his stubble. He closes his eyes, leaning his head into my touch.

"Goodbye, Adrian," I say for the last time.

One year later

"Arrival to Baia in thirty minutes," speaks some lady through the intercom. I'm not sure whether to feel excited, or afraid. I remember the last time I visited the Belikova's. I left without a single goodbye. I couldn't face them any longer, not when I knew I was setting myself on a journey to kill the love of my life, and their only son and brother. I don't know why I've chosen to go to Russia. I could have easily made a life in New York, or London, or Paris, or any one of the other magical places I've visited since I've left the Royal Court. But here I am, getting off of a train in Dimitri's home town.

"Hello miss," says a man inside of a bright yellow taxi. "Do you need a ride somewhere?"

"How'd you know I was American?" I ask him.

"I could tell by that smile of yours." He laughs, then shakes his head. "Naw, you didn't respond when I first tried talking to you in Russian."

His accent was thick, it was hard to understand him, but I laughed anyways, getting into the taxi.

"So, where are you heading?"

I let him know, and soon, there I was, standing in front of the Belikova's house with a luggage bag.

"Hey, you okay, miss?" The man asks me, poking his head out of the cars window. I looked at him, confused, until I realized I was shaking. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath.

"Just nervous, that's all."

"Well, you shouldn't be nervous. The Belikova's are great people!" I look over at him, shocked that he knew who they were. "Ahh, I should've mentioned. I went to school with Sonya when we were young, feisty little girl, if I remember correctly."

I give him a smile, thanking him for trying to calm me down. I hand him the money, and then get out of the car, bracing myself for what is next. I walk up to the door, knocking very softly. I waited a few seconds, until I decided nobody was home. I gather my things, and turn around, only to discover my taxi was no longer in the driveway.

How do I escape now?

"Rose?" I hear a female's voice. I turn around to find a crying Viktoria. "Rose, I missed you so much." She pulls me into a hug. We stay like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each others company. I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

"I'm sorry. I was so mean to you . . . I didn't realize it would make you leave," she says, shaking her head in shame.

"That's not why I left," I say, holding her shoulders. "Don't ever think I left because of you."

"I should've listened to you, though, Rose." She looks away from me. "You were right about Rolan."

I tense up, immediately assuming the worst. "What did he do to you?"

"Nothing, nothing," she says too quickly, waving her hands. "Anyway, why did you leave, then?"

I decided to let the topic go, clearly she didn't feel like talking about it. I hated talking about Dimitri, it was the least thing I wanted to do. Then why did you decide to visit his family? Knowing that it was the right thing to do, I told her everything, well almost everything. Somethings I wanted to keep secret. I told her about how I decided to hunt him down, and how I miserably failed and returned back to Court, but I left the part of him becoming dhampir out. That is something I had to tell the entire family together.

I sat in the living room, surrounded by Dimitri's family. They all looked so much like him, specifically Paul. He was like a little clone. I closed my eyes, concentrating on each in take of breath.

"I have to tell you something," I say, slowly.

"Yeah, figured." Karolina snuffs, rolling her eyes. It was obvious she didn't really like me much.

"Karolina!" Olena snaps, giving her a sharp glare.

"No, its fine," I say, nervously playing with my hands. I realize something significantly before I tell them. They probably already know. I've made such a big deal out of trying to tell them that Dimitri is alive and well, when he's probably already called to let them know.

"You guys probably already know," I start. "But I'm just going to get to the point. I just want to apologize about last year . . . it was a really tough time for me, especially with the whole Dimitri turning back into a dhampir thing, but I hope you guys don't hate me."

Silence. Nothing but the buzzing sound of electricity flowing within the walls. I finally lift my eyes from my hands, only to see every looking at me, in shock. What did I say?

"Uh . . . if you guys really hate me that much, I'll just go call a taxi . . ." I get up from my chair, picking my luggage bag off of the ground.

"No, wait," I hear Olena say. "What did you say?"

"I said I'm sorry . . ."

"No. After that—about Dimitri." It looked as though she was in pain, I could see tears forming in those big brown eyes of hers. Did they not know? How could they have not known? Dimitri became a dhampir again just over a year ago.

"You're lying," Sonya accuses, shooting me a hard and firm glare, whilst cradling a baby.

"God, why'd you even come back, to cause us all pain again?" Karolina shouts, standing up from her seat. I froze, not knowing what else to tell them.

"She speaks the truth," Yeva says for the first time, analyzing my face. She slowly walks over to me, pulling me into a hug, murmuring things in Russian. The Belikova's were all crying, in both shock and joy, I think. I've never felt so lonely though. Somehow, telling his family about his survival made me feel more broken inside than ever before. Perhaps its because I'm in a room full of people I know he loves deeply, a room full of people he would do everything in his power to protect. But I'm not one of those people, not anymore.

A little while later, Viktoria shows me to my room—or Dimitri's room, I should say. I place my items on the floor, getting comfy on his—my bed. The door opens a crack, revealing Yeva.

"I came here to thank you," she says, a smile on her face. "I know its hard for you, but you two will get past this. He's gone down the wrong path, you know. He's supposed to be with you."

I'm not so sure about that. I question Yeva's credibility sometimes. I think she trusts her personal opinions over her intuition too often. Dimitri and I aren't meant to be. We never were meant to be.

"I really am glad you're back, Roza." That name made me freeze. "Don't go running off on us again."

"I promise," I say, giving her a lopsided smile. Yeva is like the grandmother I never got to have. She was about to leave, when she quickly changed her mind.

"He'll be coming home for Christmas." I nod my head in response, thankful that she was letting me know. Now I can start planning my escape.


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