A/N: Thanks for the response to the first chapter. I hope this next one lives up to expectations.
"Santa came! Santa came!" Noah shrieked as he bounded into Olivia's bedroom the next morning and hurled himself onto the bed.
"Oof!" groaned Rafael, as Noah landed on top of him.
Olivia rolled over in Rafael's embrace and gathered her son up in her arms. "Good morning my love,"
"Morning Momma! You have to get up. Santa came! There's presents everywhere!"
Rafael rubbed his hand over his face. "What time is it?" he mumbled sleepily.
Olivia craned her neck round to look at the clock on her nightstand. "Six-thirty," she sighed. So much for Rafael's idea that Noah would sleep in after attending Midnight Mass. They'd had four hours sleep if that. After getting home from Mass and putting Noah to bed, they'd played Santa; placing Noah's presents under the tree and in his stocking, eating the mince pie and drinking the whisky that the little boy had arranged on the plate with such care and attention. The two of them had then reconnected, making love on the sofa, in the soft glow of the tree lights, before retiring to bed.
Rafael's sleep-addled brain tried to reason with the excited five-year-old. "Noah, mijo, it's far too early. You already know Santa came so how about you snuggle up in here with me and Mami for a little bit. The presents will still be there in a couple of hours."
"I can't possibly sleep when there's presents to open Rafa!" declared Noah, wriggling out of Olivia's arms, jumping off the bed and running into the living room. "Come on!"
"Don't open anything until I get there!" Olivia called after him. She wondered if Rafael realised that he'd called Noah 'son' but before she could ask him, he rolled her onto her back and captured her lips with his own. Pulling back, he rested his forehead against hers and murmured against her lips. "Feliz Navidad, Liv."
Olivia cupped his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss. "Mmmm. Merry Christmas, Rafa."
They lay there for a few moments, cuddling and sharing soft kisses before Olivia pulled away. "As nice as this is, if we don't get out there soon, Noah will have opened all his presents and started on ours." She extricated herself from Rafael's arms and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Retrieving her robe from the back of the chair, she slipped into it and headed for the door. Sensing no movement behind her, she looked over her shoulder.
Rafael had shifted slightly, he was sat up, leaning back against the cushions, his arms behind his head. His hair was mussed from sleep and the covers bunched at his waist leaving his bare chest exposed. If there hadn't been an over-excited five-year-old in her living room she would have eagerly have crawled back into bed with him.
"Come on, Rafa," she coaxed, leaning against the doorframe, "don't you want to see what Santa brought you?"
His eyes shone brightly as he gazed lovingly at her. "I've already had my Christmas wish Liv, I woke up here with you this morning. Granted, I'd have preferred a more sedate wakeup call but-"
"Momma! Rafa! Hurry up!" Noah's impatient shout cut through Rafael's words.
Rafael laughed. "Duty calls." He got up and pulled on his favourite Harvard Law t-shirt, before following Olivia into the living room.
An hour later the three of them sat on the floor in front of the tree, surrounded by wrapping paper and ribbon, a sizeable collection of presents piling up on the sofa. Despite not having a family in the traditional sense of the word, Noah had been spoiled. There had been gifts from Olivia; a bike, the Hungry Hippos board game, a marble run, some Marvel action figures, a new set of colouring pencils, some clothes, chocolate coins and a few other bits. He also had presents from the squad, Lucy and her Mom and even one from his Uncle Simon. Olivia didn't see her brother that often, but they stayed in touch through emails and Facebook. There were a couple of stocking-fillers from Santa too but, outside of the ones from his mom, the majority of Noah's gifts had come from Rafael.
Olivia had told him that she was getting Noah a bike for Christmas, so he'd offered to buy him a helmet and she'd agreed. But Rafael hadn't stopped there. There were matching elbow and knee pads, gloves, a bell and a water bottle (and holder). He'd also bought him several items of clothing, including an adorable set of suspenders, which Noah had loved. "Look, Momma, me and Rafa will match!" he'd beamed. Added to that were some books and other toys, including the one Noah had declared as his favourite; a Lego City Police Station. "Now I can catch bad guys like Momma and Uncle Fin."
"You didn't have to spend so much," Olivia whispered, as Noah retrieved the rest of the presents from under the tree. "You didn't have to get him anything at all."
"It's nothing, Liv." She raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. She was a mother, she knew how expensive toys could be. "Okay," Rafael admitted, "I may have gotten a little carried away. I've never really had to buy for a kid before. Who knew there were so many toys?"
"A little carried away? That's the understatement of the year. Where he's going to put all this stuff, I do not know."
Rafael regarded Noah's pile of presents. "I would have ordered him a bigger toy box too, but I didn't see the point considering that in the Benson house they're merely decorative," he smirked.
Olivia merely rolled her eyes at his attempt at a joke. The truth was, she and Rafael hadn't done too badly either. She glanced at the two smaller piles of presents on the floor. Hers contained a lovely cashmere sweater from Rafael, along with a bottle of her favourite perfume which she had run out of just a few days before. Noah had bought her a DVD, a box of chocolates, and a new ornament for the Christmas tree. Simon had sent her a gift certificate for Amazon and she'd received several bottles of wine and toiletry sets from the squad. For Rafael, Noah had chosen a new wallet, whilst Olivia had bought him a briefcase to replace his current one, which had scuffed corners and a dodgy clasp, and a 12-year-old bottle of Macallan whisky. There was another, cheaper, bottle of scotch from Jack McCoy and new planner from Carmen, even though he relied heavily on her to keep him organised. His mother had sent him a new pen, some books, and her usual gift of fun, although sometimes garish, socks.
Now, there were only two presents left; the 'main' gifts that Olivia and Rafael were giving to each other.
Noah picked up the smallest one first. "This one says, 'To Liv, FR-O-M, from R-A-F-A, Rafa," he said, carefully reading the gift-tags. He handed it to his Mom.
Olivia held the gentle weight of the gift in her hands, hesitating only a moment before slipping her nail under the seam of the paper. She carefully peeled off the paper, finding a small black velvet box within. She looked up at Rafael who was watching her with eager anticipation. "Go ahead," he insisted with a nod of his head.
Olivia opened the hinged lid and gasped as she took in the contents. Nestled against the white silk lining of the box was a small gold open heart pendant, detailed with small diamonds. Gently, she lifted the delicate chain out of the box, allowing it to dangle from her fingers.
"That's pretty Momma," observed Noah, entranced by the heart-shaped pendant spinning at the bottom of the chain.
Olivia nodded. "It certainly is. It's beautiful. Thank you, Rafa." She held it out to him. "Will you put it on for me?"
Rafael reached for the necklace. He lifted it out of her hand. The pendant dangled between them and the diamonds sparkled in the light. Olivia turned and swept her hair out of the way. He had the clasp fastened within seconds. "Thank you."
"My pleasure," he replied as he laid the chain gently against her skin. Olivia shivered as his fingers brushed against the nape of her neck.
With the lightest of touches, he skimmed her shoulders and his hands travelled down her arms, eliciting more shivers. He leaned in close, so close she could feel his warm breath tickle her ear. "It's called a 'Captive Heart'," he whispered. "You've captured my heart Liv."
There was a wealth of emotion in his voice and she let it sweep over her. Love swelled within her. He'd captured her heart too before she'd even realised what was happening. His gift and the meaning behind it solidified the decision that she'd made last night. They needed to move forward. Together.
"The last one's for you Rafa." Noah indicated the gift tag on the final present. "It's got lots of writing on it, I couldn't read it all"
"No problem." Rafael lifted the tag and read the message. 'Rafa. I thought this would look nice on your desk at work. All my love, Liv xx.' He raised an eyebrow in question.
"Just open it," she instructed, gesturing to the box he held.
He lifted the lid off the box and was greeted with a brown, leather photo frame containing a picture of the three of them at a Fall Festival on Long Island. They'd had a great day playing games and picking apples, Noah had had his face painted as a jack-o'-lantern and then they'd watched the costume parade. Olivia had been snapping a photo of Rafael and Noah by a large maple-tree when an older couple passing by had offered to take one of the three of them together. In the busy weeks following that day, Olivia had forgotten all about the photo, until she was clearing some space on her phone in preparation for watching the Thanksgiving Day parade. When she'd re-discovered it, she'd decided to have it framed to gift to Rafael for Christmas. Originally, she'd planned for him to keep it at home, but in light of recent events, and the paperwork she was going to be submitting when she returned to work later in the week, she'd thought his desk would be a much better place for it.
Noah peered over his shoulder, eager to see what Rafael had received. "That's me!" he cried, pointing. "And you and Momma."
"It certainly is, mijo." Rafael tore his gaze from the photo and lifted it to meet Olivia's eyes. "Liv, it's…" he swallowed thickly, the implication of her gift clear to him, "…wonderful." He reached for her hand. "Did you mean what you wrote? You want me to put it on my desk?"
Olivia nodded. "It's time. I'll file the paperwork when we go back." She swiped her thumb across the back of his hand. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here."
Rafael shook his head as he dropped her hand to cup her cheek. "It's okay," he assured, pressing his lips to hers, capturing them in a sweet kiss.
The tender moment was disturbed by the rather loud rumbling of Noah's stomach. Rafael and Olivia pulled back from the kiss, laughing at the somewhat startled expression on the little boy's face.
"Hungry, mijo?" chuckled Rafael, ruffling his hair.
Noah nodded, and Olivia pushed herself up off the floor. "Come on then, sweet boy. Let's get you some breakfast."
Once breakfast was eaten, Noah was ready to dive in and explore his new toys. He stood in front of the sofa, eyeing the collection of gifts carefully, considering the pros and cons of playing which each one. "I think I want to play with this first," he decided after a few moments, picking up his Lego City police station. "Will you help me build it?" he asked Rafael.
"Sure mijo."
Noah passed Rafael the box to open. He set out all the pieces in organised piles and, while Olivia cleared the breakfast dishes, the two boys huddled together, following the instructions carefully to construct the police station. Rafael was patient with Noah, gently praising and guiding him as they created the building.
"Why are all the police figures boys?" Noah asked, placing one of them in the police car. "Momma and Auntie Amanda are police officers and they're not boys."
Rafael met Olivia's eye over the bar that separated the kitchen and living area. "No, they are definitely not," he smirked.
Liv rolled her eyes, shaking the slotted spoon she was holding at him.
"There should be girl police figures," Noah pouted.
Rafael nodded. "I agree. Some of the best police officers I know are girls." He surveyed the scene Noah had created, picking up one of the figures who was dressed as a criminal. He twisted its head around. "If I remember correctly this should come...," The head separated easily from the body. "…off! Aha!"
He quickly swapped the male head of a police figure with the female one and handed it to Noah. "There you go."
Noah grinned. "Thank you, Rafa!"
"De nada, mijo."
"That's Spanish, right?" Noah asked. "Momma said you speak Spanish sometimes."
"That's right, Noah. My parents were from a country called Cuba and they speak Spanish there. Obviously, I need to speak English most of the time, but sometimes I slip into Spanish without even realising it." Flitting from English to Spanish only happened when he was felt extremely comfortable with the people in his company. He'd been very guarded with the language, growing up, fear of being laughed at or segregated because of it.
Noah nodded. "What does it mean?"
"De nada?" Noah nodded. "It means 'you're welcome'."
"And the other word? Mee-ho?"
With Noah's child-like pronunciation it took Rafael a moment to realise what he'd called him. When his brain finally caught up, his jaw dropped. He hadn't noticed the term of endearment slip out. He took a moment think back over the morning and counted at least three incidents where he'd referred to Noah that way. He could feel Olivia watching him from the kitchen. The heat rose in his cheeks. The look on her face told him she was aware of exactly how many times he'd used the word 'mijo' this morning. He looked from Olivia to Noah, at a loss for what to say.
"Noah, I think it's time to get dressed, my love," Olivia declared, rescuing Rafael from the little boy's enquiring gaze.
"Awww, but Momma, Rafa was teaching me some Spanish!"
Olivia shook her head, as she rounded the bar. "No buts. You cannot spend the whole day in your pyjamas. Go on." She put her hand on Noah's back and guided him gently in the right direction. "Don't worry, Rafael will still be here when you're dressed."
Noah pouted but trudged off down the hall to his room to change.
Rafael made to stand. "We should probably get dressed too," he said, deliberately not meeting her eyes.
"In a minute." Now that Noah had broached the topic, Olivia could finally speak to Rafael and assuage her curiosity about Rafael calling him, 'mijo'. Sitting down on the sofa, she bit her lip. "Rafa…"
"Look Liv… I'm sorry. I… I didn't realise… I rarely think when I'm speaking Spanish, stuff just comes out. I didn't mean to overstep."
"Are you under the impression that I'm mad at you?" she asked, lips turning up into a smile.
He looked up at her. "I…. you mean you're not?"
"No." She patted the sofa cushion next to her. Rafael pushed himself up from his place on the floor and joined her. "Hearing you call Noah 'son'…. Knowing you think of him that way… it's actually rather nice," she admitted. "I just… I don't want you to feel like this is something you have to do because we're together."
Rafael reached for her hand, interlacing their fingers, "I don't," he assured her. "Despite what people might think, I've never been against the idea of being a father. I've just been so committed to my job that I thought my chance had passed me by. And I made peace with that, but then you adopted Noah and I started to wonder if you two could be my chance." He smiled a little sheepishly at her and glanced away. "I love you, and I love Noah and I would love nothing more than to be his Dad."
Moisture pooled in Olivia's eyes. She hadn't thought she could love him more than she already did, but her heart swelled at his words. "Rafa…" She lay a trembling hand against his cheek and drew his gaze back to her. "We love you too."
"I know, but I don't want you to feel obligated either." He looked down the hall towards Noah's room. "You or Noah."
She smiled, squeezing his hand gently as she echoed his words. "I don't." She hadn't expected Rafael to take to the role of potential father as well as he had, not after witnessing his first, awkward encounter with Noah. But, as on many occasions, he'd surprised her. Now, she couldn't think of anyone she would trust more to help her raise her son. There was no-one else she wanted to do this with. And Noah seemed happy with Rafael's presence in their lives, he'd taken to Rafael quickly and the two of them had become firm friends. "Noah doesn't seem to mind either."
"Noah doesn't know what it means yet," Rafael pointed out.
"No, he doesn't," agreed Olivia. "But you'll tell him and then he can decide." The fear of that conversation must have shown on Rafael's face because Olivia laughed lightly. "I know you don't have much experience with kids, but you're good with Noah. You are. Just be honest with him."
Just then, Noah ran back into the living room, his socked feet almost skidding on the laminate flooring, and bounded onto the sofa.
"Careful Noah!" Olivia chastised softly.
"Sorry, Momma." He edged closed to Rafael, climbing up onto his knee. "So, what does 'Mee-ho' mean?" he asked again, settling himself on the man's lap. Olivia shook her head at her son's singlemindedness.
"Mijo," Rafael began, modelling the correct pronunciation, "is Spanish for 'son'."
"Oh, okay." He shuffled to the edge of Rafael's knee and made to slide off.
Rafael caught him around the waist. "Hang on, Noah." He glanced at Liv, who nodded encouragingly. "Is it okay that I call you that?" Rafael asked. At Noah's confused look, he continued, "Because 'son' is what fathers… dads call their little boys." He wanted to be as honest with Noah as he could; it was important to him that Noah understood at least some of the implications of the decision he was asking him to make, despite his young age.
"Oh. But you're not my Dad," Noah said quietly, looking down. "I don't have a Dad."
Rafael reached out his hand, placing it under the little boy's chin and gently lifting his head so he could look him in the eye. "You could have... if you want." Rafael waited patiently while Noah processed his words.
"You?" Noah's eyes widened in amazement. "You want to be my Dad?"
Rafael smiled. "Only if you want me to be, Noah." He placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "It's up to you. You can say no, I won't be cross…" Rafael bit his lip. "…or upset."
That wasn't quite true. Rafael knew he would be crushed if Noah refused, but he didn't want to put undue pressure on the boy.
Noah tilted his head and regarded Rafael closely, considering his words.
"I'll still play with you and read you stories," Rafael assured him. "I'll still be here. I just thought it might be nice…"
"Okay, you can call me 'mijo'," Noah said, being more careful with his pronunciation this time.
"Gracias."
"That means 'thank you'," Olivia explained to her son.
"De nada," grinned Noah, wriggling out of Rafael's embrace and returning to his Lego.
They spent the rest of the day in a very traditional way. Noah had played with several toys, Olivia and Rafael watching on with delight. They had lunch and then walked to the park to play in the snow. Noah had been upset that he couldn't take his new bike because of the weather, but he soon forgot his disappointment as he pelted his mom and Rafa with snowballs. Together, they built a snowman; Olivia having had the foresight to bring a carrot for its nose and Rafael scouring the park for stones and twigs suitable for eyes and arms respectively. When the cold had gotten too much for them, they'd returned to Olivia's apartment for hot chocolate to warm them up. Noah had continued to explore his new toys as Rafael and his mom took time to ring family and friends. Lucia had been delighted to hear from her son and had managed to convince him to bring Olivia and Noah to her house the following day.
All in all, it was a perfectly normal Christmas Day. There was nothing to indicate that anything significant had taken place that morning. The subject of Noah being Rafael's mijo had gone unmentioned again, until later that evening whilst they sat watching 'The Muppet's Christmas Carol'. Kermit the Frog's character, Bob Cratchit, had just returned home and was greeted by his children with a resounding shout of 'Daddy!"
Noah sat forward on the sofa and put his hand on Rafael's knee. "Rafa?"
Rafael glanced down at the boy. "Mmm?"
Noah bit his lip as he fiddled with the cuffs of his pyjama sleeves, but stayed silent.
Noting the boy's apprehension, Rafael plucked him from Olivia's lap and cuddled him close. "It's okay, Noah. You can ask me whatever you want to."
"What's the Spanish word for Daddy?"
The question caught him off guard. Noah had asked him the Spanish for several words throughout the day; 'park', 'snow', 'car', and 'please' among them, but he hadn't mentioned their earlier conversation about sons again. Honestly, Rafael thought that he'd forgotten it had even happened. It would appear not. Rafael's heart raced as he thought about the reasons Noah would want to know the answer to that question. There was only one that he could think of that would account for Noah's nervousness.
"In Spanish, Dad is Papa and Daddy is Papi."
Noah nodded and parroted the words back, trying them out. "Papa. Papi."
"Well done, mijo." Rafael praised his pronunciation.
Noah began fiddling with his sleeve cuffs again. "Rafa? Do you think… Maybe…" He took a deep breath and the rest of the sentence came out in a rushed breath. "CanIcallyouPapi?"
Despite having an inkling as to what was coming from Noah's initial enquiry, Rafael's heart still skipped a beat when the little boy finally asked his question.
He glanced at Olivia over the top of Noah's head. She wore a similarly surprised expression to his but her soft smile and slight shrug told Rafael that she was happy with however he wanted to answer.
He ran his hands through Noah's hair and cupped his cheek, ensuring that the little boy was looking at him when he gave his answer. "Sure, if that's what you want."
Noah's eyes lit up. "Really?"
Rafael nodded. "I would love it."
"Okay then."
He turned his attention back to the film, snuggling into the crook of Rafael's arm where it lay against the arm of the sofa. The three of them sat watching as Scrooge was transformed from a ruthless tyrant into a paragon of virtue and joy, laughing at the antics of the narrators as they told the story.
By the time the credits rolled, Noah's eyes were heavy, and he was drifting in and out of sleep.
"I think it's time for bed," Olivia suggested.
"No," protested Noah, burrowing closer to Rafael. "Five more minutes."
"Okay, but you can't fall asleep there," she told him. "You're getting heavy now."
"He's okay," Rafael told her, stroking Noah's head. "You just close your eyes, mijo." He was just as reluctant to be separated as Noah. He rather enjoying holding him as he slept, revelling in Noah's trust in him.
Olivia leant across and kissed Noah's cheek. "Good night sweet boy, I love you."
"Love you, Momma. Love you too, Papi," mumbled Noah sleepily, his fist clenching into the material of Rafael's shirt.
Rafael's heart swelled at hearing Noah call him Daddy for the first time. He dropped a kiss on his son's head. "I love you too, mijo," he whispered.
A sniff beside him drew his attention from Noah. Olivia was watching them, tears in her eyes. He lifted his arm and she curled into his side. She lifted her son's legs onto her lap and wrapped an arm around his sleeping form. "Thank you for today, Rafa," she said, laying her head on his shoulder. "It was a wonderful first Christmas."
He kissed the top of her head. "The first of many, I hope?"
Olivia shook her head at his apprehension. "You practically claimed my son as your own today, and you're still unsure about our future?
"No. It's just th-"
Olivia craned her neck and captured his lips with her own, silencing and, hopefully, reassuring him. When she pulled back, she met his gaze. "I love you, Rafael Barba. This is it for me, okay?"
He nodded. "Okay." He tightened his embrace around her and whispered into her hair. "Te amo, querida."
A contented smile spread across Olivia's face and she relaxed against him completely.
There, curled together on the sofa, with Noah asleep across their laps, they let the rest of the world fall away. They were left with the sparkling lights of the tree, the warmth of a shared, loving embrace, and the promise of a future, together, as a family.
