CHAPTER 2

"...can't ask me to do that, please." Matt pleaded. "Mom, no. You have to tell them...I know, but...how am I supposed to do that?" With the phone still up to his ear, he closed the door to his office and sunk down in the chair behind his desk. "Mom, they plan to be down here this weekend. What am I supposed to say to them?"

He'd been having this argument with his mother for almost two months. She had been settled at her parents' house in Tempe for a nearly a month, after several weeks of treatment at the Tempe hospital. But she still refused to let him tell anyone the reason why, including her ex-husband or, more importantly, her youngest son. She had sworn Matt to secrecy, making him promise not to tell anyone. She had even insisted that he not mention her illness to Robin.

"Do you realize how hard this is for me?...Yes, I know that...I do understand, but...yes, I know I promised, but...fine, alright," he said, frustrated at his mother's continued stance. "But, Mom, you know I can't lie to Dad. I'll give him the basics, but if asks me point blank, I won't lie. I have never lied to either of you and I won't start now...yes..okay, I will...I took the weekend off so I can get everything packed...Yes, Mom...I love you, too."

He slowly dropped the phone back onto the desk and sighed. He rubbed his hands across his face. He knew the reasoning behind not wanting to tell everyone about her situation. But keeping his mother's secret was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. Especially with his father, who could read both of his sons like a book. Jesse Hawkes always knew when either of them was trying to hide something from him and would push until that son spilled everything.

Matt knew that he couldn't avoid his dad or his brother for long. In fact, he had heard from his father just the day before. Jesse had mentioned that it looked like he and Cody would be able to get to Tahoe in a few days. As usual, they had kept in contact via the radio over the winter and Matt always looked forward to seeing them in person. This time, however, would prove to be difficult.

A knock on the door caused him to look up. Robin slid through the door and closed it again behind her. She moved around to his side of the desk. He pushed his chair back and she settled on the desk in front of him, her long legs straddling his chair.

"So, how's your mom?" she asked, as he rolled his chair forward again and rested his head on her lap, wrapping his arms around her slender waist.

"She's doing okay, I guess."

"She still doesn't want you to say anything, does she?"

Matt shook his head. "I'm sorry, Robin. I really could use someone to talk to about this, but I promised her..."

"Shhh. It's okay, sweetheart. I know how much you value your word. It's not important that I know exactly what her treatments are for. As long as she's doing well."

"She's been through the hospital treatments. She at home with her parents now and they hired a private nurse to help her."

"Your mom is a lucky woman." Matt raised his head and looked at her inquiringly. "First, she has a great son," she said, smiling at him and kissing his lips. "Plus, her parents are well-off enough to help her with her medical expenses."

Matt nodded. "Yeah. I'm glad for that too. The treatments are pretty expensive. I talked to Grandpa about it a couple nights ago. You know Mom hasn't been able to work for quite a while. Grandpa put her back on his medical insurance. She's back to being his dependent again. Not sure she's too happy about that. She's been pretty independent since she was eighteen. But, right now, she's so sick, I guess she's just not up to arguing about it."

"Are you going out there to see her?'

"Yeah, end of the month. Although I would love to go this weekend. Dad and Cody are coming down day after tomorrow. I am not looking forward to them finding out Mom is gone."

He leaned back in his chair, moving his hands to rub up and down Robin's legs.

"Big, bad Ranger afraid of Daddy and little brother?" she teased.

He groaned. "At first, Mom wanted me to tell them that she went to Tempe just for a long visit. But now, she's decided to stay there. She's not coming back to Tahoe. She wants me to pack up her things and bring them out. She plans to sell the house."

"That's kind of sudden, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah. I have this awful feeling that she found out that her health is worse than they first thought and she just doesn't want to tell me," he replied softly, afraid if he said it too loudly, it would be true.

"Oh, Matt," Robin said, sliding off the desk to straddle his lap. He pulled her close, grateful for the care and warmth she was showing him.

"I'm gonna take some vacation time at the end of the month and drive out there. She took a lot of her clothes with her. She wants me to donate all of her winter clothes, since she won't be needing them anymore. The rest is knickknacks and photos. She's never been much of a pack rat. Guess that came from living in that tiny cabin in the mountains. I should be able to fit everything in the back of my truck."

"You want some company?"

"Thanks, I would love to have you come along. But, the station can't afford for both of us to be gone. It's liable to be busy with spring coming so early this year. But I am going to miss you."

He pulled her in for a long kiss before being interrupted by another knock on the door.

Robin slid off of his lap and moved to a chair.

"Come in," he called.

The door was opened and Izzy poked his head in. "Everybody decent?" he joked.

Robin laughed. "Why, looking for a peep show?"

He stammered. "Ah, ah, no. Ah, sorry. Ah, M-Matt, your Dad's on the radio."

"I'll be right there?" Matt said before Izzy quickly backed out of the room.

Matt stood up and walked over to where Robin sat. He placed his hands on the arms of the chair and leaned in to give her a kiss. "You're bad, woman. You're gonna give the poor guy a complex."

"I try my best," she smirked. "Give my love to Jesse."

He briefly closed his eyes and shook his head. "I feel like I'm walking on eggshells."

Robin grabbed his collar and pulled him closed, giving him a soft peck on the lips. "Go get 'em, Tiger. Don't let the big bad mountain man get the best of you."

"Easier said than done," he whined, pulling her out of her chair. "Shouldn't you be working on something?"

"I was...until Izzy interrupted us." She laughed and scooted away from his playful slap.

Matt walked out of his office and over to the radio, picking up the mic. He took a deep breath, then said, "Hey, Dad. You ready to quit playing in the snow...?"

/

Matt was just driving into the parking lot when he saw his father's old pickup heading that way from the other direction. He parked and climbed out of his vehicle, then waited until his father parked. He smiled as his little brother pushed open his door, barely waiting for the truck to stop.

"Matt!" The fifteen-year-old raced toward his brother. Matt braced as Cody launched himself at his big brother. Matt grunted from the impact, but welcomed the younger boy's arms around him.

"Damn, Toad, what has Dad been feeding you? You're a full foot taller than you were last time I saw you!"

"He may be as tall you by the time he's finished growing," Jesse remarked as he joined them. "How are you, Son?"

"I'm good, Dad," Matt replied, as he was pulled into a fatherly hug.

"Is your Mom here?"

"Ah, no. She's in Tempe visiting her folks."

"Tempe? Didn't she know we were coming?" Cody asked, hurt that his mother wouldn't be there to greet them.

"She's been gone for a couple of weeks, Code. She probably didn't think you guys would be down so soon this year."

Matt didn't look, but he could feel his father's gaze searing into him as he and Cody walked into the Ranger Station, Cody jabbering away about everything he'd seen or done over the winter.

Jesse followed his two sons inside, determined to get Matt alone to ask more about Jackie's trip. When he pushed through the door, his face lit up to see Cody surrounded by Matt's Rangers, in the middle of a group hug.

Then he found himself the center of attention as Robin released Cody and moved to embrace him.

"How is my daughter-to-be?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm fine, Jesse. It's so good to see the two of you!" she exclaimed. "I swear, Cody's grown two feet!"

"Not quite that much, but he has grown. Gonna be as tall as Matt some day," he repeated proudly.

"They must have got that from their mother's side of the family," Jim Cutler teased as he came over to shake Jesse's hand.

"Careful, boy. I know some things about you that you might not want your parents to know."

Cutler raised an eyebrow, then glanced over at Matt, before returning his gaze back to Jesse, who by then had a huge grin on his face.

"Ah, forget I said anything," he mumbled. "I ah, I have some chores to do. See ya later."

Cutler hurried from the room. Matt watched him leave, then shot an inquiring look at his father, who just grinned back. Jesse Hawkes grinning like that would make the devil nervous, much less his own kid. Matt didn't like his odds if his father zeroed in on him, and he was sure the man would. Matt calculated his chances of surviving the weekend intact. And they seemed awfully thin.

/

"So, Mathew, want to tell me what's going on with your mother?" Jesse asked later that night as he watched Cody finish washing the dinner dishes. Matt was putting away the leftovers and had his back to his father. They were staying at Jackie's house as usual when they were in town and Matt had decided to stay there as well, since Robin was on-call at the station that night.

Matt swallowed hard. Refusing to turn around, he asked, "What do you mean, Dad?"

"You know what I mean, son."

"She just went for a visit. Frankly, I think she was tired of the cold and just wanted to feel some hot sun on her face," he offered, putting the lid on a dish before sliding it into the fridge. "You want dessert?"

"No, I don't want dessert. What I want is answers," Jesse insisted.

Sensing an argument about to begin, Cody grabbed a towel from the counter and dried his hands, his gazed going back and forth between his father and brother. He could tell by Matt's tense shoulders that his brother didn't really want to be having this conversation. But Jesse Hawkes was not one to take 'no' for an answer.

"Answers?" Matt asked.

"Mathew, son, I know you're hiding something," Jesse insisted. "Is there some reason that your mom went to Tempe now? She usually waits until later in the spring."

Matt shrugged and quickly glanced at his father. Unable to keep eye contact, he turned around and grabbed a clean towel from the drawer and began drying the dishes Cody had washed.

"I don't know, Dad. She just said she felt like seeing her folks."

"Mathew..."

"Dad, look," Matt said, stacking the dishes as he dried them. "I can't tell you what I don't know." He mentally crossed his fingers, praying for forgiveness as he lied to his father.

"Do I have to call your mother myself?"

Matt opened the cupboard and put away a stack of plates, biting his lip. "If you think there was some other reason for her to visit, then you'll have to ask her yourself."

Jesse sighed heavily. "Fine. I'll do just that in the morning."

Matt nodded. "I think I'll hit the sack," he said. "Goodnight." He slipped the damp towel through the refrigerator handle and left the room.

Cody and Jesse both watched him walked down the hallway, then looked at each other, before Cody turned back to finish the dishes. Jesse lifted his mug and took another sip of coffee. He knew Matt was hiding something, but the boy was determined not to tell his father. Jesse was concerned about his ex. It was unlike her to just up and take off like that.

He hoped Matt was right and she just needed to get away to some warm weather. But Jesse was sure there was more to it than that.

His thoughts were interrupted when Cody sat down across the table from him, placing a chessboard between them, a silent invitation. Jesse smiled and nodded, watching his youngest pull out the chess pieces and set up the game.

/

The next morning, Matt left early, slipping out before sunrise, while Jesse and Cody were still asleep. He planned to keep himself busy all day and hoped to avoid his father as much as possible.

His plan worked until about noon. He was in his office, alone at the station. Just before noon, Izzy had poked his head in the door and offered to make a lunch run if Matt listened for the radio. Izzy had been gone about ten minutes when Matt was startled by the front door of the station being slammed open.

He jumped up and raced to the main room, skidding to a stop when he saw his angry father standing in the middle of the room.

Jesse Hawkes, for all of his smaller height, filled the room with his presence. Hands on hips, and eyes shooting fire, he aimed his anger straight at his oldest son. Matt flinched, a desire to run the opposite direction causing his knees to wobble.

"Son, you want to tell me again that you know nothing about why your mother left town?"

"I take it you spoke to Mom," he asked softly.

"No, I did not. But I did speak to your Grandfather. We had a nice long conversation."

"Oh," was all Matt could manage.

"Is that the best you can do, boy?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want to know why you lied to me." Jesse snarled. It had been a very long time since he had been this angry at his son. Since he'd been this angry at anyone! He purposely kept his distance, for fear he'd do something he'd never done before-strike one of his children.

Matt deflated and moved over to stand in front of the fireplace.

"I had no choice."

"There's always a choice, boy! And you made the wrong one this time!"

"I made a promise..."

"I don't care! You had no right to keep that information from me or your brother! Don't you think Cody has the right to know that his mother could be dying?!"

Matt closed his eyes in an effort to keep the tears from falling.

"Mom didn't..."

"Son, don't even go there," Jesse snarled. "Cody has the right to say goodbye to his Mother. And you don't have the right to deprive him of that opportunity!"

"Dad..." he began again.

Jesse raised a hand, silencing his son. "I have to go tell my youngest son that his mother is sick, maybe even dying, and that his older brother kept that information from both of us. Then I plan to pack up and fly to Tempe, so that Cody has the chance to see his mother before she dies." Jesse shook his head. "Mathew..." he paused, taking a deep breath. "Son, I don't think I have ever been so disappointed in you. I can't believe that you would keep this from me. You weren't raised that way."

Matt shot his father a bitter smile. "But I was, Dad. You and Mom both raised me to always keep my promises."

"You should never have made a promise like that."

"Do you have any idea how hard it's been on me to not say anything to you and Cody? How many times I begged Mom to let me tell you?"

"You'd better hope that your brother is more understanding that I am, because right now, I am very angry with you, Mathew."

"No kidding," Matt said, tremulously. "Dad, I wanted to tell you, but..."

"Then you should have! This is not the kind of thing you keep a secret, Mathew!"

"I promised Mom that I wouldn't tell anyone! You have to understand," Matt pleaded desperately.

"I don't understand, boy. I truly don't understand how you could have made such a promise."

"Dad, please..."

"No. This is unforgivable." Jesse shook his head, then turned on his heels and quickly stepped out of the room, leaving his eldest son in shock.

Matt tried to blink away the wetness in his eyes, only causing his tears to fall down his cheeks. With blurry vision, he watched his father walk away, never once looking back at his devastated son.

Then something his father said finally struck home. Dying. That's what he'd said. That his mother was dying. Was Jesse just assuming that because of the diagnosis of TB or had he learned something from Jackie's father that Matt hadn't been told yet? Matt turned and leaned against the mantel, lowering his head to his arms, panting.

He had to know and there was only one way to find out. He stood up and wiped his eyes, marching over to the desk. Picking up the phone, he began to dial the now-familiar number of his Grandparents' house in Tempe, Arizona. But before he could, Izzy walked back through the door, two styrofoam containers in his hand.

Matt put the receiver back on its base, promising himself to call from his office. If Izzy noticed the redness in Matt's eyes, he didn't say anything to his boss. Matt picked up his lunch and closed himself up in his office. Sitting behind his desk, he opened the container. Normally, take-out from the best Chinese food joint in town would have Matt salivating. But the argument with his father has stolen his appetite.

He closed the lid and shoved the container into the trash, hoping to keep the contents of his stomach from following his lunch into the bin. Distantly he heard the other Rangers returning, their voices carrying to his office, muffled by the closed door. As he reached for the phone, he was once again interrupted.

"Matt!" He looked up to find Izzy Flowers standing in his doorway. "Just got a call. There's a vehicle over the cliff near Camp Richardson. Highway Patrol is requesting our assistance."

Matt stood up and quickly followed Izzy back to the main room, where the other Rangers were gathering. "Robin, Jim, get started that way. It'll be dark soon and we need to get set up fast. Hart, you and I will bring the van and all the equipment. Frank, be ready in case we need the bird."

Like the well-oiled machine they were, the Rangers all headed out without a word, each knowing what was expected of them.

Once on scene, Robin and Jim traversed down to the vehicle. While Robin assessed the injuries, Cutler set up and got ready to accept the Stokes basket that the others sent down.

"Jim, I need a hand in here," Robin called.

Cutler slid into the vehicle. "Geez, it smells like a brewery in here," he remarked, wrinkling up his nose.

"Yeah, a six pack of empties are scattered all over the car. Guess we know why he went over the edge," Robin answered.

"You know what Jesse Hawkes says, Robin. Never assume."

"Yeah. All the same, I'll mentioned it to the Chippies, they can do a blood test when he gets to the hospital."

Cutler nodded as they carefully lifted the man onto a backboard, then slid him out of the vehicle and secured him in the basket. Pulling tight on the last strap, Robin called up to ask if the ambulance had arrived.

"That's affirmative, Frostbite, it just pulled up," Matt replied from the roadway up above.

"Copy. Might want to inform CHP that this might be a deuce."

"Will do. You ready to bring him up?"

"Stand by one." She reached down and adjusted the blanket, tucking it under the driver's left arm so it wouldn't catch on the rocks or brush. She double-checked the straps, then nodded to Jim while keying her mic again. "Ready to bring him up, Flying Tiger."

The Rangers up top began hauling in the rope, pulling the victim up, while Robin and Cutler climbed up alongside him, each keeping a hand on the stokes to steady it. Once they made the roadway, she checked him again before he was loaded into the waiting ambulance. Robin turned over his care to the Medic Unit Paramedics.

The others began collecting their equipment while Matt headed over to speak to the CHP officer on scene and advise him that it looked like the driver had been intoxicated. The officer thank him for the information, and the rescue, then asked if the Rangers would be able to assist in getting the vehicle hooked up for the tow driver.

Matt assigned Cutler and Hart to help out, then headed for the HMR Blazer. The others would return in the mobile van. As he pulled open the door of the truck, he heard someone call his name. Looking around, he saw a familiar face in the passenger window of a vehicle stopped on road, waiting for traffic to be allowed back through again.

He grinned. "Tommy! Well, hello."

"Hi, Matt. Mom, this is Matt Hawkes, the Ranger I was telling you about."

Matt crouched down next to Tommy's window and nodded at the driver. "Nice to meet you," he told the brunette behind the wheel.

"So, you're the man Tommy hasn't stopped talking about since last week!" she exclaimed. "You sure made an impression on him." She smiled and reached out to shake Matt's hand.

"He's a good kid. His teacher was telling me that you just moved here."

"That's right. We'd been living in Las Vegas, but decided we wanted to see something besides desert."

"Well, if you'd like to meet some more of the locals, we're having an Open House at the end of the month at the Ranger Station. We have a display from the Rangers, the Sheriff's Department and the local Fire Department, plus barbeque all day long. Everyone is welcome."

"Can we, Mom?!" Tommy asked eagerly.

"We'll see," she said. "I don't know what my schedule will be like yet."

Matt reached into his truck and pulled a small white card from the visor. "Here. That's the number and address of the station. Call for directions. If you have to work, Tommy can always stay at the station until you pick him up."

She took the card, but seemed hesitant about leaving her son with strangers. "We'll see." She glanced out the front window. "Looks like traffic's moving. We'd better go."

"Bye, Matt!"

"See ya, Tommy. Nice to meet you..."

"Sadie," she replied.

"Nice to meet you, Sadie. Hope you can make it."

He moved back from the car as she drove away, Tommy waving. Matt waved back then climbed into the truck.