Shane had to fight with his feelings, and he hated it.
It was the only thing that he could do to protect her from the kind of man he is. Or the man that everybody thought he was. Dangerous, reckless, and insane.
He couldn't love a girl like Beth…Beth, to everyone else, was just a child. And it hurt him to break her when he knew that she clearly had feelings for him too. At least to him, he thought she liked him back. Only he and Rick knew, and when he first suspected and hoped that she liked him he had to tell Rick. He didn't have anyone else to talk to about it. He saw the way her eyes watched him whenever she thought he wasn't noticing her. And every day it was just getting harder and harder for him to resist her. He couldn't let his selfish feelings for her sabotage the one chance his group stood at survival at the Green farm. Their group for once felt safe and he wasn't going to be the one to ruin their chance at a happiness. He couldn't be that selfish, even though it hurt. It took everything in him not to run back to Beth and take back what he said and take her into her arms like the girl…no woman she was. But she deserved better than him, a better guy that wasn't as fucked up as he was. Shane was a tough guy, a guy that never cried over nothing but when he took his own chance of happiness away with just those words it broke him.
He never hated himself more than he did when he walked away from that barn, he put his fist into his mouth as he tried not to scream his anger away. Instead, he kicked a nearby haystack watching in satisfaction as the pieces of hay went flying in scattered directions. At the corner of his eye, he noticed his best friend Rick walk towards making him instantly straighten and compose himself. He kept his jaw locked and his fists balled up tightly against his sides. "You did the right thing Shane. You know that no good can come out of you and Beth. And you know why a relationship like that can't work, you know how her pa is." Rick stated making Shane snort.
"She ain't a little girl. Beth is a woman and she can make her own decisions." Shane muttered as he fought the rising short temper that was threatening to bubble over. "You're right, she's 17. But to Hershel, she is still his baby girl. I'm glad you came to your senses and stopped things before they escalated. The group needs stability Shane. We haven't felt this safe in a long time." Shane gave Rick a curt nod. He knew that alright, but what Rick didn't know was how much Shane felt at home whenever his eyes laid on Beth. He was the one light to his darkness that he could never reach.
"Yeah."
"We have to stay on the farm as long as we can, and the only thing we can do to give our thanks to Hershel is by going on these runs for him and getting him things that he and his family needs. It's a way of giving thanks." Shane nodded as he tried to hold his tongue from saying something that he might regret earlier. Rick sighed as he noticed how his friend was struggling to cope with his newfound feelings. Shane was never the type to settle down with one girl until he met Beth. Beth could be good for him he thought. He was happy that his best friend was able to find love, but not at a place like this and not with a girl like that. She wasn't even close to his age.
"Maybe…when she's 18, Hershel might consider your feelings for her. But now really isn't the time Shane. You did the right thing."
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Let's go." He muttered under his breath as he adjusted his belt and walked past Rick. Rick sighed behind him and eventually caught up to him. As they approached their small camp for lunch his eyes shot up when a familiar soft voice spoke to the group. His heart was hammering hard in his rib cage and it was pounding so loud that he could hear it in his ears. He had never felt anything like this towards anybody before and it was scaring him but exciting him at the same time.
She was so beautiful. He couldn't help but notice the way her blonde hair danced over her shoulder when the wind blew past it. He couldn't help but tense up when her smell hit his nose.
Beth was passing around glasses of homemade lemonade for the group even when her daddy told her to stay away from them.
She was just as brave as she was beautiful. Even when she didn't think she was.
He noticed how nervous she looked when Beth caught him staring at her. Before, Shane would look away because he didn't want to draw any attention to himself. But now, he just didn't care. He couldn't bring himself to care. He watched as his little bird slowly and shly walked towards him. Her hands were shaking, making his eyes soften and his face soften instantly. He didn't want to look intimidating to her.
"D-do you w-want some l-lemonade? I j-just made some." She said while letting out a shaky breath. Shane let a small smile touch his lips and he nodded, letting his face soften so he wouldn't scare her any more than she was. "Sure." He whispered as Beth blushed a small shade of pink while holding the tray of lemonade in one hand. And the other plastic cup in the other she held it out towards him and he took it from her gratefully.
She handed the other to Rick as they both downed it in one go.
"It's really good Beth." Shane muttered out, hoping that she wouldn't hear him.
She did though.
Beth tried not to beam to brightly when Shane liked her lemonade. She tried to still her heart beat, and her sweaty palms when he flashed her a handsome smile. It was rare to see him smile, he hardly ever does. Her mama did always say that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach and boy was she right. She was glad she took her advice and started passing out some of her homemade lemonade.
Beth was also a really good cook and baker, she also liked to sew and knit on her spare time. She didn't have many friends like her older sister, and she knew she wasn't nearly as pretty Maggie was or as confident. But she couldn't help the way she is. Beth is a shy person, and she doesn't know how to talk to guys she likes. She never liked a guy before until Shane, sure she had a small crush on Jimmy before, her best friend. But when she finally build up the guts to confess to Jimmy he kindly shot her down and told her he already had a girlfriend. They remained good friends for awhile until Zack came along. Zack at first showed interested in her, he was always trying to flirt with her and encourage her to go out on a date with her. But instead he was only using her to get closer to Maggie.
When Maggie found out about it, she tried to tell Beth in the most gentle way that she could but it still hurt Beth. And instantly shot her confidence down. She didn't know why but guys just tend to not like Beth very much and she couldn't blame them.
If she were more like Maggie maybe they would.
If Maggie were here right now, what would she do? Beth made some homemade blueberry pie earlier and she could probably ask Rick and Shane if they wanted some. If she asked them maybe it wouldn't look too weird. She felt a lump begin to form in her throat as she tried asking Shane if he wanted to try some of her pie.
"I-I made s-some blueberry pie earlier and I was wondering if you both wanted to t-try s-some?" Beth stuttered as clutched onto to the try she was holding. She hoped that by clutching it, it would make her hands stop shaking and her knees stop buckling. Why was she so nervous around Shane and not Daryl? The other day she was so comfortable with a strangely isolated, dirty looking guy who looked like he can crush her with his hands. But when she was in front of Shane, she choked.
"Sure Beth. Some pie sounds nice." Shane smiled at her again. "O-okay t-hen." She said only looking at him, and forgetting that she asked both Shane and Rick for pie. She began to turn around "I'll go g-et you a s-lice." Beth suddenly let out a sharp gasp of surprise when her foot landed on her long skirt. Making the try fall on the grass and the leftover glasses of lemonade spill on her body. She was about to fall over and instantly make a fool of herself, she closed her eyes and braced herself for the impact that never came.
"Beth!" Shane cried out as he caught her in his arms before she toppled over. She opened her eyes and knew she was drenched. Her eyes first found Shane's and she instantly felt the first wave of humiliation splash all over. "Are you okay!?" He asked. At first she couldn't move, or say anything but when her eyes darted over to the group they were all looking their way with concern and her eyes instantly started to water. She tried blinking her tears away and when Shane first saw them his protective instinct took over and he tried to help her from prying eyes. But apparently that made it worse, she shoved herself out of his arms and ran away from them stepping on the empty cups and forgetting about the tray that she left behind.
Beth had never felt so humiliated before, Shane saw her cry he saw her weak.
Beth ran around until her feet landed near one of the barns, away from everyone so that no one could hear her cry.
She sat down on one of the haystacks and put her face in her hands and started crying. Something that she did best after all. If that were Maggie in her place she'd laugh it off and thank him for saving her fall but she wasn't Maggie. She wasn't strong. When her sobs silenced a little, she heard someone above her clear their throat roughly. Stunned, when she thought she was alone Beth shot up from the haystack and wiped her tear stained face away. Forgetting about the pie that she promised the boys. Daryl Dixon stood leaning against the side of the barn with his bulging muscle arms crossed over his chest. His eyes narrowed down when he saw her tears on her face, he knew what made her cry and he thought it was damn pathetic.
"You done yet." He grunted, not showing any sign of pity towards her. It made Beth recoil as if she were burned. Her eyes narrowed down at him and she straightened up. She didn't answer him, she couldn't even look at him in the eyes properly.
He grunted again and shuffled towards her.
"I said…you done being a baby yet?" He taunted. That made Beth angry, forgetting the reason why she was sad in the first place as she glared at him.
"What's it to you anyways? You don't care about anything or anyone! Just leave me alone!" Beth cried out to him.
Good. Daryl thought, it was better to be angry then sad. This was the Beth he knew the blonde with fire in her from the previous day.
"It doesn't. Now get your ass up."
"I am up!"
"No you ain't, straighten up, get your hands into fists. What are you weak?" Beth was so angry that she wished that she were left alone. Why was Daryl taunting her right now? Did he like seeing her mad and sad? Was he getting back at her for interrupting him the other day? She felt like hitting something…she felt like hitting him!
"Go away, I'm not in the mood." She grunted.
"Ain't no one in the mood now are they? Why you cryin', why you bein' a baby? Shouldn't you go to your daddy and cry? That's what little girls do don't they? Cry!"
"None of your business! Bet you already saw like everyone else!" She screamed at him.
"Yeah, saw how y'all made a fool of yourself. Actin' like a little girl, runnin' away from her problems." Daryl taunted, he knew he was pushing her. Pushing her towards her breaking point, but that's was what he wanted. He saw that fire in her eyes again and he saw that small fist swing his way and he let her his face. He let her punch her, thinking that it wasn't gunna' hurt considering how small she was. But he underestimated Beth, she was small but she can surely pack in a good punch. Beth gasped again putting her hands to her mouth when he let out a small groan of pain. She felt a small throb in her hand from hitting it but she ignored it and when to him.
"I'm so sorry! Are you okay!?" She asked, a man like Daryl was really going to hurt her now. He wouldn't let her get pass this one. "I-I'm really really sorry! I just got so mad I didn't think!" Daryl put a hand to his cheek where she hit him and massaged it lightly. He let out a small chuckle when she started fussing over him.
"Not bad Greene. Not bad at all." Beth looked at him and her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "I-I don't know what you mean. I hurt you." She said, making him tsk at her dimwitted side.
"Your punch girl, I'm talkin' about your punch. You do got some muscle on you after all, you're not just a skinny little toothpick." Beth blushed furiously, nobody has ever complimented her before other than her parents. She didn't know what to say.
"But your reaction time is slow." She snapped out of it. "What?" Daryl sighed. "Don't put your thumb in your fist next time, you'll be most likely to break it, that's why it hurts right now don't it?" He suggested while looking down at her fist. Making her numbly nod her head.
"Your position is off too. Way off." He muttered. "Stand slightly to a side with your shoulders and legs apart keep them lightly bent." Beth was still confused.
"Come on now girl, get to it!" He barked. "l ain't got all damned day." Startled, Beth did as she was told, and when it wasn't up to his standards he kept fixing her position until it was.
"Am I fighting somebody?" She asked with even more confusion. He shook his head at her as if he was disappointed. "This won't do."
"What?" She asked him. "I'm doing as you say!"
"That skirt's too long." He muttered, making him bent down despite of her feeble protests, he tore of her skirt so that it up to her knees, he tossed the extra fabric to the side.
"That's better, you can fight better when your more comfortable."
"Daryl Dixon how dare you!"
"Get back into that stance now!" He demanded, making her instantly shut up and do as she told. "You is doin' it wrong again Greene!" He stood behind her and put his hands on her waist. No one has ever touched her so intimately before. "Why so stiff Green?" He breathed against her ear.
"Loosen up." He gave her waist a tiny squeeze making her gasp in offense. She instantly went to him, but he was faster this time and dodged her move. It was then that Beth finally realized what was going on.
"Come on Green. Let's dance."
He silently agreed to train her.
